


We'll always have Paris (CLEXA AU)

by iblamemia



Series: We'll always have Paris (CLEXA AU) [1]
Category: The 100 (TV), clexa - Fandom
Genre: Conventions, Doctor - Freeform, F/F, France (Country), Hospital, Inspired by Real Events, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Sex, Multi, Paris (City), Spain, actress, doctor/actress, loveislove
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2020-10-19 20:58:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 41
Words: 165,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20663681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iblamemia/pseuds/iblamemia
Summary: Clarke Griffin, a young doctor living in Spain, goes to a fan convention in Paris and meets her favourite actress Lexa Woods, who seems to be interested in giving her a little more than just an autograph.





	1. Cumpleaños feliz

_May 9th, 2019_

It was a sunny Thursday morning in Marbella, a popular city for tourists in southern Spain, belonging to the province of Málaga in the autonomous community of Andalusia. The perfect weather made Clarke eager to take the motorcycle to work, feeling the breeze on her neck as she was getting through Avenida Ricardo Soriano on her black BMW R nine T Pure towards the highway A-7 on her way to the Hospital Costa del Sol.

As soon as she arrived, she parked the motorcycle in the parking area reserved for the hospital staff and went on to the changing room in order to leave her belongings in the locker and put on her white coat.

Clarke's schedule for the day was to do medical check-ups in the external consultation area of Orthopaedic surgery and Traumatology, which was not her favourite activity as she enjoyed more working in the surgical area, performing emergency procedures under the supervision of her mentor Dr. Carlos Álvarez Moreno.

Starting her 4th year of the 5-year program, specializing in Orthopaedic surgery and Traumatology, Clarke didn't need a lot of supervision, which was quickly perceived by her mentor whom she admired greatly, not only because he was an amazing teacher with an enviable amount of knowledge, but also because he had always treated her with respect, as a colleague and as an equal, regardless of the professional hierarchy that was implied.

The first appointment wasn't until 9 am, so she had about 45 minutes to have breakfast in the cafeteria on the top floor of the hospital.

In the elevator on the way up she felt her phone vibrate and smiled as soon as she saw the name on the screen.

** _Text message_ **

_From: Raven_  
"Clarkie!!! I can't believe I fell asleep this morning and now I'm not gonna be the first to wish you a happy birthday 😔 Fair warning, though: you're sooo gonna wet your pants when you get home... Dude... you'll never guess the surprise I have prepared for you! Can't wait! Love you and see you later! HBD ❤️"

Clarke's smile was becoming bigger and bigger as she was reading Raven's text message; her roommate had that effect on her ever since they met back in 2016 when Clarke was starting her 1st year of the medical residency.

They had met on one of those websites where people were looking for roommates and even though Clarke's inicial idea was to share an apartment with Spanish speaking people so she could improve her knowledge of the language to perfection, in the end Raven's sense of humour won that battle and she became not only her roommate, but also her best friend.

Raven was a graphic designer and illustrator, born and raised in a very wealthy family in New York where she completed her studies and then went on to get her Master degree in Europe. She did exactly that in Málaga,where she lived for two years until she finished the program.

After that Raven obtained an amazing job in one of the best Construction and Real estate companies in Andalusia, so she had to move to Marbella and that's when she met the blonde Australian doctor by the name of Clarke Griffin.

They were quite the opposites - starting by their appearance, Raven was a dark-haired Latin beauty, with dark brown eyes and voluminous lips, athletic body that she was not reluctant to show off by wearing revealing, yet tasteful outfits, but at the same time preserving some type of a casual look with her long hair in a ponytail almost 90% of the time.

On the other hand, Clarke was a gorgeous blue-eyed blonde, with light complexion and a voluptuous body, which she did not feel comfortable flaunting, so she avoided close-fitting clothes.

She had more of a sporty elegant style, often combining jeans with an elegant blazer and a classic t-shirt underneath.

Clarke owned one pair of high heels, which she wore on rare occasions, otherwise she preferred low top shoes, her favourite brands being Converse, Vans and Adidas.

Raven was two years younger than Clarke and sort of a free spirit, quite unpredictable in comparison to her roommate who was more of a steady, neat creature of habit. Maybe that is why they hit it off so well in the first place, it seemed like they were challenging each other to step out of their comfort zone and become the best version of themselves.

With a huge smile on her face, Clarke started typing:

_From: Clarke_  
"I think the biggest surprise would've been if you had actually woken up before 8 am 😝 Hmmm let me at least try and guess... Are you going to clean the apartment? 😯 Love you too, Ray Ray ❤️"

_From: Raven_  
"Ha! Good one! You know I would NEVER take that pleasure away from you 😁 It's pretty much your stress relief activity. No, this is waaaay better. And you'll never guess, never! 🤐 I wrote 'never' three times. It must be true."

_From: Clarke_  
"When you're right, you're right. Damn, what could be better than a clean apartment...🤔 Ok. I give up. But you know you shouldn't have told me anything, now I might actually kill a patient thinking about your surprise!! It's not a stripper, is it? 🧐"

_From: Raven_  
"Waaaay better than an exotic dancer. Yes, that's how they're called nowadays. You're getting old, Clarkie!🤓"

By the time Clarke read the last message from Raven, the elevator had already stopped at the top floor. She put her phone in the side pocket of her white coat and went to the bar to get some breakfast and tea.

After looking around, she quickly located the group of colleges she usually hung out with in the cafeteria, as they were seated on the terrace overlooking the sea, enjoying the sun.

Clarke approached them and they smiled as they stood up and started singing Happy birthday to her:

"Cumpleaños feliz,  
Cumpleaños feliz  
Te deseamos, Clarkie  
Cumpleaños feliz"

One by one, they started hugging her and kissing her on the cheeks with big smiles on their faces.

It was a group of four doctors, including Clarke and they had become good friends over the years.

There was Juan Miguel, whom everyone called Juanmi, a 4th year resident, specializing in Internal Medicine and he was handsome, tall and dark, which made him an object of desire for many of the medical staff.

Unfortunately for them, he was madly in love with his girlfriend Luna, a charming 3rd year resident in Oncology, with curly brown hair, who had moved from Argentina to Spain to do her medical residency.

The last member of their group of friends was Juanmi's cousin Octavia, a 4th year resident in Orthopaedic surgery and Traumatology. She and Clarke had started the residency together and despite their differences in character, they had become very close and often socialized outside of the hospital, mostly in Clarke and Raven's apartment.

Octavia was a delightful green-eyed brunette, very intelligent and focused on her career, a little too much as Raven would often remark, which would usually lead to a quarrel between the two of them, very amusing for Clarke who had realized that they were a lot more alike than they cared to admit.

After the group finished with the congratulations, they all sat down to enjoy their breakfast together.

"So, Clarke... is it still on for Saturday?" Juanmi asked with a smile on his face.

"Of course, I made a reservation at The Fenix," Clarke replied. "First we meet at out apartment around 8 pm to have drinks and something to eat, and then we'll go to the club. Although, Raven is super excited about some surprise she's preparing for me tonight, so I hope I'll be still alive by Saturday."

"Oh, God, I wonder what that kooky roommate of yours is up to this time," Octavia stated while rolling her eyes.

Everyone laughed at Octavia's words, mostly because they were aware of the dynamics between her and Raven, and also because the tone Octavia used to describe Clarke's roommate made it sound adorable, even if that wasn't her intention.

Suddenly someone approached Clarke from behind, leaving a muffin with a lit candle on top of it in front of her. She turned around in her chair and saw her beautiful girlfriend's face, smiling at her.

"Happy birthday, baby!" Eva exclaimed, giving her a soft kiss on the lips. "Come on, make a wish."

Clarke smiled, a little bit fuddled by her girlfriend's behaviour, since Eva had never been keen on showing affection in public.

She blew the candle and then stood up to give Eva a hug.

"Thank you, babe... That was very sweet of you," Clarke whispered with her sensual raspy voice in her girlfriend's ear, which gave Eva goose bumps on her neck.

Eva was a very attractive brunette with long, wavy hair, hazel eyes and slim body, a little bit shorter than her girlfriend and she occasionally wore glasses, which Clarke found very appealing and was often trying to convince her to use them instead of contact lenses.

The brunette was specializing in Dermatology, starting her 2nd year of the residency, and they had been dating for almost a year.

Born in Barcelona, Eva had been living in Marbella since about one year ago, following the path of her medical career. That was when she met Clarke at the welcome party for the new residents, which was an annual thing organized by the older residents to show support for their younger collegues.

The attraction between the blonde and the brunette had been immediate, exchanging numbers that same night and the next day Clarke had received the first text message from Eva, asking her out for a cup of coffee. She'd gladly accepted and they'd been dating ever since.

Their relationship had started out passionately, hitting a few bumps in the road in other aspects, like for example when Eva and Raven met and had zero chemistry, which was a bit of a setback for Clarke. Eventually, they managed to politely tolerate each other, keeping their exchange trivial and to a minimum.

Before Eva, Clarke had a few serious relationships, all of them in Slovenia, which is where she lived for 7 years before moving to Spain.

At the age of 17, realizing that the cost of attending the University in Australia would be at least 50.000$ per year, she had made some research about the educational system in Slovenia, the birth country of her mother, and decided to move there after finishing high school, spend the summer at her grandmother's house and then enrole in the Medical degree program at the University of Maribor.

She was thrilled about the new adventure, especially because she would be getting her degree free of charge, no tuition whatsoever, which was how she always had imagined education should be like - accessible for those who were ready and willing to study.

Clarke's double citizenship, her previous knowledge of the language and outgoing personality had made her college years a marvellous experience, as well as a great opportunity career-wise.

The Faculty of Medicine at the University of Maribor was fairly new, but had already made a reputation for itself as one of the best faculties in Europe, not only because of the advanced curriculum and the exceptional professors, but also due to the newest modern 3D technology in Anatomy and Simulation centres in Emergency medicine. What was also enviable was their student exchange program and Clarke gained a lot of practical knowledge by spending a total of five months of medical practise in Spain, two years in a row in three different hospitals.

One of those hospitals was the Hospital Costa del Sol and that was when she decided she wanted to do her residency there and couldn't imagine spending the next 5 years with another team of doctors.

Eva excused herself, saying she needed to go to the meeting room to get ready for the presentation of a clinical case she had been working on and they agreed on talking later during the day.

After finishing her breakfast, Clarke took the stairs to level -1 to the external consultation area of Orthopaedic surgery and Traumatology.

The morning went by quickly, until her last medical check up, a 17-year old patient with a bimaleolar fracture of the right ankle, caused by a traffic accident, which had been operated on by Clarke and her mentor about five weeks ago.

"So, Claudia... today I will remove the cast and the staples from your leg and soon you will be able to put some weight on it, using the ankle stabilizer, ok?" Clarke informed her patient while looking at the x-ray images. "The x-ray reveals good alignment of the fractured bones and the osteosynthetic material we inserted during the procedure is stable and shows no signs of infection. If you could lie down on the bed, please, I will proceed to removing the cast."

Claudia took a long look at Clarke, from head to toe, with a perky smile on her face and said:

"For you, Clarke, I would lie down anywhere you want... Anytime."

Clarke turned away from the x-ray images, left them on the desk and walked towards the patient to help her move from the chair to the bed.

"Claudia, we've already talked about this..." she said, holding the young woman under her arm while helping her get to the bed. "For you, I am Dr. Griffin and you are my patient... I'm calling you by your name because you insisted on it, but I haven't given you a permission to call me by mine. Plus, other than being inappropriate, don't you think you're a bit too young for the insinuation you just made?"

"I'm sorry, Dr. Griffin..." Claudia appologized with faked remorse, keeping a part of that same perky smile on one side of her lips. "It's just that I have so much trust in you as a doctor that I would really do anything you'd ask, no question about it," she continued as she lay down on the bed and Clarke helped her lift up her legs. "And, I'll have you know that I'm turning 18 soon, which makes me... legal..." Claudia finished the sentence by giving a wink to Clarke.

Clarke couldn't help but smile at the tenacity of her young patient who had been flirting with her since the day she'd attended her in the emergency room.

"That's not until December, Claudia. And it doesn't matter anyway, I have your mother's signature that gives me permission to treat you, and that is all I need from you," Clarke replied, trying to sound a bit more harsh, hoping Claudia hadn't noticed the smile on her face earlier.

"Hmm..." Claudia had a pensive look in her eyes, touching her chin with her index finger. "So, do you happen to know all your patients' birthdays or am I just that special?"

"I just have good memory, especially with numbers," Clarke explained, turning away from Claudia, trying to prevent her from seeing that she'd made her blush.

The young patient smiled, knowing that she'd made Clarke uncomfortable enough and that it was time to stop her advances before crossing the line.

She was quite charming, actually, a bit shorter than Clarke, light-brown eyes, long dark hair, with a firm, elegant body and a bronze tan that made her look very exotic and attractive. Of course Clarke had noticed all that, she was just a woman after all, but she had been 100% professional since the beginning, despite being aware of Claudia's innuendo.

"You know, Dr.Griffin..." Claudia added, after a pause. "Sometimes people are convinced they're fine with things being just as they are, until something or someone comes into their life and wakes them up, making them realize it's exactly what they needed all along."

Clarke stopped what she was doing for a moment and smiled at Claudia while nodding, because strangely she felt that those words actually fitted into her own life perfectly.

Lately she had been feeling as if something had been missing, but she was not able to put a finger on it.

She then proceeded to the removal of the cast and the staples, and afterwards adjusted the ankle stabilizer on Claudia's leg.

Clarke set a date for the next check up, which would be in two weeks, opened the door for her patient, who was still using crutches, and saw Eva standing in the hallway.

Claudia looked at her with interest, trying to get a sense of the relation between the two doctors, as she had no clue if Clarke was dating anyone or if she was actually into women.

Eva greeted them politely and waited until the patient approached her mother and then entered into Clarke's consultation room.

Once inside, she pushed her girlfriend against the door and pressed her lips against hers. This action took Clarke by surprise, although a pleasant one, so she slightly opened her mouth to welcome Eva's tongue. She didn't hesitate and pushed it inside, making Clarke moan when she felt the warmth and wetness of that skilled muscle engaging in a circular motion with her own.

Eva grabbed Clarke's generous breasts as the latter placed her hands on Eva's buttocks and squeezed them while the kiss intensified. Their heart rate and breathing accelerated, the excitement increasing at the same time, until they had to separate their lips to gasp for air.

Clarke opened her eyes and gently stroked Eva's cheek, who was still a bit out of breath and with her pupils dilated from the desire accumulating in her body.

"Mmm... how about we go to my place and finish what we started?" she said in a seductive tone while biting her lower lip and looking into Clarke's eyes.

"Uh... I'd love to, baby, but I can't... Raven is waiting for me at home for lunch and a birthday surprise, she's sent at least 10 messages over the last 30 minutes asking if I'm on my way," declined Clarke with a sad expression on her face.

"Of course she is..." Eva replied with a sarcastic tone while rolling her eyes.

"Oh come on, don't be mad, I promise I'll make it up to you," Clarke responded making sad puppy eyes and pouting.

"You better!" Eva finally smiled and gave Clarke a soft kiss on the lips.

"Hey, how did your presentation go? Or do you prefer to tell me about it tonight?" Clarke remembered to ask.

"Tonight? I didn't know we had any plans for tonight?" Eva looked at Clarke with a confused expression on her face.

"We didn't, but... it's my birthday, I thought you were gonna stop by or we could go out for drinks?" Clarke replied with a little bit of a disappointment in her voice.

"Damn, I'm sorry, babe... Since you're celebrating your birthday on Saturday, I already made plans for tonight with some of the Dermatology residents..." she said. "María Isabel has invited us for drinks to celebrate her first successful surgical removal of a malignant melanoma..." Eva explained with an excitement over the procedure.

"Yeah, you're right, we're going out on Saturday anyway," Clarke agreed, trying not to sound too frustrated.

Eva kissed her again and they both went to the locker room, where they said their goodbyes and Clarke hurried back home to see what her best friend had prepared for her birthday.


	2. Oh... My... Heda!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven gives Clarke the biggest surprise ever. On Saturday they all celebrate Clarke's birthday and there's some sexual tension between two members of the group of friends in the club later that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading and for your comments/kudos <3

Clarke opened the exterior gate, then parked the motorcycle in her spot and took the elevator to the top floor to the apartment she shared with Raven.

They lived in a 8-floor building on _Avenida Ricardo Soriano_, pretty much in the centre of Marbella and they couldn't be happier. The location was ideal, only 5 minute walk to the beach, and if they didn't feel like walking but wanted to cool off on hot summer days, they just needed to go to the ground floor and enjoy the pool that was part of the building complex and reserved for the residents.

The neighbourhood was very safe and the building superintendent, a sweet 50-year old man named Julio, was always around, which was a big plus since the apartment owner was living in England; so whenever Clarke and Raven needed something fixed Julio was there for them.

As Clarke approached the apartment door, she was becoming noticeably nervous and excited at the same time. After the disappointment she felt earlier because of Eva's behaviour, she really needed something to cheer her up and she knew Raven was the only one who could turn that day around.

Clarke unlocked the door and entered into the hallway, leaving her jacket on the hanger, and then turned left towards the living room.

A big smile emerged on her face when she saw Raven standing in the middle of what looked like a sea of balloons of all colours and a 'Happy birthday' banner hanging from the ceiling. In her hands she was holding a cake with 2 candle numbers, a two and a nine, lit on top of it.

As soon as she saw Clarke, she started singing 'Happy birthday' to her and when she finished, Clarke blew the candles and gave Raven a strong hug, getting some of the cake toppings on her shirt as well as Raven's in the process.

"Duuuude... Not this shirt!" Raven exclaimed as she was putting down the cake on the dinning table and then hurried to clean up her shirt.

"Sorry, Ray," apologized Clarke, keeping the smile on her face. "But I really needed that hug... seeing you standing there with all that you've prepared for me just made me really happy," she said with a mixture of happiness and sadness in her eyes. "Not as happy as this, though..."

She suddenly started applying playfully some of the cake topping on Raven's face, who responded by putting even more of it on Clarke's.

"Damn, girl, if this was your response to the balloons and the cake, I'm afraid to see what you'll do to me when I give you your present," Raven replied after they had stopped the 'cake war'.

She had perceived the tone of sadness in Clarke's voice, but chose not to inquire at the moment.

"There's more surprises?" Clarke opened her eyes widely and her smile got even bigger, looking like a little child on Christmas morning waiting for her gift.

"Who do you take me for, Griffin? Of course there's more," responded Raven, pretending to be offended by Clarke's question. "Clarke, my friend..." she continued. "It has been a terrible month for me hiding this, and I'm so relieved I can finally give it to you... no pun intended," Raven laughed as she took out an envelope from her back pocket and handed it out to Clarke.

Clarke gave her a gentle push on the shoulder before taking the envelope from Raven's hand. She was so intrigued by it that she couldn't wait one more second not knowing what it was.

She opened it quickly and looked inside. There were two pieces of paper with something printed on them. As she proceeded to unfold them and took a glance, the smile on her face disappeared only to be replaced by an expression of a complete shock.

"Oh my God..." she managed to say quietly as she was looking at the paper.

"You mean... Oh my Heda?" Raven asked playfully.

** _ Flashback _ **

_March 26, 2017_

_It was one of those lazy Sundays, Clarke and Raven had gone out the night before to celebrate Raven's birthday and they were trying to beat their hangover with some pain killers and fast food. Clarke was checking out the content on Netflix while sitting on the couch with Raven's feet resting on her lap._

_"What do you feel like watching" she asked Raven who was scrolling on Instagram._

_"How about we start a new TV show? Orange is the new black doesn't come out until June," Raven suggested. _

_Clarke agreed and opened the TV series section, looking for something interesting to watch. One of the suggestions was 'The Last Commander' and the actress on the cover immediately got Clarke's attention._

_She was a stunning brunette, with long wavy hair falling casually on her shoulders, dressed in what looked like a warrior outfit with a long red cape on the left side of her body and she was sitting on some kind of wooden throne with a knife in her right hand. The look in her eyes was determined and mesmerizing at the same time which was emphasized by the black war paint around her eyes and some sort of symbol pinned on her forehead, while she was holding her left palm up as if that's all she needed to do to draw attention to herself. _

_As soon as Clarke was able to take her eyes off of that beautiful human being, she started reading the synopsis of the TV series._

"_The Last Commander is an American post-apocalyptic science fiction drama television series that premiered on March 19, 2017 on Netflix and it is based on the novel series of the same name by Catherine Morris. Set ninety-five years after a nuclear war has almost destroyed civilization, the series follows Heda, The Commander of the allied Grounder clans who is proven to be a reasonable leader and strong warrior. Since a young age she has been trained to separate feelings from duty in order to become a ruthless leader, believing love is weakness and following the concept of "Jus drein Jus daun"(blood must have blood). But her ability to follow her teachings is put to the test when she meets Costia, a beautiful and vibrant young woman who steals Heda's heart."_

_"Oh wow!" Clarke exclaimed, captivated by the story she'd just read. "Raven, we have to watch this! It looks amazing!"_

_Raven looked at the TV screen and replied:_

_"You mean, SHE looks amazing? Holy shit, who is that woman??"_

_"It says here her name's Lexa Woods," Clarke responded._

"_Damn, she's hot," Raven observed. "I'm in, Clarkie, let's do this!"_

** _ End of flashback _ **

"Raven, is this for real? Am I going to meet Lexa Woods? My Heda?" Clarke was trying to assimilate the information.

In her hands she was holding a ticket that said: '_Allied Grounders Convention Paris, Dimanche/Sunday 14/07/2019'_ and the other piece contained the extras, which were 'Autograph - Lexa Woods', _'Photoshoot - Lexa Woods'_ and _'Selfie – Lexa Woods'._

"Well, since you've been obsessing over her for the last two years, I figured it was about time you met her," Raven confirmed. "And she can sign the painting of Heda that you made... you know the one you look at when you touch yourself," she said in a frisky manner.

"What?? I don't do that!" Clarke's voice jumped to a frequency that probably upset all the dogs in the building.

"Which one? The touching or you looking at her photo while doing it?" Raven continued with the teasing.

"The second one," Clarke answered with no hesitation.

"Oh, right, I forgot you told me you started masturbating at the age of five," Raven laughed. "Ok, I know you're saving your vacation days and can't take a lot of days off, so I thought we could fly to Paris on Saturday from Málaga and come back on Monday, so you can go back to work on Tuesday. What do you think? Oh, and the photoshoot is for the both of us, I want us to do the Charlie's angels pose with Lexa."

"Aha..." Clarke nodded not being able to look away from the ticket. She then forced herself to snap out of her state of shock and hugged Raven one more time. "Thank you so much, Ray Ray. It's the best gift ever!"

"It was my pleasure, dude... We're gonna have a blast in Paris!" Raven said enthusiastically. "Now, how about we go out for lunch to that vegan restaurant that you like?"

Clarke agreed and went to the bathroom to wash up and change her clothes, then they went to the restaurant and enjoyed a lovely afternoon together. Clarke opened up about Eva's nonchalant behaviour and how she felt that her girlfriend sometimes acted a bit childish and selfish, so Raven suggested that she should talk to her about it and express her concerns.

After lunch they went to the beach and in the evening they had some cocktails at a bar nearby. That was when Clarke received a message from Eva, inviting them to join her and her colleagues at the bar where they were having drinks, but Clarke declined because she was still a bit mad at her girlfriend, plus she knew that the topic of conversation would be about medical procedures and clinical cases, which was something she always tried to avoid in her free time.

She had actually sworn she would never date a doctor, because even though she loved her profession, the moment she left the hospital she turned off that part of her brain connected to her work and didn't like to talk or hear about it. But then she met Eva and decided to give it a try, and even though in the beginning it was difficult, seeing that her girlfriend was quite the opposite in that matter, they eventually compromised and agreed not to discuss work unless it was extremely necessary.

After finishing their drinks, Raven and Clarke went home, watched an episode of the Last Commander on Netflix, ate some cake and then went to bed.

On Saturday they went out to the supermarket, which was conveniently right next to their building and bought some snacks, alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks for Clarke's birthday party, which was going to be on the rooftop where they had some outside furniture and cushions.

In the afternoon they prepared everything, including the sound system and also brought Clarke's guitar in case they wanted to sing and play a bit, which they often did at their gatherings.

At around 9 pm the guests started arriving and the atmosphere was relaxed and joyful.

One of the first ones to arrive was Octavia, who was wearing a tight black dress with lace material in the upper part revealing a bit of her cleavage.

"Damn, girl..." said Raven while checking her out from head to toes. "You brought your a-game tonight."

"I always do, Raven," Octavia stated calmly. "And you're not so bad yourself," she looked at Raven's blue dress with slim straps and her eyes wandered off to her low-cut cleavage and quickly went back to Raven's eyes.

"Wow, an actual compliment from you. If you keep that up, you might even get lucky tonight," Raven winked at Octavia.

"I'm flattered, really, but you know I don't play for that team," Octavia replied with a smirky smile on her face.

"Ha! In your dreams!" Raven laughed. "I was thinking more of some poor guy falling for your charms tonight and helping you loosen up a bit, if you catch my drift."

"Why _poor_ guy? He'd be lucky to spend the night with me."

"Sure, until you kick him out in the morning and then ignore his messages, like you always do."

"Well, why would I want to keep talking to him if I see no future for us?"

"How can you be sure after one night? You don't even give them a chance to get to know them," Raven replied feeling a little frustrated.

"One night is all I need to know everything there is to know... Sometimes all it takes is one kiss," Octavia replied, looking intensely into Raven's eyes, standing very close to her.

Raven looked back at her with the same fierce look, lowering it to Octavia's lips as she gently licked her own.

"Hey, hey, what's going on?" Clarke interrupted, feeling the ardent energy between her friends. "Come on, let's dance!"

Clarke dragged them to the improvised dance floor between the furniture and they all danced, even though Raven couldn't help but look at Octavia once in while and then look away at the same moment their eyes met.

The song that was playing was 'Move in the right direction' by Gossip, one of Clarke's favourite bands and she was singing along as she was dancing to it.

At that moment Eva arrived and hugged Clarke from behind, giving her a kiss on the neck. Clarke put her hands on top of Eva's and moved her hips in a way that her behind was pressing against Eva's pelvis.

When the song ended, she gave Clarke the present and kissed her on the lips. It was a rectangular box, wrapped in pink decorative paper.

"Happy birthday, baby! I hope you'll like it."

Clarke unwrapped the present and saw a blue box with the words "Dolce & Gabbana Light blue" on it, and then she opened it to discover a set of Eau de Toilette, Body Cream and Shower gel. It was the first birthday gift from Eva since they'd started dating and even though Clarke was never picky about presents, she felt that it should come from the heart and really appreciated it when someone had actually put a thought into how to give her something special and unique.

She didn't like expensive gifts, in fact, she preferred something meaningful, even handmade – basically anything that you can't just pick out off a shelf in less than five minutes. Or books, she could never get enough of books.

Definitely not a perfume, especially not one she didn't even like. She had been using the same perfume for almost a decade, it was _Pure Poison_ by _Dior_, and she didn't have any intention of changing it.

For Eva's birthday she had their first selfie developed and framed in a nice wooden frame with the date engraved on it and she had prepared delicious dinner for her, following the recipes of some of Cataluña's traditional food, such as _Samfaina_ and _Crema catalana_, just to give Eva a little taste of home.

She managed to put a smile on her face and kissed her girlfriend, thanking her for the gift.

"I know it's not your perfume, but I thought you'd like to mix it up a bit," Eva said with a slightly worried look in her eyes, because she knew Clarke was a person of habit and didn't respond well to changes.

"No no, it's actually good for me to try something new... Maybe this one will become my new favourite perfume," Clarke replied, noticing the nervousness in her girlfriend's eyes and gave her a kiss on the lips, trying the make Eva feel good about the gift.

Later on, they ordered pizza delivery and continued dancing and drinking on the rooftop.

Eva had a few complaints about the music, requesting reggaeton songs and Clarke reluctantly granted her wish, since it was not a type of music she really cared for.

Around midnight they went out and headed to the LGBTQ club Fenix, which was at 15 minutes walking distance from the apartment, but felt a lot closer as it usually happens under the influence of alcohol.

There they continued drinking and having fun, especially when a lot of men started showing interest for Juanmi, sending him drinks and inviting him to the dance floor, which he politely declined, explaining that he was with his girlfriend.

The few straight men, as well as the lesbians in the club immediately scanned Raven and Octavia, who were the only ones without a significant other in the group of friends and both of them enjoyed the attention.

Couple of hours later, Octavia was dancing with a tall blonde guy, a British tourist who had gone to the club with his friends, unaware that it was a gay club.

At the same time Raven was dancing with his friend who had already invited her back to his hotel and he was becoming a little impatient with his hands moving them aggressively towards Raven's buttocks as she was trying to get rid of his grip.

Suddenly she felt someone grabbing her arm and dragging her away from her dancing partner and when she turned around, she saw Octavia's face who pulled her closer, so much that their noses almost touched.

Raven realized that she had come to her rescue and felt very grateful for it, but didn't want to admit it.

"So you changed your mind, I see..." she said with a smug look on her face.

"What?" Octavia was unpleasantly surprised to see that Raven was not showing an appreciation for the intervention on her part. "It looked like you needed help with the handsy 'fella' over there, so I felt obliged to step in, since our friends are God knows where doing couples' stuff."

"I could've perfectly handled him myself," Raven replied ironically while dancing to _'One Kiss'_ by _Dua Lipa_, her body almost touching Octavia's.

"Well, I'll know not to intervene next time when someone's trying to undress you on the dance floor... How foolish of me to think that you might actually thank me for helping you out," she said turning away from Raven in an intent to leave the dance floor.

That was when Raven grabbed her arm and pulled her so close that she could actually feel her breath on her lips when she spoke.

"How about I kiss you instead?" Raven asked and pressed her lips onto Octavia's before the latter had the chance to answer.

She closed her eyes and let go of Octavia's hand which found her way to Raven's shoulder, while she positioned her hands on Octavia's waist and pulled her even closer.

Octavia needed a couple of seconds the grasp the fact that she was feeling Raven's delicious lips and realized she wanted more of that taste, so she slightly opened her mouth, which was perceived by Raven as an invitation for her tongue, so she didn't hold back and entered Octavia's mouth, feeling the warmth as their tongues met.

She was aware of Octavia's hands latching on to her neck, looking for a deeper contact between them and intensified the kiss with the circular movements of her tongue that became more passionate.

As they were calming down, Octavia bit Raven's lower lip which provoked a gentle moan originating from Raven's throat, making Octavia feel a tingling between her legs.

The song was about to end as their lips separated after the bite and they opened their eyes, immediately finding each other out of breath, with their hearts racing and nothing but pure passion in their dilated pupils.

Suddenly a moment of clarity came upon them as the music stopped and the lights went on, which was a sign that it was closing time.

They quickly stepped away from each other and started to look around, trying to find their friends.

It wasn't long before they located them and everyone moved towards the exit.

Once out, the group started walking towards a square where there was a known taxi stop, because Juanmi's and Luna's apartment, as well as Octavia's were on the other side of Marbella in the direction to the hospital and they were too tired to go on foot.

"Octavia, why don't you stay over at our apartment tonight? Eva's staying too, but you can sleep on the couch and tomorrow the four of us can have a nice day on the beach," Clarke suggested. "Plus, it'll make Raven feel less like a third wheel."

"No!" Raven and Octavia exclaimed in unison as they looked at each other for the first time after their steamy kiss.

Everyone looked at them surprised at their reaction.

"I mean, no, I don't feel like a third wheel..." Raven tried to save the situation.

"Thanks, Clarke, but I don't have anything with me and I can't wait to get home and take this dress off," explained Octavia, trying to decline the invitation.

"Oh, that's not a problem, we have enough clothes you can borrow, and a bathing suit for tomorrow...." Clarke insisted. "I'll give you the red one, the one you like."

"No, really, I can come back tomorrow and..."

"I know you, you won't!" Clarke interrupted Octavia. "You'll be hungover and too tired... Pleaaaaase, it's my birthday weekend!" she begged using the sad puppy eyes technique.

"Ughhhhh... Fine!" Octavia finally agreed after a deliberation.

Juanmi and Luna took a taxi home and the four young women walked in the direction to the apartment, this time the fifteen minute walk felt a lot longer to Raven and Octavia who remained in complete silence until they arrived to the building.

Once inside, Clarke prepared the couch for Octavia, gave her some towels and a big t-shirt she could use as a pyjama and then went to her bathroom to join Eva in the shower.

In the other bathroom, Raven had already showered and brushed her teeth, and was on her way to the kitchen to get herself a glass of water. She had to pass the living room in order to get to the fridge and there she saw Octavia desperately trying to unzip the back of her dress. The image drew a smile on her face and she approached the couch, startling Octavia who hadn't seen Raven come in.

"Sorry, it's just me," Raven apologized smiling. "I just thought I should return the favour and help you out."

Octavia stopped what she was doing and looked at Raven, feeling a bit uncomfortable, but at the same time relieved that she was there to help her.

"Yes, thank you," she said as she turned around so that Raven could access the zipper on her back.

She felt Raven's cold fingers on her neck as she was starting to unzip the dress and felt a sensation of electricity run through her body, making her twitch.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I just washed my hands... they're a bit cold," Raven apologized as she finished unzipping the dress, revealing the back side of Octavia's black bra. "There you go, all done."

"It's fine, thank you," she responded and turned around to face Raven.

For a moment she could see a trace of desire in Raven's eyes, making it hard for her not to repeat the moment of passion they shared at the bar. Instead, she decided to shut down her instinct.

"Raven... about what happened at Fenix... I had a lot to drink and..."

"Yeah, me too," Raven interrupted her with the same idea in her head. "It was just the heat of the moment and didn't mean anything," she said quickly, sounding as if she had practised those exact words before speaking.

Even though Octavia was going to say something similar before Raven beat her to it, it was still inexplicably painful to hear it didn't mean anything. She felt like she was just another one of Raven's conquests and it wasn't a nice place to be in.

Despite that, she decided to play it cool and agreed with Raven.

"Exactly what I was gonna say... I didn't feel anything, it was just like when we were experimenting with our girl friends in high school."

Now it was Raven who felt like someone had punched her in the stomach, leaving her unable to speak. She was sure she had felt Octavia's arousal when they were kissing, but to hear her deny it made her doubt herself and wonder if she had imagined it.

She tried to hide the disillusionment and simply concurred.

"Yes, exactly like that... Although, I must say, you playing with your girl friends definitely paid off... You're quite the kisser, Ms. Romero," she said and winked at her. "Goodnight."

Raven turned around and walked to the kitchen to get that glass of water. She heard Octavia softly say "Goodnight, Raven" as she was passing the living room on the way to her bedroom, memorizing the image of her standing next to the couch, now only wearing Clarke's oversized shirt, and ignoring the urge to invite her to her bed.


	3. On y va à Paris!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's two months later and Clarke & Raven are getting ready for their trip to Paris. The night before they arrive there, they all hang out at the apartment and we get a little insight into the relationship dynamics between Clarke and Eva. Also, we learn what happened between Raven & Octavia after their moment of passion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everyone! Thanks for your interest in my story, I'm glad you like it!  
I felt that it was important to develop the characters a bit more before their encounter with Lexa, and in this chapter we get to know Eva as well and the way she interacts with Clarke and her friends.

_Friday, July 12, 2019_

"Ready?" Clarke asked as she was waiting for her girlfriend to put on the helmet.

"I'll never be ready for a motorcycle ride, Clarke..." Eva replied sounding indifferent. "I'm just glad I'm getting my car back today... it's been a long week."

"Oh, come on, this was a good way for you to prepare for our road trip."

"What road trip?" Eva frowned as she sat behind Clarke.

"The one I've been trying to convince you to do with me since we started dating," she clarified. "We could travel all around Andalucía for starters, and then who knows, we could go up to Cataluña if we'd like."

"No way, Clarke... I've told you I don't like going long distances with your bike," Eva was determined. "Now, please, take me to the workshop to get my car."

Clarke sighed and drove off, deciding not to insist with the subject that always led to a fight and she was definitely not in the mood for it.

She knew that Eva was not a big fan of her motorcycle, but she had hoped that in time things would change and she'd be open to an adventure with her.

For Clarke it felt as if her girlfriend didn't trust her to keep her safe and it was becoming an issue between them, even after they'd talked about it and Eva had assured her that it wasn't the case.

After a short drive, Clarke dropped Eva off at the workshop and went home. At the entrance of the building, she ran into Julio, the superintendent, who greeted her with a smile on his face.

"Hello, _doctora, _how was your day?" he asked politely.

"Hello Julio, it was fine, thank you," she answered. "How's yours so far?"

"Not too bad, although I must say today I've been feeling the pain in my lower back again... Ever since the fall when I was cleaning the pool, I just can't seem to shake this off."

"But the fall was last week, Julio, these things take time to heal..."

"I know, I know... but I thought, maybe you could give me another injection, like the one you gave me when I fell," he looked at her with plea in his eyes.

"There's no need for it, I promise you... Just take the pills I gave you for one more week and with a couple of sessions of physiotherapy you'll be as good as new," Clarke explained and walked towards the elevator.

"From your lips to God's ears, _doctora_," Julio gave up and decided to thank her instead by giving his favourite doctor a bag of fresh tomatoes he brought from his garden.

She accepted the gift and took the elevator to the 8th floor.

Clarke walked towards the apartment and noticed a sound of music getting louder as she was approaching the door. She went inside and saw Raven wearing nothing but a bikini and dancing to _"Alors on dance"_ by _Stromae_ next to a pile of clothes scattered around the couch.

"Bonjour, Clarkie!" she shouted when she saw Clarke looking at her with an amused expression on her face. "I'm packing for the weekend, can't decide what to take with me..."

Clarke smiled and grabbed the sound system's remote control to turn down the volume.

"Really, Raven? It's just a weekend, dude! We're only taking hand luggage, remember?"

"Yes, I know! That's exactly the problem! I have to make the decisions now instead of later in the hotel, you know what I mean? I have to plan two outfits for travelling, one outfit for Saturday night and another one for the convention on Sunday... What are you going to wear?"

"Oh, I've already packed," Clarke replied calmly.

"Of course you have," Raven exhaled as she sat on the only spot on the couch that was not covered in her clothes.

"Listen, I'm going to take a shower and then we can eat some leftovers, ok?" Clarke suggested.

"Sure... We could finish off the vegan lasagna you made yesterday," Raven agreed.

"Ray, you don't have to say vegan every single time," Clarke laughed. "I always cook vegan, so it's implied."

"Don't be a smartass," she said as she threw a pillow at her roommate.

Clarke moved quickly and managed to dodge the object flying in her direction. She then left the bag of tomatoes in the kitchen and walked towards the bathroom, but remembered that she forgot to mention something to Raven.

"Oh, and I invited Octavia and Eva to our place tonight, they're gonna stop by to have drinks at the balcony... I hope you don't mind," she shouted from the bathroom.

Hearing Octavia's name evoked the memory of their moment of passion inside Raven's head, which she'd been actively trying not to think about in the last two months. In that time they had been in the presence of each other during the gatherings with their friends, and things had been quite normal between them. Even their typical quarrels were still a part of their communication, although not as often as they used to be.

Raven had been on couple of dates since then, keeping herself busy between casual meetings with people she had met on Tinder and work.

"Of course, no problem," she finally replied.

Raven had finally finished packing after choosing an outfit for each day in Paris and she and Clarke ate the leftovers before the went to the pool to relax and wait for their guests to arrive.

After a while, Clarke was sunbathing and reading a book and Raven was getting out of the pool when she turned around and noticed Octavia coming towards them, wearing running clothes that accentuated her toned figure.

She glanced at her black slim fitted tank top, revealing her tight abs, black sports shorts that make her legs look long and inviting, combining it all with black and white Nike running shoes.

For a moment Raven considered going back into the pool to cool off the heat provoked by the view of Octavia, but instead she decided to get out and greet her.

When she grabbed the handrails, she could feel Octavia's eyes scanning her wet body and she couldn't help but smile, knowing that the attraction was mutual.

Octavia ogled Raven's toned buttocks that looked amazing in those revealing cheeky cut orange bikini bottom as she was going up the swimming pool ladder, and then proceeded to gaze at Raven's firm legs, feeling her mouth becoming dry, watching the drops of water going down her wet skin.

Raven turned around and their eyes met, making the situation a bit awkward, so Octavia just waved at her before she located Clarke and tried to avoid staring at the hot Latina for too long.

Clarke was too concentrated on her book and she only noticed Octavia when she was standing directly above her, making a shadow with her body.

"Oh hey, you made it!" she said, smiling at her friend as she closed the book and left it on the ground.

"Yeah, I went out for a run and decided to come directly here," Octavia replied as Raven approached them.

"Why don't you hop in the pool to cool off?" Raven lifted her eyebrow and looked at Octavia.

"Stop trying to get me out of my clothes, Raven, you're too obvious," she served her a witty comeback.

Raven laughed and was getting ready to engage in a new fray with Octavia when Clarke interfered.

"Alright, alright, let's not start, please..." she pleaded. "I thought you called a truce a while ago, let's not ruin that, what do you say?"

"Ok, but this is temporary, just until we come back from Paris," Raven conceded reluctantly and offered her hand to Octavia. "Deal?"

"Fine. Deal," Octavia shook Raven's hand with a sharp look in her eyes.

Clarke rolled her eyes and suggested they all go up to the apartment to have something to drink.

Eva arrived soon after that and they were all having drinks and some tapas on the balcony overlooking the sea.

At one point Raven went to the bathroom, leaving her phone on the table which started vibrating, interrupting the conversation between Octavia, Clarke and Eva. Octavia happened to see the name that appeared on the screen, since she was the one sitting the closest.

"Who is it?" Clarke was curious.

"It says Diego," Octavia replied.

That's when Raven joined back the group and felt all eyes on her.

"What?" she asked, looking at them with interest.

"Your boyfriend misses you," Eva was quick to make fun of her.

Raven noticed the notification light on her phone, so she took it and opened the message, then quickly blocked the screen without replying.

"Definitely not my boyfriend," she finally responded, taking a sip of her beer.

"Is that the guy from _Tinder_ who took you to frozen yogurt?" Clarke inquired.

"Uh huh," Raven confirmed, showing no emotions whatsoever.

"I thought the date went great... Are you going to see him again?" Clarke continued.

"I don't know, Clarke... right now I'm trying to focus on our trip and on all the women that are going to be drooling over our dear Heda at the convention... until they see me, of course," she grinned. "Then I'll pick one of them and make sweet _l'amour_ to her all night long... or maybe even _ménage à trois.__"_

"So, out of all the French words I've been teaching you for the last two months, these are the ones you chose to remember?" Clarke started laughing, shaking her head.

"The most important ones!" she replied winking and raising her beer to touch Clarke's, both taking a sip afterwards.

"See, there's something I don't get about you bisexuals," Eva interfered. "Can you honestly say that it's 50/50 for you? You feel the exact amount of desire for men as for women? I think in the end there's always one of the sexes that attracts you more and you're maybe just bi-curious."

"Well, Eva... First of all, I consider myself pansexual, which means I am attracted to human beings, regardless of their gender or sexual identity," Raven explained calmly. "And second of all, I suppose it is different for everyone and there is no way you can actually measure the percentage of desire you feel for another human being... Plus, it's not the gender that makes me want someone, it's so much more that that... their energy, their way of thinking, the way they move, smell, walk, talk, touch, kiss, fuck, etc..."

"I agree, it's so much more than that," Clarke joined the conversation. "If all people were pansexual there would be no hate, no discrimination... only love... I would definitely be one if the penis didn't make me physically sick."

"Oh my God, I'll never forget the story of how you puked the first time you touched your ex boyfriend's ding dong," Octavia started laughing remembering Clarke's awful experience and everyone joined her.

"I'm so happy that the only ding dongs I've ever touched are the ones in which I had to insert a urinary catheter during practise," Eva added.

"Ew... that's gross," Octavia expressed her disgust. "Oh, by the way Raven, if you're going to be making all that French love on Sunday, where's Clarke supposed to go? Or do you have separate rooms in the hotel?"

"Oh, I've got that covered, Clarke's going to seduce Lexa Woods and spend the night in her hotel room," Raven answered looking completely serious.

Clarke almost choked when she heard her roommate's 'plan' and spat out some of the beer she was drinking.

"Sure, no problem," she said ironically after wiping her mouth with he back of her hand. "It's a good thing I shaved today."

"Babe, I know you've got a crush on her, but joke aside... that woman is 100% straight," Eva commented.

"Well, so is spaghetti until it gets wet," Clarke was quick to reply and everyone laughed.

"Again with the labels," Raven interrupted. "You can't be certain about anything anymore. Plus, Clarke is a magnet for 'straight' women," she added making quotation marks with her fingers.

"Alright, alright, here it is... if my gaydar is wrong and it turns out that your precious Lexa is queer and wants to spend the night with you, you have my blessing to go for it," Eva said looking at her girlfriend.

Everyone looked at Clarke, waiting for her reaction. She just gently put down her beer on the table and contemplated for a second before answering.

"Thanks, babe," she finally replied and kissed Eva on the lips. "Just don't expect me to share any details with any of you... I'd probably have to sign a non-disclosure agreement or something like that."

After a few more humorous remarks, they all laughed at the hypothetical situations they created, until Octavia announced that it was time for her to go home, so Clarke stood up to escort her friend to the door.

"I should be leaving too..." Eva had the same idea, so she stood up and went to the living room to join them.

"What? I thought you'd be sleeping with me tonight, it's Friday..." Clarke was surprised by her girlfriend's intention to leave.

"I know, babe, but did you forget that I have a 24-hour shift tomorrow?" she tried to calm Clarke down and put her hands around her waist.

"You could go directly from here, you know?" Clarke insisted, locking her hands behind Eva's neck and slightly tilting her head. "Also... it's been a while since the last time we had sex... I'm really turned on... and I want you tonight," she whispered seductively in Eva's ear.

"Khm..." Octavia cleared her throat to get the couple's attention. "Clarke, Raven, have a great trip to Paris and I want to hear all about it when you get back!"

Clarke moved away from her girlfriend and gave Octavia a hug, then walked with her to the door. Raven was still at the balcony, so she just waved at her and continued scrolling on her phone.

When Clarke went back to the living room, Eva was picking up her car keys from the coffee table and getting ready to leave.

"Seriously, Eva? You're not even going to consider staying?" Clarke raised her voice demanding an answer from her girlfriend.

"Babe, come on, it's only a few days... We can see each other on Monday evening..." she tried to amend the situation and reached for Clarke's hand. "I'm really tired, tomorrow I have to work all day and I'm on my period..."

"Well, I'm not!" Clarke yelled and removed her hand from her girlfriend's grip. "Damn it, Eva, sometimes you can be so selfish!"

Eva opened her eyes widely with a look of disbelief slowly crossing her face, not knowing exactly what to say.

"You know what?" Clarke continued. "You're right, you should leave. I can't even look at you right now."

She turned away from Eva and walked to the front door, opened it and then waited for her girlfriend to leave the apartment.

Eva shook her head and got to where Clarke was standing, there she stopped and looked at her in the eyes.

"Well, I hope you get your period soon, because this hormonal outburst was totally unnecessary, Clarke..." she said in a condescending tone before walking out of the apartment.

Clarke opened her mouth, shocked by Eva's rude comment, which was nothing else but another attempt to put the blame on her, something she always did when they were fighting. And Clarke would usually let herself be convinced that it had been her fault and that she should've been more patient with Eva, who always told her that not everything can be exactly the way she imagined it and that she should have had more tolerance for Eva's point of view.

But this time she just slammed the door, feeling angry and fed up, and went back to the balcony to join Raven who was waiting for her rommmate to explain what had just happened.

"Don't say it," she said and took a sip of her beer while looking at Raven. "I'll just have to play with Hercules tonight and I'll be as good as new tomorrow, I promise."

"There isn't a problem an orgasm can't solve," Raven laughed and raised her beer.

"To orgasms!" Clarke joined her in a toast.

"So, have you named your new toy yet? Your birthday gift from Octavia?"

"No... I only took it out of the box once, trying to convince Eva to use it, which she declined, of course, so now it's just sitting there in my drawer next to Hercules."

"That's a shame... Clarke, I know I shouldn't say this, but... maybe it's time you took a deeper look into your relationship with Eva and be honest with yourself."

"I know, Ray... I've been thinking about it lately..." she confessed. "A lot, actually... And after tonight I just... I don't know... I'll deal with it when we come back, I promise. Now I just want to enjoy this moment with my best friend who made one of my biggest dreams come true! Here's to Paris!" Clarke smiled and raised her bottle of beer.

"Yes, girl! To Paris!" Raven joined her instantly. 

* * *

_Saturday, July 13, 2019_

After two and a half hour flight, the two friends arrived to the Airport Paris Beauvais in France. They had decided to rent a car, because their hotel was at a 75km distance from the airport and they would've needed one hour and fifteen minutes to get to the centre with the shuttle bus, and then another hour in the subway to get to their hotel, which was in the Roissy-en-France area, 20km from the centre.

The roommates had chosen to stay there, because it was very close to where the convention was going to take place and it was one of the few hotels that had a secured parking.

They went to the rental car agency that was right next to the arrivals terminal to pick up the car they had reserved. Clarke was doing all the talking, because Raven didn't speak French, but she perceived the confusion in Clarke's look when the receptionist was asking her something.

"What do you mean a SUV or a minivan? I thought we had reserved a small car, a Fiat 500?"

"Yes, miss, but we're currently out of those and the only ones left are these two... it will still be the same price, don't worry," the employee clarified.

"Oh... well, I suppose we'll take the SUV then," Clarke agreed after explaining the situation to Raven, who got very excited when she saw the car she'd be driving.

"Hell, yeah, Clarkie!" she was thrilled when she got inside the car behind the steering wheel.

It was a blue Renault Kadjar, a powerful and robust car with an advanced multimedia technology, navigation system, parking assistance with a camera in the rear, and a lot more gadgets that Raven was eager to discover.

After a one hour drive, they arrived at the hotel at around 1 pm, checked in and then went to the train station nearby, Gare du Parc des Expositions. They took a train to the centre, where they had lunch and after that they spent the day sightseeing around Paris.

Both of them had been there before separately, but this time it was special because they could enjoy the enchantment of the city together. Also the weather was not as hot as predicted, it was actually somewhat windy and definitely not as hot as in Marbella.

Clarke was having so much fun that she had completely forgotten about the fight she had with Eva the night before. It was only in the evening, when they got back to the hotel, that she saw she had received a text message from her girlfriend on WhatsApp.

** _Text message_ **

_From: Eva_  
"Hey, babe... I saw your Instagram story, looks like you're having fun. I miss you."

_From: Clarke_  
"Hey. Yes, we just got back to the hotel. I'm gonna shower and go to bed soon. How's work?"

_From: Eva_  
"It was busy in the morning, but it's fine now, I might actually get some sleep tonight. Could you send me a selfie, please? I want to look at your face before I fall asleep."

Clarke put a bit of a forced smile on her face, took a photo of herself and sent it to Eva. The next message from her girlfriend arrived almost instantly and she had sent her a selfie as well.

_From: Eva  
_"😍 😍 😍 😍 😍 😍 😍 😍 Gorgeous!  
I know you're still mad at me... but maybe if you see my sad face, you'll remember how much you love me?"

Clarke looked at Eva's selfie and for a moment she recognized the sweet person she fell in love with, and she started wondering when they had started to drift apart, so much that she hadn't thought about her girlfriend at all since she had arrived to Paris.

_From: Clarke_  
"I am mad... but your face is definitely soothing. We'll talk tomorrow... Goodnight, Eva 😘"

_From: Eva_  
"I call that a progress. 😉 Goodnight, Clarke 😘"

It was not the first time Eva was being sweet after a fight. It always started like that, with kind and flattery words, seeming remorseful, but without actually saying she was sorry. And in the end she would always make it look like it was more Clarke's fault than hers.

This time Clarke wasn't going to give in that easily, in fact, she had promised herself that she would talk to her girlfriend as soon as she would come back home and she would suggest that both of them take some time to think about their relationship and if there's a future for them as a couple.


	4. Starstruck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Raven finally meet Lexa. Clarke is overwhelmed by the whole situation and it is not at all the way she had imagined it would be.

"Are you texting Eva?" Raven asked.

"Yes... I feel weird, Ray... I didn't think about her at all today," Clarke answered with a distraught look on her face as she sat on the bed.

"You know what they say... sometimes you need to spend some time away from someone in order to get in touch with your true feelings towards them..." Raven shrugged. "Can you honestly say that you wish she was here right now?"

Clarke lowered her eyes to her lap, she simply didn't have an answer for her friend. The only thing she knew was that she was feeling empty and she had been feeling like that for quite some time.

The sound of a new text message on WhatsApp and the light on the phone interrupted her thoughts, so she picked it up and smiled when she saw the name on the screen.

"Eva?" Raven inquired.

"No... It's Octavia," Clarke answered and then read the message out loud.

** _Text message_ **

_From: Octavia_  
"What's up, mademoiselles? 😛 Are you excited about tomorrow? Send me some photos, I want to see what you've been doing! 😘"

_From: Clarke_  
"Bonsoir, mon amie! 😎 I don't think I will be able to sleep tonight, to be honest. I still can't believe I'll be meeting her tomorrow! Paris is lovely, btw... and Raven sends greetings from Moulin Rouge."

She sent her a short video of Raven from earlier that evening when they visited Moulin Rouge.

_From: Octavia_  
"Are you there right now?? So jealous!! Next time I'm coming with you."

_From: Clarke_  
"No, we're at the hotel, getting ready to go to bed. I wish you were here, girl – you could've been posing like this next to Raven."

Clarke sent Octavia a photo of Raven posing in front of the Eiffel Tour.

_From: Octavia_  
"Haha nah, I wouldn't want to steal her thunder 😛 Have fun tomorrow, I'll talk to you after, if you survive 😆 Goodnight! 😘"

_From: Clarke_  
"No pressure, right 😛 Tnx, talk to you tomorrow, goodnight 😘"

Clarke plugged in her phone to charge overnight and went to the bathroom to take a shower. In that moment Raven received a text message that put a huge smile on her face.

** _Text message_ **

_From: Octavia_  
"You're quite the model, Reyes 😉"

_From: Raven_  
"Stalking much? 😛"

_From: Octavia_  
"You wish! 😎 Clarke sent me some photos."

_From: Raven_  
"So you miss me so much that you had to beg Clarke to send you photos, just so you could see my face? Awwww so cute ❤️"

_From: Octavia_  
"Who says I was looking at your face? 😏"

_From: Raven_  
"Hmm... what were you looking at, Ms. Romero? 😏"

_From: Octavia_  
"The Eiffel Tower, duuuh 😆😆"

_From: Raven_  
"Auch! 😔 But... well played!"

_From: Octavia_  
"Boo hoo! Did your ego get hurt? 😝"

Raven received a selfie of Octavia who was pouting her lips and faking a sad face, laying next to her pet, a big brown Bordeaux dog.

_From: Raven_  
"Awww look at that face, so cute! ❤️And yours is not so bad either 😝 About my ego... All I have to do is think about how you were checking me out by the pool yesterday and it's immediately through the roof 😉"

_From: Octavia_  
"1:1  
Goodnight, Raven 😊"

_From: Raven_  
"Goodnight, Octavia 😊"

* * *

_Sunday, July 14, 2019_

Clarke had set the alarm at 8:30 am, but the light coming in from the window woke her up half an hour earlier, which could not be said for Raven who was deeply asleep.

It wasn't sunny, in fact the sky was clouded and she could see the branches moving because of the wind. Clarke was doubting for a second if she should wake up her roommate, but went to the bathroom instead and started getting ready for the convention.

She opted for a casual grey t-shirt and slim fit dark jeans, combined with beige low top Converse All Star shoes and black jacket.

After a while, Raven woke up and as soon as she got ready, they went to the ground floor to have breakfast.

Clarke was becoming more nervous as time went by, but remembered to take the present she had prepared for her favourite actress and also the white rose she had bought for her the day before.

The roommates took the car and drove the two and a half kilometers distance to the Paris Marriott Charles de Gaulle Airport Hotel where the event was taking place. They arrived at around 9:30 am and after parking the car, they went to the hotel lobby where they saw a group of young women on the right, waiting in line.

"Look, one of them is wearing Heda cosplay!" Raven exclaimed excitedly, approaching the group.

They stood in line for a while, then they entered a hallway on the left where there were people from the organization giving out the reserved extras, as well as convention wristbands and lanyards.

Later, they entered a spacious hall with some living room chairs on the sides, occupied by the women and few men attending the event, waiting for it to start.

On the left, they located the conference hall and when they entered, they saw a stage with six chairs on it and some of the fans who were already seated, anxious to see the stars of the show.

Clarke and Raven searched for the zone indicated on their pass and took a seat.

Fifteen minutes later, everyone was inside and the presenter started announcing the guests.

"Ladies and gentleman, I present to you our beloved guests who came all the way from The United States just for you... Let's give a big round of applause for... Harper McIntyre, Finn Collins, Niylah Green, Charles Pike and our Heda... Lexa Woods!"

The crowd was chanting loudly, everyone was on their feet, applauding and screaming as the actors were coming out to the stage.

Clarke's heart started racing the moment she heard Lexa's name and she could feel it in her throat when she first laid eyes on that stunning woman who was smiling and waving at the crowd as she took her seat on stage. Clarke felt hypnotized and wasn't able to look away, her eyes went up and down Lexa's alluring figure, appreciating her long legs, and then she focused on her luscious lips, thinking about how it would feel to taste them.

Lexa was wearing a white, loose but short t-shirt which exposed her toned abdomen and a bit of her navel, combined with high waist light blue jeans and heeled beige sandals.

After the crowd calmed down, they started with the questions from the audience and hearing Lexa's Australian accent and her soft voice warmed up Clarke's heart, making her feel closer to home.

She was answering a fan's question about the changes in her life since she had become famous, the good and the bad ones.

"Well, the thing is I don't consider myself famous, to be honest... It's just that in my head when someone says the word _famous, _I think of, let's say Leonardo DiCaprio... not me," she smiled. "Of course, with the success of our show, there are more and more people who recognize me and know about my work, but I can still go around L.A. without being followed by paparazzi, which I'm very grateful for, by the way... I really like the level of fame I'm experiencing at the moment, I love what I do and I get to attend events like these and meet you all... I just feel blessed knowing that you like our work and I really appreciate your support. And at the same time I can go to Australia and people wouldn't recognize me all, it has happened maybe once or twice that someone asked if I'm the commander on that post-apocalyptic show on Netflix..."

The presenter started translating the actors' answers and Clarke couldn't believe how humble and honest Lexa seemed to be, feeling more attracted to her by the minute and she suddenly had the urge to know more about her.

What wouldn't she give to spend some time with her alone and just talk about everything for hours...

She was looking at Lexa, who seemed to be deep in her thoughts, with her eyes locked on something without actually looking at anything.

Clarke was extremely intrigued by this incredible young woman who had achieved so much at such an early age, yet seemed to have both feet firmly on the ground with radiant simplicity shining through her, giving her that special something.

The panel went on for another half an hour, so when it was over the actors left the Conference Hall and the organizers announced the schedule for the photoshoot sessions and the selfies.

While they were waiting to be called, Clarke and Raven stayed in their seats and watched the game of charades on stage, where two couples had to act out scenes from a random TV show and if someone from the audience guessed it, they'd all get a reward.

After a while, it was time for Clarke's selfie with Lexa, so she went down the hall to the room which was assigned for that. She left the rose and the presents with Raven, because it was not allowed to give anything to the actors at any point except during the autographs. Then she walked into the room and there were 5 people in the line before her, but she could already see Lexa taking a photo with a fan in front of a violet photography backdrop screen.

Clarke's heart rate was increasing as she was getting closer and it became dangerously high when there were only two people left in front of her and suddenly Lexa's eyes found Clarke's.

She froze the moment she felt those piercing green eyes on her, not really processing the reality of the situation. The eye contact lasted for about 5 seconds, but to her it felt like an eternity and it was interrupted by the next person in line who approached Lexa and gave her a hug.

Clarke tried to calm herself down, thinking that it must've been a pure coincidence and her brain was probably playing games with her, making her think that it was an actual eye contact with the most exquisite woman she had ever seen.

And then it happened again.

Lexa was definitely looking at her and she wasn't even trying to hide it. Same as before, she looked away to face the next fan in line and took a photo with them.

Finally it was Clarke's turn and she started walking towards Lexa, struggling to hide the nervousness she felt when she stood directly in front of her.

"Hi!" Lexa greeted Clarke with a smile on her face, without taking her eyes off of her.

"Hi..." Clarke managed to say, surprised that she was able to produce any sound at all.

She could feel her cheeks burning, but at the same time her hands were cold as ice and her knees felt weak. It was the first time she had experienced something like this, she was usually well aware and also proud of her easiness around attractive women.

Clarke was not a shy person, in fact it had never been hard for her to approach her object of desire and turn on her charm.

But this time, it was different.

So she just stood there, looking at Lexa without saying a word.

"Should we..." Lexa decided to ask if they should proceed to taking the selfie and she showed to Clarke's phone which she was holding tight in her hand.

Clarke followed Lexa's eyes and looked at her own hand and then again at Lexa who was smiling as if she found Clarke's confused state amusing.

"Oh, sorry, yes..." she replied. "It's just that I've never done this before, sorry..."

"You've never taken a selfie?" Lexa teased her.

"No. I mean, yes... I have. But... you... and..." Clarke was becoming more befuddled by the minute with a serious look on her face.

"It's ok, I was joking," Lexa laughed. "Here, let me..." she said and reached for Clarke's phone, which she gave to her after unlocking it with her fingerprint. "Australian accent, right?" Lexa asked as she was taking Clarke's phone.

"What's left of it," Clarke replied, sounding a bit more relaxed.

"Do you live here, in France?"

"In Spain, actually... I came here to see you... I mean, for the convention," Clarke was blushing again.

Lexa put on a soft smile on her face, lifted her arm and pointed the front camera towards them.

"Here we go," she said as she put her left arm around Clarke.

Clarke reacted quickly by getting closer to Lexa and putting her right arm around her waist, feeling her warm skin under her cold fingertips.

The combination of Lexa's soft skin and her intoxicating scent provoked a tingling inside Clarke's body, starting in her chest, lowering to her stomach and finding its way to her lower abdomen and between her legs.

Lexa's body had the exact same reaction in addition to the goose bumps all over her skin.

Lexa took the photo and gave the phone back to Clarke, their hands touching for a second in the process, giving them both the now familiar electric sensation inside their bodies.

"I'm sorry about my hands, they're never this cold..." Clarke apologized after noticing the goose bumps on Lexa's skin.

"Oh, no, it actually felt good," she responded instantly and felt her cheeks flushing when she realized she had just admitted enjoying having her fan's hands on her body.

Clarke looked at her, now almost completely relaxed, especially after noticing the blush on Lexa's cheeks, reminding herself that she's also only human and experiences the same emotions as anybody else.

"Thank you," Clarke smiled and took a step back getting ready to leave.

_"Merci_," Lexa replied. "Oh, I guess it's _gracias_ for you," she added and winked at her.

Another fan approached her as Clarke was walking away with a feeling of yearning for Lexa's touch, while her brain was playing flashbacks of their encounter, focusing on her voluminous lips and the intensity of her green eyes.

Lexa turned her head to the left while she was waiting for her fan to prepare for the photo, and took a glance at the blonde Australian who managed to captivate her in such short time. She saw her walking away and suddenly got an inexplicable feeling of a longing, wishing she could spend more time with her.

By the time Clarke turned around to take another look at Lexa, she was already smiling at the fan's camera while taking the photo.

The blonde left the room and went in the direction of the conference hall with the intention of finding Raven. It didn't take long to locate her leaning on the wall next to the entrance of the conference hall, talking to a young woman, probably in her early 20s, with short light-brown hair, black t-shirt and camouflage pants. They were smiling at each other while she was holding Raven's phone in her hands, which she gave back to her after writing something in it, probably her phone number.

Clarke waited for a minute and then approached Raven when she saw that the other woman was walking away.

"I leave you alone for five minutes and you already scored a phone number!" Clarke said playfully and put her hand on Raven's shoulder. "You're my role model, seriously."

"Oh, shut up," Raven started laughing and removed Clarke's hand from her shoulder. "And don't touch me, they're gonna think we're together," she said as she looked around to make sure no one was looking.

"Sorry, I almost cock-blocked you," Clarke was amused by Raven's reaction.

"Ha ha, very funny," she said sarcastically. "Hey, why are you back so soon? Did you meet her? What happened? Let me see the selfie!"

"Oh my God, Rey... don't remind me... I made a complete fool of myself," she complained as she gave her unlocked phone to Raven and then covered her face with her hands. "I froze and couldn't say a word to her... she even had to take the photo because my hands were shaking... I'm sure she noticed... It's like I had no control over my body, I couldn't even smile because my jaw was so tense and I'm sure I would've creeped her out even more if I did..."

"Wow! You look so good together, Clarke..." Raven interrupted her. "Seriously, I'd pay good money to see the two of you make out."

"I can assure you that's very unlikely to happen, Rey... She probably thinks I'm creepy, staring at her like that..."

"Well, she looks pretty relaxed in the photo, smiling and all..."

"And that's another proof of her excellent acting skills."

Soon after, someone announced that they will be proceeding with the photoshoots for zone VIP, 1 and 2, so Raven and Clarke started walking back to the same room where Clarke had her encounter with Lexa. They were waiting in line for a little while and then they got close enough to see Lexa posing with a fan in front of the photographer.

"Wow, Clarke... she's gorgeous! No wonder you froze!" Raven whispered in her roommate's ear.

"She's a goddess..." Clarke replied feeling completely mesmerized while looking at Lexa.

Lexa finished the photoshoot with the fan and couldn't believe her eyes when she looked down the line – there she was, the blond Australian who piqued her interest.

Their eyes met and Lexa gave her a subtle smile, which caught Clarke by surprise but was still able to respond in the same manner.

"Oh my God, Clarke... she's looking at you..." Raven whispered.

Couple of seconds later, Lexa noticed Raven and the smile vanished from her face. "Of course she has a girlfriend", she thought. It was disappointing, although she wasn't sure why, after all it was just an attractive fan who had come to the convention because she liked her work.

Why did she feel upset upon seeing her with someone by her side?

Lexa needed to shake off those thoughts, so she did what she knew best – putting a smile on her face, she continued with the photoshoot.

After a few minutes it was the roommates' turn, so they approached the actress who welcomed them with a smile.

"Hello again," she said, looking at Clarke.

"Hello," Clarke smiled timidly.

"Hi, Lexa..." Raven joined them. "I just wanted to say I'm a huge fan! You are amazing!"

"Oh, thank you! It means a lot," Lexa was touched by Raven's enthusiasm. "How would you like to do the photo?"

"Well, we were thinking we could do the Charlie's angels pose, if you don't mind? With you in the middle?" Raven suggested.

"Yeah, sure!"

While the two of them were talking, Clarke was concentrated on Lexa's silky skin and dreamy eyes, thinking about how much she would like to touch her. Every time Lexa's eyes met hers she felt her heart skip a beat, it was something she couldn't control.

When the three of them were in their positions, the photographer took the photo.

"Thank you, Lexa!" Raven exclaimed and hugged her.

Lexa laughed while hugging Raven back and she looked at Clarke, who was standing behind Raven.

"Thank you... I appreciate your support," she said to the both of them once they stopped hugging. "And you make a very cute couple..."

Raven and Clarke looked at each other with confusion written all over their faces, which was followed by a loud laughter.

Lexa looked at them and raised her eyebrows, waiting for an explanation for their fans' reaction.

"We're not together," Clarke clarified. "We're more like sisters."

"Yeah, that'd be gross," Raven said once she had stopped laughing. "We're just two single queer friends who happen to be your biggest fans," she finished and winked at Lexa.

For some reason Lexa felt relieved after learning that they were not a couple and especially when the Latina mentioned that they were both single.

Clarke turned to Raven due to the shock she felt when she heard her roommate referring to her as single and then put her attention back on Lexa when she heard her soft voice.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I just assumed..." she apologized with a vibrant smile on her face. "Thank you again for your support."

There it was, that awkward moment again, where Clarke and Lexa were just staring at each other, wishing the circumstances were different and they could just get out of there to spend the day together. And the night, too. And more, so much more. That feeling of being simply drawn to each other was perplexing for the both of them and they had no idea what to do with it.

The moment was interrupted by one of the organizers who was asking Lexa if she was ready to continue with the photoshoot. She nodded and then looked at Clarke again, who was still standing in front of her, reluctant to take her eyes off the vision of perfection in front of her.

"See you later," Raven interrupted the 'staring contest' and Lexa turned her attention towards her with a puzzled look on her face.

"Later?" she asked.

"Yes, at the Meet and greet/Autograph session," Raven answered.

"Great! See you later, then..." Lexa was unable to hide the excitement in her eyes.

They walked out of the room and went to the big hall, where there was a table on which some of the developed photos from the photoshoot with the actors were being placed.

"You are one lucky girl, my friend! I can't believe my own eyes!" Raven almost screamed once they were in the hall, while grabbing Clarke's shoulders to face her. "You two are totally into each other, oh my God, oh my God!"

"Raven!!! Lower your voice," Clarke looked around and found a spot in the corner where they could have more privacy. "Come, let's go there," she started walking and Raven followed her.

"Clarke, you have to do something about it, you know that, right?"

"What are you talking about, Raven? Are you seriously suggesting that Lexa is interested in me? And what was all that about me being single?"

"Oh, come on, Clarke... you must've noticed the chemistry between the two of you, you were practically devouring each other with your eyes."

"Raven, don't put ideas in my head... It's already hard enough to stop thinking about her since the moment she spoke to me... and now you're saying you think she likes me?"

"I don't think that, I _know_ it! I'm never wrong about this kind of stuff."

"Ok, let's say you're right... where does that leave me? I'm with Eva, remember?" Clarke asked, raising her eyebrows.

"Are you, though? I mean, it's pretty obvious you were gonna break things off with her as soon as we got back to Marbella..."

"I never said that, Rey... I just said that I'm going to need some time to think things over, because what we have... it doesn't feel good lately."

"But this does, Clarke!" Raven insisted. "I see you looking at her and it's like you come alive, with sparkles in your eyes and everything... Don't you want to give it a chance? Are you going to pass on this for a relationship that's doomed anyway?"

"Rey... stop it. I don't want to talk about it," Clarke said firmly.

"Fine, fine..." Raven gave up and put her hands in the air as a sign of surrender. "Let's go grab something to eat and we'll be back at 2 pm, after the lunch break. The autographs session is in the afternoon anyway."

"There's a mall nearby, do you want to check it out? There are a lot of restaurants there, I checked."

"Sounds good. And Clarke... I'm sorry if I pushed you too hard, it's just that I want to see you happy again, you know?"

"I know, Ray... And I love you for it," Clarke smiled gently at her friend. "I'll figure this out, don't worry... Let's go get the car now, I'm starving."

They went to the hotel's reception to get their parking ticket validated and after getting their car, they drove to the mall to have lunch.

They had just finished eating when Clarke went to the toilet, leaving her roommate at the table in the restaurant. Raven waited until Clarke was no longer in sight and she quickly took out a piece of paper, wrote something on it, folded it and then put it in the back pocket of her jeans.

When Clarke returned, they decided to take a stroll inside the mall and ten minutes later they were on their way back to the convention.

The next panel started at 2 pm and all the actors were back on the stage, answering questions from the audience.

At around 4 pm, it was time for the Meet and greet/Autograph session with Lexa, so Raven and Clarke were already waiting in line.

Lexa on the other hand was sitting on a tall chair behind a table, meeting fans and signing autographs, but at the same time she was peeking impatiently in the direction of the entrance every now and then, eager to have those beautiful blue eyes in front of her again.

And then it finally happened – the blond Australian was approaching her with a white rose and big black envelope in her hands. She was so focused on her that she didn't even notice Raven standing next to Clarke.

"We're back!" Raven announced.

"Nice to see you again," Lexa welcomed them joyfully.

"Hi..." Clarke joined the conversation. "This is for you," she said as she gave the white rose to Lexa. "I'm sorry it's not as fresh as it was this morning, but at least it still smells nice..."

"Aw, thank you so much, it's lovely!" Lexa took the rose and leaned in to smell it. "Wow, it smells amazing."

"I'm glad you like it... Um... I also got you this, it's something I made for your upcoming birthday," Clarke handed her the envelope. "Oh, and I saw on your Instagram story that you were savagely attacked by some mosquitoes in Barcelona couple of days ago, so I've included a lotion you could use to relieve the itching and the discomfort."

"Oh my God, yes! Yes! That's exactly what I needed, thank you! How very thoughtful of you," Lexa exclaimed opening her eyes widely.

"You're welcome," Clarke was pleasantly surprised by Lexa's reaction to the presents and got lost yet again in her deep green eyes.

"Khm..." Raven cleared her throat. "Clarke... the drawing."

"Oh, right..." Clarke snapped out of it. "Could you sign this, please?"

Lexa was astonished by the piece of art she was holding in her hands – it was a watercolor painting of Heda's eyes with the famous war paint around them.

"Wow... Did you do this?" she asked without taking her eyes of the painting.

"Yes..." Clarke nodded.

"It's... it's breathtaking," Lexa said as she looked at Clarke. "What would you like me to write?"

"Oh... I don't know... whatever you'd like."

"What's your name?"

"Clarke... with an 'e'."

Lexa smiled and started writing something on the paper.

"It was very nice meeting you, Clarke," she said after she signed the painting and handed it back to Clarke.

"The pleasure is all mine, Lexa... thank you."

They were looking at each other in silence until Clarke finally managed to move her feet and walked out of the room.

Raven saw that Lexa was watching the blonde walk away, so she quickly took out the piece of paper from her back pocket and put it directly in front of Lexa before leaving the room.

She saw Clarke standing in the hallway, looking at the painting, seeming pleased.

"What did she write?" Raven asked.

"To Clarke: May we meet again. ❤️ Lexa."

Raven looked at her and put her hand on Clarke's shoulder.

"Do you want to stay til the end?"

"No, Ray..." Clarke shook her head. "I think if I see her one more time, I'll go crazy... Let's go to the hotel, it's five o'clock already and the convention ends at six."

"Sure, let's go. I have to get ready for my date anyway."

"You have a date? With the girl I saw you talking to before?"

"Yup," Raven winked at Clarke and they walked to their car after they had their parking ticket validated at the reception.

Once they were at the hotel, they went to the cafeteria to have something to drink and about an hour later, they were in their room.

Raven was in the bathroom taking a shower, while Clarke was lying on her bed and looking at the selfie of her and Lexa. She felt desperate because she would've given anything to be in her presence again, but at the same time she felt stupid for even wishing that.

Suddenly, her thoughts were interrupted by an incoming message on WhatsApp.

She opened it and saw an unknown number.

**Text message**

_From: Unknown_  
"Hey, Clarke with an 'e' 😊 Thank you for the invitation, I'd like to meet up tonight if you're not too tired."

Clarke was confused, she had no memory of her inviting anyone anywhere and also she thought it was strange that whoever wrote this, used the same words she said to... "No... it can't be her," she thought and then she received another message.

**Text message**

_From: Unknown_  
"Oh, it's Lexa, btw."


	5. The Blonde Aussie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter we find out how Lexa got Clarke's number and we also get to see the situation from Lexa's perspective.

_Sunday, July 14, 2019, 5 pm_

_Paris Marriott Charles de Gaulle Airport Hotel_

"The pleasure is all mine, Lexa... thank you."

They were looking at each other in silence until Clarke finally managed to move her feet and walked out of the room.

Lexa was unable to look away, her eyes followed Clarke as she was leaving the room, unwittingly inspecting her behind that looked quite appealing in those slim fit dark jeans.

"Bye, Lexa!" Raven spoke, interrupting Lexa's appreciation of Clarke's voluptuous body.

"Bye, thank you so much for coming!" she smiled at Raven.

She then turned to her left and greeted the fan who was waiting to get her autograph. They gave her an action figure of Heda and when she wanted to pick up the marker pen to sign it, she noticed a piece of folded paper underneath the pen and the words 'Read me' written on the front side.

Lexa signed the action figure, thanked them for being fans of the show and once they moved towards the exit, the curiosity compelled her to quickly open the folded paper before meeting her next fan.

It said: 'In case you'd like to hang out after the convention' and there was a phone number in continuation, signed by 'The blonde Aussie'.

A feeling of unbridled joy overcame Lexa once she realized that Clarke had left her the note, which meant the feelings were mutual and she wanted to see her again as well.

Lexa hastily folded the paper in its original condition, put it in the back pocket of her jeans and greeted the next fan in line.

What was left of the session felt like an eternity, she was desperately trying not to think about the possibility of meeting the blonde Australian that same evening and spending time with her. That was something she had been craving for since the moment she had laid eyes on her.

Lexa was in a great mood and was being extremely nice to all the people she met at the Meet&Greet/Autograph session, but in the back of her mind she only saw Clarke's face and the note she wrote.

It was almost 6 pm and Lexa was back on stage with the other actors in the Conference Hall to say goodbye to all the fans that participated in the event.

Everyone was on their feet, applauding and chanting, throwing balloons in the air and she couldn't help but wonder if she could locate Clarke in the audience. She looked around, hoping to see her face but was interrupted by the presenter who asked the guests to give their final words to the audience as the event was coming to an end.

About fifteen minutes later, Lexa was in her hotel room, sitting on her bed next to a pile of presents from her fans and she was opening the black envelope that Clarke had given her during the Meet&Greet/Autograph session.

She took out a piece of paper, size A4 and once again felt overwhelmed by Clarke's talent – it was another painting of Heda's eyes, similar to the one she had signed. In the bottom she read the words "Love is not a weakness" in an artistic font and signed by Clarke. Next, she found the lotion she had mentioned that was to be used to help calm the skin irritation after the mosquito bites and in the end she took out another piece of paper with something typed on it:

_Dear Lexa,_

_I feel a bit weird writing this to you, it is actually my first fan letter, but I've decided to do it, because I believe you deserve to know the impact you've had on not just me, but on everyone who's seen the show... especially the LGBTQ+ community. _   
_Growing up, while I was trying to make sense of the attraction I felt to the same gender, it would've meant so much to have had the opportunity to relate to someone like Heda. Even though she's a fictional character, she's had a great influence on how people perceive same sex love and it's very important that the queer community is represented on television, especially in main roles.   
The way you portray Heda has captivated me since the beginning and I am in awe of your talent and grace. You have become an icon and I'm grateful that you've taken upon this project. Your interpretation is impeccable and I'd like to congratulate you on your successful career and I wish you would achieve everything you've ever dreamed of, surrounded by people who are worth your while._

_Clarke_

_P.S. The original idea was to give you a handwritten letter, because I believe it's more personal and from the heart, but I'm afraid my doctor's handwriting would've made it very difficult for you to read it... so I typed it instead. _

_P.P.S. I apologize in the name of Spain for the mosquitoes who savagely attacked your legs in Barcelona... although I can't really blame them for their good taste... Luckiest mosquitoes ever! I hope the lotion helps :) _

Lexa laughed out loud as she read the letter and then took the folded piece of paper that contained Clarke's phone number. She saved the contact information in her phone and opened WhatsApp to see if she is online. After looking through her contacts, she finally stopped at Clarke's profile picture.

"Oh God, she's gorgeous," she thought, feeling her heart rate increasing while she was concentrating on Clarke's ocean blue eyes and long eyelashes.

She opened the chat and started writing, becoming nervous and excited at the same time. She had never done anything like this before and had no explanation for the sudden interest she felt for this particular person.

It wasn't just that the blonde was stunning, it was so much more than that, which was illogical, because she didn't know her at all, yet being around her felt so familiar and, nonetheless thrilling.

**Text message**

_From: Lexa_  
"Hey, Clarke with an 'e' 😊 Thank you for the invitation, I'd like to meet up tonight if you're not too tired."

She sent the message almost shaking of excitement and saw Clarke's status turn _online_ and then the ticks turned blue, which meant Clarke read the message.

The seconds turned into a minute and she realized she hadn't signed her name at the end of the message and she wasn't sure Clarke could recognize her, because her profile picture was taken from a distance and she wasn't looking at the camera.

_From: Lexa_  
"Oh, it's Lexa, btw."

* * *

_Sunday, July 14, 2019, 6:14 pm_

_Hotel F1 Roissy Airport Paris_

Clarke dropped her phone on the bed, feeling her heart in her throat, wondering if she was losing her mind, because there was no way this could be happening.

How could've Lexa gotten her phone number?

"It must be some kind of joke," she thought. This had Raven written all over it.

In that moment her roommate came out of the bathroom and found Clarke with her hands on her hand, looking at the phone on the bed.

"Clarke? Are you ok?"

"Raven! What did you do?" Clarke faced Raven and demanded answers looking pale and serious at the same time.

"What? What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about this," she took the phone and showed the message to Raven. "Who is this? What kind of joke is this?"

"Oh my God, it's her," Raven opened her mouth in surprise. "Clarke, it's Lexa, I swear."

"What? How is that possible?"

"I... I gave her your number," Clarke was going to ask more questions, but Raven continued. "After she signed your painting, she was watching you walk away, so I left a note on the table in front of her that said: 'In case you'd like to hang out after the convention' and I wrote down your number and signed your name... actually I signed you as The blonde Aussie..."

Clarke was speechless. She was looking at Raven in disbelief, trying to make sense of her words.

_"_Clarke, wake up!" Raven shook her. "You have to write back, you already opened the messages. She thinks **_you_** left her the note."

_"_And whose fault is that, Raven? I can't believe you did this... Omg... I can't believe she actually wrote!"

_"_I told you! She likes you, Clarke..." Raven was satisfied that she was right about the chemistry between the blonde and the brunette, while Clarke was just staring at the phone, unable to move. "Listen, Clarke... You don't have to do anything you don't want to do... but aren't you curious at all? I mean, you're not doing anything wrong if you spend a nice evening with your favorite actress and get to know her better... I mean, every person who attended the convention this weekend would kill for this opportunity."

_"_You know what? You're absolutely right! By some miracle she wants to see me again, and God knows I haven't stopped thinking about her... so, what the hell! Let's do this!" Clarke said with firmness and enthusiasm in her voice and started typing on her phone.

**Text message**

_From: Clarke_  
"Hey! So nice to hear from you 😊 And I am definitely not too tired to hang out with you. What are you in the mood for?"

_From: Lexa_  
"Great! 😊 Have you eaten yet? I'm starving 🤭 There's a nice restaurant overlooking the Eiffel Tower that I've been meaning to check out... I could make a reservation, hopefully it won't be too crowded since it's Bastille Day."

_From: Clarke_  
"Oh, right, that's today! I'm pretty hungry as well, actually 🤤 Should I meet you there? Text me the address?"

_From: Lexa_  
"I thought I could pick you up? I have the hotel driver at my disposal, so it really wouldn't be a problem at all."

_From: Clarke_  
"Fancy! 🤩 Well, in that case I'll text you the address of the hotel I'm staying at 😉 What time should I be expecting you?"

_From: Lexa_  
"Just some of the perks of being somewhat famous 😜 Is 8 pm alright?"

_From: Clarke_  
"So I see! 😎 Yes, it's perfect, see you then!" 

Clarke then sent her the hotel address and looked at Raven who had been waiting anxiously for her friend to stop texting.

She was startled when Clarke suddenly hugged her and started jumping up and down while screaming very close to her ear.

"Thank you, Raven..." she said once she had calmed down. "I mean it... I'm so happy, oh my God!"

"You're welcome," Raven accepted her friend's gratitude. "And I am happy for you, even if I'm now partially deaf, at least it was for a good purpose."

"You deserve it for almost giving me a heart attack with your little scam!" Clarke smiled. "Now, come on... help me get ready. What should I wear?"

Together they chose an outfit for Clarke and then she went to the bathroom to take a shower.

Raven took the car and went to meet her date, while Clarke finished doing her make up and five minutes before 8pm she was already on the sidewalk, outside the front gate of the hotel parking.

Not long after that, she saw a black SUV approaching and then it stopped directly in front of her. The tinted backseat window rolled down and the sight of Lexa taking off her sunglasses while smiling at her caused a now familiar reaction in Clarke's body - her heart skipped a beat as she was trying to remember how to breathe.


	6. And nothing else matters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the first part of Clarke and Lexa's night out. Clarke can't help but feel guilty about not telling Lexa about Eva and is not sure if sharing her relationship status with the actress is the best idea at the moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everyone! Thank you for reading and commenting, it's always nice to hear from you ❤️  
I will probably post the next chapter on Sunday, so I'm leaving two chapters with you today, number 5 and 6 and I hope you'll enjoy them 😊

Lexa's smile grew wider once she locked eyes with Clarke, who had the exact same reaction despite the nervousness she felt because of the anticipation.

The brunette hurried to open the door and stepped out of the car, so Clarke used the brief moment of the lost eye contact to take a quick but thorough look at Lexa from head to toes.

She was wearing ankle length light blue jeans, a slightly more elegant model than the ones she wore at the convention, and a fitted smocked white top with slim straps, completing the outfit with white high heel sandals.

Clarke's eyes were immediately drawn to Lexa's naked shoulders, admiring her accentuated collar bones and then moved south to her perfectly sized breasts, which is when she realized that Lexa wasn't wearing a bra and it provoked a tingling feeling in her lower abdomen. By the time she got to Lexa's abs, she could already feel the wetness between her legs expanding to her underwear, so she decided to look up and found Lexa's mesmerizing green eyes, looking directly at her again.

Lexa was standing in front of Clarke, fully aware of the blonde's wandering eyes all over her body, which she enjoyed very much while she was trying to find the right way to greet her.

Should she give her a hug? A kiss on the cheek, maybe?

Instead, she put her hands in the back pockets of her jeans.

"Hi, Clarke."

"Nice to see you again, Lexa..." she greeted her back with a genuine smile on her face.

"Shall we?" Lexa took her right hand out of her back pocket to hold the open car door for Clarke. "After you."

Clarke nodded and started walking towards the car and now it was Lexa who was feasting her eyes on the blonde's desirable body, starting at her copious breasts cooped up in a black bra she was able to see through her white shirt, tucked into short black pants that made her legs look extremely appealing. In addition to her outfit, she had put on the same black jacket she wore at the convention and white sandals that matched her shirt.

Finally, Lexa rested her eyes on Clarke's bottom as she was leaning forward to enter the car and she had to reach the highest level of self-control to fight the urge to put her hands all over Clarke and have her right there on the backseat of the car. Just the thought of that made her knees weak and her panties wet, so she quickly shook it off and entered the vehicle to sit next to Clarke.

The chauffeur started driving towards the restaurant and Clarke decided to break the ice by starting a conversation.

"So, how was the rest of the convention? Did you have to stay long?"

"Oh, not really, no. We were done before 6 pm, actually..." Lexa replied, now realizing why she couldn't locate Clarke in the audience at the end of the convention. "So, I take it you didn't stay after the Autograph session?"

"No, umm..." Clarke felt a bit embarrassed, because she unintentionally implied that she had left early, so now she had to think of an excuse to justify her actions. "We had to go because Raven was not feeling so well and needed to rest."

"Is that your friend who was there with you?"

"Yes, my best friend... And my roommate, actually."

"I really liked her energy," Lexa confessed. "I bet it's a lot of fun living with her."

"Oh, you have no idea," Clarke laughed and Lexa looked at her, thinking it was the cutest sound she had ever heard. "What about you? Do you have a _Raven_ in your life?"

"As in best friend, yes... roommate, not anymore..." Lexa answered. "When I first moved to LA I shared an apartment with my friend Marny, and then she went back to Australia, so I moved in with my friend Maia," she explained. "Recently I bought an apartment and moved out."

"How come she didn't come with you, if you don't mind me asking?"

"I don't mind at all," she smiled softly and Clarke's eyes went directly to Lexa's luscious lips, wishing she could feel them on hers right there and then. "She was getting pretty serious with her boyfriend and they were thinking about getting a place together anyway, so... I just made it easier for them."

"Then I guess it turned out for the best. Are you happy with your new place? Is it scary living alone in a big city like LA? Am I asking too many questions? God, I'm so sorry, you must be sick and tired of answering stupid questions, especially after the panel this weekend... and here I am bothering you and you're too nice to tell me to shut up..."

Clarke was visibly nervous, so Lexa grabbed her hand and she immediately stopped talking and turned her head to the brunette, who seemed to be anything but annoyed by Clarke and was looking at her with kindness in her eyes while holding her hand.

And there was that smile again, the one that had woken up so many feelings inside Clarke that she wasn't even aware she possessed.

"Clarke... You could never bother me," Lexa said looking at Clarke and still not letting go of her hand. "And your questions are not stupid at all... it's how people get to know each other," she could feel Clarke was starting to calm down so she let go of her hand. "As long as you don't ask me what my spirit animal is, we're good."

They both started laughing, because it was pretty much one of the most frequently asked questions on every panel in which Lexa had participated and frankly she was tired of repeating the same answer over and over again.

"Oh, don't worry, I would never ask anyone that," Clarke assured her, still laughing. "I mean, I'm not even sure what it means."

"Me neither," Lexa admitted. "I just say it's racoon because I know it's what everyone wants to hear."

"Definitely, yes..." Clarke agreed. "I've seen a lot of fan art and memes where you're portrayed as a racoon."

"Well, I suppose Heda with the war paint on does resemble it a little bit... But let me tell you, removing the make up after a long day of shooting is a real pain in the ass," Lexa complained. "I takes forever to take it off..."

"It's worth it, though..." Clarke said and Lexa looked at her. "It looks incredibly sexy on you," Clarke said it in a seductive tone that made her raspy voice sound erotic, while keeping the eye contact.

And the staring contest was on, yet again.

Lexa was pleasantly surprised by Clarke's forwardness and it was another confirmation that the attraction was definitely mutual and it was increasing by the second.

They felt the temperature in the car rising and they could swear they could detect each other's pheromones as if their vomeronasal organ hadn't atrophied. The feral desire was easy to read in their eyes and if Lexa had any doubt about Clarke wanting her, it vanished in the moment she saw her looking at her lips while licking her own, so Lexa decided it was time to give in to her desire and moved a bit closer to Clarke.

"What about now?" she leaned towards Clarke and looked her deep in her eyes that now had only a trace of that blue color that reminded her of the ocean. Her pupils were dilated and her breathing was heavy. "Do you find me sexy without the war paint?"

Clarke's mouth was dry, her heart was pounding fast in her chest and her whole body was aching to feel Lexa's hands all over her and to release the tension between her legs that had been building up since the moment she saw her get out of the car.

She bit her lower lip, noticing how Lexa's eyes followed her action and then leaned even closer.

"Extremely," she replied and saw Lexa's eyes fill up with lust as she cut the distance between them.

Their lips touched and Lexa put her right hand on Clarke's cheek and slid it over to her neck, pulling her even closer when she opened her mouth to receive Lexa's tongue.

Clarke knew at that exact moment that she could easily become addicted to her taste and warmth, it was indescribable the way the movements of Lexa's skilled tongue inside Clarke's mouth awoke every single nerve ending in her body, sending signals to her brain simultaneously and then back to her lower abdomen and between her legs, making her moan in the anticipation of Lexa's hand to eventually find its way there.

She positioned her left hand on Lexa's waist, which made her moan, and she could feel the goose bumps on the brunette's skin once again, but this time she knew it had nothing to do with her hands being cold.

Her whole body was burning up and so was Lexa's and their kissing was becoming more heated and their hands even more anxious to explore each other's bodies.

Suddenly their moment of passion was interrupted by a ringtone resonating from her purse and Lexa moved away gently from Clarke's lips, trying to catch her breath while still leaning with her forehead on Clarke's.

"Aren't you going to get that?" she asked between shallow breaths.

"Nah ah..." Clarke didn't want to move, her eyes were still closed and her hand was resting on Lexa's waist.

Lexa smiled and moved her hand from Clarke's neck to her cheek, giving her a gentle stroke with her thumb.

"What if it's something urgent?" she insisted. "Maybe Raven is feeling unwell again."

Clarke opened her eyes and found Lexa's. If someone would ask her to define perfection, it would definitely be that exact moment - the way Lexa was looking at her with passion, but also with kindness and something else she could not yet define, the sensation of Lexa's silky skin against her palm and her unique scent that was now engraved in her brain.

"Ughhhhh..." she groaned. "Raven's fine, I promise... But I'll check anyway, because she took the car to meet her date..."

Clarke removed her hand from Lexa's waist, took Lexa's hand that was resting on her cheek and kissed her long fingers before turning around to get the phone that had already stopped ringing.

Lexa turned to the other side to give Clarke some privacy to call back whomever was calling her.

Clarke took the phone out of her purse and felt her excitement disappear as soon as she saw the name on the screen.

**Missed call**   
_Eva_

It was strange, but she didn't feel guilty about kissing Lexa, not even now when she knew her girlfriend had actually called her during what was probably the most lustful moment of her life. Maybe it was because she was still majorly turned on or maybe because she had finally come to the overdue realization that Eva was not the one for her, not in the slightest.

Having experienced Lexa's full attention and interest in her and the way her body reacted to her touch, made her realize that she had been feeling unloved and undesired for longer than she could remember and she could no longer hide from the truth.

Clarke had no intention of calling back, so she simply opened WhatsApp and started typing.

**Text message**

_Clarke_  
"Hey, Eva. I'm out, can't talk. I'll call you tomorrow when we land... we need to talk."

_Eva_  
"We need to talk??? What's that supposed to mean?"

_Clarke_  
"I don't want to do this over the phone. We'll talk tomorrow."

_Eva_  
"What the fuck, Clarke???"

Clarke then proceeded to turn the silent mode on her phone and put it back in her purse. She turned to her right and saw that Lexa was looking out the window and she hadn't realized that Clarke had stopped texting.

"Hey," she said, trying to get her attention.

Lexa turned to her left and smiled at Clarke.

"All good?" she asked.

"Yes."

"So, Raven has a date as well? I take it she's feeling better, then?"

Hearing the words "as well" made Clarke feel warm and fuzzy inside, learning that Lexa thought of their evening together as a date. At the same time she felt enormous guilt for not telling her that she was technically still in a relationship with someone else back in Spain and even though she was decided to break things off the next day, she still didn't feel at ease with Lexa not knowing about it.

"She does, yes... she met a girl at the convention today," Clarke smiled, but only halfway, because she didn't feel comfortable lying to Lexa.

She took a deep breath and decided to tell the truth and bear the consequences, because she didn't want to start whatever this was with lies.

"Lexa, I... I haven't been completely honest with you..."

Lexa felt chills running through her back and Clarke saw the smile disappear from her lips, and it was now replaced with a mixture of confusion and worrisome on her face.

"Miss Woods, we have arrived," the chauffeur interrupted the intense moment between the two women as he parked the car in front of the restaurant.

"Oh, right... thank you for the ride, sir," she smiled at him while he was getting out of the car and then she looked back at Clarke. "So... we should..."

Clarke simply nodded and saw the door open on Lexa's side, the chauffeur holding it for her as she stepped out of the car, so Clarke followed her actions.

"The restaurant is on the other side of the park, miss Woods," the chauffeur said with a strong French accent. "I'm afraid I can only drive to this point," he explained once they were on the sidewalk outside the car.

"It's no problem at all, thank you very much," Lexa thanked him and shook his hand, giving him a generous tip.

He thanked her and went inside the car to return to the hotel.

Lexa and Clarke noticed a signpost indicating the direction to the famous restaurant _Les Ombres_, so they went to their left towards the park.

It was very crowded, but still beautiful with the perfect amount of light falling on their faces as the sun was slowly setting.

They walked quietly next to each other and the silence felt a bit awkward because of Clarke's words lingering in the air. She knew she had to resolve it quickly and the last thing she wanted to do was to ruin her evening with Lexa, or as the latter called it - their date.

"Lexa..." she decided to speak as they were approaching the entrance of the restaurant.

"Yes?" Lexa slowed down and looked at Clarke who had now turned completely towards her and stopped walking after grabbing Lexa by the arm.

"Before we enter, I just want to clear the air... it's about what I said before."

Lexa had the same serious expression on her face as the one she had couple of minutes ago in the car. She wasn't saying anything, so Clarke decided to continue.

"The reason I didn't stay for the last panel today wasn't because Raven was feeling unwell... It was because I couldn't bear to look at you one more time knowing it would be the last time I see you in person," Clarke started explaining.

"What do you mean the last time? Did you think I was not going to accept your invitation?" Lexa was confused.

"That's just it... I didn't know about it... I mean... it wasn't me who left you the note. It was Raven."

Lexa was out of words, she wasn't even sure she understood what Clarke was trying to say. It was definitely her number and she was there with her on their date, so it was a bit baffling how she couldn't have known about the note.

"I don't quite understand, I'm afraid..." she expressed her confusion. "Didn't you want to go out with me?"

"I did, more than anything," Clarke was quick to answer. "But I didn't dare to actually do something about it... I could barely speak to you the first time I saw you... So Raven saw how much I liked you and she slipped you the note after you signed my painting and I only found out about it when I got your message," she explained. "That's when she told me what she had done and... well, you know the rest."

Lexa's face relaxed and suddenly a smile emerged on her lips as she was moving her body closer to Clarke's and then leaned towards her while touching the sides of her jacket. Clarke was surprised by Lexa's reaction, she basically expected her to accuse her of being childish or to at least feel insulted.

But, on the contrary, Lexa was standing there, dangerously close to her with a playful look in her eyes.

"So... you like me a lot, then?" she said with a smirk on her face.

"Is that all you heard from what I just said?" Clarke couldn't help but smile at Lexa's selective hearing.

"I choose to focus on the things that are important," she explained. "The way I see it, Raven did us both a favor and we get to enjoy each other's company tonight... Right here and right now. And nothing else matters. Don't you agree?" she asked as she put her arms around Clarke, locking her fingers behind Clarke's back.

Clarke couldn't believe her luck - that gorgeous woman wanted her and it felt surreal. They were in the most romantic city in the world, standing in front of a restaurant with the most amazing view of the Eiffel Tour and Lexa was holding her in her arms, telling her that nothing else mattered.

And it really didn't.

She put her arms around Lexa's neck and stood on her tiptoes in order to reach Lexa's lips.

"You are absolutely right," she agreed as she pushed her lips softly onto Lexa's, who received her as if there had been a void inside her that no one has ever been able to fill, yet Clarke managed to do to it so effortlessly.

It felt like her heart was going to explode as she ran her fingers through Clarke's hair and intensified the kiss.


	7. C'est magnifique

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa enjoy their date as they become more and more attracted to each other. They talk about almost everything and Lexa reveals something important from her past.

It was a little before 8:45 pm when Clarke and Lexa were seated at their table on the terrace of the restaurant _Les Ombres_ and were looking at the wine list, deciding which one to order.

They chose a bottle of a semi-dry white wine, neither of them was an expert on wines, but they both happened to prefer white over red, especially in the summer months.

The restaurant had a magnificent view of the Eiffel Tour which they could see over their shoulder and it was at its full capacity. Being one of the most prestigious restaurants in Paris, it was expected to be crowded on Bastille Day, and the only reason they were able to make a reservation on such short notice was because the staff from the hotel where Lexa was staying, called on her behalf and they were able to pull some strings for the Australian actress.

"Wow, Lexa... the view is amazing," Clarke expressed her admiration.

"It really is," Lexa agreed, but she was actually referring to the view of Clarke sitting across from her.

Clarke turned her head to face Lexa who hadn't stopped looking at her, even when Clarke was appreciating the view.

They smiled at each other with a hint of timidness before the waiter interrupted the moment by bringing them the menu.

"Oh, good, it's in English as well," Lexa sounded relieved.

"It wouldn't have been a problem either way, I speak French," Clarke replied in a non-bragging way, not acknowledging the effect that piece of information had on Lexa's underwear.

"Just when I thought you couldn't be sexier..."

Clarke looked at her over the menu and moved her eyebrows up and down in a frisky manner.

"Stop it," Lexa exclaimed, laughing at Clarke's playfulness. "I'm trying to concentrate here... I can't find the vegetarian/vegan menu and you're not making it any easier for me."

"Oh, I'm sorry, am I distracting you?" Clarke had a smirky smile on her face. "Here, let me help you," she said as she pushed her chair a bit backwards, lifted her bottom off it and leaned over the table towards Lexa, exposing the full extent of her cleavage for her eyes only.

Lexa swallowed hard, with her eyes focused on Clarke's generous breasts while she was listing the menu directly in front of Lexa.

"Here it is," she pointed her finger to the list of vegetarian and vegan dishes, enjoying Lexa's non-verbal response to her teasing.

Lexa cleared her throat and somehow managed to look away from Clarke's cleavage and into her eyes.

"Thank you," she said as she watched Clarke sit back down on the chair.

"Anytime," Clarke replied and winked at her. "I didn't know you were one of us."

"One of you as in... gay?"

"No," Clarke laughed out loud looking at Lexa's innocent and confused expression on her face. "I meant vegetarian/vegan."

"Oh," Lexa blushed. "I stopped eating meat completely almost a year ago, it was kind of my gift to myself for my 25th birthday," she explained. "And for the last couple of months I've been like 90% vegan..."

"What's in the 10%?"

"Mozzarella sticks," she replied with a remorseful look on her face which made Clarke laugh again. "What about you?"

The waiter approached them, interrupting the conversation by taking their order, and after that they continued where they had left off.

"For me it's going to be 6 years in August," Clarke finally answered Lexa's question. "I was on a two-week seminar about foodborne pathogens in Finland, it was something like a summer camp in collaboration with our University... That's where I learned a lot about the food of animal origin and what it does to our bodies, so I just stopped consuming it."

"What did you study?"

"Medicine."

"Oh wow... so you weren't joking about your doctor's handwriting?"

"You read my letter, I see..." Clarke was pleasantly surprised.

"I did... I liked it a lot... And I used the lotion as well."

"I'm very glad to hear that."

Clarke couldn't keep her eyes off of Lexa and the image of her applying the lotion on her long legs after coming out of the shower, wearing nothing but a towel around her naked body was suddenly all she could think about.

She took a sip of her wine, still not being able to break the intense eye contact and felt grateful when the waiter approached their table, bringing them the food they had ordered earlier.

"Bon apetit," she said to Lexa after the waiter walked away from the table.

"Bon apetit."

Lexa looked at Clarke who was taking the first bite of the food while closing her eyes and then she moaned almost erotically when the exquisite flavors melted in her mouth. The brunette felt her throat instantly dry out and there was a groan ready to come out of it as she was observing Clarke enjoy her food, so she quickly grabbed her glass of wine and drank it to the last drop.

After she poured herself and Clarke some more wine, she was finally ready to ask Clarke about something that had been on her mind for the last couple of hours.

"Clarke... I was wondering... do you have a twin sister by any chance?"

"I do have a sister, but she's two years older than me... why?"

"What's her name?"

"Madi... why?" Clarke frowned, waiting for Lexa's explanation for her unusual questions.

"Umm... well, it's just that... you're gonna think I'm crazy, I'm sure."

"Try me."

"Alright..." Lexa agreed nervously, sipping some more wine. "When I was 14 years old, there was this talent show in Sydney and my mom was one of the producers, so I was there a lot, spending a lot of time backstage... So... one day I heard one of the participants practicing in one of the rooms, playing her guitar and singing. I remember it as it was yesterday... she was singing Rehab by Amy Winehouse and I thought it was the most beautiful sound I had ever heard," Lexa smiled, searching through the memories in her head. "Long story short, I ended up having a major crush on her and she didn't even know I existed, because of course, I didn't have to courage to talk to her... plus she was three years older than me and finishing high school by the end of the season... so, she was one of the finalists, but didn't win and she basically disappeared from the face of the Earth afterwards... All I know is that her name was Eliza, from Melbourne, she never gave out her last name... She was actually the reason I came out to my mother that same year... oh and she was the spitting image of you."

Clarke was listening to Lexa's story, almost without blinking and she had even stopped eating.

"Anyway... I thought she could've been your sister, because really, the resemblance is uncanny," Lexa finished her story and continued eating.

Clarke took her glass of wine and drank it all in one sip, leaving the empty glass back on the table.

"So, I guess you have a type," she teased Lexa who was relieved to see Clarke was making a joke and apparently didn't find her to be creepy because of what she had just told her.

"I guess I do," she laughed and offered some more wine to Clarke, who accepted without hesitation.

After that, they talked some more about different subjects, music being of them, and realized that they had almost identical taste in it. Lexa learned that Clarke was a bit of a neat freak, which she thought was very cute and Clarke learned that Lexa was a terrible decision maker and she found it adorable, especially when she told her stories about situations where she was the one in the group of people who had to make the final decision and it almost drove her crazy.

It was almost 10 pm and they had asked for the check and when the waiter left it on the table, they both simultaneously tried to grab it in order to pay.

"No, leave it to me, please," Clarke tried to convince Lexa.

"Absolutely not," Lexa insisted. "I invited you, so it's my treat."

"Actually, it was _you_ who accepted _my_ invitation, remember?" Clarke was not ready to give up.

"I'm not sure I do... remind me again, will you?" They both laughed, remembering the note with "Clarke's" invitation. "Please, Clarke, I insist. Please."

"Under one condition," Clarke finally caved, but with her hand still holding one side of the check tray.

"Anything," Lexa hastily agreed.

"You have to let me buy you drinks afterwards."

"Deal," Lexa let go of the receipt holder and extended her hand to receive Clarke's in a handshake to seal the deal.

After paying and leaving a generous tip, they left the restaurant and took a stroll by the river in the direction of the rooftop cocktail bar that Clarke had googled earlier.

"It's going to be a long walk..." she said after they had been walking for about fifteen minutes. "We have at least 30 more minutes left and you're in high heels."

"I'm used to it, don't worry," Lexa assured her. "I might even ask you to dance with me when we get there."

"Aren't we cocky..." Clarke teased her with a flirtatious tone in her voice.

They spent what was left of their walk to the _43 Rooftop Bar_ talking about almost everything, from their childhood to their favorite writers and books, films, traveling, pets, etc...

They arrived a little before 11 pm and took the elevator with three more people who were obviously headed in the same direction. Clarke touched Lexa's hand in a discreet manner, making it even more exciting for both of them because they were not alone, yet it felt incredibly intimate.

They got out of the elevator and looked for a free table by the fence, which was of course impossible to find, so instead they went to the bar to order the drinks.

"Lexa, that bar stool is not taken, take a sit... your feet must be killing you," Clarke suggested after noticing the empty bar stool in front of them.

"Are you always this caring?" Lexa whispered in Clarke's ear before sitting down.

Clarke closed her eyes when she felt Lexa's breath in her ear and a wave of an electric feeling went through her body that was later transformed into some form of pulsations between her legs, just like the ones she sometimes felt after an intense orgasm. She then proceeded to order a mimosa for Lexa and a gin tonic for herself and after getting their drinks, they heard a loud bang coming from afar and then noticed the sky light up.

"They're starting the fireworks in honor of Bastille Day!" Clarke shouted excitedly.

"Let's move closer to the fence to get a better look!" Lexa shared the enthusiasm and grabbed Clarke's hand, leading her to the other side of the terrace.

They were standing there for a while, enjoying the view, but it was quite windy and Clarke noticed that Lexa was shivering. She didn't think twice before taking off her jacket and putting it on Lexa's shoulders.

Lexa was taken by surprise and even though she was touched by Clarke's gesture, she was reluctant to accept the jacket.

"But now you'll be cold as well, Clarke..."

"I'm fine, I promise... I'm always hot anyway... no pun intended," she assured Lexa, making her smile.

"Even so..." she insisted. "We can share it... Come here," she put only one sleeve on and offered the other side of the jacket to Clarke.

"Wait, wait... stay just like that and look in the direction of the fireworks."

"What? Why?" Lexa was intrigued by Clarke's sudden change of behaviour.

"Just indulge me, please..." she insisted.

Lexa did what she asked of her and looked towards the fireworks with her right hand on her lips and chin, while holding the mimosa in her left hand.

Her hair was up in a bun, revealing her long and delicate neck which along with the scent coming from her body was driving Clarke insane. Still, she managed to complete the task she had given herself and took a photo of Lexa. She then put on a black and white filter to get a better contrast between the lighting and the shadows.

"Let me see," Lexa leaned over to take a look at the photo. "Wow... I love it! How do you say _It's wonderful_ in French?"

"_C'est magnifique_," Clarke replied and put away her phone as she moved a little closer to Lexa.

"Mmm... I think I'm going to make you talk to me in French more often..." Lexa's voice was now low and sensual.

"There's something else I'd like to do first," Clarke whispered in Lexa's ear and touched her body with her own.

"Yeah? What's that?" Lexa played along.

Clarke moved her lips a little bit away from Lexa's ear, but just enough so that she could still hear her and she started singing the first verse of Amy Winehouse's Rehab in a raspy but somehow soft voice.

Lexa became tense and all those memories from 12 years ago came rushing to her head, bringing tears to her eyes.

Clarke finished the first verse and was surprised that Lexa still hadn't said anything, so she moved away from her ear to face her. Lexa's head was tilted downwards and that was when she saw the tears coming down Lexa's cheeks, so Clarke rushed to wipe them off with her thumbs.

"Hey, Lexa... look at me," she touched her chin, trying to get her to look her in the eyes. "What's wrong?"

Lexa finally looked at her and exhaled.

"Clarke... I thought..." she was struggling to make a sentence. "I thought I'd never see you again. Is it really you? How?"

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you before at dinner, I wanted it to be a surprise," Clarke was looking at Lexa with a sad smile on her face. "It is me, my middle name is Eliza, after my grandmother from Slovenia, which is where I moved to after high school... to study Medicine."

"I feel like I'm dreaming... I must look foolish to you, getting emotional over some teenage crush," Lexa laughed at the situation and Clarke cupped her cheeks with her hands.

"You look perfect to me, Lexa."

They stared at each other, still unable to process the fact they had crossed paths again after so many years and after both of them had moved across the world. Yet, now they were on a rooftop in Paris, with their arms wrapped around each other, fireworks lighting up the sky, feeling an explosion of emotions inside them and their bodies ready to burst into flames, eager to discover each other for the first time.

"Let's get out of here," Lexa didn't need to say more as Clarke took her hand and led her out of the building and into a taxi.

Once inside, Lexa gave the driver the address of her hotel and as they drove off, she put her hand on Clarke's leg, noticing the excitement increase as she felt her warm skin under her fingertips.

Clarke swallowed hard and let out a soft moan out of her throat and then looked at Lexa whose eyes were now dark and filled with uncontrollable desire. Clarke was turned on immensely by the expression on Lexa's face, and she could honestly say she had never felt anyone wanting her as much as Lexa did in that exact moment.

It was probably what gave her the courage to take Lexa's hand and put it between her legs.

Lexa started breathing heavily when she felt Clarke's warm sex on her palm and was unable to control the fairly loud moan that originated from her throat.

That got the taxi driver's attention and he looked in the mirror to check up on the two women.

"Hey, _mademoiselles_, everything alright back there? If you're sick, let me know, I can pull over... just don't throw up in there, alright?"

Clarke grabbed Lexa's hand again and removed it from her center of pleasure, while Lexa was wondering what was going on, since she didn't understand a word of French.

"No, no, it's fine _monsieur_, there will be no vomiting here, don't worry," Clarke assured the driver.

Lexa's arousal tripled when she heard Clarke speak fluent French, so she got closer to her and whispered in her ear.

"I swear to God, Clarke, if you say one more thing in French, I'm going to jump your bones right here in the backseat."

Clarke unintentionally closed her legs tight because of the tension and wetness she felt in her vagina and she knew that if Lexa continued to whisper dirty words in her ear, there was a big possibility she would come right there in the car, without even having to touch her clit.

The rest of the 30-minute ride to Lexa's hotel was the most excruciating experience for both of them, whose bodies were aching to be touched and they were trying extremely hard to keep their hands off each other.

Finally the taxi stopped in the hotel's driveway in front of the parking gate and when they got out of the car, Clarke realized that it was the same one where the convention was held.

"I didn't think you'd be staying here," she said to Lexa. "Aren't you afraid that the fans would camp in front of the entrance just to see you?"

"Not at all," Lexa shook her head. "There's 24-hour hotel security, plus I always enter through the back door," Clarke was about to say something, but Lexa beat her to it. "And no, no pun intended."

They both laughed as Lexa lead Clarke through the parking lot which they accessed using her hotel room key card and then they walked to the entrance on the other side of the establishment, which led directly to a private elevator that could be activated only with the card in Lexa's hand.

As they walked towards Lexa's hotel room, both of them felt the magnitude of the moment that was a point of no return and they were well aware that after that night, their lives would never be the same again.


	8. Divine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa spend the night together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everyone! Thank you so much for your comments and kudos 😊 Here's chapter 8! I feel like I should warn you about its mature content, though 🔥 Hope you like it! 😉

There are moments in life when it feels that the world has stopped spinning, time just stands still, there is no yesterday and tomorrow doesn't matter.

There's only here and now.

Those moments usually turn out to be life-changing and after that, everything feels different - the sun shines brighter, the scent of the flowers is more intense and the music touches your soul in ways you didn't think possible.

For Clarke it felt as if she had been in a coma for longer than she could remember and she was woken up by Lexa's lips, starting to regain all of her senses through Lexa's fingers on her skin.

She was feeling truly alive, probably for the first time in her life.

Clarke was standing behind Lexa, as the latter unlocked the door with her hotel room key card and opened it.

Lexa was about to turn around to face her, but Clarke didn't wait for an invitation, instead she quickly approached the brunette from behind and grabbed her by the hips, pulling her body close to hers. Lexa sighed when she felt Clarke's warmth and her knees became weak, so she leaned on the open door as she let her head fall behind on Clarke's right shoulder, exposing her neck and inviting her to conquer it with her lips.

Clarke took the hint and tasted that sweet spot between Lexa's neck and left shoulder for the first time. She moaned as she felt the blonde's tongue on her skin, making its way to her ear and stopping just beneath it, on the corner of her jaw.

Lexa's breathing was becoming faster and louder and Clarke's hand left her hip and moved towards her naked abdomen, just above her navel.

It seemed to her that Lexa's skin was a drug, a highly addictive one, and she couldn't get enough of it. She had no control over her body, she just wanted more of Lexa.

All of her, actually.

Clarke was sure she had never wanted anyone as much as she wanted Lexa in that moment.

Her hand moved up under Lexa's shirt and toward her left breast, which she almost reached before she was stopped by Lexa who took her hand and turned around to face her.

Clarke's heart was racing and skipped a beat yet again as she locked eyes with Lexa, whose cheeks were flushed, hair messy and pupils so dilated that there was absolutely no trace of that intense green Clarke liked so much.

"Come in," she said and pulled Clarke inside the hotel room.

Clarke entered and swallowed hard as the door closed behind her. Lexa was holding her hand and walking backwards, leading her to the bed without interrupting the eye contact. Despite the arousal, Clarke noticed that the room was very neat, no clothes or personal belongings laying around and truth to be told, it probably turned her on even more, if that was possible.

They moved closer to the bed and when Lexa's legs touched the edge, she let go of Clarke's hand, leaving some distance between them.

She took off the jacket Clarke had given her earlier and crossed her arms, reaching the sides of her white shirt with her fingers and then pulled it over her head.

Lexa took off her shirt, then threw it on the floor and Clarke's jaw dropped when she saw her naked torso. She had noticed earlier that Lexa was not wearing a bra, but it didn't take away any of the excitement of seeing Lexa's perky breasts and erect nipples.

Noticing the desire in Clarke's eyes made Lexa feel sexy and confident, so she decided to make a move, seeing that Clarke couldn't take her eyes off of her.

"Do you like what you see, Clarke?" she asked with a smirk on her face.

Clarke's eyes finally left Lexa's torso and moved up to her full lips, which the brunette was now biting while looking seductively at Clarke.

"That would be an understatement," the blonde replied with firmness, walked towards Lexa and grabbed her by the waist as their lips joined in a passionate kiss.

They received each other's tongues with thirst and the wetness between their legs increased with each movement of those skilled muscles inside their mouths.

Lexa put her arms around Clarke and grabbed her hair on the back of her head, pulling it gently as the kiss intensified. Clarke, on the other hand, was touching Lexa's naked back, pulling her closer and moving her hands towards her lower back. Then she grabbed her ass, which provoked a moan that originated from Lexa's throat and disappeared inside Clarke's mouth.

The blonde separated her lips from Lexa's to find that sweet spot on her neck again, with her hands firmly placed on her buttocks while she was kissing and licking the length of Lexa's neck. She reached the clavicule with her tongue and continued to the south, leaving kisses on her sternum, slowly approaching Lexa's perfectly sized breasts.

Lexa's fingers were tangled in Clarke's hair and she pulled harder when she felt Clarke's tongue around her hard nipple.

"Fuck... Clarke..." she moaned and closed her eyes as she leaned her head backwards, holding onto Clarke's head.

Clarke was sucking on Lexa's nipple and moved one of her hands from the brunette's ass to grab her other breast that fitted perfectly in her small palm.

Lexa's moans were becoming louder, knees weaker and she was eager to feel Clarke's tongue all over her body.

Almost as if she read her mind, Clarke started licking Lexa's neck again while she unzipped her jeans and then slid them down Lexa's legs, leaving them at her ankles.

Clarke took a good look at Lexa, who was now standing almost naked in front of her, wearing only black lace panties.

"Damn, Lexa..." she was staring at her with undeniable lust in her eyes.

"I think this is redundant, wouldn't you agree?" Lexa asked as she proceeded to take off Clarke's shirt.

Clarke lifted her arms, making it easier for Lexa to pull the shirt over her head, which is exactly what the latter did, leaving her only in her black bra.

"Wow..." Lexa opened her eyes widely, not being able to hide her appreciation for Clarke's large breasts.

"See something you like, Lexa?" Clarke was smiling at Lexa, her voice sounding raspier than usual.

"Now _that's_ an understatement," Lexa grabbed Clarke's waist, pulling her close and then kissed her lustfully, feeling her almost naked torso touching hers for the first time.

As they were kissing, Lexa unhooked Clarke's bra, which fell on the ground and then grabbed her breasts, surrounding them completely with her long fingers.

Unfortunately for Lexa, Clarke interrupted the contact between Lexa's fingers and her nipples by asking the actress to lie down on the bed.

She obeyed, remembering to resume her actions and to give some extra attention to Clarke's breasts later.

Once the brunette was lying on her back, Clarke finished removing her jeans from her ankles, as well as her high heels. She then started touching and kissing her legs, beginning from the inner side of the calf muscles, moving slowly towards her inner thighs and finally getting to her black panties, that were completely wet by now.

Clarke moaned as she felt the wetness on the lace with her fingers and made a few circular movements on Lexa's clit over the soaked panties, making Lexa scream of pleasure.

"Fuck, Lexa... You're so wet..." Clarke managed to say in between shallow breaths.

"Ahhhhh..." Lexa released a loud moan from her throat and arched her back.

Clarke knew that Lexa was ready to take her in, so she took off her panties and then stood up by the bed and took off her own pants and underwear hastily before returning to the bed, with her knees between Lexa's legs.

She started leaving wet kisses on Lexa's abs, slowly moving south and when she got to her groin, Lexa lifted her hips, in expectation of the contact between her clit and Clarke's tongue. But Clarke had a different idea, even though she was dying to taste Lexa, she wanted to make her beg for it, so she skipped Lexa's sex and licked her inner thighs again. She noticed Lexa's frustration, because she kept moving her hips up and down, waiting for Clarke's tongue to find its way to where it was most needed.

Lexa's movements turned her on so much that she put her legs around one of Lexa's and she started rubbing her clit just above Lexa's knee.

That was it for the brunette, she couldn't wait anymore, she needed to feel Clarke inside her.

"Ohhh fuck, Clarke... Please..." she begged.

"Mmm... Tell me what you want, Lexa... I want to hear you say it..."

"Please... ahhhhh... please..."

"Say it..."

"Fuck me... please..."

Hearing Lexa begging to be fucked almost made Clarke come in that same moment, so she stopped rubbing her clit on Lexa's leg and moved her head towards her sex.

She started licking, first her outer lips, then made her way through the folds to her juicy inner lips and finally to her clitoris. Lexa's taste was driving her insane, she was one touch away from an orgasm, that was how much she enjoyed absorbing Lexa's juice in her mouth.

Lexa was not far behind, she was desperately trying to make her pleasure last longer but it was hard to stop herself from coming too fast, as she was extremely turned on and Clarke seemed to be very experienced with her tongue.

The brunette's loud moans indicated that she couldn't hold on much longer, so Clarke put her middle finger inside her wet pussy, with her tongue still on her clit, making Lexa moan even louder as she grabbed Clarke's head looking for more pressure on her clit.

Clarke took the hint and started sucking her even harder at the same time she added the index finger inside and was now moving her two fingers back and forth, slightly under an angle upwards so she could hit the G spot.

She felt the walls of Lexa's vagina tighten around her fingers and knew that Lexa was about to come.

"Ahhh.. Clarke... I'm... I'm coming...fuuuuuck..."

Lexa started feeling the heat accumulating in her lower abdomen and her whole body was shaking as she rode out what was probably the most intense orgasm in her life.

After a while, she released her grip and stroked Clarke's hair.

The blonde slowly removed her fingers from Lexa's wet pussy that was now a bit more loose after the orgasm.

Lexa opened her eyes and lifted her upper body, leaning on her elbows, and looked at Clarke who was now on her knees between Lexa's legs.

Clarke took her fingers, covered in Lexa's sweet juice, to her mouth and licked them thoroughly while looking at Lexa.

"Your taste is divine," she said as she finished licking the last drop of Lexa off her fingers.

Lexa's mouth was dry, and even though she was exhausted from the orgasm, she felt that she could come again just by looking at Clarke seductively licking her fingers.

She sat up with her legs wide open, offering the view of her soaked pussy to Clarke whose eyes were immediately drawn there.

"There's plenty more where that came from..." she said as she was moving her fingers through her folds. "But first I'm going to need some of yours, if you don't want me to die of thirst."

Clarke smiled and leaned towards Lexa who received her with a wet kiss, feeling her own taste on Clarke's lips.

She climbed onto Lexa and sat on her lap, wrapping her legs around her waist. Lexa grabbed Clarke's behind with her long fingers and moved her lips to Clarke's neck, where she used her tongue all the way to her collar bone.

Clarke extended her neck and moaned as she felt Lexa's tongue making circles around her nipple while she was massaging her other breast with her hand. Then she switched hands and started sucking her other nipple as well as biting it softly every now and then which was well received by the blonde, who started moving her hips back and forth on top of Lexa.

The brunette felt Clarke's wetness on her skin which made her anxious to taste it, so she stopped licking her breast and lay down on her back, sliding underneath Clarke while grabbing her ass and pulling her up towards her face.

The blonde's sex was now directly above Lexa's mouth, her knees on each side of the brunette's head and she was holding onto the headboard while Lexa was admiring the view from below.

"You're so fucking hot," she said in between moans and pressed her lips on Clarke's wet pussy.

A loud sound of pleasure came out of Clarke's throat as Lexa's tongue made its way through her folds all the way to her bulging clitoris and started applying more pressure on that sensitive spot.

"Fuck... Lexa... Aaahhh..." she moaned and then started riding Lexa's face, holding tight onto the headboard.

Lexa moved one hand from Clarke's buttocks and entered her vagina from behind, using her middle finger. Clarke's moans became louder when she felt Lexa's long finger inside her and started moving faster and faster, leaving evidence of her wetness all over the brunette's face.

"Mmmmm..." Lexa sighed, feeling immensely turned on by Clarke's taste inside her mouth.

She then felt the blonde's sex becoming tighter around her finger, so she quickly added her index finger inside which was when she really felt the walls of Clarke's vagina tighten up even more, making it impossible for her to go deeper. Clarke's movements were now slower and her moans louder.

"Oooohhh Lexa... fuck... yeah... I'm gonna... I'm... aaaaaaaaah..." Clarke was almost screaming as the wave of the orgasm went through her body making her shake even after she came, like an aftershock following a big earthquake.

She could barely feel her legs as she moved herself away from Lexa's face and lay down next to her.

They were both out of breath, their skin sweaty and they smiled at each other as their eyes met for the first time after Clarke's orgasm.

"That was... amazing..." she said after reaching Lexa's face with her hand and cleaned the wetness off her chin and around her lips.

"Mmmmm... we're not done yet," Lexa smiled and leaned over Clarke.

"Oh, yeah?" she asked playfully and raised her eyebrows.

"Not even close," she smiled as she pressed her lips on Clarke's, who opened her mouth to receive Lexa's tongue, feeling her own taste and making her moan inside her mouth.

Lexa was suddenly on top with her thigh between Clarke's legs, moving back and forth, rubbing her clit on the blonde's thigh at the same time.

The kiss was becoming more intense as the movements accelerated and the only time their lips parted was when they needed to catch their breath right before they came almost simultaneously.

After the second orgasm, they were lying on their side, facing each other, feeling pleasantly exhausted.

"I think I'm obsessed with your boobs," Lexa confessed while looking at Clarke's generous breasts covered by the sheets.

"I noticed," she laughed. "You spent a lot of time in that area."

"Yeah... sorry about that," Lexa blushed. "It's just that they're so soft... and big... I can't seem to get enough of them," she said and covered her face with her hands, feeling a bit embarrassed by her own confession.

"Hey..." Clarke came closer, took Lexa's hands and removed them from her face. "Did you see me complain?"

She then took one of Lexa's hands under the sheets and put it on her naked breasts, while looking at her with a seductive smile on her face.

Lexa sighed as the green in her eyes turned dark, with desire written all over her face when she leaned to meet Clarke's lips in a passionate kiss.

After a few more orgasms, they were so exhausted that they immediately fell asleep with their arms and legs wrapped around each other, completely naked under the sheets.


	9. Baby fingers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and Clarke spend a pleasant morning in the hotel room and they talk, laugh and enjoy each other's company, getting to know each other better 😉 Oh, and there's some sex as well, duuuh 😆

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your comments and kudos, means a lot!  
Hope you like the new chapter.

Clarke was woken up by the touch of Lexa's lips on her neck, feeling her arm wrapped around her body.

She opened her eyes and saw a beige wall and sunlight coming through white curtains, making it hard for her to keep her eyes open. There was a red sofa chair and a small coffee table next to the window, and there she recognized the white rose she'd given Lexa the day before, which was now in a tall glass vase filled with water.

"Mmmmm..." she sighed as she felt Lexa's fingertips caressing the length of her arm all the way to the back of her hand. "That feels really nice."

"Stroking your arm? Or kissing your neck?" Lexa asked and moved her lips onto Clarke's shoulder. "What about here?"

"All of the above... and also, it feels good being the little spoon."

Clarke could feel Lexa smiling as she was leaving soft kisses on her skin.

"You're always the big spoon, then? I suppose it fits with your need to be in control" she laughed.

"Hey..." Clarke protested playfully. "Are you calling me a control freak?"

"Never!" Lexa laughed. "I think it's cute."

"Yeah?" Clarke moved her body closer to Lexa's and felt her warm, naked breasts on her back.

"Uh huh..." she whispered in Clarke's ear. "Do you want to know what else I find cute about you?" she continued and got an affirmative answer from Clarke who nodded her head. "Your baby fingers," she said as she grabbed Clarke's hand, bringing their palms together and then started laughing.

"Oh come on..." the blonde couldn't help but laugh as well. "Saying that to a lesbian is like telling a guy that he has a cute little baby dick."

Lexa started laughing out loud, then moved away from her and got out of the bed.

Clarke didn't like the lost skin contact, so she turned around to look for Lexa, who was walking away from the bed, completely naked, towards the anteroom on the way to the bathroom.

"It's not that I mind the view, but I prefer having you here, next to me..." she protested.

"I slept with my contact lenses on, I have to take them out," Lexa said and kept walking. "I'll be right back."

Clarke took a good look at Lexa's long legs and noticed what seemed to be an irregularly shaped birthmark the size of a plum on her left thigh, just below her gluteus. It reminded her of the one she had herself on the inner side of her thigh but smaller and closer to the knee and it made her smile. Clarke had seen a big amount of photos of Lexa on the internet, but she had never noticed the birthmark. Maybe it had to do with the fact the Lexa didn't usually take the kind of photos that would require the removal of her clothes, she was actually very moderate in that aspect. It was obvious that she wanted to get noticed because of her acting skills and not because of her body.

All of those thoughts made their way into Clarke's head, who could finally grasp the reality of the situation - she was in Lexa Woods' bed after she'd had mind-blowing sex with her the night before. And the best part of it was that it didn't feel weird at all with Lexa being someone she'd been admiring on the TV screen for the last two years. The connection between them felt natural and very real, even familiar, as if their bodies were always meant to fit like two pieces of a puzzle.

They were just two women, extremely attracted to each other, making the best of it in a hotel room in Paris.

Clarke's thoughts were interrupted by Lexa, leaning on the door frame and smiling at the blonde who was still in the same position she had left her.

"The bed looks so much better with you in it," she said with a subtle smile on her face, looking at Clarke through her eyeglasses.

"It'll look even better if you join me," Clarke was quick to reply. "Oh... and leave the glasses on, please."

Lexa was very tempted to get in the bed next to Clarke.

Next to her, on top of her, under her... again and again.

All day and all night long and she still wouldn't have had enough.

"Actually..." she said and bit her lower lip. "I was going to ask you if you'd like to join me in the shower."

"The day I say "no" to that, please take me to a hospital to be checked up for a stroke or a brain tumor," Clarke got out of the bed and walked towards Lexa, whose eyes were focused on the blonde's breasts.

Once Clarke was in front of her, Lexa grabbed her by the waist and kissed her on the neck, pulling her closer.

"Mmmmm... Your skin is so soft," she said in a low voice as she continued kissing Clarke's neck, then the collar bone, the upper part of her breast and then she stopped right before she got to the nipple. "It looks like someone's happy to see me," she smiled and then put Clarke's erect nipple in her mouth.

"Ohhh... yeah, definitely..." she sighed as she felt Lexa's warm tongue on her skin. "And I'll let you play with it some more... mmmm..."

"Mmmm... yeah?" Lexa gave her a gentle bite.

"Uh huh... mmm... but, first I need to use the bathroom..." Clarke managed to say in spite of the arousal that was beginning to build up in her lower abdomen.

Lexa reluctantly moved away from Clarke's breast and looked her in the eyes.

"Sure," she smiled at her. "It's over there, through the anteroom," she pointed in the direction of the bathroom.

"Thank you," Clarke smiled back and started approaching the bathroom.

As she was walking away, Lexa's eyes scanned Clarke's entire body and she was reminded yet again how much she was attracted to this woman. All she wanted to do was to feel every curve of her body with her tongue and to discover every single erogenous zone that made her quiver, even the spots that made her tickle. She found herself completely consumed by her and was actively trying not to think what was going to happen once they left that hotel room, because she wasn't sure she was ready for the answer.

She was about to call the reception and ask for room service when she heard the bathroom door open and then also Clarke's voice.

"Lexa, is it alright if I use your mouth wash? Or if you have an extra toothbrush I could use?" she shouted through the slightly opened bathroom door.

"Of course, yes," Lexa replied. "Umm... no, I don't have an extra one, sorry."

"Thanks!" Clarke shouted joyfully and closed the door.

Lexa then proceeded to call reception and she asked for the entire vegan breakfast menu, given her disinclination to take decisions, especially that early in the morning.

"Yes, and could you let yourselves in, please, and leave it on the balcony? Thank you," she finished the conversation and put down the phone.

The bathroom door opened again and soon after that she heard the sound of water running in the shower.

She entered the bathroom and saw Clarke through the shower glass door applying some shower gel on the skin of her neck and as soon as she felt Lexa's eyes on her, she moved her hands towards her breasts and started massaging them.

"I think I'm going to need some help with this..." she said in a low, raspy voice, with a seductive smile on her face.

Lexa's jaw dropped and she quickly took off her glasses, left them on the marble sink and joined Clarke in the shower, who received her with a hot and moist kiss, mashing her lips against Lexa's.

She hungrily pushed back, opened her mouth and their tongues started battling back and forth like wrestlers, each trying to pin the other. The heat rose in their cheeks as the kiss became firmer and their hands started exploring eachother's bodies, feeling an electric sensation reaching through both of them.

Clarke softened the kiss and slowly parted her lips from Lexa's who leaned with her forehead on Clarke's as her breathing was starting to calm down.

"Turn around..." Clarke asked and Lexa opened her eyes to find hers. "I'm going to wash your back."

Lexa smiled and obeyed, turning around to face the wall, pressing the palms of her hands on the beige bathroom tiles.

Clarke poured some of the shower gel in her hand and proceeded to apply it on Lexa's back, starting at her shoulders, making slow, circular movements and then moving between her scapulas, getting closer and closer to her lower back. Lexa arched her back, sticking out her ass, almost as she was begging to be touched there. Clarke didn't hesitate and grabbed her buttocks, making her moan as she tilted her head back, exposing her long neck. Clarke placed her hands on Lexa's abs, pressed her pelvis on her behind and started kissing her neck passionately.

The space was filled with their moans as Clarke's hands grabbed Lexa's breasts, her lips firmly placed on her neck, sucking and licking her sweet skin until one of her hands found its way to Lexa's pussy.

The brunette screamed of pleasure when Clarke touched her throbbing clitoris and applied some more pressure as Lexa started moving her hips back and forth, intensifying the contact between Clarke's hand and her folds.

The movements were becoming faster and the moans louder and she felt weak in the knees when Clarke's finger entered her vagina from behind, while her other hand was still positioned on her clitoris.

She could feel Clarke's warm breath on her skin and her breasts pressed on her back, while she was moving her fingers deeper and faster inside of her.

In a matter of seconds, Clarke felt the pressure increase, forcing her to decrease the pace of the penetration while Lexa accelerated the movements of her hips, rubbing her clitoris on Clarke's fingers until she released a loud moan, followed by short, but intense post-orgasmic spasms, until she finally relaxed her body and leaned her forehead on the bathroom tiles.

Clarke slowly removed her fingers from Lexa's sex and wrapped her arms around her waist, leaving soft kisses on the wet skin of her back.

"I don't know how you do it... but I've never come this fast before," she said while catching up her breath.

"Well..." Clarke smiled and spoke as she continued to kiss Lexa's back. "That's a secret between me and my baby fingers."

Lexa laughed out loud and turned around to look at Clarke who had a naughty smile on her face.

"You're not going to let that one go, are you?" she said and gave her a soft kiss on the lips.

"Ummmm..." Clarke said with a fake pensive look on her face. "Probably not," she smiled as she kissed Lexa back.

"Mmm... I'm sure there's something I could do to make you forget about it," Lexa looked at Clarke provocatively as she moved her hands to her breasts, making circles with her thumbs around Clarke's nipples. "I can be very persuasive, you know..."

She saw Clarke's pupils dilate and her lips parted, letting out a soft moan as she felt Lexa's tongue on her hard nipple.

Lexa took her time with Clarke's breasts, giving them her full attention using her mouth and her hands, and when she felt that the sounds coming out of Clarke's throat were becoming louder, she found her lips and silenced her with a lustful kiss.

She rotated her body until she positioned Clarke with her back against the wall and moved away from her lips only to find her neck, where she left a few soft bites which made Clarke pull Lexa's body closer, leaving scratch marks on her back in the process.

Lexa moved south, licking the space between Clarke's breasts and bent her knees to reach her abdomen, slowly approaching her smooth mons pubis while kneeling on the shower floor.

Once her face was at the same height as Clarke's sex, she lifted the blonde's left leg and placed it on her right shoulder, obtaining better access to her folds, which she explored promptly with her tongue.

Clarke instinctively grabbed Lexa's head with both hands as she released a heavy groan and looked down at the brunette.

"Lexa... ohhh... fuck..."

Lexa looked up and locked eyes with Clarke, with her lips tightly positioned on the blonde's pussy, circling around her clitoris with her tongue. She was squeezing Clarke's glutes with her hands, pulling her closer to her face and once the blonde's hips started moving back and forth with more intensity, Lexa entered her wet vagina with her middle finger.

Clarke let out a loud moan when she felt the brunette inside of her and clenched her fists, softly pulling Lexa's wet hair and intensifying the contact between her tongue and Clarke's clitoris. That was when she inserted another finger, changing the direction towards the upper wall of Clarke's vagina and she knew that she had hit the right spot when the blonde arched her back and her whole body started shaking.

Her moans were becoming heavier as her hips were starting to calm down after the all-consuming orgasm delivered by Lexa's tongue and fingers.

After they finished washing their bodies, they got out of the shower and put on the white bath robes with the hotel logo that were hanged on the bathroom wall.

Lexa put on her glasses and stepped out of the bathroom to enter the anteroom.

"Come with me," she invited Clarke to join her as she started walking towards the balcony.

"I'll be right there, I just have to check my phone..." Clarke said. "Raven must be worried sick because I didn't come back last night."

"Maybe she didn't either," Lexa smiled and winked at Clarke before she left the anteroom and steped out to the balcony.

Clarke smiled back and went to the bedroom.

She found her bag on the floor, took out her phone and when she unlocked the screen, she saw that she had three missed calls and one message from Eva, all from the night before, one missed video call from her mother from that same morning and absolutely nothing from Raven.

Clarke decided to ignore the messages from Eva, instead she opened the chat with Raven and sent her a text.

**Text message**

_Clarke:_  
"I'm alive and well, thank you for asking!"

The reply came almost instantly.

_Raven:_  
"Oh, there's no doubt in my head about that. You lucky bastard! 😆 I want details! And makesure to pull out your tongue on time if you don't want us to miss the flight 😜"

_Clarke:_  
"I'll be there at 2 pm 😉"

She sent the last text and proceeded to make the bed before making a video call to her mother.

The two of them had a very close relationship and she knew that her mother would be worried if she didn't call her back, even if it was just to let her know that she was safe and sound.

Clarke finished the conversation and decided to join Lexa on the balcony.

When she got there, an expression of total surprise came over her face when she saw all kinds of breakfast food on the table and Lexa wearing her glasses and smiling at her, sipping tea.

"Tea or coffee?" she asked while holding the tea and coffee pot in her hands.

"Tea, please..." Clarke replied as she sat down on the chair across from Lexa. "Wow... this is amazing! When did you do this? I was only gone for five minutes."

"I called the reception before I joined you in the shower," she explained as she poured some tea in a cup and handed it to Clarke. "It's all vegan."

"Smooth," she smiled and raised her eyebrows. "That means they were actually here when we were... Oh, God... do you think they heard something?"

"Well, you were pretty loud," she smiled when she saw the threatening look on Clarke's face.

"Uh huh,_ I'm _the loud one," she played along.

Lexa laughed out loud and took a bite of the croissant. She chew it down and took another sip of her tea before continuing the conversation.

"To be honest, Clarke... I couldn't care less," she said calmly. "It was worth it," she continued and locked eyes with Clarke because she wanted her to know that she truly meant what she was going to say next. "_You_ are worth it."

Clarke felt her cheeks burning because of Lexa's words and the soft and vulnerable look in her green eyes as she spoke. She fought the urge to look away, unable to find the right words and felt relieved when Lexa smiled before interrupting the intense eye contact as she continued eating.

"I couldn't help but overhear you talking on the phone," she redirected the conversation. "Was that Slovenian?"

"Yes, I returned my mum's call to let her know everything's fine," Clarke answered. "What did it sound like to you?"

"Actually, it reminded me a little bit of when my friend Val talks to her parents in Serbian. To me it sounds a bit similar... is it?"

"Sure, there are some similarities I suppose..." Clarke answered. "After all, before Yugoslavia fell apart, the official language was Serbian and they all had to learn it in school in addition to the official language of each country individually," she explained.

"Wow, that's interesting. Were you born before or after that?"

"In the middle of it, actually. Things stared falling apart around 1989 and Slovenia gained independence from Yugoslavia in 1991. But I was born in Australia because my mum had met my dad before that."

"So your mum probably speaks Serbian as well, right? What about you? Like, if you met Val, would the two of you understand each other?"

"My mum speaks it fluently and I understand it as well, although I make some mistakes with the declension of the nouns," Clarke smiled. "But yes, I would understand her, even though I think she wouldn't understand me if I spoke Slovenian... It's a bit different than all the other languages in the Balkan region."

"I love learning new things," Lexa said enthusiastically. "These last hours have been very enlightening for me... Other than what you just told me, I also realized that I'm definitely a boob person and I learned that I can come in less than five minutes... And all of that before..." she stopped talking to look at the time on her phone and then continued. "11:30 am."

Clarke started laughing and she suddenly realized that she really liked Lexa.

Not Lexa, the actress.

She liked _this_ Lexa, the gorgeous person sitting across from her, cracking jokes about boobs and orgasms. She was comfortable around her and felt that she could talk about anything, as if they had known each other for years and now they were catching up.

Lexa was showing genuine interest in Clarke's life and their connection was not only physical, they actually covered a great deal of refreshing and stimulating subjects of conversation. Clarke couldn't remember when was the last time she enjoyed talking to someone that much.

"I learned something new as well," she said with a playful smile.

"What's that?"

"You have a birthmark under your left butt cheek."

"I do," Lexa laughed. "I was actually ashamed of it when I was a teenager."

"Well, I think it's very sexy," she said in a low, sensual voice. "And there's something else..."

"What?" Lexa was curious.

"You wearing your eyeglasses makes me want to lock you up in this room and fuck you until the sun comes up," she said while looking intensely at Lexa, who had to swallow hard before she could reply.

"What are you waiting for, then?" Lexa asked with a smirk on her face, raising her eyebrows.

Clarke stood up and went over to her, rotated the chair Lexa was sitting on and leaned over her with her hands on the chair handles.

"I'm ready for my dessert," she said as she untied the bathrobe rope, revealing Lexa's naked body.

Lexa's breathing became heavier as Clarke got down on her knees without breaking the eye contact, spread her legs apart and proceeded to give her the best oral sex of her life.


	10. May we meet again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa say their goodbyes. Clarke confides in Raven about what happened with Lexa. We also learn something about Clarke's family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I'd like to thank you for the kudos and the comments, I appreciate it a lot. I'm very glad to see that you're enjoying my story. I'd also like to ask for a little bit of patience and understanding for Clarke as this is the first time that she's done something like this, it's an unfamiliar situation for her and she doesn't quite know how to handle it... she's only human, after all... Fictional, but still human 😊

"What time is your flight?" Lexa asked, seated on the side of the bed as she was watching Clarke get dressed.

"5:45 pm, but we have to be there two hours earlier... plus we need to return the rental car," Clarke answered while she was pulling up her short black pants.

"Oh, right..." Lexa said quietly and nodded.

"When is yours?" Clarke asked after she had put on her white shirt and sat down on the bed, next to Lexa.

"Tomorrow afternoon."

"To Los Angeles?" Clarke inquired and gently touched the back of Lexa's hand with her fingers.

"To San Diego, actually..." Lexa looked at her and smiled. "It's the annual San Diego Comic Con, our panel is on Friday, the 19th of July..." she explained. "But I'll arrive on Wednesday, there are some interviews and photoshoots scheduled for Thursday."

"Wow... that sounds exciting! The Comic Con is a big deal, I've seen some videos from last year," Clarke said enthusiastically.

"It is, yes..." Lexa agreed. "But I'm more excited about what comes after that."

"What's that?"

"Vacation time," her smile became wider as she leaned back, lying down on the bed and put her hands under her head.

Clarke followed her actions and lay down on her side. She leaned with her elbow on the mattress and rested her head on her hand, then started playing with Lexa's bathrobe rope.

"Do you have any plans for your birthday?" she asked.

"No, I just know I will be in San Diego... I should be back in LA on the 22nd of July," she replied. "What about you? Any plans vacation-wise?"

"I have some vacation days in the first half of August..." Clarke replied. "I was planning on using them for a motorcycle road trip."

Lexa lifted her upper body as she leaned on her elbows and looked at Clarke with an amused expression on her face.

"You have a motorcycle? Damn, Clarke... that's hot."

Clarke laughed and then moved up to get closer to Lexa's face.

"Lexa..." she said in a low, raspy voice once she was close enough that she could feel her warm breath. "_You_ are hot."

She looked at Lexa's lips and then again at her eyes and caught her doing the exact same thing.

Clarke bit her lower lip and looked at Lexa, whose breathing was becoming heavier as she leaned towards her and pressed her lips against hers.

The kiss was soft and slow, and it felt a bit different from the passionate ones they shared during the sex the night before and earlier that morning.

Clarke's hand was resting on Lexa's cheek and Lexa was holding her by the back of her neck, as if she was afraid to let her go.

They took their time enjoying that intimate moment and after a while they were forced to move their lips apart to fill their lungs with air.

When they opened their eyes, they were leaning forehead to forehead and their breathing was slowly calming down.

The air around them was charged with unsaid things, unexpressed feelings and so many questions they were afraid to ask. But one thing was certain - Clarke didn't want to leave and Lexa wanted her to stay.

Lexa's lips started to shake as she was trying to find the courage to transform her feelings into words.

"Clarke..." she said quietly, almost whispering. "I..."

Suddenly the moment was interrupted by the sound of Clarke's ringtone, so she reluctantly grabbed her phone and saw a French number on the screen.

"It's probably the taxi driver," she assumed and then answered the phone. "_Allô? Oui, je viens tout de suite. Merci_," she finished the conversation and looked at Lexa. "The taxi's here."

"I still don't understand why you didn't let me call the hotel driver," Lexa pouted.

"I told you, it's not a problem," Clarke smiled at Lexa's expression. "Plus, my hotel is like 5 minutes away," she said as she picked up her belongings.

"Just give me a second to put on some clothes and I'll walk you to the car," Lexa stood up and started walking in the direction of the closet, until Clarke grabbed her arm.

"Lexa..." she looked at her with a half smile on her lips. "There could be paparazzi in front of the hotel... you've worked so hard to keep your privacy."

"But..."

Clarke grabbed her face and kissed her on the lips. She then took her hand and they started walking towards the hotel room door.

Once they got there, even though they stood in silence, their eyes were speaking louder than words and they both knew that they didn't want their story to end there.

Their bodies joined in a firm, affectionate hug as if they were trying to melt into each other and now they were about the same height, with Lexa being barefoot.

"If you're ever in Spain..." Clarke whispered in her ear.

Lexa squeezed her even harder and placed her lips on Clarke's neck.

They slowly moved away from each other, pretending they didn't see the tears threatening to leave their eyes and fall down their cheeks.

Clarke turned away and opened the door.

Lexa felt a lump in her throat, knowing that she wasn't going to be able to say a word without crying and was desperately trying to hide her teary eyes behind her glasses.

She moved towards the door and held it open as Clarke stepped out of the hotel room and then turned around to face her once she was in the hallway.

"May we meet again," she said with tears in her eyes and stretched out her arm to receive Lexa's in a handshake.

Lexa swallowed hard, feeling the tears in her throat and shook Clarke's hand as she nodded.

"May we meet again," Lexa finally managed to speak, even though her voice was shaky and weak.

Clarke gave her one last smile before she walked away from her, down the hall towards the elevator.

Once she was out of sight, Lexa went back inside and closed the door behind her. The lump in her throat was now spreading into her chest and she could no longer hold back the tears, so she sat down on the floor, leaning on the door and started sobbing.

Outside the hotel, Clarke was wiping her tears off her cheeks as she was getting into the taxi. Once inside, she told the address to the driver and a little over five minutes later he dropped her off in front of her hotel.

She forced herself to stop crying and pull it together as she walked into the elevator that took her to the second floor. She knocked on the door of the hotel room nº 207 and waited for her roommate to let her in.

The door opened and she recognized the young woman she saw with Raven at the convention who greeted her as she walked out of the room.

The surprise was double when she saw another tall young woman with long sandy blonde hair and blue eyes also coming out after her, and then she finally noticed Raven behind them.

The Latina kissed both of them goodbye as Clarke observed the whole situation with a great deal of shock and amusement.

"Clarkie! Welcome back!" Raven shouted once the young women were out of their sight.

"I see you didn't miss me too much," Clarke laughed as she entered the room and started packing.

"I can't say that I did, no..." Raven smiled and winked at her. "But I'm not the one who fucked Lexa Woods! Holy shit, Clarke! Tell me everything!" she shouted with excitement as she sat on the bed.

"Raven!" Clarke knew that Raven didn't mean anything bad by it, but she was feeling too sad to even begin to talk about her time with Lexa. "I don't want to talk about it... And I didn't _fuck_ her."

"What?" Raven was now confused. "What do you mean? What were you doing all night if you weren't fucking?"

Clarke stopped what she was doing and sat on the bed, next to Raven, looking down at the floor.

"Raven... I need some time to process it all... I promise I'll tell you everything, I just..." her voice started to shake and Raven noticed the tears sliding down her cheeks.

"Hey, Clarke..." she touched her shoulder. "It's okay... I'm sorry, ok? Whatever it is, you can tell me when you're ready."

Clarke turned her head and looked at her friend who now had a worrisome expression on her face. She hugged her and once she felt the warmth of Raven's embrace, she knew that she could finally let go, so she started sobbing in her friend's arms.

"Shhh... it's going to be alright..." Raven tried to comfort her.

Couple of minutes later, Clarke was starting to calm down, so she stood up and continued packing. Raven was looking at her, unable to hide the concern written all over her face.

"I'm fine, really..." Clarke smiled at her. "I was just a bit emotional, is all. Plus, my period is on the way, so..."

"Yeah, right..." Raven was not convinced.

"Let's get going, shall we? We'll talk on the plane, I promise."

They took their luggage and checked out of the hotel.

One hour drive later, they arrived at the airport and after they dropped off the car at the rental agency, they went to the departure terminal and passed the security.

They waited about an hour and a half before boarding and in that time, Clarke told Raven about her night with Lexa over coffee and ice tea.

"So, let me get this straight... You had sex how many times exactly?" Raven was curious.

"I don't know, Ray..." Clarke laughed. "Maybe 6 times, I'm not sure."

"Holy mother of God! Horny lesbians!" they both laughed out loud.

"Raven, stop it, there's a priest sitting right behind you."

"Alright, alright..." she whispered. "Dude, is she coming to see you? I mean, you did invite her, right?"

"No... I don't know. I just said 'If you're ever in Spain...' and she didn't say anything back," Clarke said, remembering the moment. "I mean, I saw that she was tearing up, but... I don't know what she thinks about all of this, you know?"

"Clarke..." she looked her straight in the eyes. "From what you've told me, it's obvious you had an amazing connection and this wasn't just a simple one night stand... And let's not forget that you were her first crush when you were teenagers. This is faith!"

"I don't believe in faith," Clarke smiled and looked away. "We make our own destiny."

"Even better, then!" Raven exclaimed. "It means you have to do something if you want to see her again."

"Like what?" Clarke lowered her eyebrows.

"Well, you have her number, don't you? Text her," the Latina suggested.

"It's too early... I'll text her tonight when we get home," Clarke decided.

"That's my girl!" Raven was satisfied. "By the way, did you break up with Eva yet?"

Clarke covered her face with her hands and sighed.

"Ughhh... don't remind me, Ray..."

"Do you feel bad about it?"

"Honestly? No. And that made me think a lot about myself and I had this scary thought that I might turn out to be just like my father... a cheater," she tilted her head down. "Shouldn't I feel guilty about this? Why don't I?"

"No way, Clarke. You're nothing like your father," Raven shook her head. "He was cheating on your mum for a year and he denied it even when he got caught... I still don't know why she didn't kick him out... And she's hot, she could have whomever she wanted."

"Ew!" Clarke laughed. "Don't refer to my mum as hot, please."

"Alright, but you know it's true," Raven laughed as well, receiving a push on the shoulder from Clarke. "And about Eva... your relationship was over long before any of this happened... You just didn't want to see it, but it was obvious that after the first couple of months of passion, you realized that you were not a good match, yet you still tried to make it work, because that's who you are... you're not a quitter."

"I know... I've known that for a while now, but I kept thinking that it was me, you know?" Clarke admitted. "That maybe I'm too picky and that if I just relaxed, everything would fall into place..."

"Well, if you want to patch things up, there's still a chance for the two of you," she said and Clarke looked at her with a confused look in her eyes. "After all, she did give you a permission to sleep with Lexa."

Even though she couldn't get herself to laugh at Raven's intent at a joke, Clarke felt glad knowing that she could always count on Raven to cheer her up and make her feel better no matter the circumstances.

Soon they heard the announcement for the boarding and they waited in line until they passed the ticket and passport control and found their seats on the plane.

Two and a half hours later, they arrived at the airport of Málaga, picked up Raven's car from the parking and drove home.

They were home at around 9:30 pm and after a quick shower, Clarke was in her bed and she had just texted her mother and her sister to let them know that she had arrived safely. Then she looked up the photo of Lexa in her phone, the one she took on the rooftop the night before and opened the chat she had with her on WhatsApp and wrote 'Tu es magnifique' before sent her the photo.

The ticks turned blue almost instantly and Clarke smiled at the thought that maybe Lexa had been waiting for her message.

**Text message**

_Lexa:_  
"The credit goes to the talented photographer 😜 Did you have a nice flight?"

_Clarke:_  
"It was fine, no crying babies this time 😆 I'm pretty tired, though... didn't sleep a lot last night 😛"

_Lexa:_  
"Hmmm... Well, I hope whatever kept you awake was worth your while 😉"

_Clarke:_  
"Oh, no doubt about that. Sleep is overrated anyway 😎"

_Lexa:_  
"True. Although I wouldn't mind sleeping next to you 😊 Are you going to bed soon?"

_Clarke:_  
"I wouldn't mind that either... I'm already in bed, actually. What about you?"

Clarke sent Lexa a selfie of herself in bed, wearing a grey t-shirt with Captain America's shield graphic logo on the front, her right arm lifted and flexed with her forearm resting on the top of her head.

Lexa opened the photo and was immediately attracted to Clarke's sky blue eyes, giving her sexy smoldering look through her long eyelashes and as her eyes scanned Clarke's face, she anchored her attention on the cute little mole above her upper lip.

What wouldn't she give to be able to taste her soft, pink lips again.

It was only that same morning when she last had the privilege and pleasure to hold her in her arms, but to Lexa it felt like an eternity.

_Lexa:_  
😍 _TU_es magnifique!  
I'm out, we went to grab dinner with some of the crew from the show.

Lexa then sent Clarke a mirror selfie she had just taken in what seemed to be a hallway or a hotel lobby and she looked absolutely stunning.

She was wearing a black high waist mid-thigh skirt revealing her smooth long legs, and a white sleevless top tucked inside the skirt.

Clarke's eyes widened and her heart rate increased as soon as she saw the photo and she knew right there and then that what they had in Paris was definitely not just a one night stand.

At least not for her.

_Clarke:_  
"Wow! 😍 And suddenly I'm wide awake 😄"

_Lexa:_  
"🤭🤭 You have to go to work tomorrow! Go to sleep 😉"

_Clarke:_  
"I'm three years older than you, young lady... where are your manners? 🧐"

_Lexa:_  
"Age ain't nothing but a number 😎"

_Clarke:_  
"Did you just quote Aaliyah? 😮"

_Lexa:_  
"The one and only 👑"

_Clarke:_  
"😘 Goodnight, Lexa."

_Lexa:_  
"Goodnight, Clarke. Sleep well 😘"

Clarke took one more look at Lexa's selfie before closing her eyes and travelled back to that hotel room in Paris to relive their time together in her dreams.


	11. Back to reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke is back and she's meeting Eva after work to have "the talk". Also, there are some new developments in the dynamics between Raven and Octavia.

Clarke's first day at work after her surreal experience in Paris started in the Conference Room at the Traumatology ward, listening to Octavia's presentation of a clinical case about a pacient who suffered a traumatic shoulder injury, treated successfully with Platelet rich plasma (PRP) after a lack of response to the standard physiotherapy.

She had texted Eva earlier that morning asking her to meet up for lunch after work and her phone vibrated just when Octavia was about to finish her presentation, so Clarke took it out of the pocket of her white coat and unlocked the screen.

**Text messages**

_Eva:_  
"What the fuck happened to you, Clarke? I haven't heard from you since Sunday evening and now you want to talk?"

_Clarke:_  
"I told you I didn't want to talk over the phone and that I'd see you when I got back. I'm here now, so could we please meet after work?"

_Eva:_  
"I don't understand what's going on, really. If this is you punishing me because of our little 'fight' on Friday... that would be very childish of you, Clarke."

Clarke exhaled as the tension built up inside of her because of Eva's words. She was sick of that kind of condescending behavior and was shocked that her girlfriend didn't seem to know her at all. Clarke would never disappear on her like that just because of some stupid fight, she was not that immature and the fact that Eva thought that little of her was another confirmation that their relationship was definitely over.

She took a few deep breaths and started typing again.

_Clarke:_  
"Eva, please. Let's talk and I'll explain everything. Meet me at the Trocadero Arena at 4:15 pm?"

_Eva:_  
"Fine."

That was when Octavia finished her presentation, so the residents and specialists applauded and congratulated her before exiting the Conference room to go on with their duties for the day.

Clarke approached the desk and waited for Octavia to turn off the computer before hugging her.

"That was amazing, O! Congratulations!" she said as she stepped back and looked her in the eyes.

"Thank you!" Octavia smiled. "Did I look nervous? Because I almost pooped my pants."

"Oh, that's what that smell was," Clarke laughed and received a push on the shoulder. "You seemed very chill and professional, don't worry."

"Good," Octavia exhaled and started walking towards the door. "Do you have time for a quick coffee? I need to hear all about Paris!"

"Sorry, no... I have to go, Dr. Álvarez is waiting for me to do the rounds together and then I have to write two discharge reports before scrubbing in on a hip replacement surgery."

"Let's grab lunch after work, then?"

"Can't... I'm meeting Eva," she declined and Octavia couldn't help but notice the sad expression on her face.

"Is... is everything alright?" she asked as she touched Clarke's arm, stopping in the middle of the hallway.

"Not really, no..." Clarke felt that she wanted to tell her everything, especially after she saw the concern in her friend's eyes. "I can't talk about it now, but how about you stop by at the apartment later tonight and we can hang out? Plus, Raven has a lot to tell about her crazy night in Paris."

A strange, unknown feeling invaded Octavia's chest and it was almost as if she couldn't breathe while she was trying to process the information regarding Raven.

She was surprised by the impact the Latina had on her, without even being present. Octavia couldn't help but wonder why her body reacted the way it did and she desperately wanted to know what Clarke meant by 'crazy night'.

Did Raven get drunk and passed out on the toilet seat?

Or did she make out with some French girl?

Or with some guy?

And why should any of that matter to her anyway?

It's not like she... liked Raven.

Or did she?

She hadn't been interested in anyone in a while and was slowly coming to the realization that the kiss they shared two months ago may not had been as innocent and meaningless as she originally thought.

The flow of her thoughts was suddenly interrupted by Clarke who was waving her hand in front of Octavia's face, trying to get her attention.

"Hello? Where did you go?"

"Oh, sorry..." she quickly snapped out of it and smiled. "Yes, I'll be there. Is 8 pm good for you?"

"Perfect. See you tonight," Clarke smiled back as she walked away from Octavia and entered the meeting room where her mentor was already waiting for her to start their day.

Octavia tried to shake off the confusion she had created in her head and went to the cafeteria to grab a cup of coffee before heading downstairs to the external consultation area.

The day went by quickly and Clarke was already on her way to the restaurant where Eva had agreed to meet her.

She arrived there early, since it was only 5 minutes away from the hospital and she parked the motorcycle before entering the establishment.

It was a cozy, seaside restaurant that retained the essence of a chiringuito, located in the Río Real beach area.

That was actually the restaurant where Clarke and Eva had their first lunch together and they had been frequent customers since then because of the great atmosphere and the culinary options, based on ingredients with a prominent Mediterranean touch and enhanced by significant Asian influence. There was enough choice for meat lovers like Eva, but also for Clarke who could enjoy the variety of rice and vegetable dishes.

Clarke was the first one to arrive, so she texted Eva after she was seated at a table outside on the terrace, with a magnificent view of the sea.

**Text messages**

_Clarke:_  
"I'm on the terrace, on the left."

She received a message from Eva about 5 minutes later.

_Eva:_  
"I just parked the car. I'll be there in a minute."

Clarke was starting to feel nervous, since it was the first time she was going to see Eva after spending the night with someone else.

And that was when it really hit her - she had cheated on her girlfriend and it didn't matter who it was with, it still made her a cheater. Something that she had promised to herself that she would never do, especially after she saw the great deal of pain her mother went through when she found out about her husband's infidelity. She had never seen her mother so broken and even though she had eventually managed to overcome the betrayal with therapy and antidepressants, Clarke believed that there was a part of her mother that was lost forever.

However, she was aware that her relationship with Eva was nothing like her parents' and that meeting Lexa and feeling what she felt was just the culmination of something that had been hidden underneath the surface for a long time.

The truth was that she wasn't in love with Eva and she would've broken things off sooner or later, it just happened so that the incredible night she spent in Paris was the push she needed to accelerate the process.

Could she have done things differently, and by doing so, avoid the messy break up?

Probably, yes.

But, then again, it was impossible to do everything right and handle the situation in a way that no one would get hurt.

Clarke took a decision in Paris to follow her heart and she didn't regret it, and even if it meant that it was not the moral thing to do, she definitely felt that it was the right one.

While she was going through the emotions, she saw Eva approaching the table where she was seated, so she automatically stood up to welcome her.

Eva had a serious look on her face, but she still made the effort and greeted Clarke with a kiss on the cheek.

She sat down across from her and the waiter approached them before they were able to exchange any words. They ordered right away, since there were regulars there and basically knew the menu by heart.

And then it was time to break the silence.

"So..." Clarke was first to talk after the waiter had taken their order and left. "How was your day?"

"Pretty shitty," Eva was not going to make it easy for Clarke.

"Alright," Clarke knew that she needed to skip the chit chat and get to the point fast. "I'll just cut to the chase, then."

"That would be appreciated, yes."

"I'd like to start by apologizing," she said and looked Eva in the eyes. "I'm sorry about how I handled things... I shouldn't have sent you that text on Sunday evening and leave you hanging like that the next day... For that, I am truly sorry."

"Thank you," Eva accepted the apology, but it was obvious that she was still very mad at Clarke. "It was over the top dramatic, Clarke... I mean, one of the worst things you can do to someone is to say 'We need to talk' and then disappear."

"I know, I'm sorry..." Clarke was aware of the mistake she'd made and was feeling remorseful. "I shouldn't have done that and I have no excuse for it."

Eva saw the sincerity in Clarke's eyes and was starting to feel a bit more relaxed.

In that moment, the waiter approached the table again and brought her the drinks they had ordered and some tapas.

After he had left, Clarke decided to continue the conversation.

"However..." she said and Eva gave her a curious look. "We still need to talk... about us."

Eva took a sip of her drink and looked again at Clarke with a mixture or surprise and concern.

"About us? About what happened on Friday night?"

"No... Yes. I mean, yes and no," she said and saw the confusion emerge on Eva's face. "What I meant was that what happened on Friday was just the tip of the iceberg... Things haven't been right between us for a while now."

"Alright," Eva was still not sure what Clarke was referring to. "Could you be more specific?"

"Well, it's a lot of small things, actually, that have led me to the conclusion that this is not working anymore..."

"What do you mean? What things? Are you breaking up with me?" Eva was shocked, she really didn't expect the conversation to go in that direction.

Clarke's eyes were starting to tear up, after all it was not like she didn't have any feelings for Eva and the whole situation was not easy for either of them.

She looked down and Eva saw a tear going down her cheek.

"Clarke?" she tried to get her attention.

Clarke wiped off the tear and forced herself to face Eva again.

"Let's..." she said with a shaky voice. "Let's eat first and we'll talk later, ok?"

Eva felt a pressure in her chest and her heart was beating faster as the thought of losing Clarke crossed her mind. She didn't see it coming, she actually thought Clarke was going to apologize for her behavior and they would patch things up as they always did and things would go back to normal.

"Eat?" she asked and raised her eyebrows. "How do you expect me to do that after dropping a bomb like this? What's going on, Clarke?"

Clarke knew she was right, it's not like she would've been able to swallow anything anyway, feeling a huge lump in her throat.

"Eva..." she finally built up the courage to go through with it. "I don't think we should be together anymore..."

Eva was sitting still, her mouth slightly open due to the shock she felt hearing those dreadful words come out of her girlfriend's mouth and her eyes started to tear up as she processed the reality of the moment.

In that moment the food they had ordered earlier was brought to the table, but Clarke and Eva didn't break the intense eye contact.

After the waiter left, they continued the conversation.

"Don't you..." her voice failed her in the middle of the sentence, so she cleared her throat before she continued. "Don't you love me anymore?"

Clarke couldn't hold back the tears. She saw the pain she was inflicting on Eva, and even though she knew it was something that had to be done, it didn't make it less painful for any of them.

"Of course I do, I care about you a lot... I just... I'm not _in love_ with you."

A few tears made their way down Eva's cheeks as well and she quickly wiped them off with the back of her hand.

"Is there someone else?" she managed to ask.

There it was.

The question Clarke was hoping she'd never have to answer.

She looked at Eva's teary eyes, and just couldn't bear to cause her even more suffering than she already had. She decided right there and then that it was for the best that she didn't know about Lexa, after all, she was not the reason for the overdue break up.

"No," she said finally. "It's not that... It's just that we're too different and I think that if you're truly honest with yourself, you'll agree that we're just not compatible and I'm sure at some point you've felt it, too..."

"Oh, no, no... You don't get to tell me how I feel, Clarke..." Eva's behavior suddenly changed to a more aggressive one. "This is bullshit! We were doing fine and then you go off to Paris for a weekend and suddenly we're not compatible anymore? Oh, come on! Who did you fuck there? Was it Raven? Ha? Did she finally confess that she's been in love with you all along?"

Clarke couldn't believe what she was hearing. Eva was not only unwilling to admit that they had been having problems in their relationship long before Paris, but she was also accusing her of sleeping with her best friend.

"What are you talking about?" she raised her voice. "We were not doing fine and maybe you've been avoiding it, just like I have and now we're here... where we should've been months ago... And I can't believe all that nonsense you said about Raven! She's like my sister and the fact that you even thought that she could ever be anything other than that is very offensive to the both of us."

"Whatever, Clarke..." Eva was too angry to admit that even though she did feel jealous of the connection that Clarke had with Raven, deep down she knew that her accusations were unfounded. "It doesn't matter anyway," she said as she reached inside her bag, took some money out of her wallet and put it on the table. "You've made your decision and you've left no room for negotiation... Goodbye, Clarke..." she stood up and walked away from the table, leaving the restaurant without looking back.

Everything happened so fast that Clarke didn't even get the chance to stop Eva from paying and leaving. She knew that her (now ex) girlfriend had a temper, but she was hoping for a better ending, at least one where Eva didn't end up hating her.

Clarke didn't feel emotionally ready to leave the restaurant and drive so she grabbed her phone and called the one person she could always rely on.

**Phone call**

_Raven:_  
"Clarkie! What's up?"

_Clarke:_  
"Hey, Ray..." her voice was still a bit shaky.

_Raven:_  
"Clarke? You ok?"

_Clarke:_  
"I... I just broke up with Eva," she said and her eyes teared up again.

_Raven:_  
"Fuck. Where are you? I'm coming there."

_Clarke:_  
"Trocadero Arena... Sitting at a table full of untouched food. I hope you're hungry."

_Raven:_  
"Always. I'll be there in 10 minutes."

_Clarke:_  
"Ok, see you soon... and Raven?"

_Raven:_  
"Yeah?"

_Clarke:_  
"Thank you."

_Raven:_  
"What for? I'm the one getting a free meal."

Clarke laughed for the first time after her encounter with Eva and she was reminded once again how lucky she was to have a friend like Raven.

* * *

After finishing their meals, the roommates took a walk on the beach and they talked about the recent changes in Clarke's life before going home. She felt a lot better and was ready to share the whole story with Octavia later at their place.

It was quarter to eight in the evening and Clarke and Raven were listening to some music while drinking beer on the balcony. They heard the doorbell and Clarke went to the intercom to buzz Octavia in.

Shortly after, she opened the door and was pleasantly surprised to see that she had brought her dog as well, and even though Clarke was more of a cat lover, she really loved Octavia's companion.

"Hey, Maki! Who's my good boy?" she knelt to cuddle the big hound once they were in the living room and Maki responded by enthusiastically waving his tail. "You're early, even for you," Clarke commented as she looked up at Octavia.

Octavia was known for her punctuality, unlike most Spanish people, yet it was still a bit odd she had arrived fifteen minutes early.

"That's because she couldn't stay another minute away from me, am I right?" Raven entered the living room and quickly scanned Octavia who was wearing khaki high waist linen shorts and a white slim fit top tucked inside, the slim straps revealing her toned shoulders.

Her appreciation of Octavia's body was interrupted by Maki who started running towards Raven, who bent her knees and received him with a hug and a huge smile. It didn't take long for them to end up on the ground with Maki licking Raven's face.

Octavia's lips stretched into a smile as she was watching them play on the ground, with a glow in her eyes, transmitting the warm feeling that was being generated in her chest.

"I don't think it's Octavia who missed you, Ray..." Clarke stood up and Octavia gave her the six pack of beer she had brought. "Mmm _Estrella Galicia_! Raven's favorite."

"Oh... Mine as well..." Octavia blushed because she was well aware that the Latina loved that beer.

"Let's give them some privacy," Clarke suggested and Octavia followed her to the balcony.

Couple of minutes later Raven joined them and Octavia was soon filled in on the details of their weekend in Paris.

"Are you serious?" she stared at Clarke, looking shocked and amused at the same time. "What happened after you left her hotel room?"

"I went back to our hotel... oh, and listen to this! I knock on the door and..." Clarke looked at Raven who choked on her beer when she realized what her roommate was about to say. "Ray, do you want to tell it yourself?"

"There's nothing to tell," she replied in a neutral tone after clearing her throat.

Octavia looked at her and couldn't help but feel curious, even though she knew it might not be something she'd enjoy hearing.

"Oh, come on! Don't be shy," Octavia tried to get Raven to tell her story.

"I'm not being shy, it's just not that interesting," the Latina took another sip and avoided any eye contact.

"I highly doubt that," Octavia insisted. "Clarke, you tell it."

"Ray, may I?" Clarke looked at Raven waiting for an approval.

"Go ahead," Raven smiled and agreed as she finished the bottle of beer and opened another one.

"So..." Clarke continued. "While I was with Lexa, Raven had a date with a young woman she met at the convention... The next morning I get back to the hotel, knock on the door and instead of Raven, I see her date coming out of the room... I say hi and as I'm about to go inside, there's suddenly another woman coming out of there and finally I see Raven behind her with a huge smile on her face as she steps out to the hallway to kiss them goodbye," Clarke was laughing as she finished the story.

Octavia's nervousness was increasing with each new detail that was being revealed by Clarke and by the end of the story she was absolutely sure that the strange feeling of pressure inside her chest was pure jealousy. She couldn't bear the thought of someone touching Raven, and the idea of her enjoying the night with not one, but two attractive French women was driving her insane.

Nevertheless, she managed to fake a smile, hoping that she wasn't being too obvious.

"Wow! It looks like your prediction came true! Clarke slept with Lexa and you had a threesome," she tried to sound as enthusiastic as possible.

"Next time you should come along and I'll hook you up with someone as well," Raven responded when she saw how amused Octavia was by the whole thing and she sort of felt a bit disappointed that she didn't seem to be not even a tiny bit jealous.

"You're quite the match maker, Reyes..." Octavia was actively trying to keep the smile on her face. "But I won't be needing your services after all... I actually met someone."

"When? How? Who is it?" Clarke was excited to find out more about her friend's potential love interest, while Raven couldn't hide her uneasiness as she kept her eyes on Octavia without saying a word.

"It's umm... I don't know if you remember when Juanmi wanted me to meet his friend Ricky about two months ago? Ricardo?" Clarke shook her head, indicating that she had no memory of that. "Never mind..." Octavia continued. "Well, he moved here around that time and Juanmi told me that he'd seen me in some of the photos from your birthday party on Facebook and wanted to meet me."

"So you've been seeing him since then?" Clarke asked, sounding very surprised and Raven's eyes got bigger in expectation of the answer.

"No, no... We had our first date this weekend and he seems really nice," she answered.

"That's great, O! I can't remember the last time you wanted to see someone again after the first date," Clarke was genuinely happy for her friend. "Right, Ray?"

"Yeah, sounds great..." she sounded annoyed as she leaned towards the floor to stroke Maki's head.

"Anyway..." Octavia changed the subject. "You saw Eva today, right? Did you tell her?"

"No..." Clarke's expression changed when she remembered the lunch with her ex girlfriend.

"Are you going to? I mean, I know she kind of gave you 'permission' to sleep with Lexa, but it was more like a joke, right?" Octavia inquired.

"No, I'm not going to tell her," Clarke replied in a sad tone. "And yes, I believe it was a joke, but it doesn't matter because I would never cheat on anyone I'm in love with, anyway..."

"But..." Octavia was confused. "What are you saying?"

Clarke exhaled before answering.

"I broke up with Eva."

"Fuck, Clarke... I'm sorry," Octavia hugged her.

"Thanks, O..." she whispered in her friend's ear and then moved away from her. "It was the right thing to do... I'm just not in love with her."

"I must admit I've been suspecting it for a while, but.. you know..." she confessed. "What about Lexa?"

"What about her?"

"Are you in love with her?" Octavia asked.

"I..." Clarke smiled involuntarily at the thought of Lexa. "My head's a mess right now, to be honest... but what I know is that we had an amazing connection and I would love to see her again."

"I bet you'd like to do a lot more than just _see _her, Clarkie..." Raven joined the conversation with a witty remark.

They all laughed and took another sip before resuming the conversation.

"Have you been in touch with her since then?" Octavia continued with the questions.

"Yes, we texted yesterday when I got home..." Clarke couldn't help but smile, she was unable to control her facial expressions when she was thinking about Lexa. "And today, on Instagram, I saw that she posted the photo I took of her on our date... the one with the fireworks in the back... And wrote a caption _C'est magnifique.__"_

"She's thinking about you, Clarke!" Octavia exclaimed. "Fuck, it's so intense... you have to invite her to come here."

"I want to..." Clarke smiled. "I think I'll do it, I just... I'll wait until after the San Diego Comic Con."

Octavia looked at Raven, waiting for her to come up with some funny comment, but it seemed that the Latina was not paying a lot of attention to the conversation and was submerged in her own thoughts.

"Alright then," Octavia said as she finished her beer and stood up. "It's so late already... Come on, Maki, it's time to go," she finally got Raven's attention who cuddled the dog one more time before standing up as well.

"There was a lot to catch up on," Clarke smiled and joined them as the all walked into the living room.

They said their goodbyes and after Octavia and Maki left, Clarke decided to ask Raven about her odd behavior as they were cleaning up the empty bottles and plates.

"Ray... is everything alright with you?"

"Yes, of course..." Raven replied quickly without stopping what she was doing. "Why do you ask?"

"I don't know, you seemed a bit distant tonight. You're sure you're ok?"

"Positive," Raven winked at her and decided to keep her secret to herself.

The secret that had been eating her up inside for the last two months, more specifically since Clarke's birthday party, when she realized that she had a huge crush on Octavia - a straight woman who would never think of her as anything else but an experiment she liked to perform under the influence of alcohol.

Meanwhile, Octavia was walking back home with the phone in her hands, typing a text message to her cousin Juanmi.

**Text messages**

_Octavia:_  
"Hey, Juanmi. Does your friend Ricky still want to meet me?"

_Juanmi:_  
"Absolutely. We had drinks last week and he asked if you're still single. Why? Did you change your mind?"

_Octavia:_  
"I did. You can give him my phone number."

_Juanmi:_  
"Awesome! He'll be thrilled. He's a great guy, O... I think you'll really hit it off."

"I'm sure he's a great guy..." she thought. "But he's not Raven."

She put away the phone in her pocket and continued walking, rewinding the story about Raven's threesome in her head on the way home.


	12. Ricky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Octavia goes out on a date with Ricky. Clarke and Lexa have their first video call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for checking out my story! I love reading your comments, so just keep them up, pls 😉
> 
> P.S. I'm introducing a new character Ricky, or as we know him from "The 100" - Lincoln.

It was Wednesday morning and Clarke was enjoying a cup of tea on the terrace of the hospital's cafeteria when she noticed the notification light on her phone.

She was thrilled to see that it was Lexa, sending her a photo of what seemed to be an airport hallway with empty seats on the left and empty cafeteria chairs on the right. Through the windows she could see that it was dark outside, so she assumed that she must've just arrived to San Diego, and it made her feel special, knowing that Lexa texted her practically the moment she walked out of the plane. 

_ **Text message** _

_Lexa:_  
"Greetings from San Diego! 🖐️ It was a loooooong flight. 😩 How's your morning so far?"

_Clarke:_  
"My morning just went from good to amazing, thanks to you 😉 It's almost midnight there, right? I hope the jet lag won't hit you too hard."

_Lexa:_  
"Nah, it's worse when I fly east... tonight I'll fall asleep quickly, but I might wake up sooner, it's what usually happens when I fly west. So you can expect a few more texts from me today 😜"

Clarke was smiling at her phone while reading the messages and she was glad that she was alone at the table and could give her undivided attention to Lexa.

Before she could reply, she received another message.

_Lexa:_  
"Oh, sorry, I didn't answer. It's 11:45 pm here, yes."

_Clarke:_  
"I can think of other ways to keep you busy after your early awakening, but texting will have to do... for now 😏 I'm doing a 24-hour shift today anyway, so no sleep for me either."

_Lexa:_  
"Mmm... how about a video call from the on-call room later and you tell me all about it? 😉 If you're not too busy, of course."

_Clarke:_  
"Is this you trying to see me in my uniform, Ms. Woods? 😝"

_Lexa:_  
"😳 Busted."

_Clarke:_  
"😆 I'd like that. Let me know when you wake up and I'll see if I can sneak off."

_Lexa:_  
"Great! Looking forward to it 😊 Goodnight 😘"

_Clarke:_  
"Me too 😊 Goodnight, Lexa 😘"

Clarke locked the screen and put away the phone in her pocket, keeping the huge smile on her face. As she was about to leave, she almost bumped into Eva who was going in the opposite direction with some of her colleagues.

"Eva... umm... sorry," she apologized quickly when their eyes met.

Eva didn't say anything, her face didn't show any type of emotion as she looked away and moved around Clarke to join the other residents who were about to take a seat at one of the tables.

"Yup, I deserved that..." Clarke said to herself in a low voice and nodded as she walked out of the cafeteria and took the stairs to the Traumatology ward.

* * *

It was almost 8 pm and Octavia was walking by the beach along _Paseo Marítimo_ with her dog Maki.

She had agreed to meet Ricky in a tapas bar/restaurant called _The Boardwalk_ and she had mixed feelings about it, even considering to make an excuse and cancel the date as she was approaching the location.

Since the night before, she hadn't been able to stop thinking about Raven and she desperately needed a distraction, which is why she had gladly accepted Ricky's invitation.

The thought of Raven's threesome crossed her mind again and that was the extra push she needed to take the last few steps towards the entrance of the bar.

There she saw a tall handsome man who looked a lot like her date's profile picture on WhatsApp.

He was wearing a dark khaki t-shirt, rather tight in the upper part, drawing attention to his broad shoulders, in combination with black slim-fit ankle length jeans, white low top shoes and black baseball cap.

Ricky was around 1,85cm tall, well built and dark-skinned, and he had a black beard that was in contrast with his perfect white teeth which he proudly displayed the moment he laid his chocolate brown eyes on Octavia.

"Hey!" he greeted her when she approached him and gave her a kiss on each cheek.

"Hi," Octavia smiled back.

"I see you brought your bodyguard," he looked at Maki and leaned over, bending his knees with the intention to get closer to the dog. "May I?"

"Sure, he doesn't bite," Octavia said and Ricky started stroking Maki's head.

"He's adorable!" he said as he looked up at Octavia. "What's his name?"

"Maki."

"Good boy," he gave one last stroke to the dog's head and stood up to face Octavia. "Should we grab a table?"

"Sure," Octavia agreed and they sat at a table on the bar's terrace.

"I was really happy when Juanmi gave me your number," Ricky was not shy to show his interest in Octavia, who gave him a timid smile as a response to his advances.

"How did the two of you meet anyway?" she inquired.

"At the gym," he replied quickly. "It was about 3-4 months ago, when I moved here and we hit it off immediately, actually... He's a great guy."

"I can tell you spend a lot of time at the gym," Octavia raised an eyebrow as she lowered her eyes to Ricky's toned biceps.

"I'll take that as a compliment," he laughed and Octavia joined him as the waiter approached them and took their order.

"Where did you move from?" she continued with the questions.

"I'm from Cuba," he answered. "I got a job here at a private clinic as a physiotherapist... Juanmi tells me you're specializing in Traumatology..." Octavia nodded. "Do you like it?"

"Very much, yes."

"What else do you enjoy doing?"

The waiter brought the drinks and tapas they had ordered before and then they continued getting to know each other over food and beer.

Octavia was surprised at the easiness to maintain a conversation with the good-looking Cuban and she even managed to get Raven out of her mind, something she hadn't been able to do in a long time.

Ricky was well-mannered and charming, and Octavia felt relaxed in his company.

As they were exiting the bar, she was sure she wouldn't mind seeing him again, until...

Maki suddenly pulled on the leash and tried to jump on the jogger who was passing them by.

Octavia was dragged by the dog, which got the runner's attention who stopped and turned around at the time they crashed into each other.

Once they caught their balance, Octavia was astonished when she recognized the russet brown eyes staring at her in disbelief.

The moment was interrupted by Maki, who started jumping around them, seeking attention.

"Ra... Raven... hi," Octavia managed to speak as she moved away from the Latina.

"Who's my good boy?" Raven smiled and started cuddling the dog before she looked up and faced Octavia again. "Hey, Octavia."

That was when Ricky came closer and greeted Raven, making eye contact with her. She recognized him immediately, since she had found his Facebook profile on Juanmi's list of friends the night before, right after she and Clarke had finished cleaning up.

"Hey, it looks like he likes you a lot," he said with a smile on his face.

"We go way back," Raven smiled back.

Octavia was a bit confused and uncomfortable with the situation, she hadn't imagined having both of them in front of her at the same time, especially not after her first date with Ricky.

She decided to make the introduction to minimize the weirdness of the moment.

"Ricky, this is Raven," she looked at her date and then at the Latina. "Raven, I'd like you to meet Ricky."

"Hey," Ricky came closer and greeted Raven with a kiss on each cheek. "I like your name!"

"Thanks," Raven accepted the compliment and she wished Ricky hadn't been so nice to her, so she'd have an excuse to hate him. "Sorry, I'm a bit sweaty."

"Don't worry about it, I sweat all the time, even without running," he smiled.

"Yeah, I should get back to it," she said and looked at Octavia who had been scanning her body the entire time.

Raven was wearing black and white Adidas running shorts, white sports bra and white running shoes of the same brand. Her skin was dark and sweaty, making her muscles pop out, especially her abs, which is where Octavia's eyes were drawn to immediately.

Octavia suddenly felt Raven's eyes on her and looked up to face her. Raven smiled when their eyes met and then she put back the earbuds she had taken out of her ears earlier.

"Have a great evening," she said as she stroked Maki's head one last time before she started running away from them.

Octavia couldn't take her eyes off of her, and for a second she got lost in the movements of Raven's buttocks, until Ricky got her attention.

"Do you want to go to another bar, maybe? Or take a walk?" he politely asked.

"Um... I have to go home, actually... I work in the morning," she declined.

"Of course," he smiled at her. "Would you let me walk you home, then?"

"Alright, sure..." she accepted the kind offer.

They walked about twenty minutes before arriving to Octavia's apartment building. In that time it was Ricky who did most of the talking and the brunette's sudden quietness didn't go unnoticed by him.

"Are you okay?" he inquired as they stood in front of the building.

"Huh? Yes, why?" Octavia was not expecting that kind of question.

"It's just that your demeanor changed completely after we ran into your friend Raven... or is she maybe something more to you?"

"What?" she was shocked at Ricky's observation. "Why would you say that?"

"I don't know... I'm sorry if I misread the situation," he said as he raised his hands up in surrender. "I just felt some energy between the two of you."

Octavia blushed, feeling completely exposed, but somehow it felt weirdly good to have her feelings acknowledged, even by someone she had just met a few hours ago. She got the sense that she could trust that person standing in front of her and he felt like the perfect candidate to share her secret.

She figured she might as well be completely honest with him before considering a second date, if he'd still be interested in having one, of course.

"No, you're right... There is... was something between us, I mean, it never actually happened, you know... except that one time, it was a drunken kiss, but she doesn't... I don't..." Octavia was struggling to put her feelings into words. "It's just that she's a free spirit, I've never seen her in love, she doesn't do commitments..."

"And would you like her to be committed to you?"

"I've never been attracted to... Anyone like this before..." Octavia sighed. "I was scared when I started feeling things for her... but I knew I couldn't just be with her once and then watch her jump to the next flower, you know?" she looked at Ricky with sadness in her eyes. "I'm sorry, this is probably not the way you imagined this date would end."

"You're right about that," he smiled. "But this is even better."

"What do you mean?" Octavia was confused.

"You've given me complete honesty and that is something very rare to find," he explained with kindness in his eyes. "Look, I understand that you haven't gotten over her and that's not going to happen overnight... But, if you'd let me, I'd like to be here when it does. I had a great time with you today and I'd like to keep seeing you."

"Wow..." Octavia couldn't believe her ears. "I didn't expect that... Juanmi was right about you."

"What did he say?"

"That you were a great guy," she smiled at him.

"He's quite the wing-man," he laughed out loud. "So, what do you say, Octavia? Would you give me... us... a chance? Let me take you out on a second date."

"Yes," she agreed and hugged Ricky, who leaned towards her to minimize the height difference. "Goodnight," she kissed him on the cheek and entered the building with her dog by her side.

"Goodnight, Octavia..." Ricky's smile was wide as he watched Octavia disappear behind the entrance door. 

* * *

_A few hours earlier..._

Clarke had just finished the first 8 hours of her 24-hour shift and was headed to the cafeteria to grab some lunch.

On the way up she ran into Juanmi, who was waiting for his girlfriend Luna to go home together.

"Hey you," he greeted Clarke. "You're not leaving yet?"

"Hey! No, I'm on call until tomorrow morning," she replied. "Do you know if Octavia left already?"

"Yes, she did... I think she's a bit nervous, so she left as soon as she was done with the last patient."

"Nervous? Why?"

"Well, it's her first date with Ricky today," he replied. "Didn't she tell you?"

"Oh, right, yeah... I forgot," Clarke lied. "I gotta go, I'm starving..." she smiled at Juanmi and started walking towards the elevator.

"Bye!" Juanmi waved at her and checked his phone as Clarke walked away.

She had her suspicions about that whole Ricky thing, and now she was even more certain that Octavia hadn't told her everything. But Clarke was not an intrusive person and she always waited for people to confide in her, without pressuring them and without asking too many questions. And they did, eventually, considering the fact that she was a great listener, her friends would always come to her for an advice, especially because she knew how to help without any judgement on her part. It's just that sometimes people first needed to deal with the problem themselves before turning to Clarke, and she knew how to respect that. Especially with Octavia and Raven, who were quite similar in that matter and she had taken over the role of an observer, noticing the change in the energy between her two friends over the last couple of months.

For now she had decided to stay on the outside, but still close enough in case they needed her, in which case she would do anything in her power to make them feel safe and supported.

After finishing lunch, she was leaving the cafeteria when she felt her phone vibrate and her heart rate increased instantly, expecting to see Lexa's name on the screen.

And sure enough, there it was, a message from the stunning brunette, asking her about her day.

**Text message:**

_Lexa:_  
"Good morning, Clarke. Busy day?"

_Clarke:_  
"Good afternoon, sleepyhead 😜 Not really, no... just had lunch. Did you sleep well?"

_Lexa:_  
"Hey, I'm an early bird, thank you very much! 😁 It's only 8 am! 😝 I did, yes. I'm rested and ready for our video call 😇"

_Clarke:_  
"True, true 😊 I'm on my way to the on-call room. Should I just call you when I get there?"

_Lexa:_  
"Great! 😃 Yes, I'll be waiting."

_Clarke:_  
"Ok, talk to you soon 😊"

Couple of minutes later, Clarke opened the door and entered the room that was reserved for doctors who were doing 24-hour shifts.

It was a simple room with bright yellow walls, a single bed with a thin mattress, a small desk and a chair right next to it, and a window with an amazing view of the sea. The space was small, but cosy enough to rest during the long shifts, plus it had a private bathroom with a shower, which Clarke normally used after the prolonged emergency surgeries she sometimes had to perform.

Her nervousness was building up as she went to the bathroom and took a look in the mirror to check if she looked presentable before making the call.

She wasn't wearing a lot of make up, just some foundation and concealer under her eyes, as well as mascara for some extra volume of her eyelashes. Not that she needed any of that, having the skin of a baby, at least that's what everyone had always told her, even in her teenage years when she barely had any pimples or other skin irregularities and she couldn't help but feel very grateful for it.

She fixed her hair a little bit before leaving the bathroom and then sat on the bed, holding the phone in her hands.

Clarke took couple of deep breaths in order to regulate the slight tachycardia she was experiencing at the moment as she opening the chat with Lexa and she finally pushed the button to establish a video call.

Two dial tones later, she saw Lexa's face on the screen and her lips stretched into a genuine smile.

Lexa's hair was wavy and a bit messy, the good kind of messy, and she was wearing her eyeglasses.

**Video call**

_Clarke:_  
"Hi!"

Clarke smiled at the camera.

_Lexa:_  
"Hi!"

Lexa's eyes were a bit swollen, but Clarke thought she looked adorable in that sleepy mood and was pleasantly surprised when Lexa blew a kiss to the camera.

Clarke did the same and Lexa smiled at her.

_Clarke:_  
"I'm so happy to see you... you look so cute."

_Lexa:_  
"I was going to put on my contact lenses, but my eyes feel tired... plus, I know you think I'm sexy with the glasses on."

_Clarke:_  
"Oh, yes. A major turn on."

Clarke moved her eyebrows up and down playfully and they both laughed timidly.

_Lexa:_  
"Let me see your uniform."

Clarke stretched her arm, moving the phone away from her face and she turned the camera to her body.

Underneath the white coat, she was was wearing a simple white t-shirt and black slim-fit jeans, completing the outfit with white tennis shoes.

Lexa frowned, as she was expecting to see Clarke in blue scrubs from head to toes, like she was used to seeing on TV.

_Lexa:_  
"Heeey, where are your scrubs?"

Clarke laughed out loud and moved the camera back to her face.

_Clarke:_  
"Here we only use them in surgery... otherwise it's whatever you want to wear under the white coat."

Lexa pouted her lips, expressing her disappointment.

_Lexa:_  
"Oh, come on... it's not fair."

_Clarke:_  
"I'm sorry... I'll get some scrubs from the surgery area later and I'll put them on next time, how does that sound?"

Lexa's lips curled into a smile so big, that she looked like a child who had just been given the newest, shiniest toy in the world.

_Lexa:_  
"That sounds perfect."

Clarke couldn't take her eyes off of Lexa, she was completely captivated by every single thing she did or said.

_Clarke:_  
"What are you going to do today?"

_Lexa:_  
"Nothing much, actually... I plan on staying in bed, need to get my beauty sleep, maybe order some room service later... I have a photoshoot and some interviews tomorrow, so I need to relax today."

_Clarke:_  
"Damn..."

_Lexa:_  
"What?"

_Clarke:_  
"It's just that... If I were there, I could help you relax for your big day tomorrow..."

_Lexa:_  
"Yeah? What did you have in mind?"

Clarke smiled seductively and bit her lower lip before speaking.

_Clarke:_  
"Well... Do you have a bathtub?"

_Lexa:_  
"I do."

_Clarke:_  
"I'd make you a bubble bath... I'd take off your clothes and watch you get in the bathtub. Then I'd take off my clothes before I join you and I'd sit behind you, with my legs wide open to let you lean on me..."

Lexa's eyes became darker as she was listening to the erotic content coming out of Clarke's mouth in a low, raspy voice that made her incredibly horny. She was focused on her sexy lips and the cute little mole right above her upper lip that was driving her crazy.

_Clarke:_  
"Would you like that?"

Lexa swallowed hard before answering, which made Clarke laugh.

_Lexa:_  
"I would LOVE that, Clarke. And you're being mean right now."

_Clarke:_  
"Me? Mean?"

_Lexa:_  
"Yes, you! You're starting something you can't finish."

Lexa raised her eyebrow and sighed. Clarke smiled at her obvious frustration.

_Clarke:_  
"Maybe... you could finish it for me, then?"

Lexa's eyes became bigger as she slightly opened her lips.

_Lexa:_  
"Are you suggesting... phone sex?"

Clarke noticed that Lexa was blushing and it made her feel warm and fuzzy in her chest.

_Clarke:_  
"I wasn't, actually... I was teasing you a little bit, maybe trying to get you to release the tension later in the bathtub... Which backfired big time, because now I'm turned on just thinking about it."

Lexa laughed out loud and it made her feel very confident, seeing the effect she had on Clarke's libido.

_Lexa:_  
"I've never done it before. Have you?"

_Clarke:_  
"I have, yes... back in 2014 I had a long distance relationship and we saw each other once a month or even less, so..."

_Lexa:_  
"Where was she from?"

_Clarke:_  
"Belgium. From Holland, actually, but she lived in Belgium."

_Lexa:_  
"How many relationships have you had? If you don't mind me asking..."

_Clarke:_  
"I don't mind it at all... I've had three serious relationship. What about you?"

_Lexa:_  
"Two. The first one in high school and the second one after I moved to LA."

_Clarke:_  
"Do you still keep in touch with them? Or were they not friendly break ups?"

_Lexa:_  
"Well, Zoey, my first girlfriend... we were together for two years and she kind of cheated on me when I moved to L.A., so we didn't stay friends afterwards. But we were young, you know... And I don't hold a grudge against her. I actually saw her last summer in Sydney and she was engaged to her boyfriend, who happens to be the same guy with whom she cheated on me. So, I guess he was her soulmate after all. And the second one... she was a guest actress on the show and we dated for 8 months, but it didn't work out... We had different schedules and she started working on a different show, so we just called things off. We're still friendly if we run into each other at some event, but that's about it. You?"

_Clarke:_  
"Um... My first serious relationship was with a girl named Nika was when I was 22. She was 18, but she seemed so mature... until, of course, the summer was over and she went to college and made out with the girl I had already warned her about... so, yeah. It lasted 7 months... then I was single for a while until I met Claire, the Dutch girl, and we dated for a little more than a year, but it didn't work out... I was finishing med school and she had a lot of problems of her own... but it was quite an amicable break up actually. I even had drinks with her couple of years ago in Madrid, she moved there not long after we broke up, and she looked happy. And my last relationship was here in Spain... her name is Eva and we broke up recently after a year of dating, so we're not on speaking terms at the moment."

_Lexa:_  
"Do you still have feelings for her?"

_Clarke:_  
"No, that's actually why we broke up... I told her I wasn't in love with her anymore. I do still care about her and wish her the best, though..."

_Lexa:_  
"I understand... what about before? You said you had your first relationship at the age of 22. Was she your first everything?"

_Clarke:_  
"You mean sex? No. It was two years before that... Her name was Sasha and she was a model... I met her through mutual friends and we had a fling."

_Lexa:_  
"Ooooh a model!"

Lexa laughed and started making silly faces which made Clarke laugh as well.

_Clarke:_  
"I had a boyfriend in high school, though!"

Lexa's opened her mouth in shock.

_Clarke:_  
"Surprised?"

_Lexa:_  
"Very much so!"

_Clarke:_  
"I was fifteen and we dated for five months... until I touched his penis and threw up."

Lexa started laughing and covered her face with the pillow.

After a while she managed to stop and looked at the camera again.

_Lexa:_  
"Well, that's one way to find out you're gay."

_Clarke:_  
"Definitely," Clarke laughed. "Have you ever been with a guy?"

_Lexa:_  
"No... Ever since my first crush, you know, this hot blonde girl with a guitar..."

They smiled at each other.

_Lexa:_  
"It was clear to me that I'm 100% gay."

_Clarke:_  
"I wish I'd known you back then..."

_Lexa:_  
"Naaah, you wouldn't have liked me... I was a shy, skinny nerd with eyeglasses and curly hair."

_Clarke:_  
"Why do you think I make you wear your eyeglasses? It's hot! And I love your hair better when it's curly... just like you are right now."

_Lexa:_  
"Enjoy it while you can... they're going to straighten it tomorrow. They say it's a better look for me, more commercial."

_Clarke:_  
"Well, I disagree. I mean, you look gorgeous either way, but the curls... Love them."

_Lexa:_  
"Thank you... unfortunately, appearances are all that matter in this line of business. But that's a subject for another time."

_Clarke:_  
"I can imagine, yes... I have to go anyway and I see your eyes are getting smaller by the minute. You should get some rest."

_Lexa:_  
"Yes, doctor."

She curled her lips in a seductive smile and raised an eyebrow.

_Lexa:_  
"But first I'll take a nice, long bath... is that okay, doctor?"

_Clarke:_  
"Oh, yes... it's your doctor's official prescription."

They smiled at each other, feeling a mixture of affection and arousal.

_Lexa:_  
"I hope you'll have a peaceful afternoon and also the rest of your shift."

_Clarke:_  
"Thank you, Lexa... Enjoy your bath."

She winked at her and they finished the conversation smiling and blowing kisses to the camera.


	13. Whipped

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven faces her own feelings. We meet a new character - Ontari.  
Oh, and Clarke & Lexa are still being cute ❤️

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thank you for all the comments and kudos, I'm really glad you like the story ❤️
> 
> What do you think of Raven and Octavia? Would you like to see them together as a couple?

The punching bag was swinging back and forth as Raven's boxing gloves sunk into it with a lot of force and determination.

She was sweating excessively, with her eyes focused on the leather in front of her and letting out a grunt every time she took a swing at the bag.

Her body was tight, her muscles very tense and the black leggings and sports bra that she was wearing were almost completely wet.

It was Friday evening and it was the third day in a row that she was at the local gym, trying to get her mind off the unfortunate encounter with Octavia and Ricky two days earlier.

After bumping into them that evening, she ran directly to _United gym_, which was where she usually worked out three times a week. But this time it just didn't cut it, so she went back the next day as well, and the next.

She was so concentrated on the boxing that she didn't notice that someone had been observing her work out session and was now slowly approaching her as she stopped, took off the boxing gloves and picked up her water bottle.

"Hey! Raven, isn't it?" he greeted her with a smile on his face.

"Hi! Yes... it's Robbie, right?" she actually knew his name, especially after all that stalking she had done on his Facebook profile.

"Ricky, actually..." he corrected her politely. "We met two days ago, I was with Oct..."

"Yes, I remember..." she didn't let him finish the sentence, for some reason hearing Octavia's name out of his mouth was something that she wasn't ready for.

Not really understanding why, she felt that it would be too painful for her.

"Yeah..." Ricky scratched the back of his neck, feeling a little uncomfortable. "So, this is where you usually work out?"

"It is, yes. I live just 150m from here, actually..." she answered quickly and took another sip of water before putting the bottle back to the ground. "I've never seen you here before."

"It's my first time, really... I used to go to _Jabega gym_ with Juanmi because I lived in that neighborhood, but I moved last week and this was the closest gym that I found," he explained.

"I see... Well, the punching bag is all yours if you want it, I was done anyway," Raven smiled and picked up the water bottle off the ground.

"No, thanks... I think I'll go do some lifting," he noticed Raven's uneasiness around him and he started wondering if maybe Octavia's feelings were reciprocated, which would explain the Latina's behavior towards him. "I guess I'll be seeing you around," he said and waved at her as he walked away.

"Sure, hope you'll like the gym," she tried to be nice and forced a smile as she waved back at him.

After completing the twenty minutes of cardio on the Elliptical, she went to the locker room and started taking off her clothes, when she heard a familiar voice.

"Well, isn't this a nice view," the young woman spoke in a seductive tone, looking at Raven's naked back.

"Ontari..." Raven sighed and didn't bother to turn around to face her.

Ontari was a 28-year old bisexual woman from Canada and she had moved to Marbella the previous year to teach English at a private elementary school.

She was around 1,60m tall, very fit with broad shoulders, tanned skin, long dark brown hair, square shaped jaw and cognac brown eyes.

In the past year she and Raven had had some steamy encounters in the showers, but had never met or talked outside of the gym. No questions asked, just releasing the extra sexual energy after a good work out.

Raven suspected that Ontari probably had someone in her life, probably a boyfriend, but she never asked and was completely fine with not knowing, as she had no intention of turning the fling between them into something more serious.

"I was about to hit the showers as well," Ontari continued with the flirting.

"Yeah?" Raven flirted back. "I guess I'll see you there, then..." she said as she took off the leggings, along with the panties, put a big towel on her shoulder and went in the direction of the showers completely naked.

Not long after that, Ontari joined her in the shower cubicle and Raven received her with a wet kiss.

Ontari moaned inside her mouth and pushed her to the wall as she grabbed her ass, and then she moved her lips away from Raven's just to find her neck, under the spray of hot water.

The Latina tilted her head backwards, trying to enjoy Ontari's tongue on her skin, but surprisingly, she couldn't get into the mood and the harder she tried, the quicker the desire left her body.

"Fuck, Raven, you make me so wet..." Ontari whispered in Raven's ear as she took her hand and placed it between her legs. "Mmm... do you feel that?"

"Oh, yes..." the Latina answered, feeling Ontari's wetness on her fingers that she was now moving around her folds.

"Mmm let me feel you too..." Ontari moved her hand towards Raven's sex, but the latter grabbed her hand before she could reach it.

"I want to take care of you... just relax," she replied as they changed positions and Ontari was now leaning on the wall, while Raven was kissing her neck and rubbing her clitoris with her fingers.

Ontari's moans were becoming louder and her grip around Raven's head tighter as the Latina was sucking on her nipple, grabbing her other breast with her left hand and rubbing her clitoris with the right.

When she felt that Ontari was starting to move her hips back and forth faster, she entered her vagina with two fingers at once, noticing how wet she was, making it possible for her to slide them deep inside of her.

A loud scream of pleasure left Ontari's throat and Raven quickly covered her mouth with the palm of her hand, without stopping the rough penetration, which she had already learned that it was how Ontari liked it.

Raven moved her lips away from her lover's hard nipple and went north, to her neck and started biting it.

"Is this how you want it, huh?" she whispered in Ontari's ear and the latter just nodded, as she was unable to speak with Raven's hand on her mouth. "You like it when I fuck you hard, don't you?" Ontari nodded again and felt another wave of pleasure inside her pussy caused by the dirty talk in her ear.

Raven was well aware of the effect she had on Ontari and she knew that she was very close when she felt the increased pressure of her vagina's walls against her fingers. She then pressed her thumb on Ontari's clit, keeping her fingers inside her pussy and that's all the Canadian needed to reach the climax of her pleasure.

Ontari was shaking as the sound of a muffled scream filled the shower cubicle.

Couple of moments later, she relaxed her body and Raven removed her hand from Ontari's mouth at the same time she pulled her fingers out of her soaked vagina.

"Damn, Raven... that was hot," she said and bit her lower lip. "Your turn," she stretched her arms, trying to grab Raven's waist.

"I'm fine, actually..." Raven took her hands, avoiding Ontari's advances. "I have to go... thanks, though..." she winked at her and got out of the shower cubicle, leaving Ontari under the shower.

Raven wrapped the towel around her body on the way to her locker and she got dressed very quickly, because she wanted to leave before Ontari came out of the shower.

She packed the gym bag and left the locker room in a hurry, with her hair still wet.

Three minutes later, she was unlocking the apartment's door, while her thoughts were rather occupied by the lack of libido she experienced earlier and she knew that a certain greyish-green eyed Spanish woman had a lot to do with it.

Her feelings for Octavia were getting out of control and she knew that she needed to talk about it, which is why she felt relieved when she saw that Clarke was still awake, sitting on the couch and scrolling on her phone.

"I was getting nervous, it's almost 11 pm!" Clarke expressed her concern when she saw Raven entering the living room.

"Yeah, I got... umm... held up at the gym," Raven replied and went directly to the bathroom to take the wet clothes out of the gym bag.

"Held up?" Clarke shouted from the living room. "Did a certain Canadian have something to do with it?" she asked when Raven came back to the living room and sat next to her.

"Yes..." Raven answered and tilted her head backwards, leaning on the couch as she covered her face with her hands.

Clarke noticed that there had been something odd about her roommate, especially in the last couple of days and as much as she tried not to inquire, she felt that it was time that she confronted her, hoping that she might be able to help.

"Ray... talk to me, please... I know that something's been bothering you," Clarke tried to get her to open up. "Ever since my birthday party you've been acting... I don't know... different."

Raven's body was suddenly stiff, realizing that she might've been more obvious than she had thought, at least to Clarke.

She took a deep breath, removing her hands from her face and then she leaned forward with her forearms on her lap, still not feeling ready to look at her friend.

"Clarke... I..." she finally spoke, looking at the floor. "I'm so fucked..." her voice was shaking as she turned to the left and looked at Clarke for a quick moment.

"Ray..." she moved closer to Raven and put her hand on her back, making her feel supported and comfortable enough to continue speaking.

"I don't know where to start, really..." Raven spoke. "I'm not even sure when it happened... but it definitely got more intense after your birthday party... and it all got worse when I saw them on Wednesday."

"Them?" Clarke was a bit confused, as she expected that Raven would tell her about her feelings for Octavia.

"Yeah... I went out for a jog and I ran into Octavia and... Ricky," she explained.

Clarke didn't speak, she wanted to give her friend the time and space she needed to confide in her.

"I want to say it, you know... but once I do, it becomes real..." Raven explained and Clarke could see tears in her eyes.

"It's ok," Clarke grabbed her hand. "Whenever you're ready."

Raven took a deep breath before she finally got the courage to speak out loud.

"I'm... I'm in love with Octavia," she exhaled after she said it and felt as if huge weight had been lifted off her chest. "I bet you didn't see it coming, huh?" she smiled at Clarke.

"Actually..." she smiled back.

"Oh, come on... no way," Raven started laughing.

"I swear," Clarke joined her. "I mean, the two of you have this intense energy, and I started to suspect early on that it might lead to something... and then it never did... But, something changed couple of months ago, right?"

"You're quite the observer, Clarkie..." Raven joked.

"Well, I was waiting for you to come to me... didn't want to push it, really..." they smiled at each other. "So... what changed?"

"It happened at the club... the night of your birthday party," Raven continued. "I was dancing with some guy and he was starting to get handsy and aggressive, trying to grab me... and suddenly Octavia came to the rescue and she pulled me away from him... And then it just happened... we kissed," she finished the story with a smile on her face.

"Wow, Ray... I had no idea... What happened next?" she was curious, but then she remembered that Octavia slept in their apartment that night. "Fuck, she came home with us! Did you have sex?"

"No, no... nothing like that," Raven was amused by Clarke's reaction. "We got back here and I helped her unzip her dress..." Clarke raised her eyebrow at Raven, making her laugh. "Don't look at me like that, it wasn't sexual or anything... Anyway, she then told me that she'd had a lot to drink and the kiss didn't mean anything, and that it basically reminded her of when she used to make out with her girlfriends in high school."

"What? Are you sure she said that?" Clarke was very surprised to hear that.

"Yes, I'm sure..." Raven answered, looking down at her lap and she put her hands together. "I could see that she was uncomfortable around me, so I just agreed with her and went to bed after telling her that she's a good kisser."

"You didn't!" Clarke laughed. "Ray... Octavia likes you, I'm sure of it."

"Did she say anything to you?" Raven looked at Clarke with a hint of hope in her eyes.

"No, but she didn't have to... Did you see her reaction to your threesome in Paris? It was obvious she was jealous."

"I don't think so... she just seemed curious about it. Plus, she's dating Ricky now, so..."

"Actually..." Clarke stopped speaking, because she wasn't sure if she should tell Raven that Octavia had only one date with Ricky. She wanted to talk to Octavia first and clear the air about why she lied about seeing him while they were in Paris.

"What?"

"Nothing, it's just, I mean... they're not a couple yet, right? They just went out together."

"It doesn't matter anyway... she's not gay, remember?"

"Weren't you the one who said that sexuality is fluid and we shouldn't label ourselves?"

"I believe it's true for a lot of people, if they could let themselves be open and honest about it... but there are some people who are just 100% straight or 100% gay," Raven said. "Like you, for example... lezzy all the way."

"I feel like I should print that out on a t-shirt or something," Clarke laughed. "But, Ray... hasn't she shown any interest in the months after the kiss?"

"I don't know..." Raven shrugged. "I mean, there's been some texting and I thought she was flirting sometimes... or maybe I read too much into it, no idea... But, I just think that for her I'm some sort of an experiment and she enjoys the attention. Plus, her family is very traditional, I don't think she would dare to disappoint them by being with a woman..."

"Ray... Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, anything."

"Did you have sex with the Canadian woman today because you saw Octavia and Ricky two days ago?"

"No," Raven smiled. "Ok, maybe partly, yes... But mostly because I wanted to prove to myself that my feelings for Octavia were not that strong. And I couldn't do it anyway..."

"What do you mean?"

"We started kissing and when she wanted to touch me I didn't let her... It's like I wasn't there, I wasn't even turned on..." Raven tilted her head down. "So I just did her and then came practically running home to avoid seeing her afterwards."

"Oh wow... and what about the threesome in Paris? Did you enjoy it?"

"I mean, it is a threesome after all," she started laughing and Clarke gave her a push on the shoulder. "No, but seriously... I don't remember most of it... I got really drunk and I just went on auto-pilot, you know?"

"Fuck, Ray... I'm so sorry... I didn't know you were struggling with it so much," Clarke couldn't help but feel guilty for not being there for her friend in that period.

"Hey, it's fine, really... You couldn't have known," Raven tried to comfort her. "I should've told you sooner, I suppose... but I didn't really want to admit it, even to myself."

"I know... It must've been hard... and I'm glad you told me now. Thank you."

"No, thank you for listening... I actually feel better," she smiled at Clarke and they hugged.

Suddenly, Clarke realized that she had made plans with Octavia for the following day, and now after talking to Raven, she wanted to cancel them and just be with her the whole weekend.

"What's that face? Clarke?" Raven knew her too well and she recognized the concern that was spreading all over her friend's features.

"Nothing, everything is fine," Clarke tried to avoid giving her the real answer.

"Come on, I know you. What's up?" Raven insisted.

"Ughhh... damn it, I can't hide anything from you, can I?" Raven shook her head and then Clarke continued. "It's just that they are all going to hang out at the beach tomorrow and they invited us and I said yes... I mean, I figured that you probably wouldn't want to go, because Ricky will be there, but I said I would stop by... but now I really don't want to go and I have to make an excuse."

"Why did you change your mind?"

"Because I want us to have the weekend to ourselves."

"Clarke... I'm fine, really. I appreciate the thought, but it's not that dramatic. You know me," she said and winked at Clarke.

"Yes, I know you, which is why I want to stay with you," she gave Raven a significant look, letting her know that she was aware of her tendency to play down the magnitude of her feelings in general, and especially when it came to Octavia.

"Look, I can't avoid Ricky forever, people will get suspicious... Hell, I even ran into him today at the gym... looks like he's going to be working out there now," Clarke was about to say something, but Raven continued. "So, instead of you staying home, how about we both go to the beach with them?"

"Wouldn't that be a torture for you?" Clarke doubted. "I don't think we should."

"Oh, come on... it might actually help me get over Octavia, seeing her with someone else."

"I don't know, Ray..."

"Plus, I need to take some photos of you in a bikini, so you can send them to your girlfriend overseas and remind her what she's been missing out," Raven teased her friend to lighten up the mood.

"That's..." Clarke started laughing. "That's definitely not happening. And she's not... my girlfriend," her cheeks were flushed by the time she spoke the last two words.

Even though the thought of referring to Lexa as 'her girlfriend' was very appealing, she wasn't the type that fell head over heals in a matter of days or the kind that would plan a whole wedding after one single date. Logic was one of her best friends and she always relied on it in time of doubt, and no matter how hard it was listening to it when it came to Lexa, it was the only way she could prevent herself from getting into something that could end badly for her and leave her in pieces.

The only logical conclusion was that the two of them had unbelievable energy and were insanely attracted to each other, but the chances of it becoming something more than that were slim to none. After all, Lexa was an actress in America, becoming more and more famous with each season of the series, and Clarke was a doctor in Spain and that was it.

She didn't dare to dream that she would move to L.A. to be with her or that Lexa would move to Spain, and why would she?

Where was the logic in that?

The flow of her thoughts was interrupted by Raven, who was now in a much better mood than at the beginning of the conversation.

"Yes, yes... I know you're keeping it casual, it's cool..." she rolled her eyes. "Where is she now, by the way?"

"Still in San Diego, at the Comic Con... I almost died when I saw the photos she posted on Instagram today, look..." she reached out, took her phone from the coffee table and showed Raven the photos of Lexa.

In one of them Lexa was posing on a balcony, leaning on the fence, with a view of the beach and the ocean in the back, and she was wearing a blue floral sundress with a split on the left side revealing her long leg.

Her hair was tied up with a cream velvet bow on the back of her head, while some loose hair strands were falling casually on each side of her face, wearing very subtle make up.

Clarke had seen the photos many times during the day, but she still couldn't get enough of them, or better said, she couldn't get enough of Lexa.

Raven could swear she could almost see heart-shaped eyes on her friend's face and she started laughing.

"Oh, Clarke... I thought I was the one in trouble."

"Huh?" the blonde still had a dreamy look on her face.

"You, my friend..." Raven said as she faced Clarke and put her hands on her friend's shoulders. "... are sooooo whipped, it's even painful to watch."

"Shut up," Clarke couldn't help but laugh as well and she pushed Raven before she got up from the couch. "I'm going to bed," she said and started walking in the direction of her bedroom.

"Don't be too loud and try not to get your phone all wet!" Raven shouted as Clarke was walking away from her and the latter didn't bother to respond nor turn around, but she just lifted her arm and showed her friend the middle finger.

Raven laughed out loud and went to the bathroom to take another shower, as she didn't really get the chance to clean herself good at the gym due to the sex and the rush afterwards.

Meanwhile Clarke was thrilled when she received a message from Lexa as she was getting in her bed.

She had sent Lexa a text about an hour earlier, complementing her looks and wishing her a great second day at the Comic Con, and she didn't really expect an answer, knowing that Lexa probably had her whole day booked with interviews and press conferences, autograph sessions and whatnot.

It was a very pleasant surprise that Lexa had actually taken the time to reply to her message and Clarke had a huge smile on her face as she was opening the chat on WhatsApp.

**Text message**

_Lexa:_  
"Hey you! 😊 Thank you 🤭 I had nothing to do with it, though, my team did the styling 😉 Well, except for the bow, that one was my idea and Bobby went along with it 😜 What are you up to? Going out tonight?"

_Clarke:_  
"You would look beautiful even in a potato bag, trust me 🔥 Oh, no, definitely not going out.. I performed three long surgeries today and I didn't do anything at all after I came home, just lying around all day 😩 And I'm still in a horizontal position, except now I'm in my bedroom 😁"

_Lexa:_  
"😃 Oh, I don't know... My styling team might have something to say about that 😝 Ohhhh, God, that sounds amazing, I'd kill to be able to just lie around right now... if possible, with you 😳 Congrats on the surgeries, they're lucky to have you as their doctor 😉 (huuuuge turn on, by the way)"

_Clarke:_  
"Fuck them 😝 Wait, no... fuck me instead 😏 I'd love to lie around with you, too 😳 Do you have to stay there long, by the way?"

_Lexa:_  
"Yes, please 😏 Anytime, anywhere...  
Practically the whole day... we have a lunch break right now and after that we have to go back 😒"

_Clarke:_  
"Go eat! And drink a lot of water, please, you need to stay hydrated 🤓"

_Lexa:_  
"Yes, doctor 😏 I kinda miss your face on my phone 😳"

_Clarke:_  
"And I miss yours on mine... no pun intended 😇 We could have a video call tomorrow, it's your birthday after all 🤗 If you're not too busy, of course."

_Lexa:_  
"😃😃😃  
That would be amazing 😊 I'll call you as soon as I wake up tomorrow, is that ok?"

_Clarke:_  
"Can't wait 😊 Goodnight, Lexa 😘"

_Lexa:_  
"Goodnight, Clarke. Sleep well 😘"


	14. Tipsy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Lexa's birthday, yaaaay! 😁  
Clarke and the others spend the day at the beach.  
The tension between Raven and Octavia is rising 🔥

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thank you so much for your comments, it really means a lot! ❤️  
This chapter is a bit shorter, but don't worry, the next one is coming very soon!

It was Saturday morning in Marbella and Clarke was asleep topless in her bed, wearing only a pair of boxers.

The last couple of days the temperature had increased quite a bit in the whole zone of Andalucía and that was her usual outfit on hot, humid nights. She didn't like using the air condition, especially not while sleeping, and she had also figured out that wearing tight underwear affects her quality of sleep, so one day she bought a pack of men's underwear and it was one of the best decisions in her life.

The quiet morning was interrupted by a sound of an acoustic guitar melody emanating from Clarke's phone.

She had a light sleep, so she quickly grabbed the phone and turned off the alarm.

It was 8:30 am but the heat was already coming in from the window and she could feel the drops of sweat on her neck and back, so she quickly closed the window and went to the bathroom.

Ten minutes later she returned to the bedroom, freshly showered, and wiped the water off her body before applying vanilla body cream. She then proceeded to put on a black bra and panties and lay down on the bed, holding the phone in her hands. She decided to take a selfie and send it to Lexa, as it was almost midnight in San Diego, which meant it was practically her birthday.

Clarke was lying on her stomach, leaning with her chin on a white pillow, her hair was a bit messy and she had that kind of hot smoldering look in her eyes which she had noticed that it had a big effect on Lexa.

She took the selfie and now she had to wait ten minutes till 9 am, so she could send it to Lexa exactly at what would be midnight in San Diego.

While waiting, she decided to check her Instagram and one of the first Instagram stories she saw was Lexa's; it was a video of a birthday cake with some strawberries dipped in chocolate and a few sparklers on top of it, and a caption 'Oh I guess my Birthday week has begun <3 love this little family.'

Clarke could hear Lexa's voice in the background and it made her smile, reminding her yet again how much she liked her. Although, she wasn't so sure that "like" was the right word for what she felt, it didn't seem big enough to describe the feeling in her chest every time she thought of Lexa or every time she saw some of her photos and videos on the social media. Not to even mention the spectrum of emotions that invaded her body during their video calls.

It was probably safe to say that Clarke was falling for Lexa, falling pretty hard actually, and she just couldn't deny it to herself anymore. Even more, it became clear to her when the night before while she was home alone, she suddenly got inspired thinking about Lexa, so she wrote down some words, quickly picked up the guitar and combined the words with some chords, which resulted in composing a song. It had been more than three years since the last time she composed and it was good to see that part of her still existed and was now being revived because of Lexa.

It was almost 9 am, so she opened the chat with Lexa, attached the photo and wrote something under it.

In the exact moment that the numbers changed from 8:59 to 9:00 am, she sent it all together.

**Text message**

_Clarke_  
"Hey, beautiful 😊 I wanted to be the first! Did I make it? 😀 I hope you're having a great time - that cake looks delicious, btw!   
I just wanted to say Happy birthday and I also wanted to tell you that I'm very happy that we met and that you gave me the chance to get to know you a little better... You are truly amazing and I am in awe of who you are as a person, and I honestly wish you all the best, because you deserve nothing less.  
Anyway, I hope you have a fantastic birthday week and I'm glad to see you're surrounded by good friends 😉 Can't wait to 'see' you later... 😘"

After sending the text and the selfie, she waited a few minutes, but the ticks didn't turn blue, so she assumed Lexa was probably busy at the moment, being hugged and kissed by her friends and colleagues.

She smiled after locking the screen, put on dark grey shorts and a green loose tank top and went to the kitchen to prepare breakfast.

About five minutes later, she placed two bowls of oatmeal on the dinning table, made with almond milk and slices of kiwi, banana and agave syrup on top. She had heard Raven go to the bathroom while she was preparing the breakfast, so she knew she was going to join her very soon, as it usually happened in the mornings on weekends.

Sure enough, Raven got out of the bathroom and joined Clarke. She was wearing blue shorts and a big white comfy t-shirt she used only at home.

"Mmm it's delicious... thank you, Clarkie," Raven said after tasting the breakfast.

"Anytime, Ray," Clarke smiled at her friend.

"You look like you're in a good mood. What's up?"

"Nothing... it's just a beautiful day," Clarke replied and her cheeks blushed immediately because her thoughts were occupied by a certain brunette, yet again.

"Of course, why did I even ask?" Raven laughed, noticing the redness on her friend's face. "So... how's Lexa?"

"She's..." Clarke's lips involuntarily curled into a smile. "Well, it's her birthday."

"Oh, right! I knew that!" Raven remembered. "Did you send her a text?"

"I did... and we're doing a video call later."

"Yeah, you are," Raven widened her eyes and moved her eyebrows up and down repeatedly. "Are you going to give her an exotic dance as a present?"

"No," Clarke laughed out loud. "You know I'm not good at dancing."

"So you'll just take off your clothes then," Raven said with calm and continued eating.

"No!" Clarke was still laughing. "No clothes are being taken off, ok? I have something else planned..." she got serious for a second and looked down at her bowl. "I'm nervous, Ray..."

"What? Why?"

"Yesterday when I was alone, I... well, I wrote her a song," Clarke's cheeks were flushed again and she looked up to face Raven.

"Wow... dude... you haven't written a song in a while... It's been like two years or more, right?" Raven was surprised because she knew that Clarke only wrote songs when she was feeling very sad or when she was in love.

"Three years," Clarke confirmed.

"So... are you going to sing it to her today? Can I hear it first?" Raven was trying to convince Clarke with her sad puppy eyes.

"I am, yes... And no, sorry. It's her present, she should be the first to hear it."

"Yeah, I figured..." Raven gave up. "Clarke... you're in love with her, aren't you?"

Clarke looked up and faced her friend who was looking at her with kindness and understanding. There was no doubt in her mind that she was falling for Lexa and she was ready to confide in her friend, even though she was pretty sure Raven had already figured it out. After all, her face was like an open book and it lit up at every mention of Lexa, making it obvious to Raven since probably day one.

She was about to speak when her phone beeped, so she quickly unblocked the screen just to see that it was a voice message from Lexa.

A glowing smile spread on her face as she opened the chat and looked at Raven with excitement.

"I got my answer," Raven laughed.

"It's a voice message," Clarke said visibly excited. "I'll just go to..."

"Go, go, I'll clean up," Raven smiled at her friend who was walking fast in the direction of the balcony.

Once she was there, she closed the door that separated the balcony from the living room and she sat on the chair, leaning on the fence and pressed play.

**Voice message**

_Lexa:_  
"Claaarke! My God, you are gorgeous! How can you look like that in the morning? You're breathtaking, seriously... (she sighed) I've had a few drinks, by the way, and I decided to send you a voice message, because um... I don't think my texting skills are to be tested right now (laugh). I'm sorry it took me a while, everyone was wishing me Happy Birthday and I finally managed to get away... you were the first, though! Thank you so much for the birthday wishes... I have one wish that's um... Well, it involves you, actually... no, no, if I tell you it's not going to come true. Forget it (laugh). Sorry, I'm a bit tipsy... I had some cake! It was delicious. But, Clarke... (Lexa's voice became lower and raspier) I'd have YOU over cake any day... I really like you, Clarke... Fuck it, I said it. Ever since Paris I catch myself thinking about you and smiling... I don't want to come on too strong, I hope me saying this won't scare you away... but it's how I feel. Anyway... can't wait to see you on camera later! Well, unless you change your mind... because of what I said... Maybe I should delete this message and record a new one... hmmm... no, I'm standing by it. I like you a lot, Clarke Eliza Griffin. (male voice in the background: Lexaaa, come on, we ordered another round). I'll be right there! Shit, I have to go... Ok, well... Talk later, then? Have a nice day! Byeee."

Clarke had a huge smile on her face throughout the voice message and she was giggling when Lexa was laughing on the other side, which made her feel extra close to her.

She hadn't expected her to be so honest about her feelings, but it was definitely a pleasant surprise that she was, even with a little boost from the alcohol.

Clarke felt happy and relieved knowing that it was mutual, which made her less nervous about singing her song to Lexa later that day.

Tipsy Lexa was incredibly cute, so far she had noticed two types of 'Tipsy Lexa': the confident, sexy one in Paris, teasing her and blowing her mind in bed, and the adorable, a bit insecure one that left her a voice message, telling her how much she liked her.

And she was head over heels for the brunette and couldn't wait to discover all of the layers of her personality, and she knew she could really love her, deeply.

Still overwhelmed by Lexa's confession, Clarke decided that it was only fair that she recorded a voice message as well, hoping that it might reassure her that they're absolutely on the same page, beyond any doubt.

**Voice message**

_Clarke_  
"Lexa... Hearing your voice, reading your texts or just thinking about you... it puts a smile on my face, so big that my cheeks hurt... and I've been like this ever since a got back from Paris. I can't wait to see your face later, it's all I've been thinking about... I really like you too, Lexa Woods... A lot. And I'm not changing my mind, you can bet on it. Enjoy your night, gorgeous! Talk to you soon... bye!"

Half an hour later, Raven and Clarke were already at the beach, sunbathing and waiting for their friends to join them. After a little while, they spotted Juanmi, Luna, Ricky, Octavia and her dog Maki approaching them.

"Ray, if at any moment you want to leave..." Clarke offered.

"I'm fine, Clarkie, don't worry about me," Raven said and winked at her.

"Just say the word and we're gone, ok?" Clarke insisted.

"Alright, alright, I promise."

"Hey!" Octavia was the first to greet Raven and Clarke and they both greeted her back. "Clarke, you haven't met Ricky, right?"

"No, not yet," she confirmed and stood up to greet Ricky. "Nice to meet you," she said, giving him a kiss on each cheek.

"Nice to meet you, too, Clarke! I've heard a lot about you," he was being polite as always and then he turned to Raven, who was still lying on the sand. "Hello again, Raven!"

"Hi!" she turned her head just enough to look at the group of friends and greeted them, and the she turned all of her attention to Maki and stroked his head.

Raven was on her back and her skin was smooth and glowing because of the sun cream she had applied earlier. She was tanned and her dark skin was in contrast with the orange bikini that she had intentionally put on to provoke Octavia, remembering the way the latter couldn't keep her eyes off of her every time she wore it.

And sure enough, it didn't take long for Octavia's eyes to get lost on Raven's toned body. It was extremely hard for her to look away, but ever since she became aware of the attraction she felt for the Latina, Octavia tried to control it whenever she caught herself staring at Raven.

"Let's go for a swim!" Juanmi suggested and that was the interruption Octavia was hoping for, so she finally managed to take her eyes off of Raven.

"Yes, come on, guys, it's really hot..." Luna joined him and took off her clothes, revealing her slim body in a white bikini with thin straps.

"I'm going to stay a little more, actually... you guys go," Clarke said.

"You coming?" Ricky looked at Octavia right before he took off his shirt and she couldn't help but glance at his athletic body and she could swear the guy had an 8-pack instead of a 6-pack muscles on his abdomen.

"I'll stay with Clarke, I'm not ready to go in yet," Octavia wanted to chat with her friend, so she decided to sunbathe before getting in the water.

Juanmi and Luna had already left, and after Ricky and Maki joined them, Octavia realized that Raven had also stayed behind.

"So... Clarke. How are things with Lexa?" Octavia asked.

"Great, actually... We'll have a video call later," Clarke smiled. "How..." she stopped for a second and took a quick glance at Raven, feeling a bit uncomfortable because of the question she was about to ask. "How's Ricky?"

"He's a great guy," Octavia was not looking forward to talking about him in front of Raven, but at the same time she couldn't help but wonder if she cared at all. "We're getting to know each other and it's been really great... Plus, he's like super hot and..."

"Let me guess... Great?" Raven interrupted her and smiled before she stood up. "I'm going in," she said and went to join their friends.

Octavia watched her walk away with a frown on her forehead, feeling baffled by Raven's behaviour.

Was it jealousy?

Or maybe she was simply moody?

"O!" Clarke interrupted her thoughts and she turned her head to face her. "You were saying?"

"What's the matter with Raven?" she was too frustrated not to ask.

"What do you mean?" Clarke was pretending not to understand the question, because she didn't want to betray Raven's trust.

Clarke had promised to keep her secret and she would never break that promise.

"She was rude, right? The way she interrupted me?" Octavia asked for her friend's opinion.

"Oh no, it's... you know, Raven just being Raven," Clarke tried to convince Octavia. "You know she doesn't like conversations about relationship stuff."

"I guess..." Octavia would've preferred some other explanation, for a second she thought about how great it would be to hear Clarke say that Raven is jealous of Ricky because she wanted to be with her.

They talked for a little while and then they joined the others in the water.

In the next couple of hours they played some volleyball and had a lot of fun as a group, even Raven and Ricky started to get along very well, as they were on the same team during the game.

"Great game, Raven!" Ricky was excited because they had just won so he approached the Latina and gave her a big hug.

"Yeah, looks like we're a good team, big guy," she laughed and hugged him back.

Octavia was frowning, looking at the interaction from the other side of the net and was not pleased with what she was seeing.

Was Raven flirting with Ricky?

Or was he flirting with her?

And who was Octavia really jealous of?

"Don't worry, O... we'll get them next time," Juanmi tried to lighten the mood, thinking that his cousin was upset because they had lost.

"Huh?" Octavia needed a moment to understand what Juanmi was talking about. "Oh, right, yeah... We sure will," she faked a smile.

Soon after that they were getting hungry, so they went to a chiringuito close by to grab something to eat, also because they wanted to avoid the hot sun which was at its highest point.

During lunch, Octavia noticed that Raven and Ricky were becoming closer and it was causing her a great deal of stress, to the point that she lost her appetite.

"Dude, there's no way you could lift that much without hurting your back," Raven was challenging Ricky.

"I'm telling you, I've done it!" Ricky insisted. "I'll show you at the gym. Are you going tomorrow?"

"Oh, right, you guys go to the same gym now," Clarke remembered.

"Yeah, it's a good thing he left my gym, he was starting to make me look bad," Juanmi joked. "But I do miss you, though."

"Well, one man's loss is another woman's gain," Raven played along. "I'll be the one challenging you from now on, big guy... Can't tomorrow, but how about Monday?"

"Deal!" Ricky smiled. "Same time?"

Octavia was trying very hard not to have an explosion of emotions in front of everyone there, so she just excused herself to go to the bathroom.

Couple of minutes later as she was getting out of the stall in the restroom, she was surprised to see Raven in front of the sink, washing her hands.

"What are you doing here?" she asked without looking at her and proceeded to wash her hands in the sink next to the one Raven was using.

"Washing my hands? See?" she lifted her wet hands up and then she intentionally shook them off in front of Octavia's face, getting some drops of water on her face.

"Hey!" Octavia protested. "Stop that!"

Instead of stopping, Raven put her hands under the tap again to get some more water and then sprayed it all over Octavia, while laughing.

"I said stop!" Octavia couldn't help but laugh at Raven's playfulness.

"Or what?" she stopped for a moment and looked steadily at Octavia.


	15. Counting the hours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Octaven 🔥🔥🔥  
Clarke sings her song to Lexa 😍

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, as promised! I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> P.S. The song that Clarke sings to Lexa is actually my original song and I've uploaded it for the purposes of this story, so I'd appreciate it if you didn't share it on any other platform/social media.  
I'm the one singing it in the video, but just imagine it's Clarke 😁

They were staring at each other after they had stopped laughing and their breathing was becoming heavier.

Octavia's eyes moved south from Raven's to her voluminous lips and the Latina couldn't help but do the same thing when she noticed that Octavia was biting her lower lip. The latter took advantage of the lost eye contact to fill up the palm of her hand with water and splashed it all over Raven, laughing at her.

She opened her mouth in shock, while Octavia was trying to get some more water to continue with the 'attack', but then Raven grabbed her wrists, preventing her from executing the plan and she pinned her on the wall, holding her arms above her head.

Their heart rates increased as they locked eyes once again, only this time at a distance so short they were actually breathing into each other.

Raven felt the urge to press her lips against Octavia's, having her so close was too dangerous and she didn't trust herself to stay one more second in there with her.

She let go of her arms, stepped back and looked away before she turned around, and then started to walk away.

"Is that all you've got?" Octavia teased her.

Raven stopped walking.

Her heart was pounding, her whole body was burning and she desperately needed Octavia to put out the fire in her.

Was she just teasing her because she knew she could?

Was this just a game to her?

This time Octavia wasn't drunk and they weren't in a night club, there was no music, it was just a simple restaurant restroom on a normal day on the beach.

And yet, here she was, challenging her.

It certainly felt that they both wanted it to happen, or even more, they NEEDED it to happen.

Badly.

She finally turned around and saw Octavia in the same position she'd left her, with her back against the wall, her chest was moving up and down quite fast, and her eyes were piercing through Raven. In that moment she was sure she wanted her and suddenly nothing else mattered.

"Not even close," she replied and walked quickly towards Octavia who had a smirk on her face.

The moment their lips touched was a unique feeling of yearning and lust, it was not delicate and soft, on the contrary, it felt like they were about to devour each other.

Their hands were heatedly examining their bodies, feeling every curve, waking up a new nerve ending with each touch as their fingers sank into their flesh.

The warmth of their tongues wrestling inside their mouths, along with the muffled sighs and moans coming out of their throats were like an aphrodisiac, increasing the wetness between their legs that needed to be felt, tasted, savoured.

Suddenly, they heard the door open and quickly moved away from each other before the person who walked in could see the passionate exchange of saliva between them.

"Are you waiting in line for the toilet?" the unknown woman asked.

"Um... no, no, we were leaving, actually... go ahead," Raven responded, still visibly out of breath.

The woman entered one of the cubicles and Raven looked at Octavia who was leaning on the wall, trying to catch her breath.

"We should go back to the table," she said and Octavia just nodded in response.

Raven held the door open for her and then followed her to where their friends were seated, her eyes meeting with Clarke's as they sat at the table.

It looked like the blonde was the only one who had noticed Octavia's and Raven's flushed cheeks, messy hair and the slightly wet clothes they arrived in. She understood from her friend's look that something had happened in the bathroom and she knew she had to get them out of there soon.

"Damn, it's 4:30 pm already," Clarke said while checking the time on her phone. "I should get back..."

"What? It's still early, Clarke..." Juanmi protested. "We're going back to our spot after we finish drinking coffee, right?" he asked and looked around the table.

"Yeah, I have no plans for today," Ricky supported his idea.

"Me neither," Luna joined the conversation.

"Well, I do..." Clarke smiled and stuck out her tongue at the group.

"Oooh, does Clarke Griffin have a date?" Juanmi was curious.

"Single and ready to mingle, you go, girl!" Luna raised her hand waiting for a 'high five' from Clarke.

"Maybe..." Clarke smiled and slapped the flat of her palm against Luna's. "Ray, you coming?"

"Yes, I need to work on this new project I got assigned to last week..." Raven lied.

"Boo! You're a party pooper," Ricky teased her. "On the other hand, you better go home and rest, because I'm going to crush you at the gym on Monday."

"Keep dreaming, dude," Raven teased him back as she stood up to join Clarke. "I'm stronger than I look... in this case, and in this case only, size doesn't matter," she stuck out her tongue at him.

Everyone started laughing and Raven and Clarke left money on the table before they walked away from their friends.

Raven couldn't help but turn around on the way out and caught Octavia's eyes scanning her body until they met with hers, so she just gave her a subtle smile and then exited the chiringuito.

"I think they're doing it," Juanmi said once the roommates had left.

"What?" Ricky wasn't sure what Juanmi was referring to.

"Clarke and Raven... I think they're together and that's why Clarke broke up with Eva," Juanmi presented his theory.

"I thought Raven didn't do commitments," Ricky replied and looked at Octavia who was silent.

"Maybe she fell in love with Clarke and it changed her," Luna added to the conversation.

"She's not in love with Clarke," Octavia finally spoke. "And they're definitely not together."

"How do you know? Maybe they're hiding it," Juanmi replied. "I mean, look how both of them suddenly had to go, right?"

"I just know, ok?" Octavia was getting upset.

"Alright, alright..." Juanmi gave up. "Let's go back to the beach."

"Actually, you guys go... Maki and I are going to go home," Octavia was not in the mood and needed to get away from there.

"You're leaving me with these two?" Luna joked and Octavia smiled at her.

"I'll walk you home," Ricky offered.

"No, no... Thank you," Octavia declined.

"It's not a problem, I'll come right back, it's not that far..." he insisted.

"Really, it's fine," Octavia declined the offer. "I could use some alone time anyway," she said after she put some money on the table and stood up.

Ricky noticed that Octavia's mood had changed earlier and he was certain that it had to do with Juanmi's insinuations about Raven and Clarke. He knew that Octavia still had feelings for the Latina and he wished he could do something to speed up the process of 'getting over her', but he also understood that for the time being, the best thing he could do was to simply give Octavia space to deal with her emotions.

Back at the apartment, Raven had already told Clarke about the new developments regarding Octavia.

"What's your next step?" Clarke asked.

"I'm going to tell her," Raven replied after a pause and Clarke widened her eyes and smiled, feeling pleasantly surprised.

"Are you serious? Ray, that's amazing!" she exclaimed, sounding very excited.

"Yes," the Latina had a shy smile on her face and she could feel her cheeks burn. "If she'll have me, I'm all hers."

"Awww, Ray! I'm so happy!" Clarke hugged her. "Yay!" she exclaimed when she got off the couch and went to the bathroom to take a shower.

About two hours later, Clarke was in her room, reading the latest issue of the Orthopaedics and Traumatology: Surgery & Research Journal, when she received a message on WhatsApp.

**Text message**

_Lexa:_  
"Good morning, Clarke 😊 Are you home?"

_Clarke:_  
"Hey, sleepyhead 😛 I am! Video call?"

She called her immediately and Clarke answered with a huge smile on her face.

Lexa smiled back, showing off her white teeth and waved at the camera.

**Video call**

_Clarke:_  
_"_Is this how you look when you're hungover? You're stunning!"

_Lexa:_  
_"_I'm not hungover!" she laughed. "Ok, I am a little bit... I shouldn't have had those tequila shots..."

_Clarke:_  
"Tequila? Hardcore!" Clarke laughed as well. "Well, I suppose that's a proper way to start off your birthday. You're young, you can still get away with it without needing a week to recover afterwards."

_Lexa:_  
"Oh, come on, you're only three years older, Clarke, aaaand, you're not even thirty yet!" she winked at the camera. "Plus, I have a thing for older women."

_Clarke:_  
"Is that so?" Clarke felt the heat in her cheeks, she couldn't believe how shy she could be around Lexa sometimes. "I... have something for you," she said and bit her lower lip.

_Lexa:_  
"Really?" Lexa's eyes widened and her smile became even bigger. "What is it?"

_Clarke:_  
"It's... I wanted to do something special for your birthday..." she said while she positioned the phone on the night stand and leaned to grab the guitar.

Lexa couldn't hide her excitement, she couldn't believe Clarke was going to sing for her.

_Lexa:_  
"Oh my God! You're going to sing for me! Oh my God!"

_Clarke:_  
"Yes," Clarke couldn't help but laugh when she saw how thrilled Lexa was. "Actually, I... I wrote you a song," she said and tilted her head down before she looked back at the screen and saw Lexa's mouth open in shock.

_Lexa:_  
"Are you serious?" she asked with an expression of pure happiness on her face.

_Clarke:_  
"Yes..." Clarke nodded timidly. "It's still not 100% what I want it to to be, I might change some things later on, but... yes. I wrote you a song because I like you, Lexa. And I hope it doesn't scare you away," she looked at the screen again and saw everything but fear on Lexa's face, on the contrary, she was looking at her with so much... love? "Ok, here we go..." she said and started playing the guitar.

(Here's the link to the song):

https://youtu.be/kSpHTi_MA_0

**Lyrics**:

_Verse 1_

_It's amazing how you make me feel nice_   
_And I know we've only seen each other twice_   
_But baby with one look into your eyes_   
_I could see that you're my angel in disguise._

_Tell me how you stole my heart_   
_It's hard for me to breathe when we're apart_   
_It happened fast, I know that it's strange_   
_How you came into my life and now I'm changed_

_Chorus:_

_But then you'll go away_   
_So I'll start counting the hours till the day_   
_I see you again_   
_And there's nothing else that I want more_   
_'Cause you're everything_   
_Yeah, you're everything I've been searching for._

_Verse 2_

_You're so beautiful, oh baby you're so fine_   
_Do you know how much I want to make you mine?_   
_I wish you'd come and stay for a while_   
_My heart melts every time I see you smile_

Clarke had never been so nervous while singing in front of anyone before, she actually had to put some extra effort to control her voice, so she tried to look elsewhere during the song, otherwise she wouldn't have been able to finish it.

Every now and then she glanced at Lexa, who had a smile on her face, but at the same time she seemed very concentrated on the words coming out of Clarke's mouth.

When the song was over, Clarke put down the guitar and grabbed the phone from the night stand, putting it closer to her face that was now red as a ripe tomato. She finally built up the courage to look at Lexa, who still had the same expression in addition to the watery eyes.

_Clarke:_  
"Did... did you like it?" she asked timidly.

_Lexa:_  
"Clarke... I LOVE IT. No one has ever done anything like this for me before..." Lexa's smile widened. "Best birthday present ever!" she laughed. "My God, Clarke... I love the song, the melody, the lyrics... I love your voice... I..." she paused and the smile disappeared from her face. "I want to see you."

_Clarke:_  
"I want to see you too, Lexa..." Clarke replied quickly and the smile came back on Lexa's face.

_Lexa:_  
"I've been thinking... I remember you saying you had some days off in the first half of August... so I thought maybe I could come..."

_Clarke:_  
"YES! My God, YES!" Clarke interrupted her, the excitement took over her.

_Lexa:_  
"But you don't even know what I was going to say," Lexa laughed.

_Clarke:_  
"My answer is YES to everything!" Clarke couldn't believe her luck.

_Lexa:_  
"Alright..." she grinned. "I guess we're going on a motorcycle road trip, then?"

_Clarke:_  
"Really?" Clarke was shocked that Lexa had not only remembered her plan, but she also wanted to join her. "Are you sure? You don't have to, it's not like I made reservations or anything, I can go another time."

_Lexa:_  
"No, I want to," Lexa was sure of it. "I haven't been able to stop thinking about it ever since you told me you had a motorcycle," and then it occurred to her that maybe Clarke wanted to do it solo and she had just invited herself along. "Unless, you wanted to go by yourself?"

_Clarke:_  
"What? No! I'd love to do it with you! No pun intended, by the way," they both laughed. "I just didn't know you were interested... My ex never wanted to take a ride with me..." and then she realized that she had unintentionally put Lexa in the girlfriend category by comparing her with her ex. "I'm not saying that you are... well, that we are..." she was blushing and was starting to ramble.

_Lexa:_  
"Well, she must be insane, because, seriously, how could anyone say no to a ride with you?" Lexa winked at her and Clarke felt grateful that she pretended not to notice her embarrassment. "So... I'll see you in ten days, then?"

_Clarke:_  
"Yes! Can't wait."

Clarke was finding it hard to believe that it was really happening.

Lexa liked her song and was now coming to Spain, something that she had been afraid to think it was possible, even though she had been hoping for it happen.

_Lexa:_  
"Me too," she smiled gently at Clarke. "Alright, we're work out the details in the next couple of days, I have to go now, actually... I have a lunch meeting with some of the producers."

_Clarke:_  
"On your birthday?" Lexa nodded. "Damn... When are you flying to LA, by the way?"

_Lexa:_  
"Tomorrow night. But I'll text you before that... or I'll call you. I prefer talking to you 'face to face'."

_Clarke:_  
"I love seeing your face, so... call me anytime," Clarke winked playfully at Lexa, which made the brunette smile. "Ok, go get ready, then. Byeee," she blew a kiss at the camera.

_Lexa:_  
"Ok... Byeee," Lexa did the same and they finished the video call.


	16. Octavia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter gives us an insight into Octavia's life before she moved to Marbella.  
We also get to see how she feels about Raven and the way they interact the first time they see each other after their kiss on Saturday.

A 24-hour shift in the hospital can go from one extreme to another in a blink of on eye. One minute you're bored out of your mind, not knowing what to do with yourself and next thing you know you're elbows deep in the operation room, trying to stop the politraumatized patient with multiple open fractures from bleeding out on your operating table.

Unfortunately for Octavia, that wasn't the case on that particular Sunday at the Trauma Emergency Department. The whole morning was incredibly slow, the only two cases she had were a child with a twisted ankle and a man with a dislocated shoulder, which she took care of very quickly.

The bad side of it all was that she had a lot of time to think about, well, who else if not Raven and their steamy encounter in the restroom the day before.

Was she thinking about her too?

What was going through her mind?

It was their second kiss and this time it felt even more passionate and wild, as if their bodies had been missing a vital part that they could only find in each other.

The taste of Raven's lips took her back to that night two and a half months ago and suddenly she couldn't understand why she had been depriving herself of that pleasure for so long.

And then a not so pleasant thought invaded her mind, it was something that made her feel uncomfortable ever since the first time she questioned her own sexuality.

Her family.

Her very conservative, deeply religious family.

She loved them to death and knew that they would do anything for her, but the subjects that had to do with sex and relationships were never open for dicussion in the family circle. They wanted the best for her and had supported her every step of the way; like the time she wanted to be a professional tennis player, they immediately bought her the equipment and hired the best couch in the area. Or the time she wanted to be an astronomer, her father didn't think twice before driving three hours to buy her the best telescope in the country.

Being an only child definitely had its perks, but it also meant that all their expectations and hopes were focused on her. She was grateful for everything they had done for her and her biggest wish was to make them proud, and so far she was being an exemplary daughter.

Growing up in Montijo, a small town in the province of Badajoz, in the autonomous community of Extramadura, she was used to everyone knowing each other's business and she had never done anything to bring shame to her family, so to say.

When Octavia got accepted to the University of Valladolid to study Medicine, it was a bittersweet feeling because on one hand she was excited about the upcoming adventures in her life, but on the other hand it was the first time that she was going to be so far away from her family. They were also concerned, but aware that it was the natural course of life and their daughter was growing up and following her dreams. Their only wish was for her to be safe, so they insisted on her living in a catholic student dorm for girls during the 6 years of her studies, which she accepted without hesitation.

Octavia had never shown any special interest in boys or in anyone in particular. It had nothing to do with the religious environment she grew up in, especially because she did some research on religion when she was in elementary school, read a lot of books on the subject and declared herself agnostic. Not to her parents, of course, but it was something like an unspoken truth between them.

Her first sexual experience was at the age of 21 with a nice guy called Francisco Javier, who had had a crush on Octavia since the moment he laid eyes on her in Anatomy class, in their first year at the Faculty of Medicine. It was awkward and clumsy, but he was very gentil the whole three minutes that it lasted, considering they were both virgens.

In time, the sex got better and Octavia started discovering her likes and dislikes, but she couldn't help but wonder if she would ever be able to have an orgasm without finishing off herself. No matter how hard her boyfriend tried, it was impossible for her to come if she didn't use her own hands. It didn't bother her, but it had caused some tension between the young lovers and in time they also drifted apart due to other differences and issues, so they eventually broke up after almost three years of relationship.

Soon after that, she obtained the Orthopaedic Surgery and Traumatology medical residency in Marbella, so she moved to the south of Spain where she met Clarke and Raven. There had been some insignificant affairs in the last couple of years, but she could honestly say that she had never been in love in her entire life.

The closest she'd gotten to developing strong feelings for someone was in her first year of med school when she met a beautiful, vibrant student from Cádiz, with long curly hair and dark skin, by the name of María Dolores, whom everyone called Lola. She had declared herself bisexual and Octavia was immediately drawn to her, the feeling seeming to be mutual, considering the fact that they were making out at every student party they attended. Of course, they always did it in the bathroom, because they wanted to avoid being the subject of gossip the first month at the University.

They lived in the same student dorm and in one ocassion things got heated when they continued one of their kissing sessions in Lola's room after a night out.

Their hands started wandering, discovering the sensitive zones of their bodies and Octavia's excitement actually lead to an orgasm just by feeling Lola's body on top of her and despite of the fact that they were fully dressed.

The way her body reacted was something new and rather scary, and she didn't know how to handle it, so she decided not to go through with it and went back to her room.

The next day Lola told her that a spot had just opened up at the University of Sevilla, which was her first choice, and she'd gotten in, so she was transferring there because it was closer to home. They had only met three weeks before Lola left and after that they never saw each other again, but it was the most intense feeling Octavia had ever had.

Until Raven.

And there she was, sitting in the on-call room, holding the phone in her hands, looking at Raven's name on the screen and building up the courage to write to her.

**Text message**

_Octavia:_  
"Hey, Raven... How are you? Would you like to grab a coffee with me tomorrow?"

_"Arghhhh that's so stupid, I can't send that, fuck..."_ she thought and deleted what she was typing, and then gave it another try.

_Octavia:_  
"Hey, Raven! What's up?"

_"Shit, what are you, like 12?? Fuck it!"_ she deleted it again and closed the chat with Raven without sending anything.

Suddenly she remembered that she knew exactly where Raven was going to be the next day. She opened the chat with Ricky and started typing.

_Octavia:_  
"Hey, Ricky 🙂 What time are you going to the gym tomorrow?"

The reply came instantly.

_Ricky:_  
"Hey, O! 😊 Around 8 pm... Why?"

_Octavia:_  
"I was thinking about getting a one day pass to check it out and see if I like it there. Would it be alright if I came along?"

_Ricky:_  
"Of course! 😁 I'd like that a lot! What time do you finish work tomorrow? Wanna grab lunch?"

_Octavia:_  
"8 am, I'm doing a 24-hour shift today... Actually, I'm going to eat at home tomorrow, I don't know what time I'll get up, it all depends on how much sleep I'll get tonight. Raincheck?"

_Ricky:_  
"Of course, I understand 😉 Get some rest then and I'll see you at the gym 💪🏾"

_Octavia:_  
"Great! 😁 See you tomorrow! 🏋🏻♀️"

Octavia smiled before locking the screen and went to the cafeteria to get some coffee.

* * *

Right about the same time, Raven was sunbathing by the pool and talking to Clarke about, well who else if not Octavia.

"I want to do something special, you know?" she said as she was lying on her back. "I mean, I dont't want to just text her today while she's at work and ask her out... Plus, she'll probably be tired tomorrow."

"Wow, I'm seeing a whole new side of Raven," Clarke teased her. "I like it!"

"Shut up!" Raven blushed and smiled at her friend. "But seriously, though... Any advice?"

"Well..." Clarke thought for a second. "You could write her a letter."

Raven lifted the upper part of her body and leaned back on her elbows, turning her head to get a better look at Clarke.

When she saw the expression on her face, she realized that her friend was not making a joke.

"You're being serious?" Clarke nodded. "And then what? Send it to her?"

"Why not? Or you could deliver it to her personally," she winked at her friend.

"I suppose I could do that... tomorrow instead of doing cardio at the gym, I'll run to her place after the training and I'll leave it in her mailbox... Or I'll ring the bell and tell her that I have a delivery for her."

"Awwww that's super romantic, Ray! I love it!" Clarke was very excited to see Raven taking the initiative.

They smiled at each other and then spent the day relaxing and talking about their love interests.

* * *

On Monday, Raven was definitely feeling the nerves as the day went by. A few minutes past 8 pm she was packing the gym bag and getting ready to go to the gym. She put the letter she had written earlier that day in the inner pocket of the bag and said goodbye to Clarke before she went out of the apartment.

When she arrived at the gym, she went to the locker room to leave her bag and then directly to the cardio area where she thought Ricky might be waiting for her to start the work out session together.

What she didn't expect was to see him accompanied by no other than the young Spanish woman who stole her heart.

Raven stopped for a moment due to the shock she experienced seeing Octavia on the treadmill and took a good look at her from head to toes.

She was wearing black and blue knee length leggings, a black bra and a very loose, almost see-through white tank top.

Raven's heart started pounding as she was gazing at the brunette's body that moved so elegantly on that treadmill and she could swear in that moment that she had just experienced the peak of the tremendous attraction she felt for Octavia.

Ricky suddenly noticed Raven standing on the side and greeted her with a huge smile on his face.

"Raven! Come join us!"

Octavia turned around and locked eyes with the Latina who was still struggling to asimilate what her eyes were seeing in that moment.

Raven didn't say anything, she just approached them and then stood on the unoccupied treadmill next to Octavia, who hadn't taken her eyes off of her the whole time she was walking towards them.

"I didn't know we're having company today," she said and glanced at Octavia and Ricky, smiling at them.

"Well, I thought it was about time that someone showed you how it's done properly," Octavia teased her with a smirk on her face.

"Auch! Burn!" Ricky joked.

"Oh, we'll see about that," Raven laughed. "You know what they say... a barking dog never bites," she winked at Octavia and started running on the treadmill.

"Did you just call me a dog?" Octavia pretended to be offended and she couldn't help but smile at Raven when their eyes met again.

"That depends... Did you just call me weak?" Raven teased back and stuck out her tongue at Octavia.

"Come on, girls, less talk and more action!" Ricky laughed at their interraction, but couldn't help but feel a little bit jealous at the obvious sexual tension between the two women.

After finishing with cardio, they went to the area with the weight-lifting machines and Raven was about to get started her first set of 15 reps on the seated chest press machine, when Octavia passed by and leaned over her shoulder.

"By the way, I do bite sometimes, as you might remember..." she whispered in Raven's ear before walking away and sitting on the seated back row machine in front of her.

Raven felt chills down her spine, remembering the night they kissed at the club and the way Octavia bit her lower lip.

Not longer after that, the three of them were still in the same working out area, when suddenly someone approached Raven from behind and startled her when she spoke close to her ear.

"Hey, sexy..." Ontari flirted.

Raven's body was tense as she turned around to face the attractive Canadian.

Octavia was standing nearby and was trying not to be too obvious when she was looking at them and eavesdropping, making an effort to understand their conversation in English.

"Oh, hi..." Raven gave Ontari an awkward smile. "Didn't see you there..."

"I just did some cardio and then I saw your cute little butt, so I had to come and say hi..." Ontari then winked at her.

"Um... Yeah, I... we're just getting started over here," Raven scratched the back of her neck and looked at where Octavia and Ricky were.

Ontari followed her eyes and noticed Octavia who was staring at her, looking almost mad.

"Oh, I see..." she smiled and looked back at Raven. "Well, I'll keep an eye on you then, make sure you're not slacking..."

Ontari walked away and Raven quickly turned around to see if Octavia was still looking in her direction, but she was out of luck, as the brunette was now on her way to another machine.

Raven didn't want Octavia to get the wrong impression of what was going on between her and Ontari, but she also knew that she didn't owe her or anyone any explanation, since she was single and could do whatever she pleased. However, she would be willing to answer all of Octavia's questions if the latter felt the same way and wanted to be with her as much as she did.

She decided that she would hide the letter inside Octavia's bag once they went to the locker room and that way Octavia could find it at home while taking the clothes out of the bag.

The rest of their work out was a lot of fun, it seemed that Octavia had forgotten about the flirtatious Canadian and they were laughing while competing between themselves in weight lifting, and of course Ricky won, as was to be expected.

"Told you I could do it," he bragged.

"Today doesn't count, I was distracted," Raven joked, refusing to accept his win and looked at Octavia right about the time she said that she was distracted, smiling at her.

"Yeah, yeah, you're full of excuses," Ricky laughed on the way to the locker rooms, unaware of the exchange of timid smiles between the two women. "Alright, I'll see you two outside when you're done, yeah?"

Raven and Octavia entered the locker room, feeling a bit nervous about taking their clothes off in front of each other.

They took their bags out of the lockers in silence and couldn't help but glance at each other once in a while as they were taking off their clothes.

Octavia quickly put a towel around her naked body and locked her bag inside the locker before she turned to face Raven, who was already covered with a big towel as well.

"It's this way," Raven leaned her head in the direction of the showers as their eyes met, realizing that she'd have to try and hide the letter in Octavia's bag later.

Octavia chose one cubicle and Raven entered the one right next to hers. Having her so close, imagining her naked under the shower was so frustrating and exhilarating at the same time, she had to bite her tongue not to invite her to her side of the wall panel.

Couple of minutes later, Octavia was the first to finish, so she went to her locker, took out her clothes and started wiping the water off her body. She put on her black lace Brazilian panties and just when she was finishing hooking her black lace bra behind her back, the door opened and Ontari came into the locker room.

"Hello," she greeted Octavia in Spanish.

"Hi," Octavia responded with a fake smile.

Ontari opened her locker and then turned around to take another look at Octavia's toned body.

"You have an amazing body," she said while looking at her over her shoulder. "How come I haven't seen you here before?"

"It's my first time here," Octavia replied, ignoring the compliment.

"It figures..." Ontari continued. "I would've definitely remembered you," she said in a seductive tone, looking at Octavia, who was putting on her pants and shirt.

In that moment the sound of running water stopped, and soon after that Raven came out of the shower wearing nothing but a towel around her body.

She stopped for a moment before walking towards her locker, when she noticed that Octavia was not alone and by the look on her face she was sure that Ontari had already said something that had made her uncomfortable.

"Speaking of hot bodies..." Ontari spoke in English and smiled at Raven, who opened the locker and ignored the insinuation.

Ontari took off her clothes and leaned on the coat rack that was part of the bench in the middle, completely naked.

"You know, you could've waited for me to take a shower together..." she said to Raven, whose body was all of the sudden stiff as a rock. "Plus, I owe you one, since you took such good care of me on Friday..." Ontari winked at her. "Should I wait for you in the same cubicle as usual?"

Raven couldn't believe her bad luck and Ontari's timing couldn't have been worse. She turned around quickly and looked at Octavia who was already done packing her bag and was getting ready to leave.

The Latina was hoping Octavia's English was not good enough to understand what Ontari was saying, at least not all of it.

Ontari realized that Raven was looking at Octavia, so she turned to the brunette and this time she spoke in Spanish.

"Your friend can join us if she'd like... The more the merrier," she laughed.

"Thank you for the invitation," Octavia finally spoke in fluent English with a bit of a Spanish accent. "But I'm going to have to decline and let you two finish what you started on Friday."

She glanced quickly at Raven with disappointment and pain in her eyes and walked fast out of the locker room, trying her best not to start crying.

Raven was in shock and was unable to move or speak in the next couple of seconds before she heard Ontari's voice again.

"Well, that's a shame..." she sighed. "Coming, then?"

Raven looked at her angrily and instead of replying, she ran towards the door and outside of the locker room, wearing only a towel, trying to catch up with Octavia.

She wasn't in the hallway, so Raven ran past the reception and towards the entrance/exit door and suddenly stopped when she saw Octavia outside, standing on her tiptoes, with her hands around Ricky's neck, who was holding her in his arms as they were kissing.

The image made her stomach turn and she felt a lump in her throat, spreading to her chest where it felt like it got stuck in her lungs, making it hard for her to breathe. Her knees suddenly felt weak and she had to lean with her back onto the wall behind the column to avoid falling. She looked down at her bare feet on the cold floor and she suddenly felt like the biggest fool for running after Octavia just to find her making out with her boyfriend.

Raven couldn't believe that she had been so mistaken; there she was, worried about Octavia getting the wrong impression and it turned out she actually couldn't care less about Ontari or whomever she slept with. All of those signs she thought she had read correctly were just a bunch of bullshit.

Of course Octavia didn't want to be with her. It certainly didn't seem so, not with Ricky's big, strong arms wrapped around her.

She shook her head thinking about how stupid she'd been and then she saw someone's feet in front of hers, only these were inside of a pair of tennis shoes.

"Raven, are you alright?"

Raven heard a female voice that sounded familiar and she looked up, recognizing Silvia, the gym receptionist.

"Yes, yes, I'm fine, Silvia, thank you..." she stood up straight and smiled at her. "I'm gonna go get dressed."

The young women was looking at her as she walked away, not knowing exactly what to think of that unusual situation.

Once she was back in the locker room, Raven could hear the shower running, assuming Ontari was in there, so she quickly got dressed, picked up her belongings and left.

When she got to the reception, she made sure that Octavia and Ricky were no longer outside the entrance door and walked out of there.

Couple of minutes later she arrived home and slammed the door, startling Clarke who was watching Netflix in the living room.

"Ray?" Clarke sounded worried.

"Yes," Raven entered the living room and threw the gym bag on the floor.

Clarke pressed pause and stood up when she saw the state Raven was in. It was an expression she had never seen on her friend's face before.

"Ray, what's wrong?"

Raven didn't say anything, instead she just sat at the dining table where she had left her lap top earlier that day. She turned it on and started typing something.

"Ray... You're scaring me... Are you ok?" Clarke was slowly approaching her, trying to find the best way to help her friend open up.

Raven stopped typing and looked down at the floor.

"She chose him," she said quietly.

"Octavia?" Raven nodded. "But... I don't understand... Did you give her the letter?"

"No, and it's a good thing I didn't... I would've made even a bigger fool out of myself."

"You're not a fool, Ray..." Clarke said and sat down on a chair, next to Raven. "What happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Raven looked back at the screen and started typing again. "It doesn't matter anyway.... I just have to get away from here."

"What?" Clarke was confused and then she saw that Raven was booking a flight to New York. "Are you going home?"

"Yes," she said as she continued typing.

"Are you sure, Ray? Maybe you should stay and talk to her, maybe it was a misunderstanding..."

"I saw them, Clarke!" Raven raised her voice. "I'm done, ok? I just want to forget about it and move on, ok?"

"Ok... Whatever you need..." Clarke decided to give her space. "I love you and I'm here for you when you want to talk about it," she stood up and hugged her from behind.

"I love you, too..." Raven whispered and turned off the lap top after booking the first available flight to New York. "Could you take me to the airport tomorrow at 6 pm?"

"Anything you need," Clarke replied and gave her a kiss on the forehead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me... I had to do it this way... Hope you liked it anyway 😊


	17. Unique

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Raven talk about Octavia on the way to the airport. Lexa is finally back in LA and she tells her friend Maia all about Clarke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm SO grateful for your comments, it really inspires me to keep writing ❤️ I'll publish the next chapter on Sunday and I will always try to publish at least once a week.

_Tuesday, 23rd of July, 2019_

"Are you sure about this?" Clarke asked from the passenger seat as she was putting on the seat belt and looked at Raven who was behind the wheel, starting the car.

"Absolutely," Raven smiled at her as she pressed the gas pedal.

"Okay, then..." she nodded. "What did you tell your boss, by the way?"

"Family emergency... I have a lot of vacation days left anyway, so she was cool about it. Plus, it's almost August, and you know how Spain's practically asleep the whole month," she smiled again while driving, focused on the road ahead.

"True that..." Clarke agreed and then bit her lip, feeling nervous about the next subject she was about to open. "Did you... Have you spoken to Octavia?"

Raven clenched her jaw before answering, feeling a sudden sensation of heat in her chest.

"No," she responded as she was losing the debate inside her head about whether she should ask Clarke about Octavia. "Did you see her today?"

"I did, yes..." Clarke answered and saw how her friend swallowed hard. "But, only before the morning meeting, we didn't get a chance to talk or anything..."

"Clarke, I know you're always trying to fix everything, but don't forget you promised me not to talk to her about this..."

"I don't even know what THIS is, Ray..." she said, feeling a little annoyed. "I understand that it's hard for you, but I really wish you could tell me... You know, talking about it might actually help you."

"There's nothing to tell, Clarke..." Raven sighed and glanced at her friend who was clearly disappointed, and then turned her eyes back on the road. "Look... you know I trust you, right?" Clarke nodded and Raven exhaled before speaking. "She was at the gym with Ricky..."

Clarke turned her head and looked at Raven, surprised at the information, but she didn't say anything, waiting for her friend to continue.

"We had a lot of fun, actually, the three of us..." a sad smile found its way on Raven's lips. "And Oct... she was even flirting with me... at least that's what I thought, I don't know... And then I got out of the shower and she was there, in the locker room, already dressed and then I saw that Ontari was also there... Suddenly everything felt so awkward and tense when Ontari starting hitting on me, well on both of us, actually, and then Octavia..." she paused due to the sting she felt the moment her name left her lips. "She left... she said that she had to decline Ontari's offer and that the two of us should finish what we had started on Friday..."

"Wait..." Clarke interrupted. "How did she know about what happened on Friday?"

"Ontari mentioned it when she was inviting me to take a shower together..." Raven explained. "Anyway, she left the locker room and next thing I know I'm running after her like a fool, wearing nothing but a fucking towel... I made it all the way to the reception and there they were... kissing."

"Ray..." Clarke felt her friend's pain with every word she said and she knew that she was too blinded by it to see the real reason behind Octavia's behaviour. "She was jealous!"

Raven laughed out loud sarcastically.

"Come on, Clarke... we're adults and this is not some soap opera," she said. "It didn't look like it was their first kiss either... They're dating, I just didn't want to accept it."

"No, they're not!" Clarke raised her voice and then realized what she had just said when she locked eyes with Raven. "I think she's just using him to make you jealous, Ray... Why would she kiss you otherwise? And flirt with you all the time? She ran out of the locker room because she was jealous of Ontari, why can't you see that?"

"Stop it, Clarke! You're seeing things that aren't there because you're all lovey-dovey right now and excited about seeing Lexa and all... but this is just not one of those stories with a happy ending, ok?" Raven's tone was a bit more harsh than at the beginning of the conversation. "I am aware that there's some chemistry between us and she's flirting with me and kissing me because she knows she can and it's fun for her. If I didn't have feelings for her and if she wasn't dating Ricky I would probably go along with it... but I DO have feelings for her and she IS dating him, so... I'm not interested in being her toy, Clarke... and Ricky is actually an awesome guy and he doesn't deserve this."

"Fine! I won't insist on it, even though I disagree, but whatever..." Clarke decided to go back to the role of an observer, at least until the dust settled.

The rest of the ride to the airport was mostly silent, they were not mad at each other, it was just difficult to talk about trivia when there was something lingering in the air that was to be avoided at all cost.

They said their goodbyes at the Departure terminal and Clarke left after a long hug, promising to take good care of Raven's car.

* * *

Lexa was finally in her own apartment in L.A., slowly waking up and stretching her body in her king size bed.

A little after 9:30 pm she was on her way to the bathroom when she heard the door bell and smiled, knowing that it was her friend Maia, as they had agreed to have breakfast together. It was something they were both anxious to do since the moment Lexa texted her from Paris that there was something important she needed to tell her and the only information that Maia was able to pull out off her friend was that it was about a girl.

After buzzing her in, Lexa unlocked the door and went to the bathroom. She was brushing her teeth when she heard Maia come in and close the door behind her.

"Lexa?" she shouted.

"In here!" she shouted back after spitting out the water mixed with toothpaste.

Maia left the bags containing their breakfast in the kitchen and went to the bathroom where she figured Lexa's voice was coming from.

Her friend was wiping the water off her face with a towel and she rushed to give her a strong hug from behind, wrapping her arms around Lexa's waist.

"I missed you so much, you big dork!" Maia shrieked, startling her friend.

"I missed you too," Lexa laughed and left the towel on the sink. "You're squeezing me!" she complained.

"Deal with it," Maia laughed, her arms still tight around her friends waist, leaning her head on her back.

Lexa laughed out loud at her friend's silliness and a few moments later they were on their way to the kitchen, where she took out plates for the bagels Maia brought.

"I got your favourite bagels and tea," Maia said as she took the content out of the bag.

"Thank you, I'm starving..." Lexa said and put the plates on the kitchen island.

She started eating immediately, not fully aware of the curious look her friend was giving her while taking a sip of her coffee.

Maia finally got Lexa's attention when she cleared her throat intentionally and she looked at her, her mouth full of food.

"So..." Maia was becoming impatient.

Lexa swallowed the food down her throat and took a sip of her tea.

"What?" she was pretending she didn't know what her friend's look meant.

"Lexa! Talk!"

"Alright, alright..." Lexa laughed. "I met someone in Paris."

"I already know that! Details, Lexa, details!" Maia couldn't help but laugh as well.

"God, calm down... I'm getting there," she stuck out her tongue before she continued. "She's... Her name's Clarke," she said and immediately felt the heat in her cheeks.

"Clarke? That's unique," Maia commented.

"She is, yes..." the redness on Lexa's cheeks spread to her entire face and became two tones darker, which didn't go unnoticed by Maia.

However, she decided not to comment on it... yet.

"How did you meet?" she asked.

"At the convention," Lexa replied. "I saw her first when we took a selfie together and then again with her friend at the photoshoot... And again at the autograph session."

"So she's a fan or she worked at the convention?"

"A fan..." she smiled. "She was gorgeous, Maia... The moment I laid eyes on her, I just knew she was special, you know?" Lexa said with a dreamy look in her eyes. "I just didn't know what to do and how to ask her out, I mean, it had never happened to me before... I thought it would be weird for her... she came to meet me as an actress, you know, and then I hit on her..."

"So, what did you do?" Maia was intrigued.

"Nothing... she left... and then I found a note from her on the table, asking me if I wanted to hang out after the convention and she had written down her phone number... Long story short, I texted her, picked her up at her hotel, we kissed in the car on the way to the restaurant, had drinks afterwards and... and we spent the night in my hotel room," by the time she finished she felt as if the temperature had risen dangerously and she stood up to take a glass of water.

"Oh my God!" Maia exclaimed. "You had a one night stand! How was it? Was she good? How many times did you do it?"

Lexa laughed at her friend's excitement, drank some water before answering and leaned on the kitchen island.

"It was the best sex of my life," she sighed. "I don't know exactly how many times we did it, more than five for sure, between five and ten I'd say... and I came like bizzilion times and it was super intense."

"Holy shit, Lexa! You fucked all night or what?"

"And morning..." her smile was getting bigger and bigger, feeling more relaxed as she talked about it.

"Wow! It looks like the French invented sex as well, not only the French kissing."

"She's Australian!" Lexa laughed when she saw Maia's eyes grow wider. "Half Slovenian actually," Lexa explained. "And Maia... I haven't told you the best part..."

"What could be better than a bizzilion orgasms, dude?"

"Remember my first crush? In Australia?"

"The singer on that talent show?" Lexa nodded. "What about her?"

"It's her!" Lexa said with a huge smile on her face and Maia's jaw dropped. "I know, I couldn't believe it either... She's so smart, Maia... she's beautiful and kind and... she makes me feel so... I don't know, like... home. It was like nothing else mattered and it was just us and it was enough, we didn't need anything else..."

"Wow, Lexa... I've never seen you like this before," Maia was surprised to see her friend in that state.

"It's because I've never felt like this before... I know it's crazy, I mean, I barely know her, right?" Lexa paused. "But, it feels so right, Maia... I can't stop thinking about her."

"Have you been in contact since then?"

"All the time... I feel like a teenager with the phone in my hands all the time, checking for messages," she chuckled.

"And you don't even like texting!"

"I know, right?" Lexa laughed. "We do video calls as well..." she said and then Maia moved her eyebrows suggestively. "Not THAT kind of video calls," she laughed again. "We just... talk."

"Wow... I don't know what to say... This is just... wow..." Maia was at loss for words. "Where does she live, then?"

"In Spain," Lexa said and saw Maia frown, looking confused. "She's a doctor and she's doing her medical residency there," Lexa said proudly. "And you should see the way she draws! And her voice is so sexy... and she speaks like 100 languages..." she sighed. "She's perfect."

"Damn... she sounds unreal... Are you sure she isn't a fruit of your imagination due to the lack of sex?" Maia joked.

"Shut up," Lexa laughed. "She's as real as the marks she left on my back," she stuck out her tongue at her friend.

"Ohhhhh someone likes it rough," Maia teased her. "Let me see her, show me this perfect woman of yours."

Lexa took her phone and showed Maia some of the photos Clarke had sent her and she also went to her Instagram page and scrolled through her photos.

"Wow! She's beautiful, Lexie..." Maia expressed her admiration and then stopped at one of Clarke's photos where she could see her whole body and then she zoomed in on her cleavage. "Damn, it's a good thing you have big hands... Those knockers are huge! Nice!"

Lexa couldn't help but laugh while taking the phone away from her friend.

"For a straight woman you sound a lot like a guy," she said, laughing. "And I'll have you know that I've discovered that I'm a boob person. Hers are sooo soft... and firm at the same time, and they fit perfectly in my hands and I just want to touch them all the time."

"Lexa... I don't want to be the killer of romance here, but... there's literally an ocean between the two of you," Maia said with concern in her big brown eyes. "Don't get me wrong, I love seeing you all smitten and excited, but... where is this going? Does she feel the same? How much do you really know about this girl?"

"I'm..." Lexa tilted her head down and paused before answering in a soft voice. "I'm going to Spain."

"What? When?" Maia's eyes were wide open.

"In a week," Lexa answered and finally lifted her head up to face her friend.

"Weren't you supposed to go to Australia to visit your family?"

"I'm still going... my flight's on the 13th of August, from Málaga..." she explained. "Look, Maia... I know that it's a bit intense and all, but... I can't help it. I think about her all the time and she feels the same," Lexa blushed. "She wrote me a song for my birthday."

"Oh wow... that's..." Maia was pleasantly surprised. "I guess you guys found each other, or what? And in Paris, of all places!" she smiled gently at her friend and stood up to give her a hug. "I'm so glad for you, Lexa..." she said and her friend looked at her, narrowing her eyes, waiting for that 'but' she knew was coming. "Don't look at me like that!" Maia laughed. "I just don't want you to get hurt, ok?"

"I know... but don't worry, ok? She's one of the good ones, I know it..." Lexa tried to reassure her friend.

"Is she a natural blonde, by the way?" Maia suddenly asked, confusing Lexa.

"Um... I think so... I'm not sure. I mean, I didn't ask. Why?"

"What colour was her hair... you know... down there?" Maia looked down at her groin.

"She..." Lexa blushed, remembering Clarke's naked body. "She didn't have any."

"Hm... What about the hair on her forearms?"

"She barely had any... Probably blonde... but that could also be from the sun."

"Ask her," Maia suggested.

"What? No!"

"Oh, come on... If she's so perfect as you say she is, she won't mind," Maia insisted.

"She's taking her friend to the airport today... what time is it?"

"It's almost 10 am," Maia answered, looking at her phone. "What's time is it there?"

"7 pm," Lexa replied hastily. "I'll text her to see if she's back," she said and started typing.

**Text message**

_Lexa:_  
"Hi, Clarke 😊 Are you back from the airport?"

Couple of minutes later, she received a reply from the blonde.

_Clarke:_  
"Hey you 😊 I just arrived, actually... I was parking Raven's car when I got your message 😉 Did you sleep well?"

"Call her!" Maia interrupted before Lexa was able to write back.

"No way," Lexa shook her head and sat on the couch, Maia following her.

"Come on, I want to hear her speak," she begged. "Please?" she blinked repeatedly, looking at her friend.

"Arghhhh... fine, I'll ask her..." Lexa caved to the pressure. 

**Text message**

_Lexa:_  
"Could we maybe have a video chat? 😳 I'm with Maia and she wants to meet you... It's totally fine if you say no, really... she made me ask you 🙄"

Instead of a reply, Lexa was surprised to see an incoming video call from Clarke on the screen. She felt nervous and looked at Maia who was laughing at her, feeling satisfied with herself.

"Behave!" Lexa threatened, pointing her finger at her friend before answering the call.

**Video call**

_Lexa:_  
"Hi," she smiled when she saw Clarke on the screen.

The blonde was wearing a black sleeveless t-shirt with an illustration of an eagle on the front and the word TOPANGA written in white thick letters above it. Her hair was was wavy, in a casual sexy way, which Lexa noticed before she got lost in Clarke's big blue eyes that seemed to have become even more intensly blue due to the contrast with the perfectly applied eyeliner.

_Clarke:_  
"Hi, Lexa..." she smiled at the camera.

_Lexa:_  
"Hi," Lexa was so nervous that she repeated herself which made Maia laugh out loud.

_Maia:_  
"You already said that, you dork..." she teased her and received a punch in the shoulder from Lexa. "Auch!" she complained and Clarke laughed on the other side of the phone.

_Lexa:_  
"I'm sorry," she said and felt the heat rise in her cheeks. "Um... that was Maia..." she turned the camera toward her. "Maia, this is Clarke."

_Clarke:_  
"Nice to meet you, Maia!"

_Maia:_  
"Likewise! I've heard A LOT about you," she said and saw Lexa rolling her eyes.

_Clarke:_  
"Good things, I hope..." Clarke smiled at her.

_Maia:_  
"Oh, yeah... The BEST ever, right Lexa?" she said and looked at her friend who opened her mouth in shock and quickly turned the camera back to herself, hoping Clarke couldn't see all the shades of red all over her face.

_Lexa:_  
"I'm so sorry, Clarke... Don't mind her, ok? She's just trying to embarrass me," she said and then saw that Clarke was clearly amused by the whole situation, which made her relax a little bit.

_Clarke:_  
"It's fine," she laughed. "That's exactly what Raven's been doing to me..."

_Lexa:_  
"Say goodbye, Maia..." she turned the camera again and her friend waved at Clarke, while Lexa was walking in the direction of her bedroom.

_Maia:_  
"Alright, I got the message... I'll wait here, then... by myself..." she complained.

_Lexa:_  
"I'll be right back, just scroll on Instagram or something," she said before she entered the bedroom, sat on the bed and looked at the screen where a smiling Clarke was looking back at her. "Hey..." she smiled.

_Clarke:_  
"That was fun," Clarke smiled back.

_Lexa:_  
"Uh huh..." she rolled her eyes. "Do you miss Raven already?"

_Clarke:_  
"Strangely, yes! But at the same time I think it's a good thing she left... she needs to figure some things out," she said and Lexa looked at her, cofused. "I'll explain some other time."

_Lexa:_  
"Sure, we can talk about it next week if you'd like... in person," she gave her a timid smile.

_Clarke:_  
"Oh... Something tells me we'll be doing a lot more than just talking, Lexa..." she lifted her eyebrow with a smirk on her face.

Lexa felt a wave of an electric feeling through her entire body and knew that waiting for her flight to Spain was going to be the most excruciating week of her life.


	18. Hercules

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Octavia and Clarke have an honest conversation about Raven.  
Clarke and Lexa take their relationship to a new level 🔥

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had some free time, so I decided to publish the chapter today instead of Sunday. Hope you like it!

One of the things Clarke loved doing was, believe it or not, cleaning. She found a great deal of pleasure in taking the whole day for that activity, always leaving the apartment spotless. It was also very therapeutic, as she had discovered in the previous years, and she didn't mind the "side effect" of burning calories in the process. For her it was definitely a lot more fun than running, which she never liked, even when she was a basketball player back in high school.

It was the day after Raven had gone home to New York, so Clarke spent the whole afternoon cleaning the entire apartment while enjoying loud energetic music in the background.

She took the clothes out of the dirty laundry basket in her bathroom and then went to Raven's to do the same.

On her way out of her roommate's bathroom, she noticed Raven's gym bag on the floor, as she was about to go to the laundry/storage room between the two bathrooms. She shook her head as she turned it over and Raven's clothes fell out of the bag, as well as a white envelope. Clarke leaned over and took it in order to look at it closely.

As she turned it around, she saw Octavia's name written on the front and realized that it was the letter that Raven had planned on giving her the night she saw her kissing Ricky. Clarke thought about leaving it in Raven's room, but she knew that the Latina would probably just throw it out as soon as she got back from New York, so instead she hid it in a drawer in her own room, hoping that Raven would eventually change her mind and decide to give it to Octavia after all.

By the end of the day, Clarke was pleased with the cleanliness of the apartment and decided to have a nice, long bath and relax with some music by SBTRKT in the background.

After a while, as she got out of the bathroom, wrapping a towel around her body, she heard the doorbell ringing repeatedly and hurried to answer the intercom.

"Hello?"

"Clarke, it's me - she heard a female voice that sounded a lot like Octavia."

"O? Is that you?"

"Yes. Let me in?"

"Sure, come on up," she said and buzzed her friend in.

It was unusual for Octavia to just drop by unannounced, especially at 11 pm, but Clarke didn't think much of it until she saw her friend getting out of the elevator, looking... pissed? Sad? Both?

"Why aren't you answering your phone?" she barked at Clarke.

"Um... I was in the bathroom," Clarke answered confused.

"An entire hour?" Octavia raised her eyebrows and then started pacing around the living room.

"I was taking a bath, my phone's probably in the bedroom..." she explained calmly. "Why? O, what's going on?"

"Where's Raven?" she suddenly stopped and stood in a hands-on-hips pose, facing Clarke.

"What?" she didn't know what to think of Octavia's behaviour. "She's not here. Why?"

"I know she's not here, Clarke..." she said, sounding annoyed. "Ricky told me that she didn't go to the gym today, so he sent her a text and she texted him back, telling him she's out of town... and that she didn't know when she was coming back."

"It's true, as I said, she's not here..." Clarke was now starting to feel annoyed as well. "But the question is, what's it to you? Did you need her or something?" she raised her eyebrow, waiting for Octavia's answer.

"Need her? Pfff..." Octavia laughed sarcastically, while trying to figure out an excuse why she was looking for Raven.

"Why are you here, then?" Clarke insisted and was determined to get the truth out of her friend.

"To hang out, why else?" she said as she turned around to avoid Clarke's interrogating look. "The three of us... Raven said we could hang out today... But I suppose she had better things to do."

"O..." Clarke decided to stop the games and to confront Octavia. "Come on..." she said, moving closer to Octavia and placed her hand on her friend's shoulder. "Be honest, please... talk to me."

Octavia slowly turned around to face her and by the time their eyes met, Clarke could see that they were teary and puffy, as if she had been crying for a while.

"Come, sit down..." Clarke suggested and they sat on the couch as she waited for Octavia to start talking.

"I don't know, Clarke... I'm just so... I don't even know what I am..." Octavia spoke as she tilted her head down, looking defeated.

"In love?" Clarke tried her luck.

"What?" Octavia's eyes widened as she faced her friend. "What are you talking about?"

"I don't know, I just... took a guess..." Clarke backed off. "Why don't you tell me what's going on."

"I've no idea what's going on, ok?" she raised her voice. "I feel like I'm boiling inside... I can't stop thinking about... it. I can't sleep, I can't eat, I'm going crazy... It's so frustrating... I don't want to feel this way, and I've been trying to avoid it this whole time... Nothing I've done has worked, it only made it worse, so I thought I'd better say something, you know, to see where I stand... And then there's this horny fuck buddy and they're like fucking in the showers or whatever... Then I kissed Ricky and next thing I know I'm crying in his arms..."

"Whoa, whoa... slow down... Why were you crying?"

"Because, no matter what I do, he's not the one I want to kiss..." she said, looking down at the floor and Clarke could see a single tear rolling down Octavia's cheek.

"Who do you want to kiss, O?" she stroked her back and the memory of doing the same with Raven in that exact same spot a few days earlier crossed her mind.

Octavia leaned with her elbows on her knees and covered her face with her hands before she spoke.

"Raven..." she said in a low, shaky voice.

A few moments later, surprised that there was no reaction to what she had just said, she turned her head and faced Clarke who had a smile on her face.

"Why are you smiling? Aren't you going to say anything?" she frowned.

"I'm smiling because I'm glad to see you finally recognized your own feelings... It took you a while, but here you are and that's all that matters," Clarke said calmly.

"You... you knew?" Clarke nodded. "How? Since when?" Octavia was shocked.

"I've had my suspicions for a while now... but lately it's been very obvious, well, at least to me," she answered.

"And to Raven, I suppose... Did she say anything to you? Did she tell you we kissed?" Octavia was now curious to find out if the feelings were mutual.

"O... I can't... You should talk to her, I can't tell you more than that, but what I CAN tell you is that it takes two to tango," Clarke winked at her friend. "She might feel it too, who knows?"

"Fuck, Clarke..." Octavia stood up abruptly. "I can't talk to her! It's obvious she doesn't feel the same way about me... I mean, she's fucking that girl from the gym one day and then kissing me the next... She loves her freedom, and I... whatever."

"You love her!" Clarke exclaimed as she stood up and Octavia opened her mouth, but was cut off by the blonde before she could speak. "What you've described, my friend, the way you can't stop thinking about her... You're in love."

Octavia just stood there, in front of Clarke, without saying anything.

"Listen... just do me a favor and talk to her, ok? Text her, call her, I don't care, but please talk to her," Clarke insisted.

"What's the point?" Octavia turned away and started walking slowly toward the door.

"O, wait!" Clarke went after her.

"Look, if she wanted to be with me, she wouldn't just go away without saying anything," Octavia turned around to face Clarke. "I don't even know where she is... probably fucking someone else by now."

"She's not, she's in..."

"I don't want to know!" Octavia interrupted her raising her hands. "Please, Clarke, just forget I ever said anything, ok? I need to be alone... And you can't tell her about this, you have to promise me!"

"Argggghhh!" Clarke was frustrated that she had to keep yet another secret because of the stubbornness of her friends.

"Clarke, I mean it!" Octavia insisted.

"Fuck!! Fine, ok? I promise," Clarke finally agreed. "Only if you promise me something."

"I won't talk to her, if that's what you mean."

"No... but you have to talk to Ricky... it's not fair to him."

"I already did... He knew about it from the beginning and then when I kissed him on Monday and literally cried in his face afterwards, we took a walk and talked about it..." Octavia explained. "He also thinks I should talk to Raven, by the way..." she smiled at Clarke, who wanted to say something but Octavia continued talking. "Save your breath... I'm not going to. But don't worry about Ricky, we're just friends and he's no longer hoping for something more."

"I swear to God, you and Raven are the most stubborn people I've ever met! And I'm the one who's Taurus," Clarke expressed her frustration and Octavia smiled. "Fine then, I won't say anything, but promise me you'll at least THINK about talking to Raven when she gets back, ok?"

"When is she coming back?" Octavia couldn't resist to ask.

"She didn't say... why don't you text her and ask her?" Clarke raised her eyebrow and smiled.

"Nice try... Goodnight, Clarke!" Octavia smiled back and walked out of the apartment.

Clarke watched her friend get into the elevator, she then locked the door and went to the bedroom. She found her phone on the bed and unlocked the screen, finding 3 missed calls from Octavia and a message from Lexa.

**Text message**

_Lexa:_  
"My flight is in exactly one week! I just got back from lunch with my manager and I have some news... Wanna talk?"

The message was sent 20 minutes ago, so she decided to text her back to see if she was still available for a video chat.

_Clarke:_  
"I'm so excited to see you!!! I do, yes. Call me?"

In a matter of seconds, the ticks turned blue and there was already an incoming video call from Lexa on the screen.

**Video call**

_Lexa:_  
"Hello!" she smiled at Clarke.

_Clarke:_  
"Hello! It's so good to see your face," Clarke smiled back at her.

_Lexa:_  
"And yours..." Lexa couldn't help but blush when she noticed Clarke's naked shoulders. "Are you... naked?"

_Clarke:_  
"I'm wearing a towel," Clarke laughed and moved the camera lower, showing Lexa her body wrapped in a white towel, revealing her thighs. "See?" she said as she moved the camera back to her face.

_Lexa:_  
"Mmm... I'm not sure..." Lexa bit her lower lip. "Could you maybe show me again?"

_Clarke:_  
"Is that so?" Clarke raised her eyebrows and gave her a smirky smile. "What do I get in return, then? _Quid pro quo_ and all that."

_Lexa:_  
"Hmmm... Would the fact that I've been nominated for an Emmy for Lead Actress in a Drama Series help you lose the towel?" Lexa's lips curled in a big smile.

_Clarke:_  
"Oh my God!" Clarke shrieked. "Oh my God, Lexa! That's amazing!" she couldn't hide her excitement over the news. "You're amazing, of course you're nominated! Congratulations! I'm so happy for you!"

_Lexa:_  
"Thank you," Lexa was mesmerized by Clarke and felt overwhelmed by her reaction. "That's why my manager wanted to have lunch with me today... You're the first person I've told," her cheeks turned red at the confession.

_Clarke:_  
"Wow, Lexa... that's..." Clarke was at loss for words. "I'm honored. Thank you," she smiled timidly.

_Lexa:_  
"Don't thank me, I did it to get you out of that towel," Lexa stuck out her tongue at Clarke and laughed.

_Clarke:_  
"Ooooh that's sneaky!" Clarke opened her mouth, pretending to be shocked. "However... it actually worked," she said and then took off the towel with one hand and showed it to Lexa, whose eyes almost fell off her eye sockets.

Lexa felt her mouth dry out, while the exact opposite thing happened with her sex just at the thought of Clarke's naked body.

Clarke moved the camera back to her face and smiled at Lexa, feeling satisfied with the desire she provoked in her and was written all over her face.

_Clarke:_  
"Is there something you'd like me to show you, Lexa?" she asked in a low, raspy voice.

_Lexa:_  
"I..." she cleared her throat. "Yes, please..." she managed to say and felt the heat in her neck.

_Clarke:_  
"Aren't you a little hot all dressed up, though?" Clarke bit her lower lip and Lexa felt a tingling in her lower abdomen.

_Lexa:_  
"I am, actually... Maybe I should go to the bedroom and... take off my clothes..."

_Clarke:_  
"Definitely, yes... that sounds great, Lexa..." Clarke nodded, smiling at the way the brunette was struggling with her desire while getting over her timidness. "I'll just lie down here, in my bed... naked... is that ok?"

Lexa swallowed hard as she watched Clarke get comfortable on the bed under the white sheets, positioning the phone on the night stand.

_Lexa:_  
"Uh huh, yes, that's... perfect," she nodded and entered her bedroom.

Lexa copied what Clarke had done and left the phone on the night stand and stood in front of the camera.

She was wearing a white top with thin straps, tucked inside black ankle-length skinny jeans.

Clarke was lying on her side, the light material of the sheets covering her breasts, and she was looking at Lexa, trying to grasp the reality of the moment; that gorgeous woman standing in front of the camera actually wanted HER and was about to take off her clothes, for her eyes only. 

_Clarke:_  
"You look stunning, Lexa... I could look at you all day," she said and saw how the nervousness on Lexa's face was slowly fading away and was being replaced by a more confident smile.

_Lexa:_  
"Tell me what you want me to do, Clarke..." her voice was low and incredibly sexy.

_Clarke:_  
"Take off your top..."

Lexa pulled the shirt out of her jeans and then took it off over her head, throwing it on the bed in the process. The black lace bra fitted her perfectly, making Clarke drool at the sight of Lexa's round breasts, reliving the memory of actually holding them in her own hands.

_Clarke:_  
"God... you're gorgeous... Now your jeans... take them off for me..."

She obeyed and started unzipping her pants under the watchful eye of Clarke, who was biting her lip hard, trying to contain the desire building up inside of her.

Lexa's hands were now placed on her hips, under her jeans and she slowly slid them down her legs, bending over and giving Clarke a better view of her breasts. When she straightened herself up, Clarke could see the matching black lace panties and she wished she could take them off herself, preferably with her teeth.

_Clarke:_  
"Fuck, Lexa... I'm so turned on..." she said and saw Lexa smile at the camera. "Go to the bed now, lie down on your side and turn the camera toward you..."

Lexa did what she was asked and once she was there, she looked at the screen and saw that Clarke was moving her fingers around her nipple, over the sheets.

_Clarke:_  
"Do you like what you see, Lexa?"

_Lexa:_  
"I do..." Lexa licked her lips. "But I'd like it even more without the sheets getting in the way..."

_Clarke:_  
"You mean like this?" Clarke pulled the material down, revealing her naked breasts and her hard nipples.

_Lexa:_  
"Fuck, yes..." she could feel a contraction inside her vagina. "Touch them for me, Clarke."

Clarke was leaning on her left arm, with her head on the palm of her hand and she grabbed one of her breasts with her other hand, which made Lexa breathe louder and faster.

_Lexa:_  
"Just like that, yeah..." she sighed.

_Clarke:_  
"Take off your bra... I want to see you..."

Lexa sat up and unhooked the bra behind her back, sliding the straps down her arms and letting the bra fall on her lap.

_Clarke:_  
"Touch them for me..." Clarke was unable to hide her arousal and was squeezing her breast hard as she was waiting for Lexa to do the same.

Lexa grabbed her breasts with both hands and started massaging them, looking at Clarke who was sliding the sheets down her legs, revealing her entire naked body.

She then moved her hand from her breast to her abdomen and in between her legs, touching her clitoris with her fingers.

_Clarke:_  
"You make me so wet..." Clarke moaned.

_Lexa:_  
"Fuck, Clarke... You're so fucking hot..." Lexa lay down for a moment and took off her panties, then she sat up again, leaned back on her hands and opened her legs, offering the magnificent view of her wet pussy to Clarke.

_Clarke:_  
"Lexa... ahhh... fuck..." her hand was moving faster, rubbing her clitoris.

_Lexa:_  
"Clarke... sit up and spread your legs for me... I want to see you."

Clarke stopped what she was doing and did exactly what Lexa asked her to do, and then she grabbed her phone and moved it to her nipple, making circles around it with her finger.

Her hand, along with the camera then moved down her abdomen and to her sex, where she moved gently through her folds, revealing the abundant wetness that covered her fingers, making Lexa moan loudly.

When she put the phone back on the night stand, she could see that Lexa was rubbing her clitoris with her fingers, her legs wide open toward the camera, so Clarke joined her as well.

_Clarke:_  
"I want to fuck you so much, Lexa... I want you in my mouth... mmmm...."

_Lexa:_  
"Aaah Clarke, I'm... Fuck, I'm so close... you turn me on so much..."

_Clarke:_  
"Do you want to be inside me?"

_Lexa:_  
"Oh yes, fuck yes..." her moans were becoming louder and the movements of her hand faster.

_Clarke:_  
"Like this?"

Clarke moved her middle finger toward the entrance of her vagina and slid it all the way in, moving it in and out repeatedly and Lexa could hear the sound of her wetness. That was the last push the brunette needed before her body started shaking, feeling the orgasm starting in her lower abdomen and then spreading all over her body.

_Lexa:_  
"Ahhhhh... I'm... Clarke, I'm.... I'm coming... ahhhhh..."

Clarke could feel her own orgasm building up, so she quickly grabbed her vibrator from the nightstand drawer and put it on her clitoris, with her finger still buried inside of her.

_Clarke:_  
"Me too... Ahhhhhh..."

Their skin was glowing, their cheeks were red and they were panting after the intense orgasm they'd just experienced. They both fell on their back, trying to catch their breath and a few moments later they were sitting in bed, holding their phones and smiling at each other.

_Lexa:_  
"That was..." she cleared her throat before continuing. "HOT."

_Clarke:_  
"Incredibly hot!" Clarke smiled at her. "Do you feel ok about it? I remember you saying you had never done it before..."

_Lexa:_  
"I feel great about it," she had a huge smile on her face. "And I'm glad my first time was with you," she saw Clarke smile back at her. "Well, with you and... I don't think you've introduced us yet."

Clarke looked at her confused and Lexa laughed.

_Lexa:_  
"Your little friend from the drawer," she teased Clarke.

_Clarke:_  
"Oh, right!" Clarke laughed.

She took the vibrator in her hand and showed it to Lexa. It was a simple, medium-sized, smooth, beige coloured vibrator, made entirely out of plastic.

_Clarke:_  
"Meet Hercules," she said proudly and heard Lexa laughing out loud at the introduction.

_Lexa:_  
"Hercules? I can't believe you named your vibrator!"

_Clarke:_  
"Of course I did," she laughed. "You didn't name yours?"

_Lexa:_  
"No," she said and leaned over, taking her small pink rubber vibrator out of the drawer. "Here it is," she showed it to Clarke.

_Clarke:_  
"Awww it's cute!"

_Lexa:_  
"Yeah... it does its job well," she said and put it back in the drawer. "Do you have any other toys?"

_Clarke:_  
"I do... What about you?"

_Lexa:_  
"Not really, no... just some sexy lingerie."

_Clarke:_  
"Mmm..." she moved her eyebrows up and down suggestively. "You could... maybe pack some of it..."

_Lexa:_  
"I could..." Lexa said with a smirk. "And you could show me your toys."

_Clarke:_  
"Now?"

_Lexa:_  
"No," she laughed. "When I get there... I wouldn't mind playing with them."

_Clarke:_  
"Wow..."

Clarke couldn't believe her luck, it was amazing how natural it felt talking to Lexa about practically everything, including sex toys, which not only didn't intimidate her, but she even encouraged it herself. She couldn't help but think of Eva for a moment, remembering their incompatibility in that department, since Eva wasn't open to experimenting at all, whereas Lexa seemed more than happy to do it.

_Lexa:_  
"What?" Lexa's voice interrupted her thoughts.

_Clarke:_  
"I just... I can't wait to see you, Lexa..."

_Lexa:_  
"Soon... Now I can actually say 'See you next Thursday'," she smiled.

_Clarke:_  
"True!" Clarke smiled back.

_Lexa:_  
"You should go to sleep, by the way... it's late and you work tomorrow."

_Clarke:_  
"Are you always this bossy after an orgasm?" she joked.

_Lexa:_  
"Keep making me come and you'll see," Lexa raised her eyebrows and laughed.

_Clarke:_  
"Oh, you can count on that," Clarke winked at her. "Goodnight, Lexa."

_Lexa:_  
"Goodnight, Clarke."

They finished the video chat blowing kisses to the camera and Clarke went to bed, eager to start the next day, because it meant she would be one day closer to seeing Lexa again.


	19. Reunited at last

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa arrives to Spain. Clarke picks up Lexa at the airport and they are both very excited about their vacation together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!
> 
> Here it is, finally... Thank you so much for all the comments, I really appreciate it! Hope you like the new chapter, feel free to let me know what you think.

_Thursday, 1st of August, 2019_

**Text message**

_Clarke (07:03 am):_  
"You're probably asleep, but I have to tell you... I barely slept last night, I'm so excited, Ray! 🤪 I'm actually going to see her today... and hug her, smell her, kiss her... OMG! ❤️"

To Clarke's surprise, the reply came immediately.

_Raven (07:03 am):_  
"New York never sleeps, Clarke 😎 Save your energy, dude, you're gonna need it for all that scissoring you'll be doing later ✂️ ♀️♀️"

_Clarke (07:04 am):_  
"Yaaay, you're awake! Don't make me think about sex, please!"

_Raven (07:04 am):_  
"It's only 1 am, I just got back home. Speaking of sex: don't do it in my car! 🤨"

_Clarke (07:04 am):_  
"We won't! Thank you for letting me use it, by the way. I owe you one! 🙌"

_Raven (07:04 am):_  
"Anytime!😉 I'm going to bed now... Enjoy your love vacations! Goodnight! 😘"

_Clarke (07:05 am):_  
"Thank you! Goodnight, Ray! 😘"

It was way too early for Clarke to be up and about, considering the fact that the estimated time of arrival of Lexa's flight was 11:15 am and she didn't need more than fifty minutes to get to the airport. But it was quite understandable that she was so restless, which ultimately lead to getting only four hours of sleep.

She didn't feel tired, though, on the contrary, she felt like she would need to run a marathon to get rid of all that extra energy that had been keeping her up most of the night. Although, with Lexa by her side, she could easily think of other ways to divert the energy into activities over which she wouldn't mind losing sleep at all.

After sending the last text to Raven, she took a shower and finished packing her bag. Clarke had an idea to spend the first two nights in Málaga after picking up Lexa at the airport and the next one in Granada. Even though she wouldn't mind spending all of their time together in bed, she really wanted Lexa to get the most out of her trip to Spain, enjoying the beauty of the south and getting to know the country's rich culture.

In one of their video chats about a week ago she had asked Lexa about her thoughts on the subject and the latter was excited about Clarke's plan, which was to spend the weekend in Málaga and Granada and to go Marbella on Sunday, the 4th of August. They would spend two nights there and then they would start their eagerly awaited motorcycle road trip through Ronda, Sevilla, Cádiz, Gibraltar and back to Marbella on Friday, the 9th of August. On Saturday they would go to the Airport of Málaga to pick up Raven and they would spend the rest of their vacations in Marbella, until Lexa's flight to Sydney on the 13th of August.

Lexa was thrilled with Clarke's idea and gave her the green light to make the reservations, however she insisted that she would like to pay for it all, which Clarke categorically refused.

_Flashback_

**Video call:**

_Clarke:_  
"Seriously, Lexa, I will be really offended if you keep insisting... You are my guest and there is no way in hell I'm letting you pay for ANYTHING," she said firmly. "I only told you about the plan because I wanted to make sure you liked it before I made the reservations."

_Lexa:_  
"But, Clarke, it doesn't make sense that you pay for everything..."

_Clarke:_  
"Of course it does! I was going to do the road trip anyway, so..."

_Lexa:_  
"Yes, but now the reservations are for two people instead of one."

_Clarke:_  
"I doesn't matter... Lexa, please don't insist..."

_Lexa:_  
"How about a compromise?"

_Clarke:_  
"Hmmm... what kind of compromise?"

_Lexa:_  
"Look, I'd really feel uncomfortable with it if I couldn't contribute in some way... so, how about I let you make the reservations and you let me pay for the gas and the food?"

_Clarke:_  
"Nope, no way," she shook her head.

_Lexa:_  
"No deal, then. I won't go," Lexa raised her eyebrows and looked away.

_Clarke:_  
"Oh, come on... really?" Lexa nodded. "Ughhh... fine, you win! I'll let you pay for gas and food," she gave up.

_Lexa:_  
"Promise?" Lexa had a victory smile on her face.

_Clarke:_  
"I promise," Clarke smiled back. "Raven was right..." she said quietly, thinking about the time her friend used the word 'whipped' to describe her.

_Lexa:_  
"About what?"

_Clarke:_  
"I'll tell you when you get here," she stuck out her tongue playfully at Lexa.

_Lexa:_  
"Not fair!" Lexa protested.

_Clarke:_  
"You've had one win today, let this one go."

_Lexa:_  
"Fine! But only because I have to go... My stylist wants to show me some outfits for the Emmys."

_Clarke:_  
"Ohhhh send me some photos, please."

_Lexa:_  
"I will," she smiled softly. "Talk to you later?"

_Clarke:_  
"Sure. Have fun! Bye!"

_Lexa:_  
"Bye, Clarke!"

_End of flashback_

To Clarke it seemed as if time stood still as she was getting dressed.

She had chosen an outfit that resembled a chauffeur's uniform, excited to see Lexa's reaction at the Arrivals terminal.

August was the hottest month of the year and it was not the best time to wear black clothes with long sleeves, but Clarke was willing to take the risk, so she put on black skinny jeans, black low top shoes, a plain, collared white dress shirt and a black tie. She completed the outfit with a black suit jacket and a black driving cap she'd found in Raven's closet, but decided to put them on once she'd have arrived at the terminal to avoid getting a heatstroke.

A little after 9 am she locked the apartment door and walked to a florist shop across the street to buy flowers for Lexa, because she knew how much she loved them. Instead of white roses, this time she opted for a bouquet of fresh jasmine flowers. Lexa's middle name was Jasmin and Clarke couldn't help but think of her every time she passed by the florist shop and felt the sharp, yet sweet smell of jasmine flowers.

Soon after that she was already in Raven's white Hyundai Ioniq hybrid hatchback on the way to the airport. She would've preferred using her motorcycle, but it was impossible because of Lexa's luggage, so she'd have to wait a few more days to feel the brunette's arms and legs wrapped around her while cruising down the highway at high speed.

Around 10:30 am Clarke had just parked the car on the airport parking's 2nd floor, from where she could easily access the Arrivals terminal.

She grabbed the flowers, the jacket and the hat, along with the sign that said "Ms. Woods" and started walking toward the terminal.

Clarke's heart rate was increasing with each minute that went by, her eyes focused on the Arrivals board, specifically on the flight number BA2714 coming from London Gatwick.

Lexa had called her around 7:30 am to let her know that she had just arrived to London after an almost 11-hour flight from LA and that she would be boarding on the flight to Málaga that was scheduled at 8:30 am.

And now it was exactly 11:10 am and the word LANDED appeared next to the flight number that Clarke had been eyeballing on the Arrivals board for the last half an hour.

As if she wasn't nervous enough, she could now feel her hands ice cold, which reminded her of the convention in Paris where the exact same thing happened to her moments before she met Lexa.

She quickly put on her jacket and the driving cap, even though she knew that it would be at least 15 minutes before Lexa would actually come to where she was, after getting off the plane and recovering her luggage. Still, Clarke wanted to be prepared for when that happened, and also, she didn't mind putting some more clothes on now that the nerves made her body shiver.

About five minutes later she received a text from Lexa, letting her know that she had arrived and that she was already on her way to pick up her luggage. Clarke managed to write back, simultaneously holding the flowers and the sign, and she let Lexa know that she was waiting for her at the Arrivals terminal.

Sooner than she had expected, she located Lexa among the passengers coming through the open glass door, pushing her luggage in between the crowd.

Clarke needed a moment to take it all in as her eyes scanned the Australian actress who even in the most casual outfit had managed to look like a goddess.

She was wearing navy blue ankle-length trousers, with slightly rolled-up pants legs, a loose white t-shirt, white low top shoes and a small black backpack. Apart from the big suitcase, Clarke could notice a light brown carry on bag on top of it, as well as what seemed to be a big duty free bag on her right shoulder. Lexa's long brown hair was wavy and falling casually on her shoulders and over the big white headphones that were resting around her neck, and Clarke was struggling to understand how it was possible that after travelling for almost 14 hours, she could still look so flawless.

Lexa was trying to find Clarke in the crowd, her heart pounding inside her chest, imagining the moment their eyes would finally meet again. But nothing could've prepared her for the sight of her favourite blonde, dressed up in chauffeur's uniform, holding a bouquet of flowers and a sign with "Ms. Woods" written on it.

A mixture of pure happiness and a hint of arousal invaded her entire body, which resulted in the biggest smile as she rushed to throw herself in Clarke's welcoming arms. She let go of the luggage and left it on the spot, along with the carry on and the other bag and wrapped her arms around Clarke's neck, who put hers around Lexa's waist, still holding the flowers and the sign in her hands.

Lexa buried her face in the crook of Clarke's neck and inhaled her scent.

"Mmmm you smell so nice," she said softly.

The warmth of her breath provoked a tingling feeling in Clarke's stomach and goose bumps on her skin. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before speaking, feeling the flowery scent of Lexa's hair.

"Mmmm you too..." she said with a raspy voice and felt Lexa's lips curl into a smile against the skin on her neck.

They stayed like that a little longer, unable to move away from each other and unaware of the curious looks from some of the other passengers walking by.

After a while, Lexa was finally able do 'detach' herself from Clarke and found her blue eyes, her arms still around her neck.

"Hi," she smiled, looking at her up close.

"Hi," Clarke smiled back and her eyes found Lexa's full lips, tempted to feel them on hers.

Lexa bit her lower lip, fully aware of Clarke's desire and she lowered her eyes to her lips, letting her know that she had the exact same thoughts. Clarke looked up again and got lost in her favourite green, which was now overshadowed by Lexa's dilated pupils, the distance between them becoming non-existent as their lips met in a soft, gentle kiss.

Clarke sighed when she felt Lexa's tongue on her lower lip, asking for permission to intensify the kiss. Her lips parted, allowing Lexa to push her tongue inside her mouth where she met Clarke's, who was more than ready to start the familiar dance of the two strong muscles.

Tasting Lexa's vanilla lip balm took her back to Paris, to the moment they kissed for the first time in the back of the car on the way to the restaurant, but the nostalgic feeling was soon replaced by the overwhelming realization that Lexa was in her arms again.

The kiss was gentle, yet passionate, but they were not in a rush, knowing that it was only the first of many, so they slowly separated their lips, trying to calm their breathing as they touched their foreheads together.

"I've been wanting to do that since the last time I saw you," Lexa broke the silence.

"I missed your lips..." Clarke said with her eyes still closed.

Lexa smiled and took a step back, which forced Clarke to let go of her waist and she stood as the brunette took her time to scan her body from head to toes.

"Well... this is a pleasant surprise," she said with a smirk on her face. "Are all chauffeurs in Spain as sexy as you? Or am I just that lucky?"

"Um..." Clarke's cheeks were suddenly flushed. "I believe I'm the lucky one, Ms. Woods," she ignored the heat in her cheeks and smiled seductively at Lexa. "These are for you," she said as she gave Lexa the flowers.

"Oh my God! How did you know I love jasmine flowers?" Lexa took the bouquet and leaned over to smell it.

"I didn't," Clarke confessed. "They kind of remind me of you, don't know why."

"We actually have a jasmine tree in our backyard in Australia and when my mum was pregnant with me, her sense of smell became weirdly strong and she was nauseous all the time... except when she was sitting next to the jasmine tree, somehow the scent of the flowers actually seemed to calm her stomach... That's why my middle name is Jasmin," she finished and smiled at Clarke who was listening to her story attentively.

"Wow... that's interesting," she said with a pensive look on her face. "I wonder if it would work for other pregnant women as well... maybe it could be used as an antiemetic instead of the drugs that are usually prescribed."

"I love the way your doctor brain works... it's hot," she winked at Clarke and leaned to smell the flowers again.

Clarke couldn't help but smile at Lexa's comment and then took Lexa's bag from the floor and grabbed the handle of the suitcase before looking at her over her shoulder.

"Shall we, Ms. Woods?"

"Oh, you don't have to do that, really..." Lexa walked toward her and tried to take the bag off Clarke's shoulder, but the latter moved away.

"I want to," she insisted. "Here, you can take this," she gave her the sign and Lexa smiled at the 'Ms. Woods' written in big black letters in Clarke's handwriting.

A few minutes later, Clarke was opening the trunk of the car, loading Lexa's luggage as the latter was looking at her lustfully, leaning on a concrete pillar next to the car.

Once she was done with the chore, Clarke looked up and was surprised to see Lexa gesturing to her to come closer, moving her index finger repeatedly towards herself. As soon as she approached her, Lexa latched on to the back of her neck and pressed her body against hers, making her feel weak in the knees.

·Aren't you a little hot in that uniform?" she asked and the chills spread down Clarke's spine as she felt Lexa's warm breath upon her lips.

"I am, actually... I was about to take the jacket off," Clarke smiled as she put her hands on Lexa's hips.

"Here, let me help you with that..." she said and moved her hands under the jacket, towards Clarke's shoulders, who placed her arms behind her back to help Lexa in the process.

Once the jacket was off, Lexa opened the back door of the car and leaned inside with her knee on the back seat, placing the piece of clothing behind the seat after she had folded it neatly. Clarke was drooling at the sight of Lexa's behind sticking out of the car and she could swear that the brunette was doing it on purpose, knowing the effect it would have on her.

Instead of coming out of the car, Lexa turned around and lay down on the back seat, leaning on her elbows while spreading her legs. Clarke swallowed hard and slightly bent over to find Lexa's eyes.

"What are you waiting for?" the brunette asked with a smirk on her face, as soon as their eyes met. "I want you, Clarke... I've waited long enough," she said when she saw that the blonde was still not moving.

"Here?" she finally managed to speak after clearing her throat. "The hotel is only 20 minutes away."

"That's 20 minutes too long," Lexa said in a low voice and sat up, moving closer to where Clarke was standing and she pulled her tie, forcing her to bend over and then pressed her lips hungrily onto hers.

Lexa pulled her inside the car as she was moving backwards, allowing Clarke to get on top of her, between her legs. She then wrapped her legs around Clarke's body and pulled her even closer while pushing her tongue deep inside the blonde's mouth who moaned at the intrusion.

"Close the door," she whispered as she interrupted the passionate kiss.

Clarke did what was asked of her and went back to the same position from before, continuing where they'd left off. She bit Lexa's lower lip, which made the brunette moan, and then she soothed it with her tongue before moving to her neck where she alternated between soft bites and wet kisses.

Lexa's hands moved from Clarke's back to her behind and grabbed it with both hands, pulling her hips closer and increasing the pressure between her legs. Clarke started moving back and forth and she could feel the heat coming from Lexa's sex, which along with the brunette's loud moans practically destroyed her own panties that were now completely soaked.

She lifted Lexa's shirt and quickly lowered the bra just enough so she could reach her nipples that were totally erect and were begging to be touched. Clarke took one of them in her mouth and teased the other one with her thumb, making Lexa lift her hips, looking for more friction between them.

"Clarke..." she moaned. "I need to feel you... please."

Clarke stopped what she was doing and moved a little on the side so she could unzip Lexa's trousers. She kissed her again as her hand was sliding under Lexa's panties, moving down her smooth mons pubis until she finally reached her folds, feeling the abundant wetness that covered her fingers.

"Fuck, Lexa..." Clarke was panting. "You're so wet... my God..."

"Can't help it when I'm around you," she said, breathing heavily as she grabbed Clarke's breast over the shirt and squeezed hard, moaning louder.

Clarke silenced her with a kiss, shoving her tongue inside her mouth as she slid one finger inside Lexa's vagina, simultaneously applying pressure on her clitoris with the base of her palm. Lexa's arched her back as her hand moved down Clarke's abdomen towards her groin and then she quickly unzipped her jeans before she slid her hand under her wet panties, feeling Clarke's soaked pussy.

"Mmmmm talking about wet..." she moved around her folds and started rubbing her clitoris, making Clarke moan against her lips.

They looked at each other right before Clarke added another finger inside Lexa's vagina.

She opened her mouth, releasing a loud sound of pleasure as she arched her back, allowing Clarke to go even deeper. Clarke started moving faster inside of her and Lexa applied more pressure on the blonde's clitoris as they were both approaching the climax of their pleasure.

The blonde could feel the walls of Lexa's vagina tighten around her fingers and then the brunette hit the right spot, rubbing her clitoris hard and after two more thrusts, Clarke moaned her release.

A whole new wave of arousal shot through Lexa's body as she heard the sound that accompanied Clarke's orgasm, and one thrust later she came as well, with her eyes shut tight and lips parted, feeling the blonde's tongue on the spot where her ear meets her neck.

Clarke fell back against Lexa, both sweaty, her face buried in her neck and after a few minutes of lying still, they finally caught their breaths. The blonde pulled away to place a kiss on Lexa's swollen lips and Lexa tangled her hand in the Clarke's hair, smiling against her lips.

"I really needed this," she said and Clarke opened her eyes to look at her.

"Raven will kill me if she finds out we did it in her car," she laughed.

"No evidence, no crime..." Lexa winked at her and smiled.

"True," Clarke agreed and moved away from Lexa, turning around to open the door behind her. "It's too hot," she added as she opened the door and slowly got out of the car.

Clarke tucked the shirt back in her jeans, zipping them and then she rolled up her sleeves and loosened the tie before grabbing her wallet and the bottle of water from the front seat.

"Here," she gave the water to Lexa, who had already adjusted her bra and zipped her trousers. "I'll be back in a second, okay?"

She nodded as she drank some water and watched Clarke approach the parking machine and put coins in it, and a minute later she was on her way back to the car after validating the parking ticket.

Lexa had already moved to the front passenger seat and gave the water back to Clarke as soon as she entered the vehicle.

"You must be thirsty too," she said and smiled at her.

"Oh... you have no idea," Clarke took a sip and smiled with a smirk on her face, moving her eyebrows suggestively, to which Lexa responded with a laughter.

The exchanged a soft kiss on the lips before starting the car and leaving the parking garage, feeling excited about their vacations together, and so far they were off to a good start.


	20. "Baby"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa enjoy their first day of vacation. This chapter also gives us an insight into their thoughts on the subject of the two of them being together as a couple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feelings, feelings, feelings!! 😍
> 
> Thank you so much for the kudos and the comments!  
Let me know what you think of this chapter 😊

The deep, rhythmic breathing, coming from the gorgeous brunette lying next to Clarke, was the most soothing sound she had ever heard. They had both fallen asleep completely naked after taking their time under the shower, giving their bodies the attention they had been desperately craving for since the last time they saw each other.

It was 7 pm and Clarke was reluctant to wake Lexa up after the 4-hour _siesta _they were having, but she knew it had to be done in order to reduce the effect of the jet lag she might be experiencing.

Lexa's head was resting peacefully on Clarke's chest, her wavy hair covering her face, her leg across Clarke's pelvis and her hand placed on the blonde's breast, which made her smile, remembering Lexa's obsession with that specific part of her anatomy. She inhaled the scent of Lexa's hair and placed a soft kiss on the top of her head. Her fingers started tracing patterns along Lexa's naked back, enjoying the softness of her skin, as well as hoping that she would feel her touch and open her eyes.

Seeing that Lexa didn't acknowledge her, which was to be expected, considering the deep sleep she was in, Clarke decided to call her name.

"Lexa..." she whispered. "Lexa..."

"Mmm..." Lexa made the cutest sound and Clarke could swear her heart skipped a beat.

"Wake up, beautiful..." she said, smiling, as she moved her fingers through Lexa's hair and removed it from her face.

"Mmm five more minutes, please..." Lexa said in a sleepy voice and pressed her body even closer to Clarke's.

Clarke smiled and enjoyed Lexa's warmth for five more minutes before trying again.

"Lexa... Wake up, _baby_..." Clarke froze as soon as the word _baby_ left her lips and was hoping that Lexa was too asleep to have heard her.

"Mmm... five more minutes," Lexa tried to negotiate and Clarke felt relieved seeing that Lexa didn't react to the little slip.

"Aren't you hungry?" she insisted.

"Nah ah..." Lexa squeezed Clarke's breast, her eyes still shut.

"But... We haven't eaten anything since we stopped for _churros_ on the way to the hotel..." Clarke was determined to get Lexa out of the bed. "I want to take you out for dinner."

"Ohhh..." Lexa finally opened her eyes and moved her hand after realizing where it had been all along. "Sorry... about that," she said quietly and turned her head up to look at Clarke.

"I didn't mind," Clarke smiled at her and placed a soft kiss on the tip of her nose. "Good afternoon."

"What time is it?" Lexa smiled back at her, looking adorable with her eyes barely open and swollen.

"A little after 7 pm," Clarke answered.

"I haven't slept this good in a very long time," she said as her fingers found Clarke's soft skin between her breasts.

"It was definitely the best _siesta_ ever," Clarke smiled.

"Do you take _siestas_ regularly, by the way? I don't think I've asked you yet..."

"Not really... Except sometimes after a 24-hour shift I sleep during the day, but usually no."

"Well..." Lexa was suddenly on top of Clarke, a smirk appearing on her face. "I could easily get used to _siestas_ with you," she said before she pressed her lips on Clarke's neck, leaving soft kisses all the way to her collar bone.

Feeling Lexa's warm body on top of hers, the touch of her lips against her skin, the softness of her breasts in between her own and her long fingers moving along her curves was something that Clarke never knew she needed, but was now finding impossible to live without.

Their bodies seemed to fit, just like a puzzle, and Clarke came to the realization she wouldn't mind staying "glued" to Lexa for the rest of their lives. The mere thought of the strong feelings she had developed for the young actress was provoking a mixture of confussion and fear in her head and she was struggling to find a logical explanation for it all.

How was it possible that she already felt like she belonged to Lexa in a way that she hadn't belonged to anyone before?

She had just met this person, not even a month ago and somehow it happened - it felt new and old, exciting and comfortable, and most importantly, it really felt like home.

Being with Lexa felt like home and Clarke was undeniably and utterly in love with her.

"Hey... where did you go?" the sound of Lexa's voice infiltrated her thoughts.

"Oh... Sorry..." she smiled at her, apologizing for being so lost in her own thoughts.

"You ok?" Lexa couldn't help but feel worried, noticing the absent look in Clarke's eyes earlier.

"Yes, yes..." Clarke cupped her face with her hands, trying to reassure her. "I'm just a bit hungry."

"I would totally say something naughty right now, but I'm actually starving," she confessed and turned her head to give Clarke a kiss on the palm of her hand. "Shall we?"

"I knew it!" Clarke laughed. "Let's go."

They got dressed quickly and Clarke was just closing her bag when she saw Lexa come out of the bathroom.

She was wearing white sleeveless crop top that she had teamed with a light pink pleated skirt that ran down to her calves, completing the outfit with red stilettos and a small yellow purse.

Lexa was amused by the expression on Clarke's face which was something between lust and complete adoration.

She smiled at her while taking a moment to scan the blonde's body in a very obvious manner, thinking she must have done something right in her past life to be so lucky in this one.

Clarke had opted for a mid-thigh length navy blue top dress with white-trimmed point col­lar and Toms crochet classic beige slip-ons. Her hair was pulled back in a casual bun, with strands of hair covering each side of her face.

"On a second thought..." she said after approaching Lexa and placing her hands on her hips. "... who needs food anyway, right?"

"Totally," Lexa smiled and wrapped her arms around Clarke's neck. "You look stunning," she said with glow in her eyes as she leaned in to place a soft kiss on Clarke's lips.

"Thank you. So do you... I think I actually drooled a little bit when you came out of the bathroom."

"Yeah, I noticed..." Lexa laughed. "I like it when you look at me like that."

"Can't help it... you..." she stopped for a second, unsure if she should say the words that were on the tip of her tongue, and then she saw Lexa's warm eyes, looking at her with so much affection and she just couldn't hold it back anymore. "You take my breath away, Lexa."

Lexa's cheeks flushed at Clarke's confession and she was at a loss for words, genuinely happy that her feelings seemed to be reciprocated, because that was exactly how she felt about her as well.

Clarke gave her a timid smile and their lips joined in another soft kiss before they left the hotel room.

The hotel they were staying in was in a neighborhood called _Mármoles_, located at a five minute walking distance from the heart of the city. They crossed the bridge and walked down the steps, known as _The Tribuna_ _de los Pobres_, at the beginning of one of the streets with the longest tradition in terms of Holy Week in Málaga.

The city center was closed for traffic, except for the ocassional vehicles with permits, for some of the residents and the police. It was very crowded and the restaurants and bars were at full capacity, which was why Clarke had made a dinner reservation in advance at an organic restaurant called _Astrid_.

As they were walking through the crowd, on their way to the restaurant, their hands accidentally touched, which made both of them blush. Lexa had actually thought about holding Clarke's hand earlier, after leaving the hotel room, but she wasn't sure if it would be appropriate, considering they hadn't had _the talk_ yet.

The accidental touch of their hands brought back the unanswered questions that had been occupying Lexa's mind more than she would like to admit.

Where was it all going?

Were they a couple?

Or was it just a summer fling?

Was Clarke having the same doubts?

Should they talk about it at the beginning of their vacation or was is better to wait til the last day?

"Here we are," Clarke's voice interrupted her thoughts when they were in front of the restaurant.

Clarke talked to the waiter to confirm their reservation and soon after that they were seated outside at a corner table, from where they had a nice view at both streets that were joining in a little square with a children's playground in the middle of it.

After checking out the menu, Clarke chose the eco-vegan legume burger with vegetables, sesame and mustard vinaigrette salad, whereas Lexa opted for a dish of hummus made from chickpeas, cumin and seasonal vegetables with homemade bread sticks.

The waiter brought the two glasses of white wine they had ordered earlier and took their food order before going inside the restaurant, leaving them alone.

"You know..." Lexa spoke as soon as he left "I thought hearing you speak French was sexy... But now that I've heard you speak Spanish, I'm sure it has an even bigger effect on my libido," she raised an eyebrow, smiling at Clarke.

"Well, in that case..." Clarke leaned slightly over the table towards Lexa. "_Cuando volvamos al hotel... hay algunas palabras sucias que me gustaría susurrar en tu oído... en español_," she said quietly, almost whispering and smiling seductively.

The combination of the raspiness of Clarke's voice and the attractiveness of the Spanish language was one of the strongest erotic stimuli Lexa had ever experienced, provoking an inmediate redestribution of the blood flow to the zone between her legs, feeling her clitoris throb and the walls of her sex tense.

"Um..." Lexa's mouth was suddenly dry, so she cleared her throat and took a sip of her wine, which made Clarke laugh. "I'm glad you find my arousal amusing," she raised an eyebrow, pretending to be offended.

"I'm sorry," Clarke was laughing softly and placed her hand on top of Lexa's over the table. "I'll make it up to you," she said and winked suggestively at Lexa, who dropped the act and smiled, intertwining their fingers.

"Yes, you will..." her smile was wide. "What did you say, anyway?"

"Oh, just that there are some Spanish words I'd like to whisper in your ear when we get back to the hotel," Clarke replied nonchalantly.

"Fuck, Clarke..." Lexa exhaled and her hips made an involuntary movement, trying to ease the contraction inside her vagina.

"What?" she smiled, completely aware of the effect her words had on Lexa. "You asked!"

They were looking at each other, huge smiles on their faces, their hands resting on the table with their fingers interlocked, until the waiter brought the food, interrupting the moment.

The food was delicous and the atmosphere very cozy, making them feel relaxed, keeping the conversation going. There was no awkward silence and they could easily go from flirting to talking about their families and other more serious topics.

"Do you like kids?" Lexa asked, after glancing at the children on the playground.

"I do... I mean, I'm not one of those people who release high pitch sounds every time they see a baby, but I definitely want to have kids," they both laughed. "What about you?"

"Yeah, me too..." Lexa replied. "I'd like to have three."

"Me too!" Clarke exclaimed and they smiled timidly at each other.

The waiter approached them with the bill they had requested earlier and Lexa took care of it after convincing Clarke to let her pay, reminding her of their agreement.

After leaving the restaurant, they took a stroll around the city center, walking past the _Carmen Tyssen Museum_ towards the _Plaza de la Constitución_ and _The Cathedral_. From there, they walked towards the _Port of Málaga_, passing _El Palmeral de las Sorpresas_, _The Centre_ _Pompidou_ and _La Farola_, until they arrived to the beach _Playa de La Malagueta._

"Oh, look, there's some event on the beach!" Lexa sounded excited.

"Actually... It's where we're going," Clarke smiled at her and took her hand. "Come this way."

Lexa took off her high heels and followed Clarke to the sandy beach, where she could now see a big white screen and people gathering in front of it, some of them already sitting in their chairs, and others on blankets and towels.

"It's an outdoor cinema!" Her eyes widened and a big smile appeared on her lips.

"Yes," Clarke couldn't help but fall even deeper in love with Lexa, seeing the expression of happiness on her face.

Clarke took a blanket out of her bag and placed it on the sand under a palm tree, a bit further behind the group of people.

"You came prepared!" Lexa teased her as they sat down on the blanket.

"Of course," Clarke smiled. "They actually do this every summer all over Málaga."

"Wow... That's so awesome! Thank you for the surprise... I love it," Lexa smiled and gave her a peck on the lips.

"My pleasure," the unexpected public display of affection made Clarke blush. "Thirsty?" she asked, taking a small champagne bottle and two plastic champagne glasses out of her bag.

"Oh wow!" Lexa was genuinely surprised. "When did you manage to prepare all this?"

"When you were in the bathroom earlier," Clarke smiled and gave Lexa the glasses while she was opening the bottle. "It's been out of the fridge since we left the hotel, though... I hope it's not too warm."

"You..." Lexa leaned in and placed a kiss on her neck. "Are..." she moved up and kissed her cheek. "Amazing..." Clarke turned her head and locked eyes with Lexa who cut the distance between them, initiating a soft, wet kiss.

The film scheduled for that evening was _Ferdinand_, an animated comedy-drama film about a bull calf of non-violent, flower-loving nature, named Ferdinand, who runs away from the ranch that trains bulls for bullfighting.

It was dubbed in Spanish, but Lexa enjoyed it anyway with Clarke translating parts of the film in her ear, in between kisses and cuddles. Clarke was sitting with her back against the palm tree and Lexa was leaning on her throughout the entire film, sitting between her legs, covered with a lightweight blanket Clarke had pulled out of her bag.

At around half past midnight they were in the elevator of the hotel, kissing passionately against the wall, and started walking fast towards their hotel room as soon as the elevator stopped at their floor.

Clarke unlocked the door and Lexa pushed her inside, her hands all over her body, grabbing and squeezing while biting her neck.

"Wait, wait..." Clarke said, breathing heavily.

"What?" Lexa moved away and looked at her a bit confused.

"It's just that... I was wondering if you'd like to go for a night swim."

"Huh?" Lexa's face was the definition of confusion. "Back to the beach? Now?"

"No," Clarke laughed out loud. "There's a pool on the roof... I thought we could check it out."

"Oh!" Lexa raised her eyebrows and smiled. "That could be fun... But are you sure it's open?"

"Yes, I asked at the reception, they said it's open 24 hours, except there's no lifeguard on duty after 8 pm, so it's a _swim at your own risk_ situation."

"Great! Let's do it!"

Lexa kissed her one more time before they put on their bikinis and took the elevator to the roof.

The roof was bigger than they'd expected, there was a big space with wooden floor and lots of empty grey tables, chairs and outside furniture on their right. There was also a small wooden bar at the end, by the wall, where they could see two employees cleaning up and getting ready to finish their shift.

The pool was on a platform, connected to the rest of the space by a staircase. As they climbed the stairs, they saw a small pool with dimmed lights illuminating the blue and white tiles, surrounded by wooden deck and about 15 deck chairs. A fence made of glass was built all around the roof, allowing the hotel guests to appreciate the magnificent view of the _Cathedral of Málaga_.

Clarke and Lexa threw their towels on one of the deck chairs and sat by the pool, with their legs in the water up to their knees.

"It's warmer than I thought it would be," Lexa commented.

"Tell that to my nipples," Clarke joked, pointing to her breasts, and Lexa could clearly see Clarke's erect nipples poking through her black and white bikini top.

"I'll make sure to warm them up later," Lexa smiled and winked at Clarke.

"Why wait?" Clarke raised an eyebrow.

"Um... You want me to... Here? Now?"

"Have you ever done it in a pool?" Clarke asked.

"Nope... You?"

"Me neither..." Clarke replied seconds before sliding down and the water covered her entire body, up to her neck. "You coming?" she turned around and smiled at Lexa.

"I will be..." she raised her eyebrow at the double meaning of her words and joined Clarke, who received her with a wet kiss.

It didn't take long before Clarke pinned Lexa against one of the pool walls in the lower depth part of the pool, engaging in a passionate battle of their tongues, the temperature rising with each new touch under the water.

The lack of oxygen forced them to separate their lips and Clarke used the interruption to start placing wet kisses and soft bites on Lexa's neck. Lexa tilted her head backwards, exposing her wet skin and she locked her fingers behind the blonde's head. Clarke grabbed Lexa's thighs, spreading her legs and letting her wrap them around her waist. The brunette moaned when she felt Clarke's hands cup her buttocks and mashed her lips against hers, plunging her tongue hungrily inside the blonde's mouth.

Their tongues met with passion, an electric and delicious sensation spreading throughout their bodies as Clarke's pelvis was pushing into Lexa's sex, each thrust more determined and curious about the heat laying within. Lexa's hand found its way to Clarke's breasts, placing her long fingers around them and teasing her nipples with her thumbs. Clarke moaned inside her mouth and moved slightly backwards, just enough to make space for her hand that slid down the brunette's abdomen, her lips still firmly placed on Lexa's.

Lexa bit Clarke's lower lip the moment she felt the blonde's fingers move under her black bikini bottom, rubbing her clit and spreading her slick wetness all around the folds of her sex.

"Oh fuck..." she whispered and dug her nails in Clarke's back.

"I love how wet your pussy is..." Clarke was panting against Lexa's lips and increasing the intensity of her movements.

"Clarke... Please..." Lexa spoke in between moans. "Let's go to the room..."

Clarke nodded and took her hand out of Lexa's bikini bottom, letting her put her feet down to the pool floor.

Couple of minutes later, after washing the chlorine off their bodies, they were in bed, Clarke on top of Lexa, completely naked and ready to devour each other.

They were in a hurry, looking to release the desire that had been increasing dangerously in the last couple of hours.

Soon enough, Clarke's head was between Lexa's thighs, tasting her sweet nectar with her tongue. Lexa pulled Clarke's hair and opened her legs a little wider to give her better access to her center of pleasure. She could feel her orgasm acumulating in her lower abdomen, but she didn't want to come yet, at least not without tasting Clarke as well.

"Clarke... Wait..." she gently stroked her hair.

"Yeah?" Clarke stopped licking her clitoris and looked up, the evidence of Lexa's wetness around her lips.

"I want... I want you on top of me..."

Clarke lifted her body and lay on top of Lexa, intertwining their legs.

"Like this?" she asked, their lips almost touching.

"Um... Actually... I want to try the 69..." she smiled timidly while biting her lower lip.

Clarke smiled back and hurried to please Lexa, positioning her sex over her face, her knees on each side of her head at the same time she was leaning over Lexa's sex.

Lexa squeezed Clarke's ass and pulled her a little lower, just enough to bury her tongue inside her pussy, satisfied with the sound of pleasure that escaped Clarke's throat.

At the same time, Clarke started sucking on Lexa's bulging clitoris and slid one finger inside her vagina, quickly followed by another one, to which Lexa responded with a loud moan, slightly arching her back.

Clarke could feel Lexa's tongue on her clitoris and her long fingers playing around her soaked entrance moments before she penetrated her rather roughly, hitting a spot that made her scream of pleasure.

They were fucking each other hard, moving deeper and harder with each thrust, a minor pain developing in the muscles of their arms, panting and moaning as they rode out their orgasms practically simultaneously.

Clarke's thighs were starting to ache and were moderately shaking as she moved her sex away from Lexa's face and turned around to lie by her side.

A few moments later, after calming their breathing, Lexa put her face in the crook of Clarke's neck.

"I sweat a lot, I'm sorry..." Clarke apologized to Lexa for the humidness of her skin.

"I find it sexy, actually..." Lexa smiled against her neck, where she deposited a gentle kiss. "Especially when you're rubbing against me and I can feel your skin warming up and becoming wet..."

"Mmm... I should do that more often, then..." Clarke said, pulling Lexa closer and kissing her forehead.

Lexa smiled and put her arm and leg on top of Clarke's body, her head resting on her chest and slowly drifted away, feeling safe in the arms of the blonde Aussie who stole her heart.


	21. Brave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa take their relationship one step further... Or maybe two 😉  
We meet Raven's mother and we learn something about Raven's past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got super inspired (your comments really help a lot, btw!!), so I'm publishing another chapter this week 🤓
> 
> Have a great weekend and thank you for reading!  
❤️

"Wow! I swear everything tastes better in Spain!" Lexa stated after taking the first bite of her toast with fresh tomato sauce and slices of avocado.

"They really do have great food," Clarke smiled and took a sip of her freshly squeezed orange juice.

They were having breakfast in one of the best vegetarian and vegan cafeterias in Málaga, _Desal café_, known for their variety of breakfast and brunch food, as well as natural juices. It was located near the famous square _Plaza de la Merced_ and as soon as they finished eating, they walked past _Alcazab_a, the palatial fortification built in the early 11th century, in the direction of the same beach where they watched the film the night before.

While they were walking through the _Paseo del Parque_, talking and laughing, Lexa decided it was time to be brave and she finally did what she had been wanting to do all along - she took Clarke's hand.

The blonde was taken by surprise, but she gladly accepted Lexa's advance and gave her a gentle squeeze, to let her know she was more than fine with it.

"How come you decided to dedicate yourself to a medical career instead of a musical one?" Lexa asked, breaking the moment of silence.

"I don't know..." Clarke shrugged. "I guess one of the reasons was because I thought I wasn't good enough to make it in the music industry."

"But you are!" Lexa exclaimed enthusiastically, making Clarke smile.

"You are biased, your opinion doesn't count," she laughed.

"Maybe a little bit," Lexa laughed as well. "But I am a percussionist and I graduated from Newtown High School of the Perfoming Arts... So I know a good artist when I see one, believe me," she winked at Clarke. "In this case, my feelings for you do not cloud my judgement."

_"Feelings? She said feelings! Should I... Fuck... Think, Clarke, think! Say something!"_

At the same time Lexa realized that she had practically told Clarke that she had feelings for her and was kind of panicking as well, especially when she saw that Clarke wasn't saying anything.

"I know what you mean," Clarke finally started speaking. "It's the same for me... I think you are an incredibly talented actress... Regardless of my feelings for you..."

They glanced at each other and smiled, relieved now that they were sure they were on the same page.

"My brother Aden is a musician as well," Lexa continued the conversation.

"Yes, I remembered you mentioning that in Paris... He's in a jazz band, right?"

"Yes," Lexa was surprised that Clarke remembered. "They're pretty good actually."

"We could listen to their music when we get to the beach," Clarke suggested.

"Sure," Lexa agreed and soon after that, they arrived at the _Playa de la Malagueta_, where they spent the next couple of hours sunbathing, swimming and enjoying each other's company.

Around 1:30 pm, the sun was high up and a little too hot, especially for Clarke's white skin, so they went to an Indian/Vegan restaurant nearby to have lunch.

By 4 pm they were back at the hotel and were taking a shower together.

Lexa was standing behind Clarke, who was leaning on the bathroom tiles with the palms of her hands, her head tilted backwards, resting on the brunette's shoulder. Her body was all soaped up, being washed by Lexa's elegant hands, paying special attention to her big, round, breasts. Lexa was kissing Clarke's neck, caressing the wet skin on her torso with her fingertips, moving slowly down her abdomen, until she finally reached the zone between her legs, feeling the heat of her soaked pussy.

Clarke moaned as Lexa's fingers made a few circular movements around her folds, applying pressure on her clitoris. The blonde grabbed Lexa's wet hair the moment she felt the brunette's fingers approaching the entrance of her vagina and a low, guttural sound escaped her throat as Lexa slid her middle finger inside of her.

Another finger was soon added, intensifying the penetration while rubbing Clarke's clitoris with the base of her palm. Lexa's other hand was placed on the blonde's breast, her fingers wrapped tightly around the warm, soft tissue, feeling Clarke's hard nipple against the palm of her hand.

Clarke's breathing was becoming faster and heavier, sounds of pleasure leaving her mouth with each thrust inside of her wet pussy, feeling the brunette's warm breath against her skin. Lexa pulled her fingers out of her and turned her around, pinning her with her back against the cold bathroom tiles. Her lips quickly found Clarke's that opened to recieve Lexa's warm tongue in a deep, passionate kiss. Clarke spread her legs to make room for Lexa's thigh, rubbing her clitoris as she grabbed the brunette's ass, pulling her closer.

Lexa's lips followed a trail south, starting at Clarke's neck, and then to her nipples, all the way to her pubic bone, kneeling on the shower floor. She lifted the blonde's leg and placed it on her shoulder before she buried her face in her wetness, sucking and licking her clitoris at the same time she penetrated her with her long fingers.

It didn't long before Clarke was pulling Lexa's hair and screaming her name as the wave of an intense orgasm ran through her entire body, a high pitch sound blocking her ears and a tingling sensation rolling down her legs all the way to her toes.

She cupped Lexa's face with her hands, pulled her up and kissed her, feeling her own taste on the brunette's lips.

A few minutes later, they continued their passionate exchange of bodily fluids in the bed, Clarke's tongue exploring Lexa's folds, enjoying the way her body responded to every stroke and swallowing the abundant wetness dripping from her soaked pussy.

She noticed that Lexa's moans were becoming louder as she was arching her back, so she removed her tongue from where it was most needed and moved away, drawing Lexa's attention who was frowning at the sudden loss of contact.

"What's wrong?" she asked, trying to calm her breathing.

Clarke looked up and smiled at her.

"Would you like to try one of my toys? You know... The ones we talked about?" Clarke asked with a smirk on her face.

"Mmm... sure. What did you have in mind?" Lexa was intrigued.

"Wait here," Clarke jumped off the bed and took a brand new box out of her suitcase.

She ripped the box apart and pulled out a flesh colored medium sized strap on dildo under Lexa's watchful eye.

"Did you just buy it?" she asked as she was observing Clarke using a sex toy cleaner spray on the dildo.

"It was a birthday gift actually... I haven't had the chance to use it yet," she explained as she was strapping it around her hips. "Have you ever tried it?"

"Nope," Lexa replied and bit her lower lip, looking lustfully at Clarke. "You look very sexy with it..."

"Yeah?" Clarke finished strapping it on and moved to the edge of the bed after grabbing a tube of lubricant from the suitcase. "Are you sure you want to do it?" she asked, making sure Lexa was fine with it. "We don't have to..."

Lexa grabbed her in the middle of the sentence, pulling her closer and pushed her tongue deep between Clarke's lips, moaning at the touch of the warm muscles, initiating the familiar dance inside their mouths.

As Clarke leaned on top of Lexa, the latter could feel the rubber object pressing on her sex and she moaned when Clarke started moving back and forth, rubbing her clitoris with the length of the dildo.

Clarke pushed herself up and sat up on her knees, between Lexa's legs. She took the tube and squeezed out a small amount of lubricant in the palm of her hand. As she was applying it on the dildo, she looked at Lexa, who was visibly aroused, her chest moving up and down as she was observing Clarke's hand move along the dildo and then to her sex, applying the remaining lubricant at the entrance of her vagina.

It's not like Lexa needed any lubrication, she was already dripping because of the extreme turned on state she was in, but Clarke wanted to make sure that it would be a completely pain-free experience for the brunette, so she was just trying to be extra careful.

"You sure?" she asked one more time as she grabbed the dildo and placed its tip on Lexa's clitoris.

"Oh yeah... Definitely," Lexa licked her lips and smiled at Clarke, ready to take it all in.

The blonde smiled back and started moving the dildo between Lexa's folds, making her moans increase in volume. When she got to the entrance of her vagina, she slowly slid the tip inside and leaned over Lexa, pushing it deeper.

"Ahhh... Fuck... Clarke..." Lexa's moans filled the room.

"Are you okay?" Clarke stopped, checking with Lexa.

"Yes... don't stop... Just... Ahh..."

Clarke pushed with her hips and she could feel the dildo slowly slide all the way in as she leaned over Lexa, her face directly above hers. Lexa's lips parted and a loud moan escaped her throat as Clarke started moving back and forth, penetrating the brunette with a slow, steady rhythm, gradually increasing the speed, perceiving the immense pleasure written all over Lexa's face.

The brunette wrapped her arms and legs around Clarke's body, grabbing her ass and pulling her even closer, making the penetration deeper.

Clarke's face was buried in the crook of Lexa's neck, the movements of her hips were fast, but firm, trying to keep the dildo inside of Lexa and still get enough friction in the process. The upper part of the strap was rubbing directly against Lexa's clitoris every time the blonde pushed inside, and she needed only a few more thrusts to reach her orgasm while screaming Clarke's name and scratching the sweaty skin on her back.

Hearing the sounds accompanying Lexa's intense climax was the cherry on top of the whole experience for Clarke. She was already so turned on that she reached down with her hand between the strap and her pubic bone and started rubbing her clitoris.

Lexa opened her eyes and looked at the blonde's face and then at her hand, feeling the dildo moving inside of her as Clarke was rubbing her clitoris. Another wave of arousal went through her body at the sight of Clarke, so she started rubbing her own clitoris as well, locking eyes with the blonde, both of them moaning louder and louder as they came simultaneously.

As she pulled the dildo out of Lexa, Clarke noticed that there was a little blood on it and couldn't help but feel worried, thinking she might have hurt her during the penetration.

"Lexa... Um..." she said, holding the dildo, kneeling between Lexa's legs.

"What? You ok?" Lexa sat up.

"Are _you_ ok? Did I hurt you?" Clarke looked at her and then back at the sex toy.

Lexa followed her eyes and saw that there were spots of blood on it.

"Not at all. I feel great," she smiled and cupped Clarke's face with her hands, finding her blue eyes filled with concern. "The blood... That's normal... I've never had anything of this size inside of me before."

"Oh... right..." Clarke was starting to relax, seeing that Lexa was perfectly fine and the explanation was logical. "So... It's like I'm your first," Clarke joked with a smirk on her face, raising her eyebrows playfully.

Lexa laughed out loud at Clarke's silliness and placed a soft kiss on her lips.

"I mean, don't get me wrong, I still think the whole concept of _virginity_ is stupid and reinforced by men to make themselves feel superior and important _deflowering_ women... But in this case, and this case only... It kind of turns me on... I know it's stupid" she blushed and tilted her head down.

Lexa smiled and lifted Clarke's chin up with her fingers, their eyes locking again, blue meeting green.

"It's not stupid... I think it was... Special," she smiled timidly. "And also very sexy," they both laughed and shared a gentle kiss before they went to the bathroom together to wash up. 

* * *

Meanwhile, in New York, Raven was entering the family penthouse on the Upper East Side, with her head down, trying to avoid her mother, who was standing in the living room with the phone pressed to her ear.

"Ray," she called her name as she was finishing the phone call. "Yes, sorry, I will go to the construction site tomorrow... My phone will be off for the rest of the day... Thank you."

Antonia Reyes was one of the most recognized names in the world of contemporary architecture and the head of the family real-estate and construction company. Even though she had inherited the family business from her father, she was actually the one who was responsable for its great success, implementing her innovative ideas in the department of self-sufficient buildings and homes.

However, working overtime to expand the company had taken its toll, leaving no time for her personal life, which is why she had Raven at the age of 36 via artificial insemination with an anonymous sperm donor.

It was 3 years later that she met Marcus Kane, a successful writer of three of the top five bestsellers in the last decade, who fell madly in love with the strong, attractive, curvy Latina. They got married and he legally adopted Raven, becoming the father figure in her life and one of her best friends. The love they had for each other was definitely an example worthy of following and Raven had always hoped that someday she would find that kind of affection as well. And there was a time she believed she had done just that, except she didn't expect it to be taken away from her so soon in the cruelest of ways.

Raven had a happy childhood, and her mother always made sure that she was present at every single one of her daughter's school meetings, recitals and soccer games, inspite of her busy schedule.

When Raven had called her to announce her unexpected arrival to New York, it set off her mother's intuition, sensing that there was something heavy on her daughter's chest. That was why she had immediately cleared her schedule for the next two weeks, remaining available only for the urgent and necessary issues of the company.

The first week she decided to give Raven the space she knew she needed to blow off some steam and to meet with some old friends from school. But that morning, seeing her daughter coming home with her head down, avoiding any eye contact, she knew that the time for the mother-daughter talk had finally come.

"Come, I made some pancakes," she said to her daughter, who was standing still in the same spot she'd been since entering the penthouse. "There's also freshly squeezed orange juice," she continued when she realized Raven was about to decline her offer.

"I'm not really hungry, mum... I need to..." she tried to avoid her.

"What you _need_ to do, Raven, is to come sit here and talk to me," she said, refusing to take _no_ for an answer.

Raven gave up and decided to join her mother at the dinning table. The moment she sat down, Antonia lifted her chin up with her fingers to take a better look at her daughter's face, noticing her puffy, teary eyes.

"Oh, Ray..." she said with love in her voice and pulled Raven in a warm, firm hug.

It seemed that was all Raven needed to start crying in her mother's arms, letting go of her pain and frustration.

"Were you at the cemetery this morning?" Antonia asked after Raven had calmed down, even though she already knew the answer.

Raven nodded and moved away from her mother's embrace to look her in the eyes.

"How did you know?" she smiled as she wiped the tears off her face.

"I am your mother, I know everything," she smiled back and cupped her daughter's cheek with her hand.

Raven closed her eyes, smiling and leaning into the palm of her mother's hand.

"Not everything," she said and winked playfully at her.

"Oh, I don't need the details, thank you very much," they both laughed, lightening up the mood. "So..." Antonia continued after a small pause. "Who is she?" she asked. "Or he? Or... They?"

"She..." Raven smiled. "Mum, I... I haven't felt like this, since..."

"Anya," her mother finished her sentence, knowing how hard it was for Raven to say her name out loud.

Raven nodded.

"That's why I finally got the courage to go to the cemetery today... I needed to tell her..." a sad smiled appeared on her face. "I know she can't hear me, and that I was basically talking to a piece of concrete, but... I don't know..."

"Did it make you feel better?" Antonia asked and Raven nodded. "Then it is the only thing that matters..." she smiled and stroked her hair. "Tell me about this girl now... Who is she? What's she like? Do I know her?"

"Whoa, whoa..." Raven laughed. "Easy now with the questions... I need to eat first."

"Alright, alright..." Antonia was happy to see her daughter was feeling better. "Let's eat then."

"Where's dad, by the way?" Raven inquired.

"He had to go to the publisher's office, but he'll be back for lunch."

After finishing breakfast, the two women were now in the living room area, sitting on the couch and talking about Raven's new love interest.

"Oh, I remember Octavia," Antonia exclaimed. "She's very pretty! I specifically remember looking at the photo you sent me of the the three of you, the one from Clarke's birthday, and thinking how exotic she looked."

"Well, that's actually when it all started..."

"Yeah? So, it's mutual, then? That's great, honey!"

"No... I mean, I don't know... I thought it was."

"You thought?" Antonia raised her eyebrow. "What did she say when you talked about it?"

"Um... We didn't... I mean, except after the first time we kissed, we kind of attributed it to the influence of the alcohol... But then, last Saturday it happened again and we were completely sober... And then I knew I was finally ready to tell her how I feel about her..."

"So? Why didn't you?"

"She was doing a 24-hour shift at the hospital the next day, so I decided to wait til Monday... And then she actually came to the gym with Ricky..."

"Who's Ricky?" Antonia interrupted her.

"Yeah... That's where it gets complicated... Um... He's a great guy, really, and he's interested in Octavia... They had been hanging out for the last couple of weeks and I thought they were dating, well, until she kissed me in the bathroom on Saturday... And then she was obviously flirting with me at the gym... So imagine my surprise when I ran after her and saw her outside the gym, kissing him..."

"Wait a second..." Antonia was confused. "I'm missing something here... Why were you running after her?"

"Oh..." Raven blushed, remembering she had forgotten to mention the incident in the locker room. "Um... Well, there's this girl that I ocasionally... Well, we sometimes... You know... In the showers..."

"Public sex, Raven? Really?" her mother rolled her eyes, shaking her head and started laughing when she saw her daughter's colored cheeks. "Alright, continue then."

"Khm..." Raven cleared her throat before speaking. "Well, what happened was that by the time I got out of the shower, I saw them talking in the locker room and Octavia looked uncomfortable... So, this girl started hitting on me and she said some things, mentioning our last... encounter...which was on Friday..."

"Oh no... Ray... I understand it all now."

"What?"

"Let me guess... Octavia left in a rush, you ran after her and saw her kiss Ricky?" Raven was about to say something, but her mother wasn't finished. "And instead of talking to her about it, you booked the first available flight to New York and fled the scene, am I right?"

Raven's eyes were wide open and her lips parted couple of times with the intention of saying something, but she was at loss for words, being reminded how well her mother knew her.

"Look..." Antonia decided to continue, seeing that Raven simply nodded, unable to speak. "I know it's scary, okay? Especially after losing your first love, and in such brutal way... I was so scared for you, Ray... I thought I had lost you, too... All that anger and sadness in your heart, I was afraid you wouldn't have any space left for love," she confessed, holding Raven's hand. "But then, a year passed and the therapy seemed to be working and I was so happy when you decided to move to Spain, to start over... even though I knew I'd miss you terribly," they smiled at each other. "My point is... You've come so far, and you've overcome so much tragedy and sadness at such young age... And now there's someone who you could actually love! Love, Ray! Don't let the fear stand in the way of your happiness... You know that Anya would tell you the same, you know how brave she was..."

"And it's what got her killed," Raven said as a tear rolled down her cheek.

"No, Raven..." Antonia wiped the tear off her daughter's face. "What got her killed was people's ignorance and the only way to fight against it is the way she did it; standing up proudly, living an authentic life and not letting fear stand in the way of who you are and how you feel... She lived a full life, Ray, and she wouldn't have done anything differently, and you know it... Sometimes you can get hurt in the process, but sometimes you take the risk and it can turn out to be the best thing you've ever done. Hiding is not truly living, Ray..."

Raven threw herself in her mother's arms, realizing how much she had missed her.

"I know it's easier to believe that Octavia likes kissing someone else than to see the real reason behind her behavior, but I think we both know what you need to do next, right?" she raised her eyebrows, looking at Raven, with her hands on her daughter's shoulders.

"I'll try..." Raven nodded.

"That's all it takes."

They hugged again and decided to go out and meet Marcus in one of their favorite restaurants to have lunch and enjoy the rest of the day as a family.


	22. Mind-blowing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More cute Clexa moments 😍 And some steamy ones as well 😉🔥

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was supposed to post this chapter yesterday, but I needed to do some editing... It's a bit longer this time.
> 
> Hope you like it! ☺️ Comments and kudos are always welcome ❤️

On Saturday, after a quick morning sex under the shower, Lexa and Clarke enjoyed their breakfast in the rooftop cafeteria before checking out of the hotel.

They were in Raven's car on their way to Granada, but had decided to make a stop in Nerja, a small touristic town on the south coast of Spain, about 50 km east of Málaga. It was known mostly for its beautiful natural beaches as well as The _Balcón de Europa_, a _mirador_ or viewpoint in the centre of the old town which gave stunning views across the sea.

In the car, they were listening to the playlist Clarke had prepared for their road trip and singing along.

"I can't believe I still remember the lyrics to all of Tegan and Sara's songs!" Lexa exclaimed, moving her body to the rhythm of the music in the passenger seat.

"You have no idea how happy that makes me feel," Clarke smiled, taking a quick glance at Lexa while driving.

Lexa smiled back at her, then grabbed Clarke's hand that was resting on her thigh and placed a soft kiss on her fingers.

"They're dropping a new album in September, you know..." Clarke commented.

"Really?" Lexa widened her eyes and slightly lowered her sunglasses to look at Clarke. "That's awesome! I really want to see them live."

"Oh, I did, they were great."

"Where? When?"

"It was about... 6 years ago, when I was still in med school in Slovenia," Clarke answered. "They came to Croatia, actually, but it was only an hour drive, so I went with some friends."

"Wow... You're so lucky!"

"It was a small concert, but the atmosphere was pretty cool... Like, 100% lesbian vibe," Clarke laughed.

"Of course," Lexa laughed as well. "Did you hook up with someone?"

"I did, actually... It was right after the craziest summer of my life, so I was in form..."

"Oh wow... Crazy how?" Lexa was curious.

"Well..." Clarke paused and smiled at Lexa, before turning her head to focus on the road ahead. "Are you sure you want to know?"

"Um... Duuuh!" she confirmed. "These are my favorite kind of stories."

"Alright, then... It was after I broke up with Nika... I had a lot of flings, especially that summer when I was done with my exams... I specifically remember this girl from Croatia that I met on Tumblr... We had been texting for a while and then one night I was at a friend's birthday party, her boyfriend had a big house in a small village outside of Maribor, so she had decided to celebrate it there... The deal was that most of us would sleep over, so we wouldn't have to drive back to the city... I was only starting my second glass of wine when the Croatian girl texted me saying she wanted to see me, and next thing I know, my friend Ana and I are in my car, in the middle of the night on our way to Croatia," she laughed, remembering the moment.

"What?? You just left the birthday party like that?" Lexa was amused.

"Yeah, but come on, I was the only gay soul there and there was this hot girl inviting me over to go to a lgbt club with her... My friend totally understood, I swear..." they both laughed and Lexa was shaking her head. "Plus, I promised I would come back."

"Of course you did," Lexa squeezed Clarke's hand, smiling.

Listening to the blonde's stories about her past made her feel closer to her, even if it was about other women. It didn't feel weird at all, on the contrary, she enjoyed every detail that she was willing to share with her. Whatever had happened in the past, it somehow brought Clarke to her, one way or another, and more importantly, she was more interested in keeping her not only in her present, but in her future as well.

"So, anyway..." Clarke continued. "We got there and met up with the Croatian girl and her friend, went to a gay club and when it closed, we still didn't feel like calling the night, so we had this crazy idea that the four of us should go back to Slovenia... At 5 o'clock in the morning! And I was sober!"

"I think your motivation was stronger than alcohol," Lexa said and then continued before Clarke was able to reply. "You would've done anything to get laid that night," she laughed.

"I won't deny it," Clarke replied, laughing. "So... We crossed the border and by the time we got to Maribor, there wasn't a single club or even a bar still open... No public transport to Croatia either, considering it was Sunday morning... And I didn't feel like driving, so I suggested we all go to my friend's boyfriend's house and just get some sleep before I take them back."

"Sleep, of course..." Lexa teased her, which made Clarke laugh. "Go on."

"I called my friend to ask if it was alright to do that, she agreed, so we went there and... Well... One thing lead to another and we were making out in the living room, but couldn't do more than that there, because our friends were passed out on the couch... So I suggested that we go to the only place I knew we could be alone... To the garage."

"Nooo, really?" Lexa's mouth was wide open. "But... Where would you...?"

"It was a very big garage, actually, connected to the back yard and there were no cars in it," Clarke explained. "Only a big, long wooden table and a lot of chairs around it, because it was where the party was earlier."

"Oh, ok... That makes sense," she smiled at Clarke. "So... Did you do it there?"

"Yes... I found some cushions and blankets, so I put them on the floor... We started doing it... And then..." Clarke stopped for a moment, feeling a little embarrassed about the next part, not really sure if she should continue.

"What? Tell me!" Lexa saw that Clarke was hesitating, so she encouraged her to continue. "Oh, come on... It's the best part!"

"Alright..." Clarke agreed to continue with the story. "Well, it's just that... Don't ask me why, but... I had a strap-on... In the trunk of my car... And I asked her if she was into it... She said yes, so I grabbed it from my car and we started doing it... All of the sudden, I hear the door open and she didn't even realize... And there we are, naked... in the middle of it, and I'm all sweaty..."

"Oh my God!! Are you serious??" Lexa laughed out loud. "What a sight!!" she continued laughing. "Who was it?"

"My friend's boyfriend," Clarke blushed and started laughing as well. "Thank God we were kind of hidden behind a concrete column and a big wine rack, so he didn't actually see anything... But I had to shout to let him know we were there, because if he would've made two more steps, he would've seen everything..."

They were laughing out loud, enjoying the moment with their fingers interlocked, hands resting on Lexa's lap.

"So, you were a player, ha?" she teased Clarke.

"Naaah..." Clarke smiled timidly and glanced at Lexa, who was looking at her with her eyebrow raised over her sunglasses. "Alright, maybe a little bit," she laughed.

"You see, that's one of the things I think that I kind of missed out on by moving to the States to become an actress... You know, doing stuff spontaneously, without thinking about the consequences... Not worrying if someone's going to recognize me," Lexa said with a subtle smile on her face. "But on the other hand, I don't think I would've been good at it, anyway... I don't really have _game__,_" she laughed.

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about that," Clarke disagreed. "I can assure you that there isn't a gay, pan- and bisexual, or even bi-curious woman in the world that wouldn't want to be with you, believe me..." she smiled gently at Lexa.

"You're biased, because you know how good I am in bed," she stuck out her tongue playfully at Clarke, making her laugh.

"True, true..." Clarke played along. "But I'm sure there are like at least a million people around the world that would literally kill to be in my place right now."

"As far as I'm concerned..." Lexa slowly leaned over to Clarke's side as much as the seat belt permitted her. "There can be millions or even billions of them..." Clarke turned her head to face Lexa. "And I would still choose you."

They were both wearing sunglasses, which was probably why Lexa was so courageous with her statement, otherwise she would've been too shy to look at Clarke after a confession like that. Plus, Clarke had to keep her eyes on the road, but even so, there was absolutely no awkwardness in the moment they had just shared.

After exchanging a timid smile, Clarke pulled Lexa's hand towards her face and pressed her lips on the back of her hand.

"You have no idea how happy I am that you're actually here and that I'm able to do this as much as I want," she placed a few more kisses on Lexa's hand. "There's no one else in the entire world I'd rather be with."

Lexa leaned back on her seat and sighed contently, feeling grateful for every moment she got to enjoy next to Clarke, afraid she might wake up any second, because being with her felt like a dream.

The doubts they were having about the status of their relationship suddenly disappeared; even if they hadn't said the exact words, it was more than obvious that they were very much in love and only wanted to be with each other.

Soon after that they arrived at their destination and went directly to the beach, where they spent the next few hours enjoying the hot weather and the refreshing water.

Later they had lunch in a vegan restaurant in the centre of the old town and after taking a few selfies at _The Balcón_ _de_ _Europa_, they drove for an hour before arriving at the _Aire Hotel & Ancient Baths_ in Granada.

Clarke had reserved the Junior suite with views to the _Alhambra_ and breakfast in the room included. The first thing they noticed when they entered the suite was an antique looking beige closet on their right. Behind it, they could see a big mirror and a white porcelain sink, surrounded by a wooden countertop. On each side of it there was a mirror door, behind one of them they found the toilet and behind the other one, the shower.

The whole suite was a big, open space with two flights of stairs, one of them leading up to a chill area with big grey couch and two white coffee tables, whereas the other one lead down to the bedroom area, where they could see a huge king size bed and two beige armchairs. Some of the walls were made of stones, which gave the suite a rustic charm with a touch of a modern design.

"Wow, Clarke... This is amazing!" Lexa expressed her enthusiasm and wrapped her arms around Clarke's neck. "Thank you."

Their lips joined in a soft kiss as their bodies melted in a firm hug.

"I'm glad you like it..." Clarke said as soon as they moved their lips apart to fill their lungs with air, her blue eyes expressing the love she had for Lexa.

After a quick shower, Clarke was in bed, wearing nothing but a big, white towel, waiting for Lexa to join her.

"I wanted to give you this tomorrow in your apartment, but... I can't wait anymore..." Lexa said as she took a rectangular box out of her suitcase. "I hope you like it," she then gave the box to Clarke and sat on the bed next to her.

"Lexa..." Clarke was taken by surprise.

"Open it!" Lexa was impatient to see if Clarke would like the present.

Clarke carefully removed the wrapping paper and folded it, as she always did after opening presents from people who really mattered to her. It didn't go unnoticed by Lexa who smiled at Clarke's actions, finding it incredibly adorable.

It was a brown box, and as she opened it, she saw two more boxes inside. She reached for the smaller one first, taking out what seemed to be some kind of a digital voice recorder.

"It's travel-size and I thought you could maybe carry it in your bag... It might come in handy when you get a sudden inspiration for a song... You could just record it directly," Lexa explained excitedly. "Also, the tech guy said that the quality of the sound is very good and after you record it, you just plug it in your computer through the built-in usb connector and that's it."

"Wow, Lexa, I... This is so thoughtful of you... I love it! Thank you so much!" Clarke couldn't believe how much thought Lexa had put into picking the right present for her.

"Wait, there's more," Lexa smiled before she continued. "When you plug it in, you'll see that there's a folder, containing a program called _Ableton Live 10_ that you can install into your computer and use it to produce music... Aaaand, the guy said that if you want the sound to be studio quality, you can use the recorder as an amplifier and plug a microphone or an instrument in it."

"Abletone Live 10? My God, Lexa, that program costs like 350€ at least..." Clarke was shocked. "You shouldn't have spent so much mo..."

"Shhh..." Lexa didn't let her finish. "Please, Clarke... It doesn't matter how much it cost... I just wanted to get you something nice. Plus, you know I can afford it, being Heda and all that," she made a funny face and winked at Clarke, making her laugh. "And also, look who's talking! You've been spoiling me ever since I got down from the plane!"

"That's different..." Clarke tried to prove her point, but quickly gave up when she saw Lexa's raised eyebrow and slightly tilted head, giving her 'the commander look'.

She laughed and proceeded to open the bigger box.

"Holy shit... This is a _Neumann_ microphone... Lexa, I can't accept this, it's..."

"You can and you will! I didn't memorize all the characteristics of the product for nothing," she smiled at Clarke. "Here we go..." she said and took a deep breath before speaking. "This is a _Neumann TLM 103 Studio Set_ and due to the minimal inherent-noise it's ideally suited for quiet instruments, sound recording or sampling, home recording, as well as using it as a spot microphone and for reducing the sound in wind instruments, strings, percussion, guitar amps, drums, etc..." she exhaled, smiling at Clarke who was still in a state of shock.

"Lex... It's... Wow..." Clarke finally managed to speak. "And I can't believe you memorized all that technical stuff."

"It's just like memorizing my lines of the script," she shrugged. "It's basically what I do for a living."

They both laughed and then Clarke packed everything inside of the box and sat closer to Lexa, holding her hands.

"Thank you so much, Lexa... I love it!" she leaned in to place a kiss on her soft lips. "It's the second best gift I've ever gotten," she smiled when she saw Lexa's disappointed face.

"Oh..." Lexa slightly tilted her head down.

Clarke lifted her chin up with her fingers and looked her in the eyes, smiling.

"The best one is the ticket to the convention in Paris," she said and saw Lexa's lips curl into a smile. "That one will always be my favorite, because it brought YOU into my life... And Lexa, I..." they stared at each other, knowing exactly what the both of them wanted to say. "I've never been happier," Clarke decided to go with another truth, and she really meant every word of it.

Lexa knew that Clarke was the type of person who preferred actions to words, and in one of their video calls she had mentioned that she never liked rushing into saying the big words in a relationship, because she wanted to be completely sure she felt it before saying it. So if Clarke said something, expressing her feelings, you could be 100% sure she meant it.

That was why learning that _she_ was the reason for Clarke's happiness was better than any love confession she had ever received before. The sincere, almost vulnerable look in Clarke's eyes and the softness of her voice was all the proof she needed, feeling her heart ready to explode.

A single tear of joy slid down her cheek as she cut the distance between them. Her bottom lip was shaking, feeling Clarke's warm breath right before their lips met in a kiss that started out soft, transforming into a more passionate one as they unwrapped the towels and let their naked bodies melt into one.

They made love, surrendering themselves with absolute trust, the adoration they felt for each other increasing with each touch and each thrust, losing themselves in the loud sounds of pleasure, only to find the ultimate truth every time blue met green in the deepest of connections.

The sweet exhaustion was the perfect excuse for yet another _siesta_, which they had discovered they loved taking together.

At 8 pm they took the elevator down to the thermal baths, because Clarke has reserved an hour and a half of relaxation time for them, consisting of a circuit through the thermal baths at different temperatures and a thirty minutes full body massage.

The whole space had a sofisticated, antique look with brick walls and candle light and there were six types of thermal baths. They started the circuit with the 16 ºC cold bath called _Frigidariu_m, continuing to the _Caldarium _(40ºC hot bath) and the _Tepidarium _(36 ºC warm bath), moving on to the _Balneum _(bath of thousand jets) and the _Laconicum _(steam bath with aromatherapy), finishing the circuit in the _Florarium _(salt water bath).

In between the baths, they rested on warm marble stone seats in the relaxation area and enjoyed the special selection of tea.

The last half an hour of their unique experience was reserved for the full body massage, so they were both called into a room, illuminated only with candles, where there were two women in black masseuse uniforms standing by the massage tables. They proceeded to give them a full body massage, using botanical Elixir Oil on their back, arms, legs and feet.

After the one and a half hour of complete body and mind relaxation, they decided to prolong their mood by enjoying some wine and tapas in one of the bars in the centre of Granada, close to the _Cathedral of the Incarnation_.

It was a perfect day that ended with a sense of a belonging, falling asleep in each other's arms.

The next day started with breakfast in bed and after that, they spent the morning at the Arab citadel and palace called _Alhambra_, admiring the preserved architecture of the most renowned building of the Islamic historical legacy.

In the afternoon they finally arrived to Marbella after a two-hour drive. After giving Lexa a tour of the apartment, Clarke went to the kitchen to open a bottle of wine, while Lexa was changing in the bedroom.

After a while, seeing that Lexa still hadn't joined her in the living room, Clarke decided to check up on her.

"Lexa..." she called out her name from the hallway, on the way to the bedroom. "Are you o..."

The words got stuck in her throat the moment she opened the door and saw Lexa, lying on the bed, wearing a set of a very revealing black lace bra and a thong, in combination with two sets of black leather belts; one of them connecting the two parts of the same material wrapped around her neck and around her waist, and the other one imitating a garter belt, going above and around her hips and thighs.

"I was trying to take a selfie and send it to you... Do you like it?" Lexa asked. "Oh, it's synthetic leather, don't worry..." she explained and smiled at Clarke who was still standing by the door, drooling at the sight in front of her.

"I..." Clarke was unable to speak, feeling the dryness in her mouth and the throbbing in her clitoris.

"I'll take that as a yes, then..." Lexa said softly, with a smirk on her face. "Why don't you come over here..." she suggested as she sat up on her knees and flipped her hair, spreading her legs apart. "And... bring your toys with you," she smiled playfully, biting her lip.

Clarke was struggling to asimilate the reality of the situation and was unable to even think straight, considering that most of her blood had left her brain and was now concentrated in the lower part of her body. Lexa was satisfied with the result of her seduction skills, smiling as she was observing Clarke take the sex toys out of the suitcase and lay them on the bed.

Lexa could see Hercules and the yet to be named strap-on dildo, as well as the tube of lubricant next to a smaller, beaded dildo, made of silicone, which she assumed was to be used for anal stimulation. There was also a pair of metal handcuffs, a black blindfold and a toy cleaner spray along with a small towel.

After taking a good look at everything, with a naughty smile on her face, she glanced at Clarke who was standing by the bed, and she could see her chest moving fast, despite her best effort to calm her breathing. Seeing Clarke in that state of arousal, with her dilated pupils focused on her as she was licking her lips, provoked a tingling inside her already wet pussy. She moved her hand south, reaching the string of her thong and started playing with it with her fingers.

"Would you like to touch me, Clarke?" she tempted her, biting her lip.

Clarke just nodded, trying her best to control her need to pin Lexa down to the bed.

"Take off your clothes for me... I want to watch..." Lexa leaned back on one hand and started rubbing her clitoris gently with her fingers over the lace material.

Clarke's eyes followed her movements as she started pulling her short pants down her legs, revealing her grey Calvins with white elastic waistband. She then took off her t-shirt, making it possible for Lexa to appreciate her big, round breasts and her hard nipples poking through the grey CK sports bralette.

"You're so hot, _baby_..." Lexa wasn't even aware that she had just called Clarke _baby_ for the first time, as she was too focused on the circular movements of her fingers around her bulging clitoris. "Take off your bra and leave the Calvins on... I want to see how wet you'll get by the time you're done fucking me."

Lexa's words provoked a contraction inside Clarke's vagina, making her unable to contain the moan that escaped her throat. She quickly took off her bra and decided to take over, grabbing Lexa's thighs, making her fall on her back as she pulled her closer, until her behind was on the edge of the bed.

She laughed at Clarke's impatience, as the latter knelt on the floor, spread Lexa's legs and attacked her wetness with her tongue after moving the lace aside to get a better access. Lexa released a loud moan when she felt the blonde's warm muscle exploring her folds, beginning at her very sensitive clitoris all the way down to the entrance of her vagina, sliding it in, with her hands placed firmly on her hips and her face buried between her thighs.

Clarke moved back up and started sucking Lexa's clitoris, to which she responded by grabbing her blonde hair and pulling her closer, screaming her name as an unexpected and short, but intense orgasm spread through her body like electricity.

Lexa released the grip as Clarke moved away from her and when she opened her eyes, she saw the blonde standing by the bed, straping the dildo around her hips. She looked at her with lust, giving her permission to do whatever she wanted with her body and then she turned around, face down on the bed. Clarke's eyes scanned her from head to toes and she leaned over, moving her hands north, starting at the back of Lexa's calves all the way to her buttocks, enjoying her moans as she was grabbing her warm flesh.

She started leaving wet kisses all over Lexa's back all the way to the side of her neck, where she left a few soft bites after she moved her hair away to get a better access to the sensitive zone.

Lexa could feel the dildo rubbing against her ass as Clarke was moving on top of her, feeling her warm breath in her ear and her strong grip around her wrists, pinning her down to the bed.

The contact was suddenly lost when Clarke moved away and pulled Lexa by the leather belt around her waist, making her lift her behind and flex her knees.

Lexa's breathing was becoming heavier and she moaned when she felt Clarke penetrating her with her tongue from behind.

Her hips moved involuntarily towards the intrusion, seeking more contact, which was when Clarke stood up by the bed and reached for the piece of leather again, adjusting the height difference between them by pulling her a bit lower. She grabbed the dildo and rubbed it against Lexa's clitoris a few times before positioning it at the entrance of her vagina.

Lexa moaned when she felt the tip of the dildo entering her pussy from behind, leaning on her elbows and knees, looking at Clarke over her shoulder. Clarke started moving slowly inside of her, penetrating her deeper with each gentle thrust, without losing the eye contact.

Once she was completely inside, she grabbed Lexa's hips as the latter arched her back and tilted her head backwards, allowing Clarke to set the pace.

"Ohhhh... Fuuuuck, Clarke... Yeeees..."

Clarke was increasing the speed of her movements as Lexa's moans were becoming louder, enjoying the sweet sound their bodies made with each new thrust.

Lexa clenched her fists around the bed sheets, releasing sounds of pleasure she was not even aware of being able to produce as Clarke was fucking her fast and hard, feeling her warm and sweaty skin against hers.

"Clarke... I'm... gonna..." she managed to say.

Clarke continued with the same pace as she leaned slightly to the side to grab Hercules. Lexa heard the sound of vibration seconds before she felt it on her clitoris. The blonde slowed down her movements and pressed the vibrator harder as she placed her thumb between Lexa's vagina and anus, slowly moving it higher and giving her anal stimulation with the tip of her thumb moments before Lexa's body started shaking hard, screaming Clarke's name.

The post-orgasmic involuntary movements of Lexa's body lasted longer than she had expected, so Clarke remained completely still after leaving Hercules on the bed, waiting for her girl to let her know when she was ready to break the contact.

Their breathing was slowly calming down, Lexa's head still buried in the sheets and Clarke holding her by the hips. She grabbed the dildo and moved it slightly outwards, so the brunette moved her hips forward, making it easier for Clarke to take it out of her vagina.

As Lexa fell down on the bed, Clarke untied the strap-on and cleaned it with the spray and the towel, before joining the brunette.

"You okay?" she stroked Lexa's warm, flushed cheek, as the latter turned on to her side to face her.

"This was... mind-blowing," she smiled at her, leaning to press a gentle kiss on her lips.

She then moved her body on top of Clarke, sitting on her thighs and started sucking on her nipples. Clarke's arousal was on its highest level by the time Lexa's face was between her thighs, absorbing her wetness over the completely soaked, now dark grey underwear.

"Mmm you taste so good, _baby_..." she said as she proceeded to take her Calvins off.

Clarke lifted her hips, facilitating the removal of the last piece of clothing from her body.

"God, I love it when you get so wet for me..."

Seeing the lust in Lexa's eyes followed by a few strokes of her tongue against her wetness was all Clarke needed to reach her climax, completely surprising the brunette.

"Did you just...?" she looked up at her.

"I'm sorry... I couldn't help it..." Clarke covered her face for a moment, feeling a bit embarrassed, but still very aroused.

"Ohhh..." she couldn't help but feel slightly disappointed, needing more of Clarke.

The blonde then surprised Lexa by cupping her own breasts and she started squeezing them under her watchful eye.

"I'm so turned on, _baby_..." she said and noticed that Lexa was biting her lip hard. "I need to come again, please..."

The green in Lexa's eyes was completely overshadowed by her dilated pupils as she reached to the corner of the bed and grabbed the strap-on.

"I want to try it... Would you let me...?" she was unsure if Clarke liked being fucked like that, as they had never discussed it before.

"Lexa... You can do whatever you want to me... I'm all yours..." she said, her voice sounding even raspier.

Lexa put it on around her hips eagerly after taking off the leather belts and the sexy lingerie and once she was ready, she positioned herself with her knees between Clarke's thighs, who was patiently waiting for her. She copied what Clarke had done to her earlier and rubbed her clitoris with the tip of the dildo, making the blonde moan louder. She was so wet that Lexa didn't even bother to take the lube, she just pressed the tip of the dildo against the source of Clarke's wetness and slowly pushed it in.

Clarke opened her legs wider, inviting Lexa to lean over at the same time she was pushing deeper inside of her.

Once she was on top of her, she started moving back and forth at a slow pace as she silenced Clarke's loud moans by invading her mouth with her tongue. Clarke wrapped her legs around Lexa and grabbed her ass, pulling her closer and intensifying the pressure on her clitoris.

Lexa increased the speed of the movements of her hips, in and out, sweating on top of Clarke, panting and moaning, feeling the blonde's nails on her back.

"Ohhhh fuuuuuck... I'm... I'm coming... Keep it in, _baby_... fuuuuuck..."

Clarke's hips went up and down underneath Lexa, who had stopped moving, keeping the dildo deep inside the blonde, letting her chase the electric orgasm all the way to the post-orgasmic tremor.

After their breathing had calmed down, Lexa slowly moved away from Clarke and pulled the dildo out of her before taking it off and leaving it on the bed. She then lay on her side, next to Clarke and wrapped her arm and leg around her, burying her face in the crook of her neck.

"Siesta?" Lexa whispered against her skin.

"Siesta," Clarke nodded, smiling at her and pressing her lips against Lexa's forehead before they closed their eyes and fell asleep in each other's warm embrace.


	23. A keeper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Octaven is back! 
> 
> Clexa's motorcycle roadtrip and more cute moments between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everyone! Here's the new chapter to wish you all a great weekend! Hope you enjoy it, and as always, kudos and comments are more than welcome.
> 
> S.

The lovers' siesta was interrupted by the sound of the doorbell, startling Clarke who was the first to wake up. Feeling the warmth of Lexa's body against her back, the calm, rhythmic breathing on the skin of her neck and the brunette's arm resting around her waist made leaving their love nest an extremely difficult task for Clarke. The moment she tried to move away from her, Lexa pulled her closer and made her mission impossible.

"Mmmmm... don't go..." she said in a sleepy voice.

"I have to, _love_..." Clarke could feel her heart melt when Lexa held her even tighter, inhaling the scent of her messy, blonde hair.

"But... It feels so nice, _baby_... stay..." Lexa tried to negotiate, leaving kisses on the back of Clarke's neck.

"I know... I love being your little spoon..." she closed her eyes, enjoying the touch of the brunette's lips on her skin. "But..."

The doorbell rang again, making Lexa jump at the sound.

"Is that the bell?" she asked.

"Yes, sleepyhead..." Clarke laughed. "It's probably Octavia."

"Shit, is it 8 pm already?" Lexa finally moved away from Clarke and lay back, letting her get out of the bed. "It's still so bright, though..." she covered her eyes with the palm of her hand.

Clarke smiled as she walked towards the closet, where she took out a new pair of underwear and grabbed her clothes from the floor before putting them on. She leaned with her knee on the bed to give Lexa a quick peck on the lips and moved in the direction of the door.

"Take your time... I'll go open and we'll have some drinks on the balcony, okay? Join us when you're ready," she said as she was leaving the room.

"Okay, I'll be there soon," Lexa said in the moment the doorbell rang for the third time.

Clarke answered the intercom and buzzed Octavia in before unlocking the door and going to the kitchen to prepare some snacks.

"Hello? Clarke?" Octavia called her name a minute later as she walked into the hallway and closed the door behind her.

"In the kitchen!"

"Hey!" Octavia greeted her with a kiss on each cheek as she walked into the kitchen. "Did I interrupt something...?" she smiled and left a six-pack of cold beers on the worktop.

"Oh, no... we fell asleep, actually..." Clarke replied as she was taking some mozzarella sticks out of the bag and laid them in the oven tray.

"Right... Well, you must be tired, considering you've been probably hopping each other like horny bunnies since Thursday," Octavia laughed when she noticed Clarke's flushed cheeks.

"It's been... intense..." she smiled timidly at her friend as she put the tray in the oven. "Shall we?"

Clarke took the bowls with potato chips and guacamole dip, as well as olives, suggesting to Octavia to follow her on her way out of the kitchen. Octavia took three beers out of the six-pack and put the rest of it in the fridge before joining Clarke on the balcony.

"I see there are two full glasses of wine on the coffee table," she observed. "You don't want beer, then?"

"Oh... I totally forgot..." Clarke remembered she had served some wine before she found Lexa in her sexy ligerie in the bedroom. "No, no... that's from earlier today, it's probably warm now," she explained as Octavia joined her on the balcony. "I'll have a beer, thanks... And we'll see what Lexa's in the mood for, there's some wine in the fridge as well."

"I have no idea what you said, but I know I heard my name," they both turned around and saw Lexa in the living room, walking towards them with a smile on her face. "I also heard _cerveza_!"

She approached Octavia who had stood up to greet the actress.

"You must be Octavia," Lexa said and leaned towards her, pressing her lips on each cheek, trying to embrace the Spanish customs. "I hope I did that right..." she said and looked at Clarke who was smiling at her.

"Almost... People usually just touch their right cheeks together and make a kissing sound, then repeat the process on the left side... without actually kissing," Clarke explained and smiled at Lexa, who was blushing.

"Oh, shit... Sorry..." she looked at Octavia who still hadn't assimilated the fact that Lexa Woods had just kissed her on the cheeks.

"I didn't mind at all," she finally spoke and smiled at the actress. "Coming from you, I actually prefer it this way," Octavia said and winked at her, smiling.

"Hey!" Clarke protested. "Back off, missy!" she joked, pretending to be jealous.

"Possessive much?" Octavia stuck her tongue out at Clarke and the blonde did the same, making Lexa laugh out loud.

"I'm really glad you speak English," she said to Octavia as she sat next to Clarke and squeezed her thigh gently under the table. "And you do it fluently!"

"I had the advantage that my aunt lives in London, so I spent almost every summer there growing up," Octavia explained and handed her the bottle. "Beer?"

"Thank you," Lexa said and took a sip before continuing the conversation. "That explains it... Because from what I've heard, not a lot of Spanish people speak English."

"True... we especially struggle with the pronunciation," Octavia added.

"Oh, well... that one goes both ways, because when I try to speak in Spanish, my accent is just terrible," Lexa laughed and took another sip of her beer. "I mean, you heard how I pronounced _cerveza._"

"You did it perfectly," Clarke smiled at Lexa and gave her a peck on the cheek.

"Awwww..." Octavia was touched by the fondness she had just witnessed, to which the lovers responded with timid smiles on their faces. "So... Lexa, how do you like Spain so far?"

"I love it!" Lexa was quick to answer. "It's amazing, really... the weather is great, the food is delicious, and the company..." she said as she turned her head and locked eyes with Clarke. "Perfect."

"You guys are so sweet, my glucose levels must be off the charts right now," Octavia teased them, seeing the love in their eyes.

"I have to go to the kitchen," Clarke excused herself and went inside, leaving the two women alone on the balcony.

"So..." Octavia decided to continue the conversation. "What are your plans for tomorrow?"

"Um... I don't know, really..." Lexa replied. "I think Clarke is going to show me around Marbella... and we'll probably chill on the beach... you should join us!"

"Thanks, I'd love to... but I'm doing a 24-hour shift tomorrow..." Octavia explained. "What about Tuesday?"

"Tuesday is actually the first day of our motorcycle road trip..."

"Oh, right, right... I forgot," Octavia remembered. "When are you coming back then?"

"On Friday evening..." Lexa answered. "Are you free Saturday? Because I think Clarke mentioned something about going to a gay bar on Saturday evening?"

"Yeah, definitely! She probably wants to take you to Fenix... we go there a lot."

"That's right," Clarke joined the conversation and laid a plate with mozzarella sticks on the table.

"Oh my God... are those what I think they are?" Lexa exclaimed excitedly.

"I remember you saying how much you loved mozzarella sticks, so... I found vegan ones, so you don't have to feel guilty when you eat them," Clarke smiled at her. "The woman at the store said they taste exactly the same."

"Wow!" Lexa's lips curved in a big smile. "I can't believe you remembered."

"There's no way you found these in Marbella!" Octavia said.

"I went to a vegan shop in Málaga, actually..." Clarke confirmed Octavia's suspicions.

"You did that for me?" Lexa was touched by the blonde's gesture. "Thank you so much!" she stood up and wrapped her arms around Clarke's neck before kissing her on the lips.

"It was no trouble at all," Clarke kissed her back. "Go on, try them!"

They sat back down and enjoyed the snacks and the drinks.

"Clarke, Lexa said we're going to Fenix on Saturday night?" Octavia inquired and Clarke nodded while chewing the food. "Lexa, aren't you afraid someone's going to recognize you there? I mean... you're not officially _out_, are you?" she asked and noticed how Clarke's body became tense waiting for Lexa's answer.

"Well... No, I'm not _out_... I mean, I came out to my friends and family long time ago, but not to the public..." Lexa explained.

"Shit, Lex... I'm so sorry, I didn't think about that at all... We don't have to go," Clarke felt terrible that she had forgotten that Lexa was a public person and maybe going to a gay club was not the best idea with her still being in the closet.

"Oh, no no, not at all!" Lexa smiled. "I'm actually looking forward to it... I haven't gone out in ages... And look, no one has recognized me so far..."

"Yes, but 'The Last Commander' is well known in the LGBTQ community... It can be risky," Clarke insisted.

"Clarke..." Lexa placed her hand on top of Clarke's. "I don't care, really... Can we just go out and have fun? Please?"

"I just don't want to get you in trouble..."

"You could never... I promise..." Lexa kissed the back of Clarke's hand. "These are amazing, by the way! I love them!" she said as she put a mozzarella stick in her mouth.

They smiled at each other and enjoyed the rest of the evening until Octavia had to leave.

The next day, Clarke and Lexa spent the morning at the beach, and after that they went to the open market to get the ingredients for the lunch they had decided to cook together.

In the afternoon, Lexa was in the living room, texting Maia, when Clarke came out of Raven's bedroom carrying a huge box, wrapped as a present and placed it on the coffee table.

"Oh my God!" Lexa was taken by surprise. "Clarke... What...?"

"Open it!" Clarke was excited to see Lexa's reaction.

Lexa started unwrapping the present with a big smile on her face. Her eyes widened when she took out a matte black full face motorcycle helmet and looked at Clarke, who was now sitting next to her on the couch.

"Wow, Clarke... This is the coolest helmet I've ever seen," she said as she put her eyes back on it, turning it around in her hands.

"Yeah? You like it?" Clarke was thrilled to see Lexa's enthusiasm.

"Like it?" Lexa laughed. "I love it! It's so elegant... It's exactly what I would've picked if I ever needed to buy a helmet."

"Try it on!" Clarke said excitedly.

Lexa put on the helmet and Clarke adjusted it, pulling down the shield.

"How does it feel? Is it tight enough?"

"Yes... I think..." Lexa smiled.

"It shouldn't be loose, but not too tight either, so you should be able to wear a balaclava underneath if necessary..."

"Like a ski mask?"

"Yes."

"It fits perfectly, _baby_... Thank you so much!"

Lexa took it off with Clarke's help and gave her a gentle kiss on the lips. She then proceeded to take out the rest of the items from the box, which were a black, waterproof motorcycle jacket with integrated armour and detachable thermolite liner and black, casual looking aramid fibre jeans with knee protection.

"These are perfect for summer rides, you won't be too hot and you'll be protected from the wind," Clarke explained. "If you don't like them, we can exchange them tomorrow morning."

"How could I not like them? They're perfect!" Lexa said enthusiastically. "Just like you..."

"I'm really not..." Clarke said, but was interrupted by Lexa throwing herself in her arms, inhaling the scent of her skin.

A short make out session later, Lexa tried on the clothing and after they made sure it fitted her, Clarke put everything in the washing machine. Half an hour later she laid the wet clothes on the drying rack on the balcony and they started to get ready to have drinks and dinner in the old town.

The next day, they woke up early and they were outside, standing next to the motorcycle while Clarke was attaching the side cases on the luggage set frame. Once she was done, she put their small backpacks inside the cases and turned around to look at Lexa, who was fully dressed in her motorcycle gear.

"You look so hot, _baby..."_ Clarke approached her and wrapped her arms around her waist.

"You're not so bad yourself," Lexa teased her. "Anything I should know before we get going?"

"Just a few basic rules... You can hold on to these handles over here," Clarke showed at the rear side of the motorcycle. "Or you can hold on to me, if you'd like."

"I think I'll just hold on to you... I'll feel safer that way," Lexa winked at her.

Clarke smiled, feeling thankful to see the trust Lexa had in her, even though she hadn't been on a motorcycle road trip before and couldn't help but compare her with Eva, who never wanted to take a ride with her.

She quickly shook those thoughts off and continued with the instructions.

"Good... The most important thing is that you don't make any sudden movements that could make me lose the balance... Especially on the curves of the road... I'll go easy and slow in the beginning to allow you to get used to the feeling... And if at any point you want me to stop, just tug at my jacket three times in a row and I'll pull off at the first stop we see... Sounds good?"

"All clear," Lexa said, eager to get on the bike.

"Alright... Put on your gloves, then, and we're ready to go," Clarke made sure the luggage is secure and got on the bike, waiting for Lexa to join her.

Their first stop was 60km away and they took the A397 road, whose layout was very curvy and steep, offering views of a large mountainous landscape. It was widely used by motorists and Clarke was being very careful because, even though she didn't go very fast, the area was known for cattle often crossing the road, so she rarely went over 70 km/h.

Halfway there, they stopped to enjoy the view from one of the highest points and also because Clarke wanted to make sure Lexa was alright. She was very pleased to see that the brunette was very excited and not at all uncomfortable with the ride, so after exchanging a few kisses and taking some photos, they continued their road trip.

Soon after that, they arrived to Ronda, a small village known mostly for the Three bridges: Puente romano ('Roman Bridge', also known as the _Puente San Miguel_), Puente viejo ('Old Bridge', also known as the _Puente Árabe_ or 'Arab Bridge'), and Puente Nuevo ('New Bridge'), spanning the _Tajo canyon_.

Clarke and Lexa enjoyed their breakfast in one of the cafeterias and after taking some selfies and panoramic photos from the _parador _at the former town hall, they went back to the bike and drove off in the direction of the capital of Andalusia, Sevilla.

They took the road A375 and almost two hours later they arrived at the hotel in the centre of Sevilla. After changing their clothes, they went out to have lunch and spent the rest of the day, as well as the next one, walking around and sightseeing.

On Thursday morning they headed off to Cádiz, a city and port in southwestern Spain and one of the oldest continuously inhabited cities in Western Europe.

They spent the night there and the next morning they drove to Gibraltar, where they spent the last day of their road trip before heading back to Marbella.

The next morning, they were in Raven's car on their way to the airport to pick her up. About fifteen minutes after parking the car, they saw the Latina at the Arrivals terminal walking towards them and Clarke was the first to give her a big hug.

"I missed you!" she said once they had moved away from each other.

"You expect me to believe that, with this gorgeous human being standing next to you? Nah ah..." she joked, pointing at Lexa.

"Nice to see you again, Raven!" Lexa laughed and leaned into a hug.

"You are even more beautiful than I remember," Raven was being her typical self.

"Hey!! What is it with everyone trying to flirt with my..." Clarke bit her tongue, fully aware that she was about to say _girlfriend_. "...Lexa..." she finished the sentence.

Raven found the situation hilarious and was determined to tease Clarke about it later.

"Well, I believe it has to do a lot with the fact that _your _Lexa is fucking stunning," Raven laughed, noticing Clarke's and Lexa's flushed cheeks.

"Shut up," Clarke smiled and glanced timidly a Lexa, who seemed amused by the slightly awkward situation. "But you're right... She definitely is."

"Alright, you two..." Lexa laughed. "Let's get moving before it gets too hot outside... I want to go to the beach."

An hour later, they were on their way to the beach and they spent the morning there until lunch time.

In the afternoon, Raven was sleeping while Clarke and Lexa spent a few hours relaxing by the pool until it was time to get ready for their night out.

A little before 8 pm they went up and found Raven drinking coffee on the balcony and scrolling on her phone.

"Hey, love birds..." she greeted them as they entered the living room. "Coffee, Lexa?"

"I'm fine, thank you..." she smiled at Raven.

"Don't tell me you're like blondie over there..." she teased Lexa.

"What?"

"Not drinking coffee," Raven explained.

"Hey, I drink coffee... Sometimes," Clarke protested.

"Sure, like once a year," Raven rolled her eyes.

"I do it more often than that, for sure..." Lexa said. "Like...twice a year," she stuck her tongue out at Raven and laughed.

"I swear, you two are a match made in Heaven," Raven shook her head. "I guess that makes me God," she started laughing. "Which reminds me... you should definitely name your firstborn after me!"

Lexa laughed out loud at Raven's silliness while Clarke grabbed her hand and pulled her away in the direction of the bathroom.

"Hey, Clarkie!" Raven yelled when she saw them leaving. "There's something wrong with the air condition... We should call Julio!"

"Already did!" Clarke yelled back from the hallway. "He'll be here tomorrow before lunch."

Ten minutes later, while Lexa and Clarke were having fun under the shower, Raven's chill mood was suddenly interrupted by the sound of the doorbell.

"Yes?" she answered the intercom.

"Clarke, it's me, open up!" someone said in a familiar female voice.

"Octavia?" Raven's heartbeat accelerated the moment she realized it was her.

"Ra... Raven?" Octavia had the exact same reaction.

"Yeah... Um... Come on up," Raven was able to pull it together and she buzzed Octavia in.

She unlocked the door, leaving it ajar, and started walking around the living room feeling simultaneously nervous and excited. It was the first time she was going to see Octavia after the incident at the gym and she didn't know exactly how to act. Her first instict would probably be to hug her, or even kiss her, but she knew it wouldn't be appropriate, especially if Octavia was still dating Ricky.

As she was deep inside her thoughts, she heard the door close and a few moments later, she saw Octavia walking towards her.

Their eyes met and they were not able to look away for a while, until Raven broke the eye contact to quickly scan Octavia from head to toes, before the latter approached her and gave her a kiss on each cheek.

Her hair was loose and shiny, covering her shoulders all the way to the middle of her upper arms, and she was wearing a camouflage jumpsuit in combination with black high heels.

"I didn't know you were back," she finally said as she locked eyes with Raven again.

"Um... yeah, I just got back today..." the Latina tried to sound as casual as possible. "Clarke didn't mention you'd be coming tonight... Where's Ricky? Is he going to meet us there?"

"I've no idea where he is," Octavia sounded indifferent. "I haven't seen him at all this week."

"Oh..." Raven was confused. "I thought the two of you were..."

"What?"

"Together."

"No... we're just friends."

"With benefits?" Raven couldn't help but ask.

"Um..." Octavia was surprised by Raven's curiosity.

"Shit, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry..." she quickly apologized, seeing that Octavia was reluctant to answer. "Um, why don't you go to the balcony and I'll get us some beers to start off... Clarke said she'll serve us gin and tonic later."

"Where are they, by the way?" Octavia asked on her way to the balcony.

"Fucking, where else..." they both laughed and Raven went to the kitchen to get the drinks.

"We're not!" Clarke shouted on her way out of the bathroom.

"Well, not anymore..." Lexa added and made everyone laugh.

They got dressed quickly and joined Raven and Octavia on the balcony after Clarke served everyone some gin and tonic.

"Oh, I don't know... I might stick to beer tonight," Octavia was doubting. "Last time I drank gin was at your birthday party and it hit me pretty hard," she said to Clarke.

"Well, I remember you had a great time at my party," Clarke winked at her. "So, drink up, missy!"

Octavia looked at Clarke with a tense smile on her face, warning her with her eyes to keep the details to herself.

"Oh, I almost forgot!" Lexa suddenly exclaimed. "I'll be right back."

They all looked at her as she walked in the direction of Clarke's bedroom and came back a minute later with two thin rectangular-shaped objects in wrapping paper.

"Clarke told me you're fans of the show... So I brought you something," she handed the presents to Octavia and Raven.

"Awww... that's so sweet of you!" Octavia said as she started unwrapping.

They both opened their presents hastily and screamed when they saw the content. It was a dvd of the three seasons of the show, signed by all of the main actors and actresses.

"I hope I didn't mix them up," Lexa said.

"Oh my God!" Raven exclaimed. "No, no, mine says 'To Raven', all good... Thank you so much, Lexa, really!" she stood up and gave her a hug. "Dude, if you don't marry her, I will!" she said to Clarke as she was on her way back to her seat.

"Get in line!" Octavia joined the conversation as she leaned to hug Lexa as well, making everyone laugh. "But seriously, though... Thank you so much!"

"Not a problem at all," Lexa smiled at them. "I'm glad you like it!" she said and then took a small object out of her pocket, that looked a lot like an engagement ring box. "And this is for you..." she said as she put the box on the table, in front of Clarke.

All three looked at it, their jaws dropped and none of them knew how to react. Clarke glanced at Lexa, who was smiling at her, and then reached for the box.

"Holy shit, she's going to propose!" Raven exclaimed.

"What?" Lexa looked at her and laughed out loud. "I'm not proposing..."

Clarke quickly opened the box and saw a black guitar pick with the Heda bronze symbol printed on each side of it.

"I asked and they said this was the best thickness for an acoustic-electric guitar like yours," Lexa explained as Clarke took out the guitar pick.

"Oh wow, Lex... this is amazing!" Clarke had a huge smile on her face. "I love it! Thank you so much!" she said and hugged Lexa.

"Damn, I thought tonight was suddenly going to turn into an engagement party," Raven said and took a sip of her drink.

"Ray..." Clarke warned her with her eyes.

"What? I wouldn't be surprised, it's all I'm saying..." she winked at both of them.

"Don't worry, Raven... I'll make sure to come to you first," Lexa joked. "Since you're the matchmaker, or _God _as you called yourself, I wouldn't dare to do it without your approval."

They all laughed and Clarke squeezed Lexa's thigh under the table before giving her a quick peck on the cheek.

"Finally someone appreciates me in all of my glory," Raven laughed and raised her glass to meet Lexa's, making a clinking sound. "I'm just thankful you're here... I was getting worried about Clarke getting electrocuted..."

"What are you talking about?" Clarke was confused.

"Well, I could hear you playing with Hercules every single night since we came back from Paris... I was afraid it might explode or something..." Raven explained and everyone started laughing while Clarke hid her face in the palms of her hands.

"Actually... I don't think you should be thanking me..." Lexa said and got everyone's attention. "I was participating in most of those playdates, you know... On the phone..." she said as she raised her eyebrow and finished her drink. "Refill anyone?"

Raven's jaw dropped, whereas Clarke and Octavia burst into laughter seeing their friend unable to speak as Lexa smiled before she went to the kitchen to prepare the drinks.

"I've honestly never seen you speechless before," Octavia said after they had stop laughing.

"Oh, it's definitely a first," Clarke agreed."

"Dude..." Raven finally spoke, looking at Clarke. "She's a keeper."

"I know..." Clarke nodded, smiling at her friend.

A little before midnight, Lexa held Clarke's hand as the four of them were on their way to the club, tipsy and excited about dancing the night away.


	24. FENIX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girls' night out at the club (Fenix) takes an interesting turn 😉

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise surprise! 😁 I got so inspired that I was up till 5 am writing this chapter! 🤓
> 
> Hope you like it!
> 
> S.

The crowd in the club was moving to the beat of Rosalía's summer hit 'Con altura' as Lexa and Raven were standing by the bar, waiting for the drinks they had ordered moments earlier.

Clarke and Octavia were on the dance floor, dancing and laughing about something one of them had said a few seconds ago, but neither could really remember what it was about due to the moderately high level of alcohol in their blood.

Lexa looked in their direction and caught Clarke's wandering eyes that were already scanning her from afar.

The blonde was wearing an unbuttoned red flannel shirt with a simple black sleeveless shirt underneath, combined with black skinny jeans and black low top _Canvas Old Skool Vans _shoes. Her hair was up in a messy bun, giving her a casual look, which Lexa absolutely adored.

She, on the other hand, had opted for a slim fit, mid-thigh black dress with thin straps, and instead of high heels, she had chosen comfortable low top white _Converse Chuck Taylor All Star _shoes.

After exchanging a smile with her favourite brunette, Clarke focused her attention back on Octavia and in that moment Lexa could see two young women approaching them, trying to flirt and engage in a conversation with them.

"Don't worry, Clarke only has eyes for you," Raven said after observing the situation and gave her a pat on the shoulder.

"I'm not worried," Lexa smiled at her. "And you shouldn't be either."

"What do you mean?" Raven wasn't sure what Lexa was referring to.

"Octavia... She's been looking at you all night," she explained. "It's definitely mutual, in case you were wondering."

"Oh..." Raven was at loss for words.

"I'm sorry if I overstepped... I don't really know anything about the two of you, but... I feel like I owe you so much and I thought maybe if you heard it from someone who's completely objective in the matter, it could help you make a move..."

"No, no... It's fine, I'm..." Raven glanced quickly at Octavia before continuing. "What did Clarke tell you?"

"Clarke? Nothing," Lexa replied.

"Then... How did you know that I...?"

"Let me ask you something... In Paris, when you left me that note with Clarke's number... Did you think that I was going to contact her?" Lexa asked with a smile on her face.

"I didn't _think _it... I _knew _it," Raven laughed.

"Well... That's how I know about you and Octavia," Lexa winked at her. "I can see it in the way you look at each other... It's obvious."

"Damn..." Raven was surprised by Lexa's observational skills. "You know, Clarke said the same thing, but I think I wasn't ready to hear it just yet..."

"She's a smart women," Lexa smiled. "That's why I..." she stopped speaking, realizing something very important that she suddenly had the urge to share with Clarke. "Well... you know..." she smiled at Raven and grabbed two of the four drinks the bartender had just served them.

"I sure do," Raven smiled and picked up the other two drinks before they both started walking in the direction of the dance floor.

When they got to where Clarke and Octavia were standing, they saw that the two girls were still there and one of them was whispering something in Octavia's ear, whereas the other one was just standing next to Clarke who didn't seemed interested at all.

Lexa approached Clarke from behind and wrapped her arms around her waist, holding the drinks in her hands.

"Did you replace me already?" Lexa whispered in her ear.

Clarke closed her eyes, enjoying the brunette's warm breath on her skin and leaned on her for a quick second before she turned around to face her.

Lexa had a sexy smile on her face and raised her eyebrow the moment their eyes met as Clarke locked her fingers behind Lexa's neck.

"Worried?" Clarke asked playfully.

"Should I be?" Lexa played along.

"Not in the slightest..." Clarke winked at her and moved her lips to Lexa's ear. "I'm all yours, _baby_..."

The words that came out of Clarke's mouth gave Lexa goosebumps, almost feeling her warm lips on the skin of her ear. She took a deep breath, taking in the sweet scent of her blonde hair and gave her a kiss on the neck before she took a step back to give her the drink.

Meanwhile, Raven was standing next to Octavia, who was now laughing at something her new-made friend Sara had said. The other girl had approached Raven, introducing herself as Nerea, which caught Octavia's attention and involuntarily turned her head to look at the Latina. Their eyes met and Raven took the opportunity to hand Octavia the drink she had gotten for her earlier.

Octavia accepted the drink, nodding at Raven and gave her a quick smile before turning to the other side to get back to the ongoing conversation.

"Is that your girlfriend?" Nerea asked Raven, pointing at Octavia.

"No," Raven smiled and glanced at Octavia. "But I'd like her to be."

"Oh..." the girl couldn't hide her disappointment. "I'll go get something to drink... Nice to meet you, Raven."

"You too," Raven replied as the girl walked away from the group.

Clarke and Lexa approached Raven and the three of them started dancing to a remix of Stromae's 'Papaoutai'. Shortly after that, Octavia joined them after declining Sara's invitation to dance with her, explaining she wanted to spend the night with her friends.

An hour later, they all went outside to get some air and to rest their feet. They were sitting on a bench in front of the club, talking and laughing, when suddenly a group of girls approached them.

"Oh my God, it's really you!" one of them screamed in Spanish, looking at Lexa.

She looked at Clarke, noticing how the smile disappeared from her face as she let go of Lexa's hand, realizing she has been recognized.

Lexa turned her head to her fans and smiled at them.

"Hello," she greeted them.

"Wow! We're big fans!" one of the girls said in English with a strong Spanish accent.

"Thank you! It means a lot," Lexa thanked them politely.

"What are you doing in Spain? Is there a convention we didn't hear about?" the same girl asked.

"Oh, no... I'm on vacation, actually..." Lexa answered and quickly glanced at Clarke, who gave her a subtle smile.

"How nice!" they were all visibly excited to be having a conversation with her. "Lexa, can we take a photo with you?"

"Sure," she agreed and stood up next to them.

"Here, I'll take it..." Raven approached them and took the girl's phone.

They posed for the camera and after taking the photo, they thanked Lexa and went inside the club.

"Wow... Do you ever get used to that?" Octavia asked Lexa as the latter sat back down on the bench.

"Not really, no..." she replied. "I mean, I'm still trying to grasp the fact that I actually have fans," she laughed.

"We shouldn't have come here..." Clarke said quietly, looking worried.

"Clarke... No, please..." Lexa held her hand. "Don't worry about it... We're having a great time, right?" she said as she looked at Clarke and then at Raven and Octavia.

"But now they're going to post the photo on the internet and they're going to _out _you!" Clarke expressed her concern.

"I don't care, _baby_..." Lexa insisted. "They can do whatever they want. Plus, me being in a gay club doesn't prove anything."

"Yeah, she's right, Clarke..." Raven agreed. "Plus, you can't see where she is the photo... There are only palm trees in the background."

"There you go," Lexa smiled. "Let's go back inside now, I want to dance..." she stood up and pulled Clarke up.

"Lex... Are you sure about this?" Clarke was doubting.

"Yes!" Lexa cupped her cheeks and gave her a quick peck on the lips. "Let's go!"

She grabbed Clarke by the hand and they all went inside. The moment they entered, it was obvious that the word had spread and all eyes were suddenly on Lexa. In spite of it, she seemed to be completely relaxed and didn't think twice before she wrapped her arms around Clarke who was reluctant to do the same.

"Lexa..." she said when Lexa's nose was almost touching hers.

"Oh, come on... Dance with me, please..." she begged with sad puppy eyes.

Clarke laughed and finally gave up, putting her arms around Lexa's waist as they danced to some reggaeton music.

Couple of songs later, the four of them were dancing together when a different group of girls approached Lexa, asking to take a photo with her. She agreed and as time went by, there were more and more people with the same idea, and after Lexa granted their wish, she and Clarke had decided it was time to go home.

Raven and Octavia had decided to stay, considering it was only a little after 2 am and the atmosphere in the club was only starting to heat up.

Once they were alone, Raven figured it was time to make a move... Or at least try.

"Do you want something to drink?" she asked as she approached Octavia.

"No, thank you... I think I'll stick to water for the rest of the night," Octavia replied and showed Raven the bottle of water she was holding in her hand.

"Good choice," Raven smiled and left her drink on one of the tables nearby. "Would you...um...like to dance?" she managed to ask.

Octavia's heart skipped a beat when she heard Raven's invitation and was unable to reply due to the excitement she felt having the Latina so close to her. She nodded and left the bottle on the table before she wrapped her arms around Raven, who grabbed her by the waist as they moved their hips to the rhythm of the music.

Their warm, sweaty cheeks were almost touching as one song ended and a new one began, without the intention of breaking the contact between them.

"You smell really nice," Raven whispered in Octavia's ear, making her shiver.

"You too..." Octavia said as she tightened her grip, pulling Raven slightly closer.

Raven's hands found Octavia's hips as she placed her thigh between her legs, cutting all the distance between their bodies.

Octavia could feel every single nerve ending in her body responding to Raven's touch, transmitting the impulses to her brain, only to find their way to the area below her belly button and inside her sex, increasing its heat and wetness. Raven was experiencing something very similar and found herself in a state of pleasure and complete serenity, wishing she could stay in Octavia's arms forever.

They were both so comfortable in that position that they had lost track of time, feeling surprised when the music suddenly stopped and soon after that the lights were on, which meant the club was about to close.

"Is... Is it 5 am already?" Raven asked as they slowly moved away from each other.

"It seems so," Octavia answered after she looked at her watch.

They left the club and started walking in the direction of the taxi stop.

"You must be really tired..." Octavia decided to start a conversation. "I mean, you came back from your trip today, right?"

"Oh... Yes... But I'm not tired at all, actually... I think it's the jet lag..."

"Jet leg? Were you out of the country?" Octavia was curious.

"Yeah... I was in New York, visiting my family... Didn't Clarke tell you?"

"Um... No..." Octavia blushed. "You didn't mention anything at the gym."

"It was unplanned, actually... I booked the flight that same night when I got home."

"Oh... Is your family alright?" Octavia looked at Raven, feeling a bit worried now that she'd found out about the circumstances of Raven's trip.

"Yes, yes, everything's fine," Raven smiled at Octavia, seeing the concern in her eyes. "I just... Needed to get away... It was one of those spontaneous decisions."

"I see..." Octavia smiled back as she stopped next to a taxi and turned to face Raven. "Well... I..."

"I had a great time tonight," Raven interrupted her, giving her a timid smile.

"Me too," Octavia's lips curled, showing her white teeth.

"You have a really beautiful smile," Raven blurted out and suddenly felt her cheeks burning.

"Thank you," Octavia's smile grew bigger, feeling happy and confused at the same time. "I like your smile too," she returned the compliment.

"Thanks," Raven said as she started scratching the back of her neck. "Well, I guess I should head back to the love nest... I think I'm definitely gonna be needing ear plugs tonight," she said, making Octavia laugh.

"Definitely," she agreed and they looked at each other in silence, neither of them really wanting to go their separate ways just yet. "Unless... Um..."

"What?"

"I have a couch," Octavia said and bit her lip, feeling slightly nervous about inviting Raven over to her apartment. "You could crash at my place if you'd like..."

"Really?" Raven was taken completely by surprise. "That would be great, actually..." she was unable to hide her enthusiasm.

"Of course," Octavia was becoming more relaxed now that Raven had accepted to go home with her. "We should give the love birds some privacy," she winked at Raven and opened the back door of the taxi. "Shall we?"

"Yes," Raven smiled and held the door open for Octavia. "After you."

They went inside the cab and Raven texted Clarke, informing her of her whereabouts.

When they entered Octavia's apartment, her dog Maki was already by the door, seeking attention. His tail started wiggling fast when he recognized Raven, so she went down on her knees to cuddle with the big dog.

"I missed you so much, you big teddy bear!" she said as she was hugging him and stroking his head.

Octavia smiled at them on her way to the living room.

"He actually ignored me completely the moment he saw you," she said to Raven, who was now walking behind her.

"Can you blame him?" Raven joked and stood in a model pose in front of Octavia, making her laugh.

"I really can't..." she replied and locked eyes with Raven who seemed to blush at her comment. "I'll go get you a pillow and some sheets... I'll bring you a big T-shirt you can change into if you'd like... Or do you prefer a pyjama set?"

"T-shirt would be fine, thank you... It's too hot for pyjamas," Raven smiled timidly.

"Okay, I'll be right back."

Octavia came back to the living room moments later and gave Raven the T-shirt before she started preparing the couch for her.

"The bathroom is down the hall to the right..." she explained. "And you can see the kitchen over here, feel free to take anything you'd like... Are you hungry, by the way?"

As she turned around, she saw Raven in her underwear seconds before she put on the t-shirt she'd given her earlier.

"Sorry," she quickly turned around, feeling embarrassed and a bit aroused at the same time.

"It's okay..." Raven laughed. "It's not like you haven't seen me in a bikini..."

"That's different..." Octavia was still showing her back to Raven.

"You can turn around now," Raven found Octavia's behaviour incredibly cute. "And... I actually am a little hungry... How about you?"

"I could eat," Octavia smiled. "I'll go change and I'll make us some sandwiches maybe?"

"Sounds great...thank you," Raven thanked her and sat on the couch as Octavia walked in the direction of her bedroom.

A few minutes later, she came back, wearing a short, black sleeveless V-neck nightgown, making Raven swallow hard at the sight of her.

"You can turn on the TV if you'd like," she said on her way to the kitchen.

Octavia prepared some hot cheese sandwiches and sat on the couch, next to Raven, laying the plates with food on the coffee table.

"Mmm thank you!" Raven didn't hesitate and took a bite before Octavia could warn her about the hot cheese.

"Be caref..."

"Aaaahhh hot hot hot!" she exclaimed, opening her mouth wide, trying to cool the food inside it.

"The cheese is hot," Octavia couldn't help but laugh. "I'll get you some water."

After they finished eating, Raven went to the bathroom and as she entered the living room on her way back, she saw that Octavia was getting ready to go to her bedroom.

"Are you sleepy?" she asked her.

"Um... Not really, no..." Octavia answered. "You?"

"Not at all... Would you like to watch TV with me? Or talk maybe?"

"Sure..."

"Which one?" Raven smiled at her.

"Um... Talk?" Octavia sat on the couch and Raven joined her. "You could tell me how was New York, for example..."

"It was good... Really good, actually. I managed to clear some things up in my head..." she looked her in the eye.

"That's good..."

"It is, yes... I... I realized that I've been hiding for a very long time..."

"Hiding? From what?"

"Feelings..." Raven tilted her head downwards and then looked back up at Octavia. "Octavia, I... There's something I want you to know... The only person I've told since I moved to Spain is Clarke... But I want to tell you..."

"What...what is it?" Octavia was becoming concerned.

Raven took a deep breath before she started talking.

"Okay... So... I want to tell you about... Anya... I met her in the last year of high school, she had just moved to New York and transferred to our school. We had a lot of classes together and we hit if off immediately... I knew I was attracted to her the minute I saw her," Raven smiled, remembering the moment. "But I hadn't been with anyone before, at least nothing serious, only a few kisses here and there... I was pretty shy back then, believe it or not," they both laughed before she continued with the story. "Anyway, she was quite the opposite, so she made the first move and we fell madly in love... She was my first girlfriend...my first everything... We graduated from high school and I went to study graphic design, she studied law... You see, Anya was transgender and her dream was to change the laws that discriminate against the lgbtq community in general, and especially against trans people... She was very active, participating in all the protests and everything, and I was always by her side throughout the years... Except the day before my graduation... There was a protest against The Public Facilities & Security Act... They were trying to pass a law that would force trans people to use the bathroom according to the gender they were assigned at birth, so Anya was there, protesting and I had the presentation of my thesis the next day, so I stayed at home to prepare... Anya called me in the evening on her way to her apartment... She wished me good luck and we agreed to meet with my parents and celebrate my graduation after the presentation the next day... We talked all the way to her building and we said goodnight... The next morning when I was done with the presentation at the University, I walked out of the building and I saw my parents... It looked like they had been crying..." Raven teared up. "They were supposed to pick up Anya and she wasn't with them... So I knew something bad must've happened... I asked them where she was and..." tears fell down Raven's cheeks as her voice cracked.

"Ray..." Octavia placed her hand on Raven's thigh.

"They killed her, O..." Raven looked at Octavia, whose eyes were also tearing up.

"My God, Ray... I'm so sorry..." she said with a soft voice.

"A group of ignorant men saw her at the protest and followed her home... And the moment she was done talking to me, they attacked her as she was about to unlock the door... They..." Raven started shaking, tears rolling down her cheeks. "They beat her to death, wrote _faggot _on her forehead and took her phone, so she wouldn't be able to call for help if she woke up... They left her there to die, O... and I... I couldn't protect her..."

Octavia couldn't stop the tears leaving her eyes as she hugged Raven and held her tight.

"Oh, Ray... I can't possibly imagine the pain you must've felt losing her... But I hope you know there's nothing you or anyone else could've done... If you'd been there with her, they would've attacked you too..."

"I know..." Raven nodded. "One year of therapy was more than enough to help me understand that and to stop blaming myself..." she said as she slowly moved away from Octavia, who wiped her tears with her hand. "And then the therapist thought that a change of environment would be a great idea, to move to a place that won't remind me of her so much... So, here I am..." she gave Octavia a sad smile.

"Here you are..." she smiled back at her.

"And I've been doing fine... Or at least that's what I thought... I met Clarke, she became my best friend... She didn't judge me for having one night stands and insignificant flings... And I guess it was what I needed at the time... But then..." she paused and she could see that Octavia's chest was moving up and down fast. "Then I met you... And I knew that we clicked instantly... All those years or sarcastic comments and teasing..." they smiled at each other. "I wasn't ready for it to mean something, you know? But then at Clarke's birthday party... When I kissed you... And you kissed me back... I knew I was in trouble..." she smiled and saw Octavia bite her lip. "I've been in denial ever since... Until our second kiss... In that restaurant's bathroom... That's when I decided I would tell you how I felt about you... I didn't want to just text you, I wanted it to be...special," she said and her cheeks flushed. "So I wrote you a letter," she smiled. "I was going to bring it to you after the gym... And then you were there... And I was so happy to see you... But then you left and I went after you and I saw you kissing Ricky..."

"Oh, Ray, no... I..."

"It's okay... I waited too long and now you're involved with him, and I don't expect you to..."

Octavia quickly grabbed her by the back of her neck and pulled her into a kiss, silencing her in the middle of the sentence.

She moved away slowly and cupped her cheeks, looking her in the eyes.

"I'm not involved with him... Or anyone for that matter," she said as she smiled at Raven, whose eyes were wide open in disbelief. "Never was, never will be... The kiss you witnessed was the only time it happened... And he knew how I felt about you from the beginning... He's been a good friend... Without benefits," she pointed out and they both chuckled. "Unlike you and that... American girl from the gym," she raised her eyebrow.

"Oh, that... Um... She's Canadian, actually..." Octavia raised her eyebrows even more. "What I meant to say was... Who? I don't even know who you're talking about," Raven joked. "Can we go back to what you were saying about your feelings for me?" she asked, making Octavia laugh.

"You were driving me crazy!" Octavia laughed and stroked Raven's cheek, while she put her hand on top of hers.

"Were you jealous?" Raven had a huge smile on her face.

"Don't push it!" Octavia was unsuccessfully trying to pull a straight face. "But... Yes. I even kissed Ricky trying to get you off my mind," she said and smiled softly at Raven.

"You could've done worse... he's a great guy!" Raven joked and Octavia pushed her shoulder, making her laugh. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." Raven grabbed her by the waist and pulled her closer, leaning with her forehead on hers. "I even crossed the ocean to get you off my mind and it didn't work..."

Their eyes met, slightly puffy and red, with their make up completely ruined, but none of that mattered as they were eager to feel each other's lips again.

They leaned into a kiss, different from the ones they had shared before, full of promises and passion, absorbing all of the sensations generated by the movements of their tongues, waking up every single cell in their bodies.

After a while, they slowly moved away from each other, touching with their foreheads as their breathing was starting to calm down. They watched a little TV before falling asleep on the couch in each other's arms.

Around 12 am, they were woken up by the sound of an incoming call on Raven's phone. She grabbed it quickly, Octavia's head still resting on her chest and she answered when she saw Clarke's name on the screen.

**Phone call**

_Raven_:  
"Hey, Clarkie... What's up?" she said in a sleepy voice.

_Clarke:_  
"Ray..." Clarke's voice was weak and her breathing heavy.

_Raven:_  
"Clarke? What's the matter?" Octavia woke up, noticing the distress in Raven's voice and moved to let the Latina sit up.

_Clarke:_  
"I... I can't..." Clarke could barely speak in between the crying.

_Raven:_  
"Clarke, just... Try to calm down... Tell me what's happening..."

_Clarke:_  
"It's... Lexa..." she managed to say before she burst into tears.


	25. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time to find out what happened to Lexa!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I would like to thank all of you for showing your interest in the story, I especially appreciate your comments, sharing your thoughts with me. I must admit seeing how intrigued you were by how the last chapter ended actually inspired me to write the new chapter in such short time. I guess we could call that a group effort ;) I haven't published three chapters in one week in a very long time, maybe not ever, and I'm very happy with how it turned out... This chapter is the longest so far, and also a very important one.  
Anyway... I hope you like it and please don't hate me too much :D Let me know what you think, I always like to hear from you!

_Nine and a half hours earlier_

"I'm sorry we had to leave so soon..." Lexa said to Clarke as they entered the apartment.

"Oh, no, it's totally fine," Clarke replied, walking into the living room. "I only wanted to go out so I could dance with you... And as I recall, we did dance... a lot..." they smiled at each other as Clarke placed her hands on Lexa's hips. "Are you okay, by the way? With all those people recognizing you?"

"Sure," Lexa assured Clarke as she wrapped her arms around her. "I just feel bad that it kind of cut our night short, that's all..."

"Well... the night isn't over yet, is it?" Clarke asked with a smirk on her face.

"Mmm... You're right," she leaned into a kiss. "You're not sleepy, then?"

"Not at all... You?"

"Great! I'm far from sleepy, which is why I think it is the perfect night for the surprise I've been planning to give you," Lexa's lips curled into a big smile.

"Oooh what is it?" Clarke was excited and curious.

"If I tell you, it's not going to be a surprise, now is it?" Lexa winked at her. "You just stay here, I have to take something from the bedroom... As soon as you hear me lock the bathroom door, go to the bedroom, sit on the bed and wait for me, okay?"

"Damn... You have a whole plan," Clarke smiled and raised her eyebrow. "I like it!"

"Good!" Lexa gave her a peck on the lips and walked in the direction of the bedroom. "Sit on the couch and don't peek!" she shouted from the hallway.

"Yes, _Commander..."_ Clarke laughed as she sat on the couch, excited to see what Lexa had prepared for her.

Clarke could hear Lexa opening her suitcase and moments later she was already in the bathroom, which meant Clarke could now go and wait for her in the bedroom. She went inside and took off her shoes, jeans and the flannel shirt before she sat on the bed in her underwear, with the sleeveless black shirt covering only her upper body.

The anticipation made the waiting extremely excruciating for Clarke, seeming to her that it took Lexa hours to be done with whatever she was doing in the bathroom. In reality it was only about 10 minutes before she heard the door open, followed by the sound of Lexa's voice.

"Are you in the bedroom?" she asked.

"Yes, I'm on the bed, waiting... Just like you pretty much ordered me to do," Clarke's excitement was increasing.

"Good," Lexa smiled at the blonde's comment. "I'm coming in..."

The room was dark, except for the street light entering through the white curtains, illuminating Lexa's silhouette. As she came closer, Clarke could distinctively see Heda's famous black war paint around her eyes and down her cheeks and her hair pushed back, away from her face with a panel of hair on top of her head. Clarke's breathing was becoming faster as she was discovering the details of the outfit, from the chest armour, the corset waist belt, the black distressed skinny jeans, the leg strap sheath around her thighs, all the way to the black knee-high boots.

Lexa stood in front of her with her arms wide open and the determined, intense look in her eyes that Clarke was used seeing on the show when Lexa was portraying Heda.

"_Ai laik Heda,"_ she said in a stoic voice, speaking the language of the Grounders.

"Oh, I definitely _like _Heda," Clarke couldn't help but jump at the opportunity to take advantage of the double meaning of the word, even though she could barely speak due to the brunette taking her breath away by fulfilling her fantasy.

"Claaarke, come on..." Lexa started laughing and broke out of character, unable to stay in the role of Heda.

"I'm sorry, _baby_... I couldn't help it," Clarke laughed as well. "Damn, you look so fucking hot... Fuck, Lexa..." she scanned her from head to toes. "Come here..."

"Tonight I give the orders... All you have to do is obey..." Lexa went back in character. "Is that clear?"

"Yes..." Clarke swallowed hard, feeling the heat starting to accumulate between her thighs.

"Yes what?" Lexa raised an eyebrow, demanding an answer.

"Yes, my _Commander,"_ Clarke was quick to answer, keeping the intense eye contact between them.

"That's better," Lexa said with a smirk on her face. "Now... Take off your shirt and sit on the bed... on your knees."

Clarke quickly did what was asked of her and sat down, waiting for further instructions.

"Good..." Lexa said as she approached her and grabbed her by the back of her neck, pulling her closer, feeling her breath on her lips. "How bad do you want me to fuck you?" she asked and watched how Clarke's pupils dilated, eclipsing her ocean blue eyes.

"Really really bad..." Clarke replied in a raspy voice.

Lexa leaned and pressed her lips on the blonde's neck, provoking a dirty moan that Clarke was unable to contain. She stopped immediately when she felt Clarke's hands on her back.

"Who said you could touch me?" Lexa moved away and looked her in the eye.

"I'm... I'm sorry..." Clarke's initial confusion was suddenly replaced by pure arousal.

"You're sorry, WHAT?" Lexa insisted.

"I'm sorry, my _Commander,"_ Clarke bit her lower lip and gave her a naughty smile.

Lexa nodded, feeling her mouth becoming dry at the sight of Clarke teasing her playfully.

"Turn around," she gave another command.

Clarke didn't hesitate, she simply rotated her body 180° with her knees flexed, turning with her back towards Lexa, and then she sat back, her buttocks resting on her heels. Lexa leaned with her knee on the bed and touched her shoulders, slowly moving her fingers down Clarke's back until she reached the back of her black bra and unhooked it expertly. She placed her fingers under the straps and slowly slid them down Clarke's arms until the bra fell on the bed. Her hands found Clarke's waist, moving towards her abdomen and then north all the way to her round, perky breasts that she cupped with her palms, teasing her hard nipples with her long fingers.

"Oooh..." Clarke released a moan the moment she felt Lexa's touch, tilting her head backwards.

Lexa took advantage of Clarke's position, attacking her neck with her lips, teeth and tongue, biting her skin and then soothing it with her tongue, keeping her hands firmly placed on the blonde's breasts. Seeing that Clarke's moans were becoming louder, Lexa ordered her to lean forward and to support her weight on her forearms and elbows, which the blonde did immediately, giving her a spectacular view of her behind.

The brunette grabbed her ass and squeezed it hard before leaving kisses on her glutes as she was pulling her panties down her legs, leaving them at her flexed knees. Then she grabbed her by the hips and flipped her onto her back, noticing the surprise on Clarke's face when their eyes met.

Lexa continued with her task, talking her panties off and she threw them on the floor before she straddled her. She grabbed her by the wrists, pinning them on the bed on each side of Clarke's head before she invaded her mouth with her tongue, to which the blonde responded with a suffocated moan.

As the kissing intensified, Lexa could feel Clarke's hips moving up and down underneath her, looking for friction.

"No," she said after she pulled away from Clarke in the middle of the kiss, increasing the pressure on the blonde's hips with her thighs.

Clarke's lips were slightly open and she was breathing heavily, making it obvious for Lexa how much she needed to be touched. Lexa kissed her again, this time starting at the corner of her jaw, moving down her neck to her collar bones, letting go of her wrists only to cup her breasts the moment she put her erect pink nipple in her mouth. A tingling feeling crossed her body when she heard the sounds of pleasure leaving Clarke's throat, the volume increasing with each stroke of her tongue.

After giving her breasts her undivided attention, Lexa's lips followed an invisible trail down Clarke's abdomen all the way to her pubic bone, which is when she stopped and stood by the edge of the bed.

Clarke opened her eyes and looked up at Lexa, surprised at the sudden loss of contact.

"Spread your legs for me..." Lexa gave yet another command.

Clarke smiled and opened her legs, revealing her wetness and lifting her upper body, leaning on her elbows.

"Wider..." Lexa added with a smirk on her face, raising an eyebrow.

The blonde bit her lower lip as she obeyed and watched Lexa get between her legs, kissing her inner thighs, looking up at Clarke seconds before she buried her tongue in her folds.

Seeing Lexa in Heda's outfit giving her pleasure with her tongue was something Clarke had been fantasizing about ever since she first saw her portray the fictional character on television. They had joked about Clarke's wet dreams about Heda in some of their video calls, but she never thought that Lexa would actually bring the outfit with her to turn those dreams into reality. What she didn't know was that ever since they first slept together in Paris, Clarke's biggest dream was actually waking up next to her for the rest of her life.

"You taste so fucking good, _baby_..." Lexa spoke before she buried her face back between Clarke's thighs, making the blonde moan even louder.

Her tongue was making circles around Clarke's clitoris as she positioned her middle finger at the entrance of Clarke's wetness.

"Do you want to feel me inside you?" she asked in a low, raspy voice.

"Fuck... Yes..." Clarke was desperately trying to control her breathing, her fingers clenching into the sheets.

"Yes, WHAT?" Lexa stopped to look up at Clarke.

"Yes, _Commander_... Please..." she replied and saw Lexa's smirk as she pushed her middle finger inside her pussy.

Lexa pressed her lips on her clitoris, licking and sucking as she added another finger inside, noticing how Clarke arched her back at the intrusion.

"Oh, fuuuck... Yes... Fuck me..."

Clarke was becoming louder and her vagina tighter, her hips were moving uncontrollably towards Lexa's fingers, making the penetration deeper, feeling her climax starting to build up inside of her.

Moments before she could reach it, Lexa suddenly moved away and removed her fingers from Clarke's warm, wet pussy.

"What...?? Lexa!!" Clarke protested as she opened her eyes to look at Lexa who was now standing by the bed.

She licked Clarke's wetness off her fingers and raised an eyebrow.

"I am Heda..." she said in a firm voice. "You'll come only when I let you come, is that understood?"

"Fuck... You're killing me... Please..." Clarke tried to negotiate.

Lexa raised her hand the exact same way she did it as Heda every time she wished to silence everyone under her command in the show.

"Don't move a muscle," she said calmly on her way to the night drawer, from where she took out the strap-on.

She hooked it around her hips, on top of her jeans and stood next to the bed, looking at Clarke from above.

"Come closer," she instructed.

Clarke slid her body closer to where Lexa was standing.

"Closer..." Lexa insisted. "Sit on the edge of the bed."

Once she had her exactly where she wanted her, she pushed her down on her back and spread her legs, standing between her thighs.

"Wait..." Clarke reached for the pillow and put it under her to even out the height difference.

Lexa smiled at her, thankful for the gesture, but at the same time wishing she'd thought of that herself, although it was logical that she wouldn't know all the tricks just yet, given that she had just began using the strap-on about a week ago.

She grabbed her hips and pressed the dangling dildo against Clarke's soaked folds as she leaned to trap one of her nipples in her mouth. Clarke bit her lip, trying to contain the moan, her arousal increasing with each new stimulation Lexa was providing her.

Lexa pulled herself back up and when she grabbed the dildo, she could see the front side of it completely wet due to it rubbing against Clarke's pussy. She moved her fingers up and down the blonde's wetness, making her almost scream of pleasure.

"I love how wet you are right now..." she said as she moved her hand up and down the dildo, lubricating it with Clarke's sweet nectar.

She positioned the tip of it at the entrance of Clarke's vagina, receiving a confirmation from her in the form of a very loud moan and she pushed slowly inside, her fingers buried in the flesh on her hips.

Clarke arched her back at the intrusion and wrapped her legs around Lexa who was moving her hips back and forth, going deeper with each new thrust.

Once she was completely inside, she lifted Clarke's behind, making her lean on her arms as she pulled her hips higher and increased the speed of her movements.

"God... Fuck... Oh... Yes... Oh my God... Yes..." the words simply flew out of Clarke's mouth as Lexa went deeper and faster, holding her tight and penetrating her with lust.

Lexa was sweating and panting, feeling confident and satisfied, seeing Clarke's eyes roll back the moment she moved her hand from her hip to her clitoris without reducing the speed of her movements, giving her the most intense orgasm of her life.

A minute or two later, Clarke finally opened her eyes to look at Lexa, who had been waiting patiently for her to catch her breath. She smiled at her as she laid her ass down on the pillow and slowly took the dildo out of her.

"I'm pretty sure I fainted just now," Clarke laughed.

Lexa unhooked the strap-on and left it on the bed before lying next to her.

"It was pretty intense," she smiled and leaned to kiss her on the lips.

"You were pretty bossy," Clarke smiled back as she stroked her cheek.

"Did you like it?" she raised an eyebrow. "I know how much you hate not being in control..."

"True..." Clarke laughed. "But with you it's different... I like everything that you do to me... And this was special... Thank you," she smiled and gave her a kiss.

"Was? We're not done yet," Lexa said with a smirk on her face, making Clarke's smile grow wider. "Lie down on your back..."

Lexa stood up and opened the drawer to take out the toy cleaner spray. She reached for the strap-on dildo and cleaned it with the towel before she sat on the bed and hooked it around Clarke's hips.

"I want you to watch me now..." she said as she stood next to the edge of the bed.

Clarke lifted the upper part of her body, leaning on her elbows, watching closely as Lexa started to remove her clothing. She took off her boots and freed her thighs from the leg strap sheath, then she moved her fingers to the corset waist belt, which she unhooked before she took off her black blouse and jeans, along with the chest armour. The desire in the blonde's eyes was evident as Lexa removed her bra and her soaked panties before she got on top of Clarke.

Lexa sat on her lower abdomen, feeling the dildo rub against her behind and she leaned into a kiss. Clarke's hands were on their way to Lexa's hips when the latter grabbed her wrists and held them down.

"I haven't given you permission to touch me yet," Lexa whispered in Clarke's ear before she moved back up. "I will let you watch, though..." she said as she placed her fingers on her clitoris and started masturbating in front of Clarke, sitting on top of her.

Clarke's lips parted, feeling the heat spread through her body as she was watching Lexa's wetness cover her fingers and drip on her stomach.

"Thirsty?" Lexa asked seductively.

"Fuck yeah..." Clarke was eager to taste Lexa.

Lexa smiled as she moved up, placing her knees on each side of Clarke's head, straddling her face. The blonde moaned when she felt Lexa's warm pussy and put her bulging clitoris in her mouth as the latter started moving her hips back and forth. She quickly grabbed Clarke's hands and placed them on her glutes, giving her permission to finally touch her as she buried her fingers in her blonde hair and clenched them, moaning loud when Clarke hit the right spot with her tongue.

"Right there... Yes... Oh fuck, Clarke..."

The movements of her hips were becoming erratic as she was about to transform her arousal into an orgasm, and it took all the will and strength in her body to stop herself from coming by moving away from Clarke's face.

The blonde protested at the lost contact, but was soon comforted when she saw Lexa moving down and grabbing the dildo strapped around Clarke's hips, while sitting on her thighs. She stretched her arm towards the blonde's face and cupped her cheek, gently stroking her lips with her thumb.

"Open your mouth..." she requested and put two fingers inside Clarke's mouth as soon as the blonde did what she had asked of her.

Clarke moaned as she started sucking Lexa's fingers, seeing the brunette's lips part, letting out the sexiest sound as she was observing Clarke work her tongue and lips around her long fingers.

A few moments later she removed them from her mouth and quickly started touching herself with the same fingers under Clarke's watchful eye.

Once her whole palm was wet enough, she started rubbing the dildo up and down in the most erotic way, from tip to shaft, and when she was satisfied with the lubrication she sat up on her knees, leaning forward with one hand on the bed and the other one holding the dildo, introducing it inside her pussy.

Clarke's eyes widened as she watched the cock disappear inside Lexa as the latter sat back, letting out a loud moan, grinding on Clarke's pelvis.

"Fuck... _Baby_... I want to touch you, please..." Clarke begged.

"Ahh... not... yet..." Lexa denied her request in between moans.

After a while she started moving faster and leaned forward, holding on to Clarke's breasts.

"Fuck... I love your boobs," she said and saw the blonde smile at her contently.

"Please let me fuck you..." Clarke tried to negotiate. "Please... I'll let you do whatever you want to me... Whenever you want it... Just let me fuck you..."

Lexa was starting to feel the muscles in her legs ache, so Clarke's request was actually exactly what she needed in that moment.

"Alright... I command you to fuck me..." she joked and they smiled at each other.

"Put your hands on each side of my head, please..."

As soon as Lexa did what Clarke had asked of her, the latter raised her knees and lifted the brunette's hips with her hands until almost the entire strap-on was outside of her entrance. She pushed inside her rapidly watching her head fall down, her perky breasts bouncing as Clarke dug her heels in to keep the pace and pressure up, holding her firmly by the hips.

Clarke's thrusts were becoming deeper and faster, eliciting the most primal sounds of pleasure from Lexa in combination with the wet slapping sound of entering her at such a speed.

Not long after that, Clarke moved one of her hands to press Lexa's clitoris which made her come hard, letting out a low groan, followed by the aftershocks of the orgasm.

She collapsed onto Clarke, the dildo still inside her as she hid her face in the crook of the blonde's neck.

"That was a good exercise, huh?" Clarke joked as she moved Lexa's hair from her sweaty forehead.

"Mmm..." Lexa was panting, finding it difficult to speak. "Auch... Take it out..." she said as she moved her hips, feeling the dildo hit a sensitive spot.

Clarke grabbed the dildo and quickly slipped out of her.

They stayed in the same position for a while, until Lexa went to the bathroom to take off her make up. In the meantime, Clarke unhooked the harness and put it back in the drawer after cleaning it.

"You had sex with Heda, but you'll wake up next to Lexa..." the brunette joked as she lay naked next to Clarke.

"You're the only one I want to wake up with..." Clarke confessed. "Lexa, I..."

They looked at each other, with their hearts in their throats, knowing that the words that were about to follow could bind them together, officially, and possibly forever.

"I love you," Clarke finally got the courage to put her feelings into words, her heart racing as she was trying to read something in Lexa's eyes. "I know it's fast and it's weird because it has never happened to me before, but... It's just how I feel and I wanted you to know.. you don't have to say it ba..."

"I love you too," Lexa interrupted her, smiling and noticing the relieve on Clarke's face.

"You... You do?" Clarke's lips curled into a big smile.

"Yes... I'm crazy about you, Clarke..." Lexa cupped her cheek. "I don't want to even think about how difficult it will be to say goodbye to you on Tuesday..."

"Shhhhhh..." Clarke touched Lexa's lips with her index finger. "Could we talk about something else, please?"

"We don't have to talk at all," Lexa raised an eyebrow and smiled at Clarke.

Their lips met in a kiss that quickly intensified, leading to a new wave of arousal, making their bodies melt into one as they made love until they fell asleep in each other's arms.

* * *

The next morning they woke up around 10:30 am and after cuddling in bed, they showered together and put on some clothes before they went to the kitchen.

Lexa was wearing Clarke's t-shirt with one of Spain's most famous beers' logo on the front and Clarke's blue boxers with images of red bottle openers printed on the material, whereas Clarke had opted for her grey Capitan America t-shirt and yellow boxers with tiny little cactuses printed on them.

"I'm making you pancakes, European style," Clarke said excitedly once they were in the kitchen.

"Awesome! I'm starving..." Lexa smiled and gave her a kiss. "Do you need help? What can I do?"

"Oh, no no... Thank you," Clarke declined. "I'll be done quickly... You can wait in the living room or on the balcony if you'd like."

"You sure?"

"Yes," Clarke smiled and gave her a kiss. "Go."

Lexa turned around and the moment she entered the living room, they heard the doorbell.

"Oh, I totally forgot... Julio is coming to fix the air condition," Clarke shouted as she left the kitchen. "I'll introduce you," she said and smiled at Lexa from the hallway, a few steps from the door.

She opened the door and felt the blood drain from her face when she saw the familiar face in front of her.

"Eva..." she said quietly.

"Hello, Clarke..." Eva looked angry. "Or should I call you cheater?"

Clarke opened her mouth in shock, unable to move.

"What...?"

"Where is she?" Eva interrupted her. "Where's Lexa Woods? Huh? What, you're shy now? But you weren't shy last night when you were parading with her in Fenix, were you? My friend Mónica saw you!"

"Clarke?" Lexa came to the hallway to see who was at the door, as she didn't understand anything from what she had heard, except for her own name. "Is everything alright?" she asked once she stood behind Clarke and locked eyes with the attractive brunette standing at the door.

"There she is," Eva started speaking in English. "Don't worry, Lexa, except for being a liar and a cheater, she's perfectly fine," she said in a sarcastic tone.

"Eva, stop it!" Clarke tried to calm her down. "You should leave."

"And you shouldn't have cheated on me, but here we are!" Eva refused to go.

"Cheated?" Lexa didn't quite understand what was happening. "This is Eva, your ex?" she asked Clarke.

"Oh, she told you about me, then?" Eva spoke before Clarke was able to respond. "Before or after she got into your pants? Or should I say, you got into hers? Nice boxers, by the way..." she said, noticing that Lexa was wearing Clarke's underwear.

"Clarke, I don't understand... Are you two still together?" Lexa looked at Clarke with confusion and fear in her eyes.

"No! We're not! She's my ex... I'll explain everything," she said before she turned back to Eva. "Eva, I want you to go," she said and tried to close the door.

"Sure, I'll go, but I just need to ask your lover a question..." she stopped her from closing the door and looked at Lexa. "You hooked up in Paris, didn't you? And did Clarke tell you that we were still together back then?"

"Eva!" Clarke was starting to lose her patience. "Leave her out of this!"

"She _is _a part of this, Clarke!" Eva yelled. "You go to Paris, ignore my calls and messages while you're there and the moment you come back you break up with me? Well, now I know why! And do you know what hurts the most? It's not that you slept with her, hell, I even gave you a permission to do it, remember? What hurts is that you actually lied to me when I asked if there's someone else... She's a fucking liar!" she turned to Lexa. "I'd be careful if I were you, I wouldn't be surprised if she changes you for the next famous person she meets," she finished.

"Fuck you, Eva!" Clarke was now pissed off.

"No, fuck you, Clarke! Oh, I almost forgot... Julio said he'll come up after lunch... He let me in, thinking we're still together... I suppose even he can't keep up with how fast you switch girlfriends," Eva turned around and walked away towards the elevator.

Clarke slammed the door and turned around only to discover that Lexa wasn't standing there anymore.

"Lexa!" she called her name as she entered the living room, seeing she wasn't there either.

She heard the sound of a zipper coming from the bedroom and rushed to get there. When she entered, she saw Lexa changing her clothes, putting on a dark blue t-shirt and light denim shorts she had taken out of the open suitcase on the bed.

"Lexa... What are you doing?"

"What does it look like?" Lexa replied without looking at her and started packing her clothes.

"Lexa, please... Wait a minute..." Clarke begged her as she moved closer and grabbed her by the forearm.

"What?" Lexa turned around to face her and that's when Clarke saw the tears threatening to leave her eyes. "What could you possibly say, Clarke? Huh? I didn't see you deny any of it two minutes ago... Did you change your mind? Are you going to deny it now?"

"No..." Clarke teared up, feeling her heart pounding in her chest, perceiving the disappointment in Lexa's voice. "But it's not what it sounds like... If you could just listen to me, please..."

"Yeah? Explain it to me, then..." she crossed her arms and tilted her head to the side. "Did you have a girlfriend when we met in Paris?"

"Yes, but..."

"Ha! Then it is exactly as it sounds!" she chuckled sarcastically.

"Lexa, please! Just hear me out, please... Let's sit down and talk, I'm begging you..."

"I'm fine standing... Say what you have to say, I'll listen."

"Thank you... Okay..." Clarke exhaled and ran her fingers through her hair. "So, yes, technically I hadn't broken up with Eva when I met you in Paris, but I was going to, I swear... We were not in a good place at all, we actually hadn't been for a while... We hadn't been intimate for months..." she said and saw Lexa swallow hard. "I'm not saying it's an excuse, okay? I just want to explain the circumstances...

"Continue..." Lexa was calming down, still in the same defensive position with her arms crossed across her chest.

"The last fight we had, the day before we flew to Paris was the last drop for me and I knew I couldn't delay it anymore... I had decided to talk to her as soon as I came back... And then I met you... And when I got your message inviting me to dinner, I had doubts, I admit... But I couldn't help myself, I couldn't pass on the chance to see you again... I wasn't able to stop thinking about you ever since we first talked at the photoshoot..."

"So, why didn't you tell me, then? In the car, at dinner, at the hotel?" Lexa asked, raising her eyebrows. "Why did you lie?"

"I didn't lie... You never asked..."

"I never asked because Raven said you were both single! And you didn't correct her!" Lexa raised her voice.

"You're right, I'm sorry... I was actually going to tell you right after we kissed... Remember on the way to the restaurant when I said that I hadn't been completely honest with you? That's when I wanted to come clean..."

"Why didn't you?"

"I started... And then, when I told you about the note Raven left you, you smiled at me and said that all that mattered was that we liked each other and wanted to spend time together... And I realized that you were right... It was just us there and I was so happy..."

"So it's my fault, then? You didn't tell me because of what I said?" Lexa raised her eyebrows. "Clarke, that was about the note, I had no idea you had a girlfriend!"

"I didn't want to ruin the night, okay?" A tear slid down Clarke's cheek. "I was going to break up with her anyway, so I didn't want her to come between us."

"She didn't come between us, Clarke... Your lies did!"

"Can you honestly say that we would be here now, spending our vacation together in Spain if I had told you about Eva in Paris? Or you would've blown me off?"

"Well, I guess now we'll never know, will we? Because you were selfish and you didn't respect me enough to give me a choice! You made me _the other woman _without my consent, Clarke! I didn't sign up for that."

"You were never the other woman, Lexa... Never! I gave myself to you completely because in my mind I had it clear about what I needed to do and I was able to let you in my heart, because it didn't belong to Eva... It never did!"

They looked at each other with tears coming down their cheeks.

"Lexa, please..." Clarke took a step closer and Lexa raised her hand, making her stop her advances.

"I have to know something..." she said in a calm voice. "Did you only plan to have a one night stand with me? Was it like a once in a lifetime opportunity to have sex with the actress from that show you watch on TV? And what's with the permission that Eva mentioned earlier? Was this a game to you, Clarke? Be honest, please..." she quickly wiped off her tears.

"No! Lexa, no! I swear to you, this was never a game!" Clarke was sad to see that something like that could ever cross Lexa's mind. "I didn't plan anything, I just let myself go with the flow and I simply followed my heart... Being with you... It just felt right... It feels right, Lexa, I know you can feel it..."

"You still haven't answered my question about the permission..." Lexa insisted.

"That's just some stupid thing Eva said before Raven and I went to Paris... We were talking about you and whether or not you were gay... And Eva was saying that you were definitely straight, but if it turned out that she was wrong, then..." Clarke stopped speaking, seeing the sadness on Lexa's face.

"Then she gave you a permission to sleep with me, right? Like a pass... Like when couples make lists of top five famous people they're allowed to have sex with, am I right?" she asked, giving her a sad smile.

"Something like that..." Clarke nodded.

"Great, it's good to know I'm on your top five list! One down, four more to go, right?"

"No! It's not like that! I don't have a list... That was a stupid joke and I never took it seriously... Lexa, you have to believe me..."

"No, Clarke, what I have to do right now is finish packing so I can get away from here," she said as she turned around and continued packing her suitcase.

"Lexa, I'm begging you..." Clarke started crying and hugged Lexa from behind. "Please don't go... Lexa, I love you... I fucked it up, I know, but I never lied about how I feel about you... You know it in your heart..."

Lexa closed her eyes and tilted her head backwards, feeling hurt, disappointed and angry, but still very much in love with Clarke, which made everything even more painful.

"Clarke..." she turned around to face her. "I can't... I'm too hurt, do you understand that? It hurts me to even look at you right now... Thinking about all those times we talked on the phone and these last ten days we spent together here in Spain... And you failed to mention that you broke up with Eva only after you met me? And you didn't even tell her about me... You lied to her and you lied to me..."

"Lexa, please believe me when I say that you were not the reason I broke up with her... I'll admit that it maybe gave me the last push that I needed, because I knew I should've done it a long time ago, but I kept pushing it off... Because I didn't want to face it... Call me a coward, lazy or stupid... But I am not a cheater... I never belonged to her the way I belong to you."

"Did you kiss her or have sex with her after you got back from Paris?" Lexa needed to put her mind at ease.

"No!" Clarke replied hastily. "I could never do that, I swear! I broke up with her the next day after I arrived home... And the reason I didn't tell her about you is not because you didn't matter to me, on the contrary... I wanted to protect you from anyone else finding out and outing you... And if I'm being completely honest, I didn't want to cause Eva more pain than necessary..."

"Okay..." Lexa nodded and wiped her tears off.

"Do you believe me?" Clarke cupped her cheeks with her hands.

"I do... I'm just... Overwhelmed..." Lexa tilted her head down. "I really fell for you, Clarke... And now I feel like everything I thought I knew about you is not true anymore..."

"Lexa, look at me..." she lifted her head up and locked eyes with her. "You know me... you know you do... Nothing has changed... I'm still me..."

"I'm just so confused, Clarke... I don't know anything anymore..." she sighed.

"Do you love me?" Clarke asked.

Lexa looked at her and simply nodded.

"You love me and I love you. That's all that matters, _baby_... We can fix this, please..." she begged.

"I wish it were that simple..." Lexa gave her a subtle smile. "I have to leave... I need to be alone..."

"No, Lexa..."

"Please, Clarke, don't make it harder on me... I promise I'll call you as soon as I'm ready to talk, okay?"

"But it's Sunday... You're flying to Australia on Tuesday..."

"I know... I just need to cool off... I'll call you tomorrow, I promise..."

"Where will you go?" Clarke finally accepted Lexa's decision to leave.

"To the nearest hotel... Could you maybe call me a taxi while I finish packing?"

Clarke nodded, feeling completely defeated and angry with herself, the mere thought of losing Lexa was making her feel empty inside, knowing that if she left, she would be taking her heart with her. She tried not to sob, she didn't want Lexa to stay with her out of pity and she believed her when she said she needed to be alone, so she really wanted to do what was best for Lexa in that moment.

She let go of her and took the phone from the night stand. While Lexa was finishing up packing, Clarke called a taxi and they said they would be there in 10 minutes. She waited in the living room in the meantime, giving Lexa some space to pack her things.

Once she was done, she came to the living room with all of her luggage and they walked out of the apartment in silence. They went down to the parking gate where they saw the taxi already waiting and the taxi driver got out of the car to put Lexa's luggage in the trunk. They confirmed that he spoke English and once he got into the car, it was time to say goodbye.

"Please let me know when you arrive at the hotel... I just need to know you're safe..." Clarke pleaded, trying to contain the tears in her eyes.

"I will..." Lexa was also trying desperately not to cry. "Take care, Clarke..."

"Can I hug you?" Clarke's voice broke, feeling the huge void between them.

"Of course..." Lexa softly smiled at her as tears rolled down her cheeks.

They held each other tight, the lumps in their throats becoming bigger and neither of them could hold back the tears.

Lexa was the first to move away, but only to cup Clarke's cheeks with her hands.

"I will call you before Tuesday, I promise..." she said and pressed a kiss on Clarke's warm lips, tasting her salty tears.

She slightly moved away from her and closed her eyes, leaning with her forehead on hers.

A few seconds later, she got into the taxi and as the car disappeared from Clarke's sight, she started sobbing, feeling an immense pain inside her chest as she was walking towards the building.

When she got to the empty apartment, she felt desperate and was trying to convince herself that it must've been a nightmare, that she would wake up soon and find Lexa sleeping next to her. She closed her eyes tight and once she opened them, she hoped that it would all be over, so she ran to the bedroom only to confirm that Lexa's things were gone, meaning it hadn't been a bad dream.

The only thing that proved that Lexa had been there at all was the t-shirt she had lent her that morning with the smell of Lexa's skin imprinted in the fabric and in her memory. She inhaled the scent of the shirt, thinking of the last moment she saw her wearing it, remembering the sadness and the disappointment written all over her face and it was all her fault.

She screwed up and now Lexa was gone.

She desperately needed someone to tell her that it was not the end and that everything would be alright, so she took her phone and called her best friend.

**Phone call**

_Raven_:  
"Hey, Clarkie... What's up?" Raven answered in a sleepy voice.

_Clarke:_  
"Ray..." Clarke's voice was weak and her breathing heavy.

_Raven:_  
"Clarke? What's the matter?"

_Clarke:_  
"I... I can't..." Clarke could barely speak in between the crying.

_Raven:_  
"Clarke, just... Try to calm down... Tell me what's happening..."

_Clarke:_  
"It's... Lexa..." she managed to say before she burst into tears.


	26. Offline

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now we know what happened between Clarke and Lexa... The story continues from the moment Clarke called Raven...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and I hope you'll like it! <3

"She'll come back, Clarke... You'll see," Raven said as they were sitting on the couch.

Clarke had finally calmed down since her roommate, Octavia and her dog had been with her in the apartment, talking in the living room.

After telling them about the events from that morning, she felt a bit better and a little more hopeful, although she couldn't get the expression of pain and disappointment on Lexa's face out of her mind.

"You didn't see her, Ray... She was so hurt..." Clarke tilted her head down.

"But you love each other..." Octavia joined the conversation. "That's gotta count for something... Right?"

Clarke simply nodded, holding Lexa's shirt in her hands and she gave Octavia a sad smile as she remembered the previous night when Lexa told her she loved her.

"I shouldn't have lied to her..." she sighed. "I messed everything up..."

"Look... That may be true, but hell... It's not like you killed someone, right?" Raven interfered. "You made a mistake, you're human! She'll come back and you'll have wild make-up sex and everything will go back to normal, you'll see," she winked at Clarke and elicited a subtle smile.

"Do you know where she is?" Octavia asked.

"No... She texted me right before you came, letting me know she'd arrived at the hotel... But I don't know which one..." Clarke replied.

"You see? She wrote to you!" Octavia exclaimed.

"Only because I asked her to, when we said goodbye..." Clarke was starting to feel another wave of sadness and hopelessness coming her way. "Listen, I'm just gonna go to my room for a bit... Thank you both for being here... I love you, guys..." she said as she hugged them before she walked away and stroked Maki's head on her way to her bedroom.

"I mean, I know lesbians are big on drama, but don't you think Lexa is overreacting?" Raven said after hearing the bedroom door close. "Sure, yes, Clarke didn't tell her about Eva, but did it really matter? It's not like she cheated on Lexa or anything... Plus, the relationship was already dead when they met... And she dumped her officially the moment she came back, so why all the drama?"

"I guess for Lexa it's not about how Clarke handled things, but she probably feels hurt because she thinks Clarke didn't trust her enough to share all that with her..." Octavia replied. "Not just in Paris, but after... As they were becoming closer... It's like she didn't put all the cards on the table, you know? Lexa probably feels like the game was rigged from the beginning... Plus, she is an actress and her zodiac sign is Cancer, so drama pretty much runs in her veins."

"Wow... I can't believe I had doubts about your sexuality... You're definitely a lesbian!" Raven joked and Octavia gave her a gentle push on the shoulder.

"You're the one to talk!" she laughed. "You took the first plane to New York just because you saw me kissing someone else," Octavia raised her eyebrows, looking at Raven and waiting for her response with a huge smile on her face.

"Touché!" Raven couldn't help but blush as she smiled back at Octavia.

They were looking at each other timidly, aware that the eye contact was becoming more intense and meaningful with each second that went by.

Suddenly the growl coming from Raven's empty stomach interrupted the moment, making them laugh.

"I'm starving!" she complained.

"I can see that, yes!" Octavia smiled. "I only have dog food in my car, sorry..." she joked.

"Sounds delicious, but..." Raven smiled back. "I think I'll check the fridge instead," she gave her a big smile and stood up with the intention of going to the kitchen.

"Good idea," she winked at Raven. "We'll get going then..." Octavia said as she stood up as well and looked at her dog.

"What? Why?" Raven slightly panicked as she stopped walking and turned around to face Octavia. "I mean, aren't you hungry? We could all have lunch together... right?"

"Oh... I just thought... Maybe Clarke wants to be alone or just with you..."

"No no... I think it would be definitely better for her if we're both here... The three of us, actually..." she smiled as she stroked the dog's head. "If you're free, of course..."

"Oh, yeah... I don't have any plans..." Octavia said and noticed Raven's smile grow bigger. "Well, if you're su..."

"I'm sure," Raven interrupted her and they smiled at each other.

"Alright... Let's cook, then!" she said enthusiastically and started walking towards the kitchen.

"You cook?" Raven couldn't hide her surprise as she followed her.

"You sound shocked," Octavia laughed. "I did feed you this morning, remember?"

"My tongue definitely remembers," Raven laughed as they entered the kitchen.

Octavia turned around, a little confused at Raven's comment, but also feeling a tingling in her stomach at the thought of Raven's tongue inside her mouth.

"I burned my tongue, remember?" Raven explained, seeing the confusion in Octavia's eyes, but also noticing her flushed cheeks.

"Oh... Right..." Octavia remembered and gave her an awkward smile, hoping the sudden heat she felt in her body didn't manifest too much on her face.

"You know..." Raven said as she moved closer to her. "It still hurts a little bit..." she bit her lower lip as the distance between them was becoming shorter.

"Yeah?" Octavia's breathing accelerated, her eyes locked on Raven's full lips.

"Uh huh..." Raven nodded, smiling seductively. "Maybe... you could do something to make it better?"

Octavia was unable to contain her desire when the Latina leaned even closer, so she grabbed her by the back of her neck and pulled her into a wet kiss, moaning softly when she felt her warm lips on top of hers. It wasn't long before their tongues started the familiar dance, one trying to dominate the other as the arousal took over their bodies, guiding their hands to all those erogenous zones that were yet to be discovered.

Raven grabbed Octavia's glutes, lifting her slightly and she sat her on the kitchen countertop, standing between her thighs. Octavia wrapped her legs around the Latina's hips, filling the space with sighs and moans as she felt Raven's tongue on her neck. Soon Raven's hands were under Octavia's shirt and on their way to her breasts, which was when she felt she needed to slow things down.

"Wait..." she said as she grabbed Raven by the forearms, stopping her advances.

Raven moved away and looked up at Octavia, both still visibly aroused, trying to catch their breath.

"Sorry... I got carried away..." Raven smiled at her.

"No, it's fine..." Octavia smiled back. "It's just... Um... We should..."

"Yes... Food... Of course..." Raven stepped back and helped her get down from the countertop, holding her by the waist.

They smiled at each other before they opened the fridge, deciding what to cook as they took out most of the ingredients.

"Oh, there's this delicious meal that Clarke makes with eggplants... Do you like eggplants, by the way?" Raven asked.

"I do," Octavia replied. "Is it the one where she cuts them in half and makes like boats filled with chopped eggplants, mushrooms and other vegetables?"

"Yes, that's the one!" Raven said excitedly. "And some grated cheese on top! There's a vegan one in the fridge."

"Great! How many eggplants do we have?"

"Three."

"Perfect, that's six boats!"

They started chopping and about an hour later, they took the food out of the hot oven and served it on the dining table.

"I'll go get her," Raven said and walked towards Clarke's bedroom. "Clarke?" she called her name as she knocked on the door. "May I come in?"

"Yes," she heard Clarke's voice through the door.

"Hey... We made some lunch," she said, entering the room.

Clarke was lying in bed, her eyes red and puffy and she was still holding Lexa's shirt in her arms.

"Oh... I'm not really hungry... Thank you, though..." she declined Raven's offer.

"No way I'm taking no for an answer, nah ah..." Raven insisted. "I cooked and it smells amazing, you have to try it!"

"_You_ cooked?!" Clarke's eyes widened. "I must've fallen asleep, I'm sure this is a dream," she joked.

"I had a little help, but... Yeah, I did!" Raven smiled proudly.

"I wonder what or should I say _who_ got you so inspired," Clarke winked at her.

The change of colour in Raven's cheeks was all the answer she needed.

"Come on, get up!" Raven grabbed her hands and pulled her up. "It's gonna get cold!"

Clarke smiled and followed her friend to the dining room, where Octavia was already waiting for them, the food served on the table.

"Wow, this looks amazing!" Clarke was impressed. "That's it, you're doing the cooking from now on," she winked at Raven.

"Shit..." Raven looked at Octavia, the smile disappearing from her lips. "This just backfired..."

Everyone laughed and they started eating, enjoying the delicious food.

After lunch, Clarke intended to retire to her room again, but Octavia and Raven managed to convince her to watch a film with them on Netflix.

"Did you have fun last night, by the way?" Clarke remembered to ask them as Raven was about to press play.

"Last night...? Um... What do you mean?" Octavia asked nervously.

"Shhhh the film is starting," Raven pressed play, trying to change the subject, seeing how uncomfortable Octavia was.

"Well, pause it, then..." Clarke smiled, sensing that something had definitely happened between them. "How long did you stay at the club?" she asked as she looked first at Raven, who was sitting in the middle and then at Octavia, on the other end of the couch, next to Raven.

"Until closing time, duh..." the Latina replied after she paused the film.

"Oh, really? So, you had fun then, huh?" Clarke insisted, watching them blush at the questions.

"It was nice, yes..." Octavia glanced at her, but looked away when she saw the amused expression on Clarke's face.

"Cool, cool..." she continued. "Did... any of you get lucky?"

"No!" they answered in unisone and looked at each other.

"I mean, we were just dancing..." Raven finally said as Clarke's smile widened.

"Together? Or with other people?" Clarke insisted.

"Dude, what's with the 21 questions?" Raven complained.

"Someone's jumpy... I wonder why," Clarke laughed and seeing Raven avoiding her questions made her so happy, she actually forgot for a quick second about the most awful morning in her life. "By the way, O... thanks for letting Ray sleep at your place..." and just as quickly as it came, the smile left her face the moment she thought of the beautiful moments she shared with Lexa the night before.

"Oh, right... Yeah, sure... No problem at all..." Octavia managed to say before she glanced at Clarke and then at Raven who smiled at her.

Clarke noticed the look between her friends and simply knew that they had made a big step forward in their relationship, which made her sincerely happy for them.

"I'm so happy for you," she said and saw how Raven and Octavia hastily turned towards her, looking surprised and confused. "That you had a great time, I mean..." she winked at them and leaned back on the couch. "Go on, then... Let's watch the film!"

Raven pressed play and smiled at Octavia right before she leaned next to her, almost touching with their shoulders. Octavia smiled back at her and at the obviousness of their 'secret', which she felt glad to see that Clarke had figured out by herself.

In the middle of the film, the sound of the doorbell made Clarke's heart pound hard in her chest, thinking it might be Lexa.

She jumped off the couch and hurried to open the door.

"Oh, Julio... Hi..." she greeted the superintendent as the newfound hope left her body. "Come in."

"Hey, Clarke!" The middle-aged man entered the apartment, noticing the blonde's swollen eyes. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah... Allergies," she lied, faking a smile.

"Ah, yes... My daughter's the same," Julio said as he walked into the living room. "Hello, Raven! Welcome back!"

"Thank you, Julio! It's nice to be back," she stood up and hugged him. "You remember Octavia?"

"Of course, nice to see you," Julio greeted her as well. "So, you've been having problems with the air condition?"

"Yes," Clarke answered. "First it was working fine, but it would just shut down completely out of nowhere... And I would turn it on again, and then the same thing would happen all over again..."

"Yeah, and now it doesn't even work... Like at all..." Raven added.

"Hm... I think I might know what the problem is... I'll look into it," Julio left the tools on the floor and positioned the step ladder under the air condition. "I'm going to have to turn off the electricity, though..."

"Sure," Clarke turned off the TV and Julio continued with his work.

After serving him a glass of juice, the three friends sat on the balcony and talked over drinks.

Clarke was rather absent, checking her phone more often than not, and there was still no incoming message or call from Lexa.

"Why don't you text her?" Octavia interrupted her thoughts.

"Huh?" she looked at her. "Oh, no... I don't want to bother her... She said she needed to be alone..."

"And she _is_ alone... You'd just be letting her know you're thinking about her, that's all..." Octavia made her point.

Clarke shrugged and looked at the phone again, thinking about her friend's words.

About forty minutes later, Julio finished repairing the air condition and Clarke walked him to the door.

"Julio, I um..." she said once they stepped into the hallway. "You know, Eva... I just wanted to tell you that she's no longer welcome here, so... If she ever wants to enter the building, I'd appreciate it if you didn't let her in..."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, I had no idea you'd broken up... I let her in today, she said you were expecting her..." Julio was genuinely sorry.

"She lied... But it's okay... I should've told you..." Clarke gave him a subtle smile.

"Damn... Are you okay, _hija_? Is that the cause of your 'allergies'?" he asked, looking worried and Clarke loved the fatherly attitude he had towards her.

"Oh no... I should've done it a long time ago... Don't worry, I'm fine..." she assured him as he opened the door.

"Good... I never really liked her anyway," he winked at Clarke and walked towards the elevator.

When Clarke went back to the living room, she could see that Raven and Octavia were already on the couch, waiting for her to continue watching the film, with Maki lying next to them on the floor.

She wasn't really in the mood for it, so she excused herself and went to her bedroom, leaving them alone in the living room.

As soon as she entered the room, she checked her phone again, feeling disappointed to discover the status quo.

After a brief internal debate, she decided that it wouldn't be such a bad idea to send Lexa a message, so she opened the chat she had with her and started typing.

** _Text_ ** ** _ message_ **

_Clarke:_  
"There are so many ways to see you, when I merely close my eyes...  
I miss the warmth of your love ❤️"

She sent the text and left the chat open, hoping that Lexa would read her message.

After staring at it for ten minutes straight, Lexa's status was suddenly _online, _and the ticks turned blue. Clarke waited for a reply that never came as Lexa went _offline_ again and stayed like that for the rest of the day.

It was the first time she didn't get an answer from her, and even though Clarke understood it completely, it didn't make it any less painful.

What if she had lost her forever?

She knew Lexa was fragil, but she chose to hide the truth anyway, risking it all. For someone who always insisted on doing the right thing, Clarke sure fucked that one up, and she did it pretty good. Even if Lexa forgave her, she wasn't sure she would be able to forgive herself. She thought it would be quite hypocritical of her, considering she still hadn't forgiven her father for his infidelity. Of course, she was aware it was not the same thing at all, but it was still about lying to the person she loved.

And boy, she really did love her.

Just thinking about not seeing her or talking to her ever again made getting out of bed seem pointless.

How do you go back to a black and white world once you've seen the most magnificent spectrum of colours?

Just seeing her smile warmed up her heart, and to think that she used to be the reason for her happiness... God, what wouldn't she give to be granted the opportunity to make her happy for the rest of her life...

She spent the rest of the afteroon in bed, listening to music and holding on to the shirt Lexa had worn that morning, part of it now soaked in tears.

Raven came to check up on her couple of times, offering her food and unsuccessfully trying to convince her to get out of the room, until Clarke faked to be asleep the last time Raven knocked on her door.

"She's asleep," she said to Octavia who was getting ready to go home.

"Good... She looked exhausted..." she commented on her way to the door.

"You must be tired as well... We didn't get a lot of sleep last night... actually, this morning..." Raven said as she walked her and Maki out.

"True... Unlike you, I didn't fall asleep during the film," she teased Raven.

"I wasn't asleep!" the Latina denied the accusation. "I just closed my eyes for a second, that's all!" she smiled.

"Uh huh, right... Whatever you say," Octavia winked at her and they both laughed.

"Let me know when you get home, okay?"

"Are you sure you won't be asleep by then?" Octavia teased her again.

"Oh, I think I can hold on for five more minutes," she played along. "Plus, I like it better when I'm sleeping next to you..."

Octavia gave her a timid smile as she put her arms around Raven's neck.

"You're quite the charmer, Reyes..." she said, making Raven laugh.

"Oh... You'll be the death of me, I know it..." she pressed her forehead against Octavia's.

"It'll be worth it, though..." Octavia closed her eyes and smiled.

"I have no doubt about that," Raven said as she leaned, leaving a soft kiss on Octavia's lips.

They said their goodbyes and less than ten minutes later, Octavia texted her, letting her know she had arrived home safely.

The next day, Raven checked up on Clarke in the morning and insisted on staying home when she realized her roommate had spent all night awake, watching photos of Lexa and her from their road trip. After a short debate, Clarke managed to convince her to go to work, promising she'd eat the breakfast Raven had prepared for her and that she'd get some sleep.

Clarke kept only half of her promise, eating some of the food, but she was not able to fall asleep. The phone had become a part of her, always making sure the battery was charged and the sound was on, so she wouldn't miss Lexa's text or call.

As the day went on, there was still no sign of Lexa and Clarke looked more and more like a racoon with the dark circles around her eyes, which ironically made her think even more about Lexa. Every time she saw her own reflection in the mirror, she remembered the conversation they had in Paris about Lexa's 'spirit animal' and she was sure she had fallen in love with her smile in the back of that car on their first date.

If she could only go back in time, she would return to that exact moment and she would do it differently, she would do the right thing and Lexa would be still by her side.

Or would she?

Maybe she would've ruined the date by telling the truth and Lexa would've never contacted her again after that night.

"Clarke?? Hello??" Raven waved her hand in front of Clarke's face, interrupting her thoughts.

"What? Sorry..." Clarke was barely paying attention to her roommate who had just arrived home from work.

"I said, I brought chinese food and Octavia is on her way over... She finished work and just stopped home to pick up Maki... They should be here any moment," Raven repeated what she had said earlier.

"Great, yeah..." she nodded and gave her a sad smile.

"Clarke... Did you sleep at all? You look like shit..."

"I can see what Octavia sees in you," Clarke joked. "You have such a way with words," she winked at her.

"Don't change the subject, Griffin! I see what you did there," Raven pointed her index finger at her and walked in the direction of the kitchen.

"Oh, she's smart too!" Clarke continued teasing her. "Octavia really hit the jackpot!"

"I'm gonna let that one slide, because you're feeling down and bantering me about Octavia seems to be cheering you up," Raven said as she brought some plates and cutlery from the kitchen, laying them on the dining table. "So... Have at it, then... I'm ready," she smiled and stood in front of Clarke.

"What's actually cheering me up is seeing that you've both finally stopped being stubborn," Clarke said, surprising Raven who was expecting another witty remark from the blonde. "Honestly, I'm glad I'm no longer in the middle, promising you not to say anything to Octavia and promising her not to say anything to you... It was killing me!"

"What? She... She said something about me? When?" Raven's lips curled into a big smile.

Their conversation was interrupted by the doorbell, which they assumed was probably Octavia.

"Saved by the doorbell!" Raven said on her way to the intercom. "But we'll continue this later!"

"Oh, no no, ask your girlfriend, my lips are sealed," Clarke stuck her tongue out at her roommate.

"Hello?" Raven answered the intercom.

"It's me..." Octavia spoke.

"She's not my girlfriend..." Raven said after buzzing Octavia in, feeling the heat in her cheeks.

"Uh huh," Clarke hummed sarcastically and smiled at her friend.

Moments later, Octavia joined them and Clarke witnessed the slightly awkward moment when her friends were figuring out how to greet each other. They decided to go with a peck on the corner of the mouth, blushing in the act and making Clarke chuckle.

"Whoa, Clarke... Did you get any sleep at all? You look worn out..." Octavia expressed her concern after hugging Clarke.

"See, Ray? There are so many more eloquent ways to say 'you look like shit'," Clarke joked. "You should be more like your girlfriend."

"What? Um..." Octavia widened her eyes and turned to Raven who was standing behind her, threatening to kill Clarke with her eyes.

"Don't mind her," she said to Octavia. "She thinks she's funny, but it's how she avoids answering our questions... I'm onto you, Griffin!" she squinted, looking at Clarke and making her laugh. "Let's eat, I'm starving."

"I'll stop, I'm sorry..." Clarke smiled at them and sat on one of the dining chairs. "Thank you for the food... And I'm sorry for not hanging out with you more..." she said, her eyes tearing up.

"Hey... It's ok... It's understandable..." Octavia held her hand, smiling at her gently.

"Yeah, Clarkie, don't worry about it..." Raven added. "And I can take all the jokes, really... I prefer that to seeing you this sad..."

"Oh, you can count on them," Clarke smiled and wiped the tears off her cheeks. "You'll finally get a taste of your own medicine... Remember your comment about Hercules in front of Lexa?"

She regretted it as she said it, because the moment Lexa's name left her lips, she felt a sharp pain in her chest, squeezing the air out of her lungs.

"Yeah... Sorry about that," Raven smiled nervously. "Let's eat!"

Clarke barely participated in the conversation and could only digest a few bites due to the tense feeling in her stomach, so she was relieved when her phone started ringing.

Her heart almost stopped when she saw Lexa's name on the screen. She quickly glanced at Raven and Octavia before grabbing the phone and answered it on her way to the balcony, almost running.

_ **Phone** _ _ ** call** _

_Clarke:_  
"Lexa... Hi..." she managed to say while panting.

_Lexa:_  
"Hey... Did I catch you in a bad time?"

_Clarke:_  
"No no, not at all... I'm glad you called..."

_Lexa:_  
"I got your message..."

_Clarke:_  
"Oh... Yeah, sorry about that... I didn't mean to bother you, I just..."

_Lexa:_  
"You didn't bother me... It was beautiful..."

_Clarke:_  
"Oh, good... That's good..." Clarke was relieved. "How are you?"

_Lexa:_  
"I'm... I don't know... A little better, I guess... You?"

_Clarke:_  
"I'm glad you're doing better..." she smiled. "I'm... I miss you, Lexa..."

_Lexa:_  
"I miss you too..."

_Clarke:_  
"Could we meet? Please? I really need to see you, _ba_... Lex, please..."

_Lexa:_  
"That's why I'm calling, actually... I want to see you too..."

_Clarke:_  
"You do?" Clarke's voice cracked as a tear slid down her cheek.

_Lexa:_  
"Of course..." Lexa smiled. "I thought I could stop by tonight, if that's alright with you... and Raven..."

_Clarke:_  
"Yes, yes! That's perfect!" Clarke was excited. "And I'm sure Raven will be more than happy to spend the night at Octavia's again..."

_Lexa:_  
"Oh... Did I miss something?" she smiled.

_Clarke:_  
"Well... I don't know all the details, but... they seem pretty cozy," she smiled when she heard Lexa laugh on the other side.

Damn, she missed that laugh.

_Lexa:_  
"I'm happy for them..." she said. "They make a great couple..."

_Clarke:_  
"Me too..." Clarke agreed. "Lexa..."

_Lexa:_  
"Yeah?"

_Clarke:_  
"I can't wait to see you..."

_Lexa:_  
"Me too..." Lexa admitted. "Is 8 pm ok?"

_Clarke:_  
"Yes, that's great... Should I pick you up? Text me the address?"

_Lexa:_  
"Oh, no no... I'll grab a taxi," she declined.

_Clarke:_  
"You sure? It's not a problem, really..."

_Lexa:_  
"Positive... I'll see you at 8..."

_Clarke:_  
"Yes... See you soon."

_Lexa:_  
"Bye, Clarke."

_Clarke:_  
"Bye, Lexa."

Clarke went back inside with a huge smile on her face, still in shock, not completely aware of what had just happened.

"You see? Told you she'd call," Raven was glad to see her friend smiling.

"She's coming over!!" Clarke exclaimed, almost shaking of excitement.

"That's great!" Octavia smiled at her. "You can talk and fix everything..."

"I don't think they'll be doing a lot of talking, O..." Raven winked at her.

"I'll do whatever she wants, really... I'm just thrilled I get to see her again..." Clarke said. "I can't believe she called... I have to get ready!"

"What time she'll be here?" Raven asked.

"8 pm!" Clarke answered on her way to the bedroom.

"It's only 5:30 pm now! You have time!" Octavia shouted.

"I have to shower and wash my hair!" Clarke shouted back.

"I guess I'll give them some privacy, then..." Raven commented. "Maybe you'd like to go out, grab a drink? Keep me company?" she asked Octavia.

"Sure," Octavia agreed. "And you can crash at my place after, if you'd like... Let them have the flat for themselves tonight..."

"Yeah? You sure?" Raven wanted to make sure Octavia didn't feel obligated to invite her over.

"Of course!" Octavia assured her, smiling. "You can take your car and grab some clothes for tomorrow, so you can go directly to work from there..."

"That would be actually perfect... Thank you," Raven smiled at her. "Hey, Clarke, I'm sleeping at Octavia's tonight so you'll have the place to yourself, ok?" she shouted, seeing Clarke was about to enter the bathroom.

"That's great, thank you, Ray! Thank you, O! I really appreciate it!" she shouted back before she closed the bathroom door. "Oh..." she opened the door again, leaning. "Don't forget to use protection!" she laughed and locked the bathroom door.

"And that's how she thanks me," Raven laughed, looking at Octavia.

"Well, payback is a bitch," Octavia laughed as well, but at the same time Clarke's words made her strangely nervous, wondering if maybe Raven was expecting that they'd take the next step that night.

Fifteen minutes before 8 pm, Raven, Octavia and the dog left, leaving Clarke alone in the apartment. She had cleaned herself up pretty good, looking fresh in a white cotton kaftan beach dress with her blonde hair covering her shoulders. She had put on just a little bit of concealer and foundation around her eyes to cover up the dark circles, as well as tinted lip balm that made her lips look slightly reddish.

Not long after that, Lexa rang the doorbell.

After buzzing her in, Clarke waited impatiently by the open door, her heart nearly exploding inside her chest when she saw Lexa coming out of the elevator and walking towards her.

She was wearing the same blue floral dress she wore at the San Diego Comic Con, looking even better in it now that she was tanned.

Lexa also scanned her as she was approaching and once she was in her near proximity, Clarke could clearly see the desire coming through the dilated pupils, her breathing fast and shallow as if she had ran up ten flights of stairs.

"I missed your face..." she said before she cupped Clarke's cheeks with her hands.

"I missed yours... I missed all of you..." Clarke said as she grabbed her by the waist.

Lexa didn't waste another second, she hastily cut the distance between them, pressing her lips on Clarke's and invading her mouth with her tongue as soon as the blonde's lips parted, giving her permission to devour her.

They walked into the apartment without interrupting the kiss, as if their lips were glued together, until Lexa took off Clarke's dress over her head halfway to the bedroom.

"You're so fucking gorgeous, _baby_..." she said, taking a thorough look at her semi-naked body before she attacked her neck with her teeth.

The mixture of pleasure and slight pain due to the sharpness of her teeth made Clarke weak at the knees, releasing a loud moan as she held onto Lexa, who even though seemed a bit more agressive than usual, still made sure to soothe the bites gently with her tongue.

"I love you so much," Clarke whispered in her ear, giving her goosebumps with her sexy, raspy voice.

Lexa stopped what she was doing and moved away just enough to find Clarke's eyes, looking for her favourite blue around the big, black pupils.

"I love you too... So much..." Lexa said as a tear dropped down her cheek the moment she mashed her lips hungrily against Clarke's.

Clarke gave in completely, letting be taken away by the moment of passion and love, the kind of love she didn't believe could actually exist before she met Lexa.

They had the whole night to express their love in every possible way and whatever they had to say to each other, they could do it in the morning.

Or at least that was what she thought.


	27. Premature

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The story continues... it's Clexa's last night before Lexa's departure the following day.  
Octavia and Raven have another sleepover and things get a little awkward...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everyone! 
> 
> Thank you for keeping up with my story, I hope you'll enjoy this chapter... and as always, your comments are more than welcome <3

Lexa's perky breasts were bouncing up and down as she was grinding, rubbing her wet pussy with Clarke's and rotating around her clitoris with her hips. Clarke placed her hands on Lexa's hipbones and pulled her closer as they were both approaching the climax of their pleasure.

They hadn't left the bed ever since Lexa took Clarke to the bedroom after showing up on her doorstep.

The first couple of orgasms of the night came shortly after their naked bodies fell on the soft sheets, unable to contain the desire building up inside them since the moment their lips touched, reminding them what they had been missing.

For the last one they took their time to adore each other, tracing invisible lines on their skin with their fingers, eliciting all kinds of new sensations and letting them roam through their bodies.

Just when Clarke thought she knew all the spots where Lexa liked to be touched, her tongue would accidentally discover a whole new sensitive zone that would make her girl curl her toes as she screamed her name, encouraging her to continue. And just when Lexa thought that she had seen all the ways the orgasms could take over Clarke's body, the blonde would surprise her with a new twitch or sound, making it a unique experience for her.

That night their bodies seemed to be even more synchronized than usual as they came simultaneously with Lexa on top of Clarke, managing to achieve enough friction between their sexes inspite of the abundant wetness.

Lexa fell exhausted and sweaty on top of Clarke and stayed still, hiding her face in the crook of the blonde's neck.

"I love when you're on top of me," Clarke said softly while fondling the moist skin on Lexa's back.

"Mmm... I have the most comfortable cushions in the world," Lexa slid her body down and rested her head on Clarke's breasts, after leaving a few gentle kisses on each one.

Clarke smiled and ran her fingers through Lexa's wavy hair.

"Would you like something to drink? Or eat?" Clarke offered.

"Maybe in a bit..." she said quietly. "What time is it?"

Clarke reached over to the nightstand, making the smallest possible movement to grab her watch, trying not to move away from Lexa, who was still lying on top of her, resting her head between her breasts.

"It's 10:30 pm," Clarke replied after picking up the watch and looking at it.

"Oh wow... We've been doing it for two and a half hours!" Lexa exclaimed as she lifted her head up to look at Clarke.

"It's not our record, though..." Clarke smiled at her.

"Paris?" Lexa asked and saw the blonde nod at her. "You sure?"

"Yes... I remember looking at the alarm clock on the nightstand when we were done and it was 3:30 am..."

"And we came back to the hotel between 11:30 pm and midnight, right after the fireworks, didn't we?"

"We did, yes..." Clarke confirmed. "That's about three and a half hours of pure passion."

Lexa laughed and moved her body up until she reached Clarke's lips.

"I'm going to miss this..." she said after the short make out session.

"I don't want you to go..." Clarke replied after a short pause, her voice slightly shaking.

"Clarke..."

"I know..." Clarke moved Lexa's hair away from her face and cupped her cheeks with her hands. "I know you have to go... I just don't want you to..."

Lexa leaned into a kiss, feeling Clarke's tears on her lips.

"Clarke..." she whispered as she wiped off her tears with her hand. "Please..."

"I'm sorry..." Clarke smiled through the sadness. "I'm just so glad you're here... Thank you for coming back to me..."

"Of course I came back..." Lexa smiled gently at her. "I couldn't leave without saying goodbye."

"What time is your flight tomorrow?"

"I'll tell you what... How about we don't think about tomorrow?" Lexa sat up, straddling Clarke. "I say we get something to eat and drink... We're going to need some fuel if we want to break that record of ours," she winked at her.

Clarke agreed and they went to the kitchen to have some leftovers of the chinese food Raven had brought home that afternoon.

After the late dinner, they brushed their teeth and took a quick shower before they made love again, until they were completely worn out. Clarke struggled to keep her eyes open, which resulted impossible as the extreme tiredness took over her due to the lack of sleep the night before.

Their sex marathon record remained undefeated as Clarke fell asleep, feeling safe and loved in Lexa's arms.

* * *

The night went a little bit different for Raven and Octavia, who had decided not to go out for drinks, as they had originally planned. Instead, they had drinks and some snacks at Octavia's place, talking and enjoying their night together on the balcony.

"Do you think they'll work things out?" Octavia asked as she took a sip of her beer.

"I hope so... I've never seen Clarke so in love before," Raven replied. "Have you... Have you ever been in love?"

"Khm..." Octavia cleared her throat, the question taking her by surprise. X  
"Ummm... I don't... I'm not really sure, actually..."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry..." Raven apologized, noticing Octavia's discomfort.

"Oh, no no... It's not that... I just haven't really thought about it, you know... I think I've always been avoiding it, first burying myself in books and now in work..."

"It?" Raven inquired.

"Love," Octavia gave her a subtle smile.

"Ah... You weren't dating a lot when you were in med school, then?"

"I had a boyfriend, actually..."

"Really?" Raven was intrigued.

"Yes... His name was Fran and we dated for three years," she answered.

"Oh wow... I didn't know that... What happened, if you don't mind me asking?"

"It just didn't work out... I cared about him, but I don't think I ever felt what you're supposed to feel for the person you're in relationship with..." Octavia explained.

"I see..." Raven nodded and took a sip of her beer before continuing with the conversation. "No other relationships after that?"

"Nope... Only some insignificant flings," she replied. "What about you? I mean, after Anya..."

"Same here... Just that one relationship," Raven took another sip of the beer, finishing it.

"Another one?" Octavia offered when she noticed the empty bottle in Raven's hand.

"Are you going to have one as well?"

"Sure," Octavia took the bottle to her lips and drank until there was no more beer left in it. "Two is my limit during workweek," she winked at Raven on her way to the kitchen.

In the next hours they talked more about their likes and dislikes, getting to know each other better and they even talked about their families. They learned that both of them grew up as an only child and they had a good relationship with their parents. They shared the same taste in music, as well as movies, leaning towards the action genre, preferably with a female lead.

"I think I could watch _Wonder Woman_ at least once a month for the rest of my life," Raven said as they were entering the living room, holding the empty plates and bottles in their hands.

"Oh, I have no doubt about that," Octavia laughed. "And I bet you wouldn't mind getting lost at sea and ending up on _Themyscira_ with all those sexy Amazon women."

"Would _you_?" Raven laughed as well.

"Can't say that I would," Octavia replied with a smile on her face as she was leaving the dirty dishes in the sink.

While Raven was in the bathroom, Octavia opened the sofa bed and put on the fresh fitted sheets neatly before going back to her bedroom to grab a pillow and a light weight cotton blanket.

On her way back to the living room, she ran into Raven who was getting out of the bathroom and she couldn't help but notice the surprise on the Latina's face seeing her holding the pillow and the blanket.

Octavia smiled at her as they walked into the living room together.

"I made your bed," she said as she laid the bedding on the sofa.

"I see that, yes... Thank you," Raven smiled awkwardly.

"No problem," Octavia was trying to ignore the weird tension between them, giving her a polite smile. "I'll go to the bathroom and let you get changed..."

Raven watched her walk away and couldn't help but feel a bit confused about Octavia's behaviour. She wondered if she had read the signals wrong, because in her mind she was pretty certain Octavia wanted to sleep with her. The attraction between them was undeniable, and even more so now that they had confessed their feelings to one another.

So why was Octavia so eager to cut the night short?

Maybe she was waiting for her to make the first step?

Perhaps she made the sofa bed to give her a choice instead of just assuming that they would sleep together in the bedroom?

She changed into a big, white T-shirt she used for sleeping and sat down, waiting for Octavia to come back.

A few moments later, Octavia entered the living room, wearing a mid-thigh dark grey cotton nightdress, with thin straps and white lace material in the chest area.

"Do you have everything you need?" she asked, well aware of Raven's wandering eyes.

"Almost..." Raven looked her in the eye as she stood up and approached her, smiling.

Octavia couldn't help but notice Raven's toned legs, yearning to feel her dark, tight skin with her fingertips.

Once she was close enough, the Latina placed her hands on Octavia's waist and leaned in.

"I was hoping for a goodnight kiss..." she said softly, making Octavia smile.

She entwined her fingers behind Raven's neck and pulled her into a kiss that started out gentle and slow, the intensity increasing as she felt the Latina's warm tongue inside her mouth and her hands on her lower back, pulling her closer.

The endorphins rushed through her body, needing more of Raven's touch, scent and warmth, letting herself be taken away into a whole new world of pleasure the Latina was opening up for her.

Octavia was not even aware at what point they had managed to move to the sofa bed as she was too busy enjoying how Raven's weight felt on top of her. She tilted her head back the moment her warm, wet lips started leaving a trail of kisses down Octavia's neck all the way to her collar bone as her hand moved in the opposite direction up the outer side of her thigh.

The sighs filled the room when Raven's hand found its way under Octavia's nightdress, feeling her soft skin as she moved up her flank towards her breast. She hesitated for a moment, remembering Octavia's reaction the first time she tried to touch her there, but the increasing volume of the sounds of pleasure leaving the latter's throat was exactly the confirmation she needed before she grabbed her breast, feeling her hard nipple under her palm.

Raven moved her head up and pressed her lips on Octavia's, silencing her moans by pushing her tongue inside her mouth as she teased her nipple with her thumb.

Octavia spread her legs, making room for Raven to position her hips between her thighs, feeling the warmth of her sex as she increased the pressure and moved up and down while on top of her.

Their lips separated, panting and their eyes met for a quick second before Raven moved away just enough to pull Octavia's nightdress up and over her head. She sat up, with her legs around Octavia's thigh and took a good look at her naked torso.

"You're gorgeous..." Raven said with lust in her eyes and proceded to take off her own shirt, pulling it over her head and then threw it on the floor.

Octavia bit her lower lip at the same time she scanned Raven's toned upper body, from her tense abs and the well defined curves of her waist, all the way to her firm, athletic breasts. Raven smiled as she took Octavia's hand and placed it on her own breast, seeing how the latter's lips parted when she cupped it with the palm of her hand.

The latina grinded on Octavia's thigh, leaving evidence of her arousal through her soaked panties before lying on top of her and finding her lips again as she pressed her thigh on Octavia's centre of pleasure.

Couple of thrusts later, Octavia squeezed Raven's thigh between her legs and released a suffocated moan as an unexpected orgasm went through her body like electricity, suprising both of them.

"Did you just...?" Raven asked as she moved her lips away from hers.

"Shit... I'm sorry..." Octavia put her hands across her face, covering her eyes in shame.

"Hey..." Raven smiled and grabbed Octavia's hands, removing them from her face. "Look at me..."

Octavia finally opened her eyes, finding her favorite brown gazing at her with so much warmth and understanding.

"I don't understand why you're apologizing," she continued. "I feel flattered, actually..." she said and saw Octavia's lips curl into a smile. "Plus, the night is long...right?"

Octavia gave her a quick peck on the lips before replying.

"Actually... It's getting pretty late... I have to wake up at 6:30 am..."

"Whoa, that early? Don't you start working at 8 am?" Raven was surprised.

"Yes, but I have to take Maki out for a walk first... And take a shower as well..." she explained.

"Right, I forgot about the big fella," Raven smiled as she lay next to Octavia. "We should go to sleep, then..."

"Yeah..." Octavia turned on her side to face Raven. "Should we go to the bedroom? Or would you rather stay here?" she asked timidly.

"Whatever you prefer," Raven smiled gently. "As long as I'm sleeping next to you..."

Octavia smiled, stroking Raven's cheek as she pressed her lips on hers before she put her arm around her waist and laid her head on her shoulder.

* * *

The next morning, Lexa was lying next to Clarke in the early hours, watching her sleep peacefully and wondering how she would ever get used to waking up without her by her side.

She had noticed the dark circles around Clarke's eyes the night before when they took a shower together and the water washed off the make-up she had used to conceal them. It was clear to her that just like herself, Clarke must've also had a really hard time sleeping the night that they were apart. But despite all the tiredness that was still visible on the blonde's face, Lexa could swear that she was looking at perfection itself, so she soaked up every detail, storing it in her brain and that way she could revisit that memory whenever she needed to feel close to her.

It was a good thing Clarke's eyes were closed, otherwise Lexa knew that it would've been a complete torture to have to say goodbye with those big, beautiful ocean blue eyes staring at her.

Her hand reached toward the strand of blonde hair covering Clarke's face and put it carefully behind her ear before she leaned to give her a kiss goodbye.

Clarke made a small movement, followed by the cutest noice, acknowledging the touch of Lexa's lips, without actually waking up.

Lexa reluctantly got out of the bed and looked for her clothes and her purse around the room. She quickly put on her dress without making any noice and took a white envelope out of her purse, leaving it on the nightstand before she took one last look at the love of her life who was profoundly asleep.

The tears started leaving her eyes and a heavy feeling spread into her chest, consuming her with each step she took away from Clarke in the direction of the front door.  
  


* * *

  
  


About three and a half hours later, Clarke started waking up and moved around the bed hoping to feel Lexa's warmth. When she realized the brunette wasn't there, she called her name a few times before she got out of bed and went in search for her.

The bathroom door was wide open and the living room empty, as well as the balcony, and by the time she got to the kitchen, she could already feel her heart pounding hard and nearly left her chest when she came to the painful realization that Lexa was gone.

She found her phone on the dining table and quickly checked it for messages, but there was still no sign of Lexa.

Was is possible that she had left just like that, without saying a word? Clarke knew that Lexa was still not over what happened on Sunday, but she never expected something quite so cruel of her. Depriving her of the chance to say goodbye would be the biggest punishment of them all and Clarke couldn't believe Lexa would be capable of doing that to her without an explanation.

And that was when she started worrying that something bad might've happened and she'd had to leave immediately.

But, why not wake her up then?

It didn't make any sense...

Or at least leave a note?

As soon as that last thought crossed her mind, Clarke ran back to the bedroom and looked around until a white envelope on the nightstand caught her eye. She read her own name on the front, written in Lexa's handwriting and sat down on the bed before she proceeded to open it and started reading.  
  


_Clarke, my love..._

_Please don't be mad at me for leaving without saying goodbye in the morning. I hope after reading this letter you'll understand why I had to do it... or maybe you'll just think I'm way too dramatic, which I can be sometimes, I'll admit to that... _

_It is Monday afternoon, and I started writing this right after we spoke on the phone, so forgive me if my handwriting is a bit shaky... the fact is, my whole body is still quivering... And that's the effect you have on me just by hearing your voice, so imagine how intensly my body reacts to you when you're actually near me._

_I know it might sound as a cliché, but I have never been so in love before... you turned my world upside down and changed everything I thought I knew about love._

_Isn't it funny, though? You were my first crush and here I am, 12 years later and I'm crushing on you all over again. _

_I can honestly say that the last two weeks and the whole month in general, since we met in Paris, have been the best days of my life. With the exception of Sunday morning, of course, which came as an unpleasant surprise and I must admit it pretty much shook me to the core... I know you're worried, wondering if I'll ever be able to forgive you for not telling me the whole truth, but let me explain something to you... For me it was never about forgiveness, in fact, I have already forgiven you. How could I not? I saw the regret in your eyes and I know that whatever you did, it was never with the intention of hurting me. But you did hurt me, and it wasn't because it happened the way it did, but because I really thought you were being 100% honest with me as I have been with you._

_What I'm trying to say is... I suppose it is a trust issue. Usually it takes a lot of time for me to trust someone completely, I'm not even sure I have ever come to that point with anyone before. And with you it just came naturally, you made it so easy for me to trust you... I felt as if I had always known you, like I could see through your eyes and into your soul where I found pure perfection. Because to me, Clarke, you were perfect. And you still are. Of course, you didn't handle the situation perfectly, but there is nothing you could possibly do that would change my mind about you. _

_We just fit together, like two pieces of a puzzle and I would be stupid to let you go just like that. What we have is so special and rare and I've never felt more loved in my entire life._

_However... I'm still hurting. I'm not pushing you away, I'm just asking for a little bit of patience so I can process everything and be completely myself around you again. I don't know if this makes any sense to you... All I know is that I love you and I don't want to lose you. I just think we should slow things down a bit, so I can catch up with the new developments and to start feeling better about it. I want to keep in touch with you and I definitely want to see you again... I just need some time..._

_Try not to feel bad about not taking me to the airport, I'm not trying to punish you or anything like that... I just know that if you're there, I won't be able to let go of you and get on the plane... Plus, I wouldn't like your last memory of me in Spain to be with red puffy eyes, crying in your face and giving you salty kisses. We've shed enough tears as it is, wouldn't you say?_

_I want to remember you lying in bed, sleeping in my arms (preferably naked), enjoying your warmth and the softness of your skin before I leave, with the taste of your lips on mine as I kiss you goodbye. Call me selfish, but that is the picture I want to take with me and cherish it until we see each other again. And we will, I know it in my heart. _

_May we meet again._

_Yours,_

_Lexa_   
  


Clarke carefully folded the letter and put it back in the envelope before her tears could fall on it and smudge the ink.

She sat there for a while, thinking about Lexa's words and even though she had the urge to get on the motorcycle and go after her, she knew that she needed to respect her wishes. It was the right thing to do, even if it broke her heart.

After crying her eyes out, she finally managed to get out of bed and went to the dining room where she found her phone. She quickly checked all of the outgoing flights to Sydney, but it was impossible to know which one was Lexa's.

She decided to try her luck and opened the chat to see if she was online. It was 9:30 am and Lexa's last connection was less than an hour ago.

_"Maybe she's still in Marbella"_, she thought and rushed to send her a message.  
  


**Text** ** message**

_Clarke:_  
"Good morning... I just read your letter. Are you still here?"

There was only one tick after sending the message, which meant the message was not delivered as Lexa was probably offline.

She continued typing anyway.  
  


**Text** ** message**

_Clarke:_  
"I respect your decision to leave the way you did, I really do... but I didn't get to say goodbye and it's breaking my heart. Sleep has now become my biggest enemy, because if I hadn't fallen asleep I could've kissed you one more time and I could've told you that I love you too and that I would wait as long as it takes for you to start trusting me again... Because you are the one for me and I promise I will never hide anything from you again. Take your time, _love_... I'm not going anywhere.   
Just let me know when you arrive, please... I need to know you're safe 😘"

After sending the message, she didn't feel like doing anything and she didn't want to shower either, because she was sure she could still feel Lexa's scent on her skin and wanted to hold on to that as long as possible. She went back to bed and buried her face in Lexa's pillow, absorbing the fruity aroma of her hair that she had left behind.

Not long after, sleep won the battle again and she couldn't help but close her eyelids that felt extremely heavy and swollen.

The sound of an incoming message woke her up few hours later and she was thrilled to see that it was from her favourite person in the world.  
  


**Text** ** message**

_Lexa:_  
"I know, _love_... I know... And believe me when I say that it was the hardest thing I ever had to do.  
Thank you for understanding and thank you for giving me the best vacation of my life, I enjoyed every second with you...   
Oh, I hope you don't mind... I kind of 'borrowed' your Captain America T-shirt this morning 🤭 You'll probably think I'm weird, but it smells like you and I wasn't ready to give that up just yet... Now I'm carrying it around in my bag so I can sniff it whenever I want, like a crazy person... 😳  
Anyway... I'm in London, waiting for Val to pick me up at the airport, I have 6 hours before my flight to Singapore. I'll text you when I get there, it'll be another hour and a half of waiting for my flight to Sydney 😘"

Reading Lexa's text warmed up her heart and put a big smile on her face as she rushed to write her back.

**Text** ** message**

_Clarke:_  
"I fell asleep sniffing your pillow and the t-shirt you wore on Sunday is basically my new sleeping buddy, so... How's that for weird? 🤭  
Thanks for letting me know you arrived and thank you for making me the happiest I've ever been ❤️  
According to my calculations and my extensive google search, you should be arriving to Sydney tomorrow around 4 pm my time, which would actually be 2 am on Thursday (Sydney time), correct? 😎   
Have a great time in London! 😘"

The ticks turned blue and the response came almost immediately.

**Text** ** message**

_Lexa:_  
"Wow! I'm impressed! 👏🏼 You did your homework and somehow managed to not make it look stalkerish at all! 😛 Thank you 😊 have a great day and try to get some more sleep... Even though you make even dark circles around your eyes look sexy, I still prefer to see you well rested 😘"

_Clarke:_  
"Yes, Commander 😏😘"

She laid the phone down on the nightstand, feeling relieved to see that the communication between them seemed to be working well and for the first time after that terrible Sunday morning, Clarke felt hopeful and excited about her future, which she now knew Lexa would definitely form part of.


	28. The Art of Lesbian Lovemaking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first days after Lexa went home...  
Octaven.  
Dramaaaa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!  
I just wanted to wish you Happy holidays and to leave this chapter for you in case you were in need of some Clexa and Octaven moments :P
> 
> Let me know what you thought of it, I'm always happy to hear from you :)
> 
> S.

It was a little after 8:30 pm when Octavia came to Clarke's apartment, about an hour after Raven had gone to the gym. Other than to try and cheer up Clarke, the reason for her visit was a bit of a delicate subject she needed to discuss with her and ask for an advice.

"Here you go," Clarke said as she put the beer in front of Octavia and sat down across from her at the table on the balcony.

"Thanks," Octavia grabbed the bottle and took a sip. "So... You said Lexa texted you from London?"

"Yeah... She met with her friend while she was waiting for her next flight. Now she's already on her way to Singapore... She texted me again right before she got on the plane," Clarke replied and took a sip of her beer.

"Damn... That's going to be a long flight..."

"Thirteen hours... And then almost eight more to Sydney."

"Holy shit... She's going to be travelling all day!" Octavia exclaimed.

"Pretty much, yeah... thirty hours all together give or take..." Clarke confirmed.

"She'll probably sleep through it all, though... I assume she didn't get a lot of sleep last night?" Octavia took another sip as she winked at her friend.

"You could say that, yeah..." Clarke smiled and could feel her cheeks blush as she remembered her last night with Lexa.

"Speaking of it..." Octavia was trying to find the best way to open the subject.

"Speaking of what exactly?" Clarke was a bit confused, noticing the hesitation in Octavia.

"Well... You know... Sex..." she managed to say, looking quite tense and uncomfortable.

"Oh..." Clarke smiled, sensing the direction the conversation was about to take. "Did you and Raven...?"

"Um... We... I mean... "Octavia's cheeks were flushed as she was trying to find the right words. "Damn it, I feel like a teenager!" she sighed frustrated, making Clarke laugh.

"It's ok, O... It's normal," Clarke tried to calm her down. "Would you like to talk about what happened?"

"I think I need help..." she said before she took another sip of her beer.

"Alright... What can I do?"

"I suppose you could tell me how to... Well... You know..." Octavia was struggling to continue the conversation.

"Umm..." Clarke was not sure she understood what her friend needed from her. "How to... what? You're gonna have to be more specific, I'm afraid..."

"How to do it!" Octavia decided to cut to the chase. "I don't want to make a fool out of myself..."

"Okay, wait a second... Let me get this straight... You're nervous because you haven't had sex with a woman before or because it's Raven?"

"Well, both I guess..."

"Alright... What have you done so far?" Clarke asked.

"Um... Shit, this is so embarrassing," Octavia covered her face with her hands.

"Hey, O... It's just me... Look at me," Clarke smiled gently at Octavia as she removed her hands from her face, allowing their eyes to meet. "It's normal that you're nervous... We'll figure this out, just talk to me, ok?"

"Ugh... I guess," Octavia smiled back. "Ok, so... Last night we started kissing and then she was on top of me... And next thing I know we're topless and I can feel her... Well, you know... On my thigh, through her underwear..."

"How did that make you feel?"

"How do you think?" Octavia laughed.

"Okay okay, just checking," Clarke laughed as well. "So, you were turned on... And then?"

"And then she took my hand and placed it on her breast..." Octavia's face was all shades of red. "It felt amazing, so much that when she leaned over with her thigh between my legs and she kind of rubbed my..."

"Clit?" Clarke smiled. "Come on, O... You're a doctor, it's anatomy..."

"Fiiiine..." she rolled her eyes at her friend. "She rubbed my clit with her thigh and I came! Clarke, I came just like that! In like... 10 seconds, I swear..."

"O, that's..." Clarke smiled softly. "There's nothing wrong with that... It just shows how much you're into her... I'm sure she was flattered."

"That's exactly what she said!" Octavia was surprised to hear that from her friend.

"See?" Clarke winked at her and took a sip. "So, what happened next?"

"Nothing... She wanted to continue but I panicked and said I needed to wake up early, so we went to sleep."

"Okay, I think I understand... It was an intense experience, right? She turns you on so much that you had an orgasm with just a few strokes, and now you're worried that you won't know what to do next time you do it? You're afraid you won't be able to satisfy her, am I right?" Clarke took a guess.

"Exactly!" Octavia confirmed her friend's theory. "Clarke, she's so experienced, she's been with a lot of girls and I've no idea what to do! With guys it's easy, I've never had to make an effort, they basically like whatever you do, they'll come anyway, even if you're just lying still..."

"Alright, alright... Spare me the details," Clarke wrinkled her nose and lowered her brows, expressing her disgust. "You know I can't digest heterosexual sex, and it especially doesn't mix well with beer."

"Sorry," Octavia laughed. "My point is... I don't want to fuck it up, you know?" she sighed.

"Look, O..." Clarke held her hand and looked her in the eye. "When two people like each other as much as you and Raven do, it all just comes naturally. It doesn't matter if you're experienced or not, you just have to relax and let your body respond to the stimuli. Just do whatever feels good for you and also for her, explore, let her guide you as well, pay attention to the way her body reacts and you'll soon discover what she likes and how she likes it... For her it will also feel like her first time, because it will be her first time with _you_... Even if she's been with a hundred women before you, it won't matter, because maybe whatever worked for them doesn't work for you and vice versa... You know what I mean?"

"I do..." Octavia smiled, calmed by her friend's words. "Thank you, Clarke... I feel a lot better..."

"I'm glad I could help," she smiled back and finished her beer. "I'm going to grab another one. Are you done with yours?" she asked as she stood up.

"Wait," Octavia drank what was left of her beer and gave the bottle to Clarke. "Thanks."

Clarke took the empty bottles to the kitchen and came back with two more cold beers, leaving them on the table before she sat down.

"So... A hundred women, then?" Octavia asked after taking a sip.

"What? Oh, you mean Raven? No no," Clarke laughed. "That was just an expression."

"I wouldn't be surprised, though... She's gorgeous," Octavia sighed.

"O, it's going to be great, you'll see," Clarke assured her. "You have the advantage that Raven has the same _equipment_ as you, anatomically speaking... So, just think of what you like and try it with her... You'll see how she reacts..."

"It would be so much easier if there was a book with instructions, you know? I could just read it and master the art of lesbian sex," Octavia laughed.

"I'm pretty sure there's a book with that exact same title," Clarke laughed as well. "Or porn. Although I wouldn't recommend lesbian porn... It's mostly straight women with long nails and high heels pretending to enjoy it..."

"Oh, I know... I looked into it years ago when I..." Octavia stopped for a moment, realizing she hadn't told Clarke about Lola. "Well, I kind of liked this girl..."

"Really?" Clarke was intrigued. "What happened?"

"It was in first year of med school... The first month, actually... We made out a few times and then one night we almost did it, but I kind of chickened out and left... And then the next day she told me she was leaving because she got accepted to another University, a lot closer to her home, so..."

"Oh... That's so sad... Did you keep in touch?"

"Not really... We would text once in a while, but then I started dating Fran and we basically lost touch," Octavia answered and took another sip of her beer.

"Well, sometimes things happen for a reason, right? In the end it all turned out great, because now you're here... And you're going to master the _Art of lesbian sex_," Clarke laughed out loud.

"Fuck off!" Octavia laughed as well and gave Clarke a push on the shoulder over the table.

"What did I miss?" Raven asked with a smile on her face as she walked across the living room towards the balcony, surprising Clarke and Octavia who hadn't heard her come in.

Octavia almost choked on her beer and glanced at Clarke who was clearly taken by surprise as well.

"Ray... We didn't hear you... When did you get back?" Clarke asked, trying to figure out how much of the conversation Raven had actually heard.

"Just now," Raven replied as she moved toward Octavia. "Hey, you..." she leaned and gave her a kiss on the corner of her lips.

"Hi," Octavia smiled at her timidly. "How was your workout?"

"Amazing... I really missed it," she said as she sat down at the table, between Octavia and Clarke. "Oh, Ricky says hi."

"Right... I forgot you two are gym buddies," Clarke commented. "Would you like a beer? O, another one?" she offered as she stood up.

"Sure, thanks..." Raven accepted.

"Not for me, thank you..." Octavia declined.

"This is your second one, then? The workweek limit," Raven remembered.

"Yes," Octavia replied as Clarke went inside. "So... Who else was at the gym?" she raised her eyebrow.

"Just the regulars, I guess... Why?"

"Does that include the American nymphomaniac woman?" Octavia asked, well aware that the woman she had in mind was Canadian.

"Who?" Raven needed a moment to realize Octavia was talking about Ontari. "Oh... You mean... No, I didn't see her... But, Octavia... You really don't have to worry about her..."

"Here you go, Ray..." Clarke brought the drink and left it on the table, interrupting the conversation. "I'll be right back, have to go to the bathroom," she left again, unaware of the slight tension between the two women.

"Hey... Look at me," Raven touched Octavia's chin and gently turned her head to face her. "I don't want her... I want _you_, Octavia.... Only you..."

"You do?" Octavia looked at her and smiled.

"I really do," Raven smiled back and gave her a soft kiss on the lips. "Would you let me take you out on a date on Friday night?"

"A date?" Octavia's lips curled into a big smile. "So official, Reyes..." she joked.

"Well, I want to officially start dating you, Romero..." Raven played along. "So what do you say?"

"Yes... I'd like that," Octavia accepted and they smiled at each other, oblivious to the presence of Clarke who had witnessed the last part of the cute interaction from the living room.

She smiled, feeling happy for her friends and joined them on the balcony where they enjoyed each other's company for the rest of the evening.

* * *

The next morning Clarke woke up to the sound of an incoming message and she quickly grabbed the phone, thrilled to see that Lexa had sent her a selfie.

**Text** ** message**

_Lexa (07:14)_  
"Good morning, Clarke 😘 Greetings from Singapore"

Clarke was mesmerized by Lexa's big green eyes, and despite the trace of tiredness, evident on her face, to her it seemed she had never looked more beautiful. She glanced at her voluminous lips, paying special attention to the very subtle mole right on the edge of her upper lip and realized how much she already missed her, wishing more than anything to have her in her arms again.

She managed to look away, only to take a selfie in bed, peeking from under the sheets that were covering the lower half of her face and then she attached it to the message she was typing.

_Clarke (07:16)_  
"Good morning, gorgeous 😘 I'm starting to think you're not human, because it is impossible to look this good after a 13-hour flight 😍"

_Lexa (07:16)_  
"You must really like me to think that I look good right now 🙈 I actually sent you the selfie to show you how much I've aged since we last saw each other 👵🏻"

_Lexa (07:17)_  
"Btw... I miss your face being the first thing I see in the morning 😔"

_Clarke (07:17)_  
"Then I must say that you've aged well, Ms. Woods 😏 God, I miss those lips... 😩 It sucks sleeping without you... ❤️"

_Lexa (07:18)_  
"❤️  
I think I'll grab some quick lunch... It's almost 2:30 pm and my flight to Sydney is in an hour. What's your plan for the rest of the week?"

_Clarke (07:18)_  
"Nothing much, really... I'll probably go down to the pool, read a book... Tomorrow is a National Holiday (The Assumption of Mary), so I'll see if Octavia and Raven want to do something together 🙂 And on Friday I'm going back to work... A 24-hour shift 😒 Are your parents picking you up at the airport in Sydney?"

There was no reply from Lexa, so Clarke went to the bathroom to wash up. She didn't think much of it, Lexa was probably looking for a good restaurant and couldn't write back immediately, although she wasn't sure if the brunette seemed a bit colder or she was just imagining things. After all, Lexa did say she missed her, but then again, she hadn't called her _baby_ or _love_ ever since the first message after she left.

Clarke decided not to read too much into it, so she shook off the bad thoughts and went to the kitchen to make some fresh orange juice.

About an hour later, she was having breakfast with Raven on the balcony and quickly grabbed the phone the moment she heard the sound of an incoming message.

_Lexa (08:21)_  
"I just had the best veggie burger ever! 🤤 I'm already on the plane, we leave in 10 minutes so I'll turn off my phone now... And yes, my parents insisted on picking me up, even though I arrive at 2 am 🤷🏻♀️   
Say hi to Raven and Octavia for me and enjoy the last days of your vacation 😘"

_Clarke (08:21)_  
"Thanks, Raven says hi back 😊  
Ok, have a safe flight and let me know when you arrive, please 😘"

The ticks turned blue and immediately after that Lexa went offline.

Clarke couldn't really shake off the feeling that Lexa was being a little distant and was trying not to worry too much, but Raven noticed the concern on her face as she got lost in her own thoughts.

"Everything ok?" she asked.

"Oh... Yes. I think so..." Clarke answered honestly.

"What's bothering you? The wrinkle on your forehead gave you away... You're frowning."

"Shit... I have to stop doing that," Clarke smiled and relaxed her forehead. "Everything is fine, really... It's just that I think Lexa is a bit different... As in colder... I feel like she's keeping me at a distance... Or maybe I'm imagining things, I don't know..."

"What makes you think that?" Raven asked.

"She hasn't called me since she left, she only texts me... And..." she paused. "Never mind, it's stupid..."

"What is it? If it's bothering you, then it's not stupid," Raven insisted.

"Well, it's just that ever since she left, she hasn't called me _baby_ or _love_... Or anything other than Clarke, actually."

"Hm... It's only been a day, Clarke... May I see the messages from yesterday and today?"

"Um... Only if you're not going to make fun of me..." she said before handing the phone to Raven.

"I promise," Raven smiled as she took the phone and started reading.

Couple of minutes later she gave the phone back to Clarke, who was impatient to hear her friend's opinion.

"So? What do you think?" she asked.

"To me it doesn't look like there's something wrong... But if you say you feel like she's acting differently, then it is possible that it's because she loves you so much that it freaks her out and she's just trying to control herself..." she presented her conclusion.

"I don't think she has forgiven me... Even though she says she has..." Clarke sounded defeated.

"I think she has, Clarke... But she's probably still processing everything that happened and maybe she just needs some space..."

"So do you think I should back off?"

"I'm not sure..." Raven shrugged. "Maybe you should ask her what she wants? Or just let her set the pace, you know?"

"Maybe... I'll wait until she settles home and then... I don't know, we'll see..."

"Sounds good, Clarkie..." Raven winked at her as she stood up and walked into the living room. "I'll see you after work," she said after picking up her bag from the couch and walked in the direction of the door. "Don't play with Hercules too much!" she shouted on her way out.

Clarke smiled at her friend's silliness and proceeded to clean up the table before heading down to the pool.

* * *

On Friday morning, Clarke and Octavia were changing in the hospital's locker room, and the blonde was about to put on her t-shirt when she noticed Eva behind her.

"Look who's back," she said in a sassy tone.

Clarke decided to ignore her and she simply put on her shirt without saying a word.

"I see the actress likes it rough... Or did you get a cat?" Eva continued.

"Eva, shut the fuck up," Octavia couldn't resist and tried to silence her.

"What? I'm just curious about the scratch marks on her back... Although now that I see the hickeys on her neck I'm thinking she might have moved on to someone new already... A teenager maybe?" Eva laughed sarcastically as she opened her locker.

"You know what, Eva?" Clarke turned around and walked to Eva's locker. "This is low, even for you. It's enough! What do you want me to say?? I'm sorry that I hurt you, and you know that... And I'm sorry I didn't break up with you earlier... I should've done it a long time ago, but I kept pushing forward, trying to convince myself that we could make it work and that what was left of my feelings for you was enough to keep me going... But I can't tell you I'm sorry it happened, because I'm not! Meeting her was the best thing that ever happened to me... I didn't plan to fall in love with her, but I did and it reminded me what it was like to be happy again, Eva..."

"You don't deserve to be happy!" Eva yelled at her. "You are a cheater and a liar and you don't deserve a happy ending!"

"I'm sorry you feel that way," Clarke replied calmly. "I get that you're angry at me and as I said... We should've broken up a long time ago and that's on me. That was my mistake... I didn't want to accept that we were just not right for each other... And I hope you'll see that someday and be able to wish me well the way I wish it for you..." Clarke finished and turned around in order to leave.

"So that's your only mistake, then? What about lying to my face when I asked you if there was someone else? You don't think I deserved the truth?" Eva was not quite done.

"You're right," Clarke stopped walking and turned around to face Eva. "I didn't tell you about what happened in Paris, but I do think you deserve the whole truth, so here it is... After our last fight, the day before I went to France, I had already made up my mind about talking to you the minute I got back... Meeting Lexa and falling for her was just another confirmation that I was not in love with you and that our relationship was over."

"Of course... How convenient..." Eva said sarcastically.

"Come on, Clarke... It's not worth it," Octavia interfered.

"Oh, no no... It's definitely worth it," Eva replied. "Since you're so big on the truth, then I guess you wouldn't mind if I share my story with the world... I'm sure there are a lot of magazines that would be interested to hear how the closeted Lexa Woods stole my girlfriend."

"You wouldn't dare!!" Clarke yelled.

"Oh, I think I just might," Eva gave her a fake smile.

"What is wrong with you?? I don't recognize you at all..." Clarke couldn't believe her ears.

"Clarke, leave her be... She doesn't have any proof anyway," Octavia grabbed Clarke by the arm, trying to get her out of there.

"Oh, I'm sure there are a lot of photos of the two of you from that night in Fenix..." Eva put on her white coat and closed the locker.

"This isn't you," Clarke was trying to reason with her. "You wouldn't play with someone's life like that... She didn't do anything wrong, she thought I was single when we met... You saw how shocked she was when you showed up at my apartment..."

"And yet she stayed with you... I guess it didn't bother her after all."

"No... She left..." Clarke teared up.

"You're lying again," Eva wasn't buying it.

"I'm not... Ask Octavia," she turned to her friend.

"It's true... She left," Octavia confirmed.

"She only came back to say goodbye the night before her flight..." Clarke continued. "I know you want to hurt me, Eva, but please... She didn't do anything wrong and if this comes out... It could ruin her career... Don't do this, please..." Clarke was begging her with tears in her eyes.

"God, when did you become so dramatic?" Eva laughed sarcastically. "Relax, I wouldn't do that to her or anyone... Why should she pay for your mistakes? She already had the bad luck of meeting you, so I'm gonna let _you_ ruin her life instead just by staying in it... That is, if she's stupid enough to forgive you. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, Clarke... Like father like daughter," Eva finished speaking and walked out of the locker room.

Clarke took a few deep breaths, trying to calm down, which seemed impossible at the moment with her heart racing, so she simply sat down on the floor, feeling nauseous.

"Clarke, are you okay?" Octavia knelt and put her hands on Clarke's shoulders. "Shit, you're so pale... Breathe, ok? Put your head down, between your legs, come on..."

She did what Octavia told her to do and started to feel a little better after a while.

"I'm good, I'm good..." she assured Octavia as she was helping her get up.

"You sure? We can skip the meeting today, I'll let Dr. Álvarez know," Octavia suggested.

"No, no..." Clarke refused, wiping off her tears. "Thank you, O... I'm good, I promise... I'll just freshen up and we'll go, okay?"

"Ok..." Octavia agreed. "Hey, Clarke..." she stopped her on the way to the bathroom. "You know it's not true, right? What she said about you... You deserve to be happy, you know that, right?"

Clarke just nodded and went inside the bathroom to make herself presentable for her first day back at work, trying to stop Eva's words from feeding her darkest fears.

"You are not him," she said, looking at her image in the mirror.

* * *

After the staff meeting, Clarke was finishing up the rounds when she received a message from Lexa. She quickly opened it and saw that she had sent her a photo of the sun setting over the ocean, making the clouds above it look like pink cotton candy almost touching the water.

Lexa (10:04 am)  
Look at this beautiful sunset 😍

A smile found its way on Clarke's lips as she leaned on the wall in the hallway and wrote her back.

Clarke (10:04 am)  
Almost as beautiful as you 😍

Lexa (10:04 am)  
Aren't you a smooth operator 😏😘 How's your morning so far?

Clarke (10:05 am)  
😇😘  
Ugh... Not great... I was actually going to ask you if we could maybe have a video chat sometime soon? I need to tell you something.

Lexa (10:05 am)  
Are you okay? I can call you right now, I just got home.

Clarke (10:05 am)  
You sure?

_Lexa (10:06_ am)  
Of course. Can you talk now?

Clarke (10:06 am)  
Let me just go somewhere private and I'll call you, ok?

_Lexa (10:06_ am)  
Sure.

Clarke went to the staff meeting room where she found her mentor Dr. Carlos Álvarez, who was going through some papers.

"Hi, I just wanted to let you know I'm done with the rounds," she said as she walked through the door.

"Great," he looked up and smiled at her. "Anything you want to send to the lab?"

"Yes, I left the petition at the nurse station already... It's about Mrs. García Lorenzo, she complained about pain in the calf, I'm pretty sure it's a superficial thrombophlebitis, she's had it before... She's already on low molecular weight heparin since her hip replacement surgery, but I want to rule out deep vein thrombosis and cellulitis, so I asked for a complete blood count, erythrocyte sedimentation rate, c reactive protein, INR and the D-dimer..."

Carlos was about to say something but Clarke continued instead.

"Before you say anything... Yes, I know that the D-dimer will probably come back high because of the recent surgery, so I asked Juamni to come after his rounds and he'll do a bedside DVT ultrasound and we'll know for sure."

"Good," Carlos smiled at Clarke, content with her work. "You'll do the arthroscopic repair of the meniscus tear with me later, right?"

"Yes, of course... I just have to make a call and I'll meet you in the surgery area."

"Take your time, it's not for another hour," he smiled at her and continued reading the files after she nodded and turned around. "Oh, and Clarke..." he called her name and she stopped walking, facing him. "It's good to have you back."

"Thank you," Clarke smiled politely at him. "It's good to be back," she said as she walked out of the room.

She went to the on call room and took out her phone to call Lexa, who answered after the second dial tone.

**Video call**

_Lexa:_  
"Hey!" she smiled at Clarke, looking happy to see her, but at the same time worried about the reason for the call.

_Clarke:_  
"Hey, you..." Clarke smiled back, thrilled to be seeing Lexa's face again. "How are you? How was your day?"

_Lexa:_  
"I'm good, finally rested I think... After sleeping the whole day yesterday... How are you?"

_Clarke:_  
"Well, it was a long trip... It's so nice to see your face..."

_Lexa:_  
"Yours too," Lexa smiled at her. "You look sad, though... What's wrong?"

_Clarke:_  
"Ugh... I probably shouldn't worry about it, but... I think you should know..." she hesitated for a second. "It's about Eva."

_Lexa:_  
"Oh..." she clenched her jaw at the mention of Clarke's ex. "What about her?"

_Clarke:_  
"She confronted me in the locker room this morning, calling me names and then she... threatened to out you... And then I kind of lost it... and..."

_Lexa:_  
"Did she hurt you?" Lexa interrupted her, concerned about Clarke's safety. "Clarke, if she laid a finger on you, I swear to God..."

_Clarke:_  
"No, no... I'm fine, she didn't touch me..." she tried to calm her down. "But I like how quickly you went to _Commander mode_, though..." she winked at Lexa, trying to lighten the mood.

_Lexa:_  
"I just... I don't want anything bad to happen to you..."

_Clarke:_  
"It won't... But didn't you hear what I said about her outing you?" she was surprised Lexa didn't react to that information.

_Lexa:_  
"I heard... And I'm not scared of her... She can't prove anything," Lexa was confident.

_Clarke:_  
"Yeah... Octavia said the same... She was there when it all happened. But in the end Eva said that she wasn't going to do it, because..." Clarke paused and tilted her head down.

_Lexa:_  
"Why?" Lexa noticed Clarke's hesitation. "Clarke?"

_Clarke:_  
"She said that you were unlucky enough to have met me and that I would end up ruining your life anyway, so..." she said, unable to look at the screen.

_Lexa:_  
"That's... Hey, Clarke... Look at me," she saw Clarke's head move up, noticing her teary eyes. "You know that's not true, right?"

Clarke shrugged.

_Lexa:_  
"It's not true, Clarke... No matter the circumstancies, I wouldn't change a thing about how we met and fell in love."

_Clarke:_  
"Lex..." a tear fell down Clarke's cheek. "I love you so much..."

_Lexa:_  
"I love you too... Don't cry, _baby_..."

_Clarke:_  
"You called me _baby_," Clarke finally smiled, feeling a bit more relaxed.

_Lexa:_  
"I'm pretty sure I've done it before," she smiled back.

_Clarke:_  
"Yes, but... I miss hearing you say it," Clarke confessed.

_Lexa:_  
"I'll say it more often then," she winked at her and was happy to see that Clarke had calmed down. "Feeling better?"

_Clarke:_  
"I am... Thank you."

Their conversation was interrupted by someone knocking on Lexa's door.

_Lexa:_  
"Yeah?" Clarke could hear the door open. "Hey, mum..."

_Becca__:_  
"Hey, Lexie! Your dad and I are going to have some wine out on the patio... Care to join us?"

_Lexa:_  
"Sure, I'll be right out... I'm on the phone..."

_Becca__:_  
"Oh, is it Maia? Tell her I said hi!"

_Lexa:_  
"It's not Maia," Lexa blushed. "I'll join you in a bit, yeah?"

_Becca:_  
"Alright, alright, I'm leaving..." she laughed as she closed the door.

_Lexa:_  
"Sorry about that..." she looked at Clarke's face on the screen.

_Clarke:_  
"No problem... _Lexie_," Clarke teased her.

_Lexa:_  
"Shut up!" Lexa laughed out loud.

_Clarke:_  
"Sorry, couldn't help it," she laughed as well. "Alright... I should go too, have to prepare for a surgery..."

_Lexa:_  
"Okay... Talk to you soon?"

_Clarke:_  
"I'd like that... Bye, Lex!" she said and blew a kiss to the camera.

_Lexa:_  
"Bye, _baby_..." Lexa did the same before finishing the video call.


	29. Octaven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get to see how Lexa is processing the whole "incident" with Eva...  
Octavia and Raven have their first official date!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY NEW YEAR, everyone! 🎉🎉🎉
> 
> Here's my present for you 😛 
> 
> I just wanted to say that I won't have time to publish anything else before February, so I hope this chapter keeps you warm until then. But I promise I will continue publishing at least once a week once January is over. 
> 
> I hope you like it and as always, your comments are very welcome ❤️

Contrary to Spain, in Australia the temperatures in August were low, considering it was the coldest month of the year and that particular Friday was the beginning of the last two weeks of winter. Even though it was rather windy, it had actually turned out to be the hottest day of the month in Sydney, reaching 26ºC and making it easier for Lexa to adapt to the climate change.

She had spent the afternoon on the beach, trying to concentrate on a book she had started reading about six months earlier and it looked like she was not going to finish it anytime soon due to a certain blonde that had occupied her thoughts.

There had been so many mixed feelings she had been desperately trying to work through ever since she found out about Clarke's decision to withhold what Lexa considered to be crucial information from her. She couldn't help but feel disappointed and hurt, wondering if perhaps they had jumped into it a little too soon and a bit too fast. After all, just a little over a month ago, Clarke was someone else's girlfriend. Of course, she believed her when she said the relationship had been falling apart long before the two of them met in Paris, but still... The fact that Clarke belonged to someone else, at least officially, when they were devouring each other in her hotel room, was something she wasn't comfortable with, to say the least.

Was that irrational of her? Maybe.

Was is some kind of jealousy? Possibly.

But wasn't it a little risky to get involved with someone who had just gotten out of a relationship?

Everyone knew that if you wanted to avoid being someone's rebound, you needed to stay away from them until they were ready to start something with someone new.

Was Clarke ready? She definitely seemed like it, but how could she be sure?

Clarke had only been single for two weeks before Lexa visited her, during which they had been constantly texting and video calling each other.

So when did Clarke have the time to process the break-up?

To think that not that long ago she shared her bed with someone else infuriated her. That same bed where she first told her she loved her.

Lexa had always been on the slightly jealous or even possesive side in her previous relationships, although never to an extreme point, but she had always felt what some would define as a healthy dose of it. With Clarke, she could feel that she was at risk of exceeding that limit and that was one of the reasons she had decided to distance herself from her, at least until she could learn how to control that _green-eyed monster_, as Shakespeare described it in his famous tragedy _Othello_.

After their video chat that evening, she actually felt pretty proud of herself for the self-control she'd shown at the mention of Eva and also seeing the love in Clarke's eyes somehow succeeded to calm the storm of thoughts that had been torturing her mind throughout the day.

She was still under the effect of the feelings kindling within her during their chat, which had transformed into a silly smile on her face as she was joining her parents on the back porch.

Her mother Becca was a tall, slim woman with long, curly reddish hair and big blue eyes, bearing a resemblance to her daughter, except for Lexa's green eyes and fuller lips.

Augustus, on the other hand, was the responsible for the colour of his daughter's eyes and her strong jawline, whereas his hair was dark, short and straight, a bit greyish on the sides, as well as his beard that was long and pretty much grey all around.

The moment they saw her, they immediately stopped talking, which made it obvious to Lexa that the subject had been something they didn't want her to hear.

"What?" she raised an eyebrow, inquiring.

"What?" Becca did the exact same thing.

"What were you talking about?" Lexa continued with the questions.

"Oh, we were just wondering who's responsable for that goofy smile on your face," Becca didn't hesitate.

"I don't know what you mean," Lexa felt the heat in her cheeks as she sat down and grabbed the glass of wine, interrupting the eye contact with her mother.

"Your cheeks don't seem to agree with you, though..." Becca laughed as Lexa took a sip, trying to ignore her comments.

"Come on, Becca... Give our girl a break," Augustus interfered.

"Thank you, dad..." Lexa smiled at her father, feeling thankful for the intervention on his part.

"Of course, honey..." he smiled back. "I was exactly like that when I fell in love with your mother..." he started laughing when Lexa almost choked as she was taking another sip of wine.

"My God, what is it with you two?" she couldn't help but laugh as well at her parents' playfulness.

"Oh, Lexie, indulge us, will you?" Becca was set on finding out the truth. "The last time you were like this was at that talent show I was producing... You were hiding backstage and falling head over heels for that girl from Melbourne... What was her name again?"

"Eliza," Lexa was quick to answer.

"That's it, yes..." Becca remembered. "Your first crush... You must've been 13 or 14..."

"I was 14," Lexa smiled.

"So..." Becca paused. "Who's the lucky girl, then?" she moved her eyebrows up and down repeatedly.

"Mum!!" Lexa exclaimed, taking a mental note to work on her face expressions when thinking about Clarke.

"Leave her be, love..." Augustus tried to convince Becca. "She'll tell us when she's ready... Maybe she doesn't want to jinx it..."

"Alright, alright... I give up," Becca rolled her eyes and sighed. "Oh, Gus! Maybe she'll be her plus one at the Emmys!"

"Hello? I am right here!" Lexa raised her voice, getting their attention. "Fine... You're right, I did meet someone and I lo... I really like her, okay?" she hoped they didn't notice the little slip. "We're taking it slow and that's all you need to know for now... And she's not my plus one at the Emmys... Can we talk about something else now, please?"

They both smiled at her gently and nodded, accepting the information their daughter was willing to give them as they changed the subject and enjoyed the rest of their evening together.

* * *

On another continent, Raven and Octavia were taking a stroll down the Marbella promenade _(Paseo Marítimo)_ on the way to the _Beacon gastro bar_ where Raven had reserved a table for their date. They were both a bit nervous, since it was their official date which they both knew was probably going to end in spending the night together.

Octavia was wearing a black V-neck, cap sleeve, floral pattern lace dress with white lining, in combination with black ankle strap sandals. Her make up was subtle and her long dark hair was falling over her right shoulder, the mid-thigh dress revealing her tanned toned legs.

Raven, on the other hand, had opted for a white sleeveless lace crop top, revealing her strong abs in combination with high waisted, navy blue wide leg pants, with two white stripes printed on the elastic material around the waist. She was wearing a soft pink lipstick that made her lips look extremly inviting to Octavia, and the brown eyeshadow she had applied made the chocolate colour of her eyes pop out, making it difficult for her date not to get lost in them.

Once they were at the bar, they ordered the drinks and food and enganged in a conversation about how their week had been going.

"Did I mention you look amazing, by the way?" Raven couldn't take her eyes off of Octavia.

"You did, yes..." Octavia smiled timidly at her. "It was right before I said you looked stunning..."

"Oh, right..." Raven couldn't help but blush. "I'm a little rusty, I guess..." she admitted.

"What do you mean?"

"At this dating thing," she explained.

"But you date all the time," Octavia was confused.

"Not like this... not with someone I actually care about," she smiled and noticed Octavia's cheeks picking up a slightly reddish tone as she smiled back at her.

After a while, they were talking about how they both enjoyed water sports and were making plans to go supping over the weekend, when the waitress approached them with two drinks that they didn't remember ordering.

"This is from the two gentlemen over there by the bar," she said, leaning her head in the direction of the bar, where they could see two thirty-something slightly drunk men in hawaiian shirts waving at them.

Octavia frowned and looked at Raven who was rolling her eyes at them.

"Could you please take the drinks back and tell them that we respectfully decline their advances? Thank you," Octavia asked nicely and the waitress simply nodded with a smile on her face as she was taking the drinks back to the bar.

"Wow..." Raven had a huge smile on her face.

"What?"

"That was so hot..." she said smiling and looking at Octavia.

"I hope you didn't mind me doing that..." Octavia wanted to make sure her actions hadn't bothered Raven.

"Mind?" Raven laughed. "I was about to do the same, actually, except maybe I wouldn't have sent them such a polite message... Mine would've been something more like: 'In your dreams, douchebag'," they both laughed, unaware that the two men were approaching them in that moment.

"Hey, girls!" one of them spoke in Spanish with a British accent.

"Speaking of douchebags..." Raven said to Octavia in a low voice, raising her eyebrow.

"Hablas_ inglés?_" the same man continued in Spanish, keeping the strong British accent.

"Look, dude..." Raven was becoming impatient. "I thought we made it clear that we weren't interested..."

"Ohhh an American girl," the man seemed to ignore Raven's words and was focused on her American accent. "That's so hot... I've never been with one," he said and winked at her.

"And by the looks of it, this isn't going to be your lucky day either," Octavia interfered.

"Is that so?" he turned his attention to Octavia. "You speak for her, then? What are you, her lawyer?"

"No, I'm the one who's going home with her tonight," she said firmly.

"Oh, looks like we have two hot roommates here, mate!" he smiled at his friend.

"No, dipshit... We, as in the two of us," Raven said, showing at Octavia and her with her hand, "are on a date... So I suggest you stop barking up the wrong tree, go back to the bar and let us enjoy our evening, okay?"

The man's jaw dropped and he was looking alternately at Raven and Octavia, absorbing the information. He then glanced at his friend who had the same expression on his face, but was taking a step back.

"Bloody hell, man... when did the hot ones become lesbians as well?" he said to his friend as he was joining him and they were slowly walking away from them in defeat.

Octavia clenched her jaw, pressing her lips tight together and getting ready to engage in a conflict with them, when Raven grabbed her by the forearm.

"It's not worth it, O..." she tried to calm her down.

"But..."

"I know... believe me, I know..." Raven continued. "But that's a fight for another time... Tonight is not about them... it's about us... Let's not let them ruin our night, what do you say?"

Octavia took a deep breath before she exhaled and then she nodded at Raven.

"You're right... I'm sorry," she apologized. "It's just that it makes me furious, you know? As if it were impossible for women to be attracted to other women, unless they were deemed unattractive by men..."

"I know... And I love how passionate you feel about it..." Raven smiled at her and she couldn't help but be reminded of Anya, who was always ready to fight for justice.

Seeing that same passion in Octavia, as they were getting to know each other better, made her like her even more, but at the same time she feared that her feistiness might get her into trouble.

She suggested they left the bar and took a walk down the promenade, which Octavia gladly accepted.

"I have to admit something..." Raven said as they sat on a bench by the sea. "You know that time at the gym... when I saw you... well, you know..." she said nervously, referring to the kiss between Octavia and Ricky. "The thing is... That night I wanted to give you something and in the end I didn't, due to the circumstances... After that, everything happened so fast, I left for New York and I thought it had gotten lost... until I found it in the living room this morning... You see, Clarke had left it for me before she went to work... I guess she must've found it in my gym bag when she was doing the laundry and kept it... She also left a note that said: 'There is no time to leave important words unsaid'... She makes a good point, which is why I want you to have it..."

Octavia had been waiting patiently for Raven to finish talking and she smiled when she saw that she was handing her an envelope with her name written on the front.

"May I...?" she asked for permission to open the envelope.

"Yes, yes... Go ahead... You can read it now if you'd like... Or later, whatever you prefer."

Octavia quickly opened it without saying anything and started reading.

_Dear Octavia,_

_I bet you didn't expect something like this from me, and believe me when I say I am also kind of processing the fact that I'm actually holding a pen and writing a letter to you._

_The truth is, you have been on my mind a lot lately. Ever since we kissed in May, I haven't been able to stop replaying it in my mind over and over again... Not in a pervy way, don't worry. I know we said that it was just a drunken kiss and it didn't mean anything, but if I'm being completely honest with you, I'm not sure that's true... At least for me. Maybe I'm wrong, but after our second kiss yesterday in the bathroom of the beach chiringuito, I got the impression that you might feel the same. I don't know if it was just desire that I saw in your eyes or there could be something else as well, but what I do know is that I'm ready to find out. _

_What I'm trying to say is... I like you, Octavia. A lot. And that's quite a big deal for me, because I haven't felt like this in years... And even though it's scary as fuck, I know it's about time I do something about it, even if I get hurt in the process._

_I was actually going to step back because I thought you were into Ricky, but then you kissed me again and it gave me courage to tell you how I feel. There is so much more I'd like to tell you about my life and why I've been avoiding getting involved with anyone since I moved to Spain and I'm ready to share all that with you, because I feel I can really trust you._

_So... I guess the ball is in your court now. Whatever this is between us, I'd like to see where it could take us, so I'm putting all the cards on the table, hoping that you feel the same. _

_However, if I have misinterpreted the whole situation and this isn't for you what it is for me, don't worry about it, you can just pretend you never got the letter and we'll go back to our usual sarcastic comments and witty remarks and I'll get over it sooner or later. If that's the case, my only request is that you never kiss me again, because the taste of your lips makes it impossible for me not to want more and I'm afraid it would end up breaking my heart. And I'm not sure I could go through that again... To be honest, I barely survived the first time, but you're the only one who makes me want to try and be with someone again._

_To sum it all up... I'm yours if you'll have me._

_Raven_

Octavia finished reading the letter, feeling touched by Raven's words and the way she had poured her heart out to her. She looked at her, trying to contain the tears of happiness in her eyes as she pressed her lips on Raven's, initiating a gentle kiss.

"Yes..." Octavia said quietly as she moved away from the Latina.

"Yes?" Raven's heart was pounding inside her chest even before Octavia started reading the letter and hadn't stopped since.

"I'm yours, Raven..." she said as she leaned with her forehead on Raven's.

Raven gently cupped her cheeks with her hands and their eyes met moments before their lips joined in another kiss, the most meaningful of them all, promising to take care of each other as they were embarking a new, exciting adventure together.

"You know..." Octavia said as they were trying to calm down their breathing. "What you said about our first kiss... I've been replaying it in my mind as well... But in a very pervy way..." she bit her lower lip without looking away.

"Is that so?" Raven's lips curled into a smile as she was looking at Octavia who nodded at her with a smirk on her face. "And how did that make you feel?"

"Mmm... How about we go to your place and I show you?" Octavia licked her lips, smiling at Raven who was visibly excited and pleasantly surprised by her insinuations.

She didn't say a word, instead she just grabbed Octavia by the hand and pulled her up from the bench, making her laugh.

They were actually very close to Raven's apartment, so about five minutes later they were already in the elevator, leaning on the wall as Raven's lips were pressed on Octavia's neck, kissing and licking her soft skin all the way to the space between her breasts, so elegantly revealed by the neckline of her dress.

The elevator door opened, interrupting the moment of passion, although only until Raven unlocked the door and once they were inside, they quickly found each other's lips again on their way to Raven's bedroom. She was leading Octavia who was walking backwards into the room until her legs hit the edge of the bed. Raven found the zipper on the back of Octavia's dress without separating their lips and she slid it down her body after unzipping it in a hurry.

Raven grabbed her by the waist and pulled her closer as she started leaving kisses down her neck in the direction of her naked breasts. A loud moan escaped Octavia's throat the moment she felt Raven's warm tongue on her hard nipple and she instictively grabbed her hair, pulling her closer.

The Latina smiled before she opened her mouth, taking Octavia's nipple in, surrounding her areola with her lips as she started sucking, enjoying her loud moans. One of her hands was gently squeezing her other breast, whereas the other one was firmly placed on Octavia's behind. She then moved her lips to her other breast, eliciting an even louder moan from the brunette, whose eyes were shut and head tilted backwards, enjoying the way Raven was making her entire body burn of lust and desire she had never experienced before.

Octavia's hands moved from the back of Raven's head down her spine and she placed her fingers under her crop top. The Latina understood what she needed of her, so she stopped what she was doing and lifted her arms up, helping Octavia take off her top, which was exactly what she did before throwing it on the floor.

Seeing Raven's naked torso sent another wave of arousal through Octavia's body, increasing the wetness between her legs. This time she didn't hesitate before she grabbed her breasts and pushed her tongue hungrily into Raven's mouth, silencing her moans.

Raven squeezed Octavia's glutes hard and then moved her hands under her black lace panties, slowly pulling them down her legs and letting them fall to her ankles.

Their eyes met as they stopped kissing, panting and feeling each other's breath on their lips.

It was the first time Raven was going to see Octavia completely naked and curiously enough, it made both of them feel like teenagers, discovering intimacy for the first time.

"Sit down on the bed..." Raven managed to say in between shallow breaths and watched Octavia do what she had asked of her. "You're so fucking gorgeous..." she said with a look full of admiration and lust as she proceeded to remove the panties from her ankles as well as her sandals.

She then stood up in front of Octavia who was looking up at her, her chest moving up and down fast as she was feasting her eyes on the Latina who took off her pants and shoes hastily, revealing her black thong for her eyes only.

Octavia swallowed hard, finding it impossible to keep her hands to herself, so she grabbed Raven by the hips and pulled her closer. She squeezed her glutes as she started kissing her abs, feeling Raven's hands on the back of her head, her fingers entangled in her hair. She looked up, finding Raven's eyes and the latter leaned into a kiss, pushing her down on the bed and they both moved up until Octavia rested her head on the pillow, feeling Raven's almost naked body on top of her.

Their breasts touched as Raven positioned herself between Octavia's legs, pressing her lips on hers and moving her tongue along her lower lip before Octavia opened her mouth to welcome Raven's tongue inside.

As the kiss intensified, so did their moans and movements, and Raven's arousal was at its peak when she felt Octavia's wetness through her own thong. She was eager to taste her, so she moved away from her lips and started leaving a trail of wet kisses down her sternum, all the way to her lower abdomen, teasing her nipples with her thumbs as she buried her head between her legs.

Octavia released a loud moan when she felt Raven's tongue between her folds, grabbing her by the back of her head at the same time she was pulling her closer. Raven moaned as she absorbed Octavia's wetness in her mouth and increased the pressure on her sex, moving her tongue up and down until she reached her clitoris and started circling around it, driving Octavia crazy of anticipation.

A few moments later, she moved one of her hands from Octavia's breasts only to place one finger at the entrance of her vagina as she pushed her tongue directly on her bulging clitoris.

"Oh fuck, Raven... yes..." Octavia was surprised at herself and at the sounds that came out of her throat, as she didn't remember ever being so loud before.

Raven continued licking her clitoris as she slowly pushed her middle finger inside her soaked vagina, getting lost in her moans and the way the inside of her pussy felt against her finger. She didn't wait long before she added another finger, making Octavia arch her back at the intrusion. She couldn't help but move her hips against Raven's fingers, making the penetration deeper and faster, while the Latina's lips were locked on her clitoris.

A few thrusts later, the walls of her vagina tightened around Raven's fingers as she reached her first orgasm of the night.

The Latina waited for the post-orgasmic _aftershocks_ to cease before she removed her fingers from Octavia's sex and licked them under her watchful eye.

"I can't wait to do that again," she said before she wiped Octavia's sweet nectar off her face with the back of her forearm.

She lay on top of Octavia and gave her a gentle kiss on the lips.

"Hmm..." Octavia said after she licked her lips.

"What?"

"It's weird to taste myself..."

"Oh... Does it bother you? I can wash up if you'd like..." Raven offered.

"No no... I just don't remember ever doing it before..." she said honestly.

"How...? But... Has no one gone down on you before?" Raven was confused.

"They have... It's just that I've never kissed them after..."

"Do you like it?" Raven was curious.

"It's not bad... I think... I don't have anything to compare it with..." she said a bit timidly. "Do _you_... like it?"

"I love it... You taste amazing... I could do this all night long," Raven smiled at her before she gave her another kiss, a little more intense than the last one.

Soon after that, Octavia pushed Raven on her back and climbed on top of her, straddling her. She moved her fingertips up and down her torso, spending a little extra time circling around her breasts, watching how her nipples became hard, as if they were begging for attention. Raven was breathing heavily as she observed Octavia lean over and put one of her nipples in her mouth for the first time.

"Fuuuck..." she moaned as Octavia gently bit her nipple, soothing it with her tongue immediately after that, before she moved to her other breast, repeating the action.

Happy with the way she took care of the upper part of Raven's body, she decided to move south, slowly pushing her legs apart as she sat between her thighs and placed her fingers under the string of her thong.

She bit her lower lip, looking at Raven who was panting as she lifted her hips, allowing Octavia to pull down her underwear.

Octavia's eyes were immediately drawn to the wetness covering Raven's sex, which made her curious about how it would feel to actually taste her and the thought of that turned her on so much, she didn't think twice before she started kissing the inner side of her thighs.

"You don't have to..." Raven managed to say in between moans.

"What?" Octavia looked up.

"It's okay if you're not ready for it..." Raven wanted to make sure Octavia didn't feel pressured to 'return the favor'.

"Oh, I'm definitely ready..." Octavia said with a smirk on her face before she spread Raven's legs wide open and placed a kiss on her smooth pubic bone.

She made herself comfortable, leaning on her elbows as she grabbed Raven's hips and pulled her closer to her mouth. Her tongue quickly found its way to Raven's folds, who released a loud moan at the first contact.

Raven's taste felt incredible in her mouth and she desperately needed more of it, so she moved her tongue up and down all the way to the source of her wetness where she slightly penetrated her with it.

"Oh my God, O... Fuck..." Raven lifted her hips to intensify the penetration and Octavia followed her actions by moving her tongue in and out, deeper and faster.

A few moments later, she moved it up and started making circles around her clitoris at the same time she pushed one finger inside of her, remembering how much she liked it when Raven did the same to her.

The loud sounds of pleasure coming from the Latina were a confirmation that she was doing it right, which was when she added another finger inside and started moving faster and deeper.

"Yeah... Just... like... that... Right there..." Raven was struggling to complete the sentence.

Octavia felt pleased knowing that she was responsible for Raven's pleasure and with each new moan that escaped her throat, she was feeling closer to her own orgasm as well.

Raven couldn't hold it in anymore as Octavia applied the exact amount of pressure with her tongue and fingers she needed to come hard in her mouth.

A whole new wave of arousal passed Octavia's body when she felt the tight walls of Raven's sex around her fingers as she reached her orgasm, releasing the sexiest sounds she had ever heard. She kept her fingers inside her as she straddled her thigh and started moving back a forth, rubbing her clitoris against her skin.

Raven opened her eyes at the pleasent surprise just in time to catch Octavia ride out her second orgasm with her fingers still inside of her.

She fell exhausted on top of Raven after she finally removed her fingers from her sex and she hid her face in the crook of her neck.

"That was so fucking hot..." Raven said in a low voice.

"Mmm... You turn me on so much," Octavia confessed.

"Are you sure this was your first time with a woman?" Raven joked.

"Was I good?" Octavia lifted her head up to look at Raven.

"You were amazing," Raven assured her before she gave her a peck on the lips. "You could've easily fooled me."

"Really? You're not just saying that to make me feel good?" Octavia was still not convinced.

"Octavia... For further reference... When a woman comes as hard as I did a few minutes earlier, it is a pretty good indicator that you're doing something right," she smiled at her.

"Mmm alright... Just for the record, though... The only woman I want to make come is you..." she said before she placed her face back in the crook of Raven's neck.

Raven smiled and held her tight, pressing her lips on the top of Octavia's head.

"Whenever you want..." she said and saw Octavia immediately lift her head up.

"Really?" she asked excitedly, her lips curling into a big smile.

"Sure," Raven smiled back, thinking about how adorable Octavia looked in that exact moment.

"I'm ready!" she exclaimed, making Raven laugh.

"We have the whole night ahead of us..." she winked at Octavia.

"We should get started, then..." Octavia raised her eyebrow as she moved down, placing her head between Raven's legs, eager to absorb her sweet taste in her mouth again.


	30. Someone you love(d)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! :D
> 
> Thank you for being so patient with me, I hope you'll find that it was worth the wait ;)
> 
> Let me know what you think, I'd love to hear from you :)
> 
> <3
> 
> S.

"My God, Ray..." Octavia moaned, leaning with her hands on the bathroom tiles.

Her whole body was on fire as Raven's hands were exploring every single curve, enjoying the way her wet skin felt under her fingertips.

She reached between her legs and moaned when Octavia's warm slickness covered her fingers.

"Fuck... you feel so good..." she whispered in Octavia's ear from behind before she placed her lips on the side of her neck.

The moment she felt Raven's fingers inside of her, Octavia knew for sure she could easily become addicted to those steamy morning showers.

They had spent the whole night getting to know each other in the most intimate way, becoming familiar with all the ways their bodies needed to be touched and Octavia was thrilled to learn that she absolutely loved giving Raven pleasure, and also receiving it.

Up until ten hours ago, Octavia was convinced she wasn't a particularly sexual person, based on her previous experiences, of course.

At the beginning of her sexual awakening, she felt eager to jump into it with her ex Fran, and was not too disappointed when she didn't have an orgasm the first couple of times, as everyone had pretty much told her it wasn't likely to happen. After a while, she had started feeling comfortable enough to touch herself during the act, noticing her ex most certainly didn't mind the view and he didn't think much of it, until he discovered that Octavia was unable to reach her climax any other way. No matter how hard he tried, she simply couldn't get there unless it was on her own, using her hands.

The story repeated itself with the other sex partners she had after him and after a few one-night stands, she decided she was better off by herself, basically accepting the fact that no one would ever be able to give her an orgasm and strangely enough, she thought she had made peace with it.

It was definitely a pleasant surprise to be proven wrong as she felt the warmth of Raven's body on her back and her skilled fingers buried inside of her, simultaneously applying the perfect amount of pressure on her clitoris with her thumb, ultimately leading to yet another mind-blowing orgasm.

"Who knew showering could be this much fun?" she said as they were leaving the bathroom, wearing only towels around their wet bodies.

"Well, it sure did sound like a lot of fun," Clarke's voice startled her, as she wasn't expecting her to be home from her 24-hour shift at the hospital yet.

"Fuck, Clarke... you scared the shit out of me!" Octavia placed her hand on her chest and looked at Clarke who was standing next to the dining table.

"Sorry," Clarke laughed. "I brought breakfast and coffee, though!"

"All is forgiven, then..." Raven joined the conversation and walked into the dining room to check out the goods her roommate had brought home.

"I stopped at our favourite bakery, everything you see on the table is fresh out of the oven," Clarke said proudly. "I figured you could use some fuel," she winked at them.

Raven ogled the different types of pastry with a huge smile on her face. They were served in a big dish in the centre of the table, next to two cups of coffee and one cup of matcha tea.

"Damn, roomie... you did good! Come here," she said excitedly as she approached Clarke to give her a big hug.

Unfortunately for her, and especially for Clarke, the moment she lifted her arms, the towel slid down her body, revealing her nakedness.

"A simple _thank you _would've been fine, actually..." Clarke started laughing as she covered her eyes and stepped back. "Let's hug once you're fully clothed, yeah?"

"Oops!" Raven laughed as she picked up the towel and wrapped it around her body again.

"Let's go get dressed," Octavia was laughing and shaking her head as she grabbed Raven by the hand on their way to the bedroom.

Few minutes later, the three women were enjoying their breakfast and Octavia was telling Clarke the story about the two British guys from the night before.

"I can't believe jerks like that still exist," Clarke was reacting to the comment they had made about her friends.

"I know, right?" Octavia exclaimed before she took a sip of her coffee. "It's like only the women that men consider unattractive are 'allowed' to be lesbians, or what? Fucking idiots..."

"Exactly..." Clarke agreed. "Fuck them... their small minds are not what matters anyway... I'm more interested in how the rest of your evening went..." she smiled and moved her eyebrows up and down repeatedly, looking alternately at Raven and Octavia.

They looked at each other, smiling timidly as their cheeks picked up a slightly reddish tone.

"It was perfect," Raven was the first to comment, her eyes still locked on Octavia.

"It really was..." Octavia added, smiling at Raven.

"Awwwwww... you guys are so cute!" Clarke was thrilled to see her best friends in love.

"Oh, thank you for keeping Raven's letter, by the way..." Octavia remembered to thank her.

"Of course! I thought it was important that you had it," Clarke smiled at her before she took another sip of her tea. "What are your plans for today?"

"We're going supping!" Raven couldn't hide her enthusiasm. "Wanna join us?"

"No way in hell," Clarke laughed. "You know how I feel about water sports."

"Oh, come on... You won't get your ears wet, I promise..." Octavia tried to convince her.

"You didn't mind going swimming every day with Lexa when she was here," Raven teased her.

"That's different!" Clarke defended herself. "Plus, my head was never under water... and she didn't mind at all."

"I bet you'd even go diving for her!" Raven continued.

"Whatever," Clarke stuck her tongue out at her before she finished her tea and stood up to pick up the dirty dishes from the table. "You guys have fun, though... I need to sleep anyway, I had a busy night..." she said on her way to the kitchen.

* * *

It was 8 pm in Sydney and Lexa had just arrived at her friend Marny's house. They had agreed to meet there and have a couple of drinks before they'd join the rest of their friends at the bar.

"I love that you're home!" Marny was excited about spending the weekend with her best friend. "You're sleeping here tonight, right?"

"Of course! I wouldn't dare to break our Saturday night tradition," Lexa smiled as she sat down on the sofa.

"You better not!" Marny pointed her finger at her friend. "So... have you talked to Clarke today?"

"She sent me a text about two hours ago... she was finishing her shift at the hospital," Lexa replied and took a sip of her mimosa.

"Are you still punishing her for what happened?"

"What? I'm not doing that!" Lexa defended herself.

"You sure?" Marny insisted.

"I just need some time to go back to where I was before the incident, you know?"

"And where's that exactly?" Marny inquired, taking a sip of her drink afterwards.

"I don't know... just..." she exhaled. "I want it to be like before, you know? Before I had these thoughts about the two of them together..."

"Lex... They're not together anymore, you know that."

"Of course I do, but still... I saw her there... Her ex. She was so angry, Mar..."

"Everyone's angry when someone breaks up with them, Lex! What's really bothering you here? I know there's something else..." Marny was sure her friend was not telling her everything.

"It's just that... I can't help but wonder if she was ever going to tell me about it... I'm so fucking disappointed she didn't consider it important enough to let me in on it..." Lexa elaborated. "And if she thought I wouldn't care about it, then she doesn't know me at all and maybe all of this just doesn't make sense anymore..."

"Oh... I see what's going on here..." Marny shook her head, smiling.

"What? What do you mean?" Lexa frowned.

"Is it possible that you're not angry at her for not telling you the whole truth, but you are in fact angry at yourself for not being able to stay mad at her?" Marny asked, but didn't wait for an answer before she continued. "Lex... I don't think I've ever seen you fall for someone like this before... and in such short time! Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think your feelings for her are so strong that it actually scares the crap out of you. Not knowing when you'll be able to see each other again must be so hard for the both of you... so now it kind of feels like you're looking for an excuse to push her away so that it wouldn't hurt so much not having her close... Because you're actually dying to wake up next to her, day after day, to spend more time with her and plan a future together... am I right?"

Lexa was absorbing every single word that came out of her friend's mouth, finding it quite interesting to see her own subconscious being transformed into words right in front of her eyes. Marny really knew her to a point that only few people in her life had ever gotten close to reaching, but never to the extent that they'd be able to basically read her mind the way her best friend seemed to be able to do it.

They had met about thirteen years ago when Marny and Maia were starring in an Australian children's television series, produced by Lexa's mother and they had an instant connection. Back then, Lexa had a small role on another show and was pretty much on the fence about acting, as she was becoming more drawn to music.

The three of them had been inseparable ever since, so much that Marny and Lexa moved to Los Angeles together, being joined by Maia shortly after.

Marny didn't stay long in the United States, after deciding that it was not her cup of tea after all, so she returned to Australia where she starred in some independent films. She came from a wealthy family and acting was more or less her hobby, whereas Lexa ended up developing a strong passion for it and stayed in the business. The downside of it was that they only got to see each other once or twice a year, but they made sure to always keep themselves updated on the new developments in their lives, which was why their friendship was still going strong after all those years.

Lexa looked at her friend's light blue eyes, still processing her words in her head and was working on the answer, when an incoming message lit up the screen of her phone.

"The blonde Aussie came to the rescue?" Marny joked, seeing the smile on Lexa's face when she realized the message was from Clarke.

"My knight in shining armour," Lexa winked at her friend and proceeded to unlock the screen and read the message.

**Text message**

_Clarke __(8:16 pm)__:_  
"I heard Raven and Octavia having sex in the bathroom! 🤭"

Lexa smiled as she started typing.

_Lexa __(8:16 pm)__:_  
"Their date went pretty well, then! 😁 I kind of envy them, though 😕"

_Clarke __(8:16 pm)__:_  
"Looks like it 😉 Yeah... me too 😞 I miss you..."

_Lexa __(8:17 pm)__:_  
"I miss you too 😘 Are you girls hanging out at home?"

_Clarke __(8:17 pm)__:_  
"They went to the beach... I didn't feel like going. Plus, I'm working on something 😜"

_Lexa __(8:17 pm)_ _:_  
"Yeah? Do tell!"

_Clarke __(8:17 pm)_ _:_  
"I should have it done by tomorrow... Video chat maybe?"

_Lexa __(8:17 pm)__:_  
"Sure 😊 Call me when you wake up, yeah?"

_Clarke __(8:18 pm):_  
"Sounds good! 😃 Have fun tonight! Talk to you tomorrow 😘"

_Lexa __(8:18 pm)__:_  
"Thanks! You too 😘"

By the time Lexa sent the last message, Marny had already freshened their drinks and was patiently waiting for her friend to finish texting.

"Sorry about that," Lexa apologized as she laid the phone on the coffee table and grabbed her mimosa.

"No problem," Marny smiled. "So..."

"So..." Lexa raised her eyebrows.

"I wish you could see your face every time you get a text from her, Lex..."

"I know, I know..." Lexa smiled and tilted her head down. "When I was in Spain... It was amazing, Mar... being with her feels so fucking good. We just click, you know? I feel like I can talk to her about everything and she makes me feel so loved... and sexy! And the sex... Oh my God, the sex... it's mind-blowing!" she smiled and took a big sip of her drink.

"That's great, Lex... I'm really glad you found someone who makes you feel that way..."

"But...?"

"But... you two need to talk and maybe make some long-term plans," Marny continued. "It's the only way this could work..."

"She has her whole life in Spain, though..." Lexa expressed her concern.

"You can try long distance at first... maybe she can come see you and then you go see her again..." Marny suggested. "You'll see how it goes after a while and..."

"And then what?" Lexa interrupted her. "I can't quit my job and I can't ask her to move to the U.S. for me..."

"Lexa... If she loves you, and I'm pretty sure she does... you won't even have to ask..."

Lexa took it all in and nodded at her friend, thankful for her support she knew she could always count on. Things were definitely a bit clearer after talking to Marny and for the first time after leaving Spain she felt hopeful about her relationship with Clarke.

* * *

Back in Marbella, Clarke spent the whole Saturday recording the song she had started writing after the big fight with Lexa and was very pleased with the result after putting the final touches to it using the program she had received as a gift from her favourite brunette. She went to bed exhausted, but excited to play it for her the next morning.

Meanwhile, Raven and Octavia had spent the whole day doing water sports and sunbathing. By the end of the day, they were at Octavia's apartment and she was cooking dinner for them while Raven was taking a shower. As soon as she finished, she put on some clean underwear and an oversized t-shirt before she joined Octavia in the kitchen.

"Mmm it smells so good in here..." she said as she sat at the kitchen island.

"I'm making marinated tofu with vegetables," Octavia smiled as she passed her a bottle of beer.

"Thank you," Raven smiled back and took a sip. "I could get used to this..."

"I'm counting on it," Octavia turned around and winked at her. "They say the way to one's heart is through their stomach, right?" she said as she served the food on the plates.

"Well..." Raven raised her eyebrow and looked at Octavia. "It's definitely working..."

Octavia felt a pleasant heat spread from her chest, up her neck, all the way to her cheeks as she sat next to Raven and gave her a kiss before they started eating.

Once they were done, Raven offered to do the dishes, so that Octavia could take a shower in the meantime. As soon as she got out of the shower, she went to the bedroom where she found the Latina lying completely naked on the bed, leaning with her head on the palm of her hand, waiting for her.

Pleased with the view, Octavia's lips curled into a sexy smile and she dropped the towel, enjoying the way Raven's eyes filled up with lust as they scanned her naked, wet body.

"You're fucking stunning..." she was mesmerized by the view. "Come here..."

Octavia walked over to the bed and hastily climbed on top of Raven who was eager to feel her lips on hers.

They engaged in a passionate kiss, the temperature in the room rising with each new stroke of their tongues as their hands made sure to leave no spot on their skin untouched.

Raven made a maneuver to change their positions, getting Octavia under her and she spread her legs before leaning back on her hands. She then intertwined their legs and pressed her wet pussy on Octavia's, feeling her warm slickness mix with her own as she moved up and down, back and forth, increasing the friction between them.

"Fuck... that feels so good..." Octavia tilted her head back onto the pillow, a loud moan escaping her throat.

She lifted her hips and copied Raven's movements, the pleasure taking over her every time she pushed against her. Soon they were rubbing each other's sexes almost erratically as the orgasm was starting to build up inside of them.

"Ahh... Come with me..." Raven managed to say in between moans.

Octavia lifted her upper body just enough to lean on her forearms and control the pressure on her sex. A few moments later she was ready for that sweet release, seeing that Raven was also very close.

"I'm... coming... fuck..." she moaned.

"Yeah... come for me, _baby_..." Raven felt her own orgasm taking over her body the moment she saw Octavia's head fall back as she reached her climax, releasing the most beautiful sounds of pleasure.

They fell exhausted and sweaty on the mattress, trying to calm down their breathing after the intense 'exercise'. Not long after, they were lying on their side, facing each other as Raven's fingers were tracing invisible patterns on Octavia's skin.

"So... scissoring is actually a real thing," Octavia broke the silence, making Raven laugh.

"Why did you think it wasn't?" she asked.

"I don't know... I thought it was a myth..." she explained. "What are your thoughts on sex toys, by the way?"

"They can be fun," Raven smiled at Octavia's curiosity. "Why? Are you bored with our sex already?" she teased her.

"Maybe..." Octavia joked and started laughing when Raven gently shoved her shoulder. "No, it's just that... the only toy I've ever used is my vibrator and I never even thought I'd be interested in expanding my experience... But with you, it's like I can't wait to try everything..."

"Babe..." Raven cupped her cheek with her hand. "We have all the time in the world," they smiled softly at each other as she leaned into a kiss, pulling Octavia closer.

They fell asleep quickly after that, naked under the sheets and with their arms and legs wrapped around each other.

* * *

The next morning, Clarke was already up at 8 am, very excited to have a video chat with Lexa who she hoped had been anxiously waiting for it as well. The moment she saw her smiling face on the screen, she knew she'd been right and it gave her the courage she needed to sing her new song to Lexa.

**Video call**

_Lexa:_  
"I almost drunk texted you last night," she confessed.

_Clarke:_  
"Really?" Clarke's face lit up. "Why didn't you?"

_Lexa:_  
"Marny wouldn't let me... and I'm very grateful for it, because... oh, boy..." she started laughing.

_Clarke:_  
"That bad, huh?" Clarke joined her. "Now I'm curious! Tell me!"

_Lexa:_  
"I don't remember all of it... but I think it was something about your eyes and about wanting to have breakfast with you..."

_Clarke:_  
"Awwww so sweet!"

_Lexa:_  
"Yeah... and then something about your boobs," she laughed.

_Clarke:_  
"Of course," she laughed out loud. "Tipsy Lexa number four!"

_Lexa:_  
"Huh?" Lexa lowered her brows, looking confused. "Number four?"

_Clarke:_  
"Yes... You see, I've seen three versions of 'tipsy Lexa' so far," she explained. "Number one was the sexy, confident Lexa in Paris, seducing me as she took off her clothes in the hotel room..." she could see her cheeks flush at the memory and found it adorable. "Tipsy Lexa number two was when you sent me a voice message on your birthday, a mixture of cute and shy, but also brave, because that was the first time you told me you liked me... Number three was the bossy Commander Heda..." Lexa's lips widened into a smile. "I don't think I have to remind you of that one," Clarke winked at her before she continued. "And I suppose number four would have been the tipsy Lexa from last night... I would describe her as romantically horny," they both started laughing.

_Lexa:_  
"Well... I see you've put some thought into it... But I'm pretty sure I would've made a complete fool out of myself... I was waaaaay past tipsy."

_Clarke:_  
"I find everything you do adorable," Clarke said with a soft smile on her face. "No matter the state you're in."

_Lexa:_  
"Hmmm... even if I peed my pants?" Lexa raised her eyebrows playfully.

_Clarke:_  
"Even if you pooped your pants!" Clarke was quick to reply.

_Lexa:_  
"Ewwww!" Lexa pretended to be grossed out before she started laughing.

_Clarke:_  
"You started it!" Clarke laughed as well. "So... you had fun, then?"

_Lexa:_  
"I did, yes... I hadn't seen most of my friends in a very long time, it was quite nice, actually... What did you do? Did you finish that thing you said you'd have ready for today?" she couldn't hide the excitement on her face.

_Clarke:_  
"I'm glad you had a great time," Clarke smiled. "And... yes. It's done. Would you like to hear it?"

_Lexa:_  
"I was hoping it would be a song! It's a song, isn't it?" a huge smile found its way on Lexa's lips.

_Clarke:_  
"It is, yes..." Clarke was smiling as well, although she could feel the nerves in her stomach. "I... um... Well, I actually wrote it while you were still in Spain... I just finished recording it yesterday and made some last minute changes..."

_Lexa:_  
"Really? When did you manage to do that?" she was confused. "We even took showers together... and I know I never needed more than five minutes to do anything else I needed to do without you in the bathroom..." they both smiled at Lexa's words.

_Clarke:_  
"It was on Monday morning, actually... the day before you left..." she answered reluctantly, afraid that Lexa's mood would change after mentioning that period, or even worse, she might hate the song.

_Lexa:_  
"Oh..." the smile on her face was not as wide anymore. "Of course..."

_Clarke:_  
"I'm sorry... Maybe this was a bad idea..."

_Lexa:_  
'No, no... Please... I'd really like to hear it," Lexa insisted, keeping the smile on her face.

_Clarke:_  
"I don't know..." all the courage seemed to have left Clarke's body.

_Lexa:_  
"Clarke... Please... Look, I know we still haven't worked through it all, but that doesn't mean that we should pretend it never happened, right? Plus, the song might actually help... it could give me an insight into your thoughts and feelings from that period, you know?"

Clarke looked at the screen and could only see kindness, sincerity and love in Lexa's eyes, and before she knew it, the newfound bravery led her hands to the guitar, grabbing it and placing it on her lap.

_Clarke:_  
"You're absolutely right," she smiled at her. "I suppose if you like the song, then at least something good came out of it..."

_Lexa:_  
"I'm sure I'll love it," she said kindly, melting Clarke's heart and making her blush.

_Clarke:_  
"I'll play it for you first... and then, if you'd like, I can send you the recording I made with the program you gave me."

_Lexa:_  
"I'd love that," she said as she leaned on the bed, making herself comfortable for Clarke's performance.

_Clarke:_  
"Okay... here we go," she said as she placed the phone on the nightstand and started playing the melody.

_ (This song is by Lewis Capaldi, I just made a cover because I think it fits perfectly for Clarke and Lexa's situation after their first fight.) _ _: _

_ **Lyrics:** _

_ Someone you loved _

_Verse 1_

_I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to save me_   
_This all or nothing really got a way of driving me crazy_   
_I need somebody to heal_   
_Somebody to know_   
_Somebody to have_   
_Somebody to hold_   
_It's easy to say_   
_But it's never the same_   
_I guess I kinda liked the way you numbed all the pain_

_Chorus:_

_Now the day bleeds_   
_Into nightfall_   
_And you're not here_   
_To get me through it all_   
_I let my guard down_   
_And then you pulled the rug_   
_I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved_

_Verse 2_

_I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to turn to_   
_This all or nothing way of loving got me sleeping without you_   
_Now, I need somebody to know_   
_Somebody to heal_   
_Somebody to have_   
_Just to know how it feels_

_It's easy to say but it's never the same_   
_I guess I kinda liked the way you helped me escape_

_Chorus:_

_Now the day bleeds_   
_Into nightfall_   
_And you're not here_   
_To get me through it all_   
_I let my guard down_   
_And then you pulled the rug_   
_I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved_

_Bridge_

_And I tend to close my eyes when it hurts sometimes_   
_I fall into your arms_   
_I'll be safe in your sound 'til you come back around_

_Chorus:_

_For now the day bleeds_   
_Into nightfall_   
_And you're not here_   
_To get me through it all_   
_I let my guard down_   
_And then you pulled the rug_   
_I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved_

_I let my guard down_   
_And then you pulled the rug_   
_I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved_   
  


Clarke's eyes were shut throughout the song, she was too nervous to look at Lexa while singing, still afraid to see her reaction to it. Instead, she focused on going back to that feeling of complete despair when she believed she had lost her forever because of her own not well thought actions, so she poured her soul into every word that came out of her mouth, surrounded by the sound of her fingers moving through the strings of her guitar.

A few seconds after she played the last chord of the song, she managed to somehow open her eyes and she finally looked at the screen. She could clearly see tears falling down Lexa's cheeks at the same time the brunette rushed to wipe them off with the back of her hands, and in that moment Clarke was afraid she had made a terrible mistake writing that song, and even a worse one, singing it to Lexa.

She left the guitar on the bed and grabbed the phone, ready to beg her for forgiveness when she saw a big smile on Lexa's face.

_Lexa:_  
"Wow! Clarke..." the blonde was surprised to see that there was no sadness in Lexa's eyes. "That was amazing! I'm still in shock, really..."

_Clarke:_  
"You... you like it?" she was afraid to ask.

_Lexa:_  
"Are you serious?" Lexa couldn't believe Clarke could possibly think she wouldn't like it. "It's sooo good! I couldn't stop my tears, because I really felt every word... and the melody was simply perfect... I don't know how you do it, really..."

_Clarke:_  
"It's been a while since I've written two songs in such short time... but I have _you_ to thank for that..." she paused. "You... inspire me."

They both smiled timidly, realizing once again how much they meant to one another.

_Lexa:_  
"If you're going to write amazing songs like this one every time we fight, then I think we should maybe do it more often," she joked.

_Clarke:_  
"No!" she exclaimed. "Please, no... I'd rather not write another song ever again than to have even one more fight with you..." she said with a subtle smile on her lips as she found Lexa's eyes on the screen.

They stared at each other for a few moments, enjoying the comfortable silence as they let Clarke's words sink in a little longer, understanding the magnitude of the feelings they had for each other.

Lexa knew how much Clarke regretted the mistake she had made and in that exact moment, lost in the ocean blue eyes shining through the phone screen, she made a promise to herself that she would work harder on getting over it, as she wanted nothing more than to make this wonderful person happy and felt blessed that she got to experience how it felt to be loved by Clarke.

_Lexa:_  
"I love you, baby..." she said and saw the instant happiness that landed on the blonde's face, making her even more beautiful, if that were possible.

_Clarke:_  
"I love you too."

In that moment, the fear of losing Lexa was pushed out of Clarke's head as she captured every single expression on the brunette's face and created a special place for that memory in her brain where she knew should could go to every time she felt that same fear crawling back inside. Because if it did, all she had to was to remember that exact moment and the way Lexa's lovely features were covered in the most intoxicating and most powerful thing in the world: LOVE.


	31. Girlfriend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!  
Here's another chapter to thank all of you who are still sticking with the story, it really means a lot! <3  
There will be more Clexa moments in the next few chapters, don't worry ;)
> 
> Have a great weekend!
> 
> S.

On Monday morning, Clarke and Octavia were enjoying their breakfast on the terrace of the hospital cafeteria, as they had decided to meet earlier than usual because of Clarke's curiosity. She was eager to hear the details about Octavia's weekend with Raven, more specifically about her first experience with a woman.

"So... have you mastered the art of lesbian love-making yet?" Clarke asked playfully.

"Getting there," Octavia smiled. "But seriously, though... I'm almost 28 and I have no idea why I have been wasting my time on men."

"That good, huh?" Clarke laughed.

"I'm serious!" Octavia insisted. "I wish someone had told me years ago that the reason I didn't have good sex with men was because I wasn't attracted to them..."

"At all?" Clarke was a bit surprised. "Are you saying you might be... gay?"

"I think so..." Octavia said quietly. "I mean, how else would you explain that no guy has ever made me come, whereas Raven just rubs my clit with her thigh and I have an orgasm in less than two minutes?"

"Oh, yes... the premature orgasm," they both laughed out loud.

"I swear, sometimes she just takes her clothes off and it turns me on so much that I think I might be able to come just like that... simply watching her... no touching needed," she confessed, an instant arousal poking her in the lower abdomen, spreading to the diaphragm as a spasm and leaving her breathless for a few seconds.

"I know exactly what you mean... I'm the same with Lexa... Ever since our first kiss," Clarke smiled nostalgically. "So... How was your first time with Ray? I need details!"

"Oh, Clarke... It was unbelievable!" Octavia was leaning with her elbow on the table, her head resting on the palm of her hand. "Remember how nervous I was, right?"Clarke nodded. "Well, once we started, it was like we connected immediately and I knew exactly what I was supposed to do... I didn't even think, I just went along with it and did what my body needed me to do, you know?"

"I do, yes... It's the best feeling when you have such good chemistry with someone..."

"It was amazing... All of it!" Octavia said excitedly. "And when I went down on her... Holy shit, Clarke... Major turn on! I mean, with men, I only tried it couple of times with Fran and I hated it... But with Raven..." she bit her lip, smiling and remembering the Latina's taste in her mouth. "I didn't want to stop!"

"You, my dear friend..." Clarke said while shaking her head, "are definitely gay..."

"Told ya," Octavia shrugged and they both laughed out loud. "Hey, I wanted to ask you..."

"Mmm?" Clarke was taking a sip of her tea.

"Have you done anal?" Octavia asked bluntly and Clarke almost choked. "You ok?"

"Yes, yes... You just surprised me a little, that's all..." she answered after clearing her throat. "I have done it, yes... You?"

"I haven't... But I want to try... Do you like it?"

"I do... I prefer giving it, though... It's a big turn on, actually... But when I'm on the receiving end, it doesn't actually do much for me... Maybe just a light stimulation..." she explained to Octavia, who was listening attentively.

"Interesting..." she nodded. "Do you use toys as well or just your fingers?"

"Both... I have one of those beaded anal dildos and I've done it with a strap on as well..."

"What about anulingus? Rimming?" Octavia continued with the questions.

"You've been doing some research, huh?" Clarke was amused by Octavia's curiosity.

"Maybe..." she tilted her head down, blushing.

"That's good," Clarke wanted to let her know that she had nothing to be ashamed of. "Discovering your likes and dislikes is great, it's how you get to know your body better... And to answer your question... I love it."

"Giving or receiving?"

"Both."

"Yeah? What... Um... What is it like? I mean... You know..." Octavia was unsure how to ask what she wanted to know.

"You mean taste-wise?" Clarke helped her out and received a nod from Octavia. "In my experience, it actually didn't taste or smell like anything... Just like regular skin," she explained. "I've only done it with two different people, though..."

"Is Lexa one of them?"

"Yes..." Clarke confirmed. "We did it on our roadtrip... In Sevilla. You have to completely trust the person you're doing it with... It's the only way you'll be able to enjoy it."

"Did she like it?" Octavia wanted to know.

"She did, yes..." Clarke smiled. "It was funny at first, because she wasn't expecting it at all and I just went for it... And she kind of twitched when my tongue was almost there and she turned around to see what I was doing... So I just told her I wanted to try something if she'd let me... And she did..."

"Wow... That's amazing! I think I'm going to do it with Raven," she said enthusiastically.

"What are you going to do with Raven?" Octavia's body stiffened when she heard her cousin's voice behind them.

She looked at Clarke, who widened her eyes at the unexpected company, as Juanmi was about to sit across the table.

"Um..." Octavia was working hard on finding an acceptable answer when she noticed the logo of Málaga's _Zurich __Marathon_ on Juanmi's t-shirt, deciding to go with that. "The marathon in Málaga," she finally replied.

"Really?" Juanmi was surprised. "How come? I was begging you to do it with me last year and you wouldn't even consider it."

"Well, I'm warming up to the idea of doing it this year," Octavia continued with the lie.

"If you're serious about it, you should start training very soon... It's on the 15th of december," Juanmi said. "But check the deadline first, you might be too late... I signed up months ago."

"Hey, that's the weekend before your birthday!" Clarke added.

"There you go! It could be my own present for my birthday," she winked at Clarke and they both laughed at the fact that they were taking the lie a bit too far.

"So Raven is going, then?" Juamni asked.

"I think I heard her say that she was, yeah... I was just mentioning it to O," Clarke had no choice but to follow the course of the invented story.

"She's probably just doing it to pick up some new folks," he said before he took a bite of his sandwich. "Marbella's 'dating pool' is probably too small for her..." he commented in a mockery tone, his mouth still full of food.

"Hey!" Clarke was quick to react. "I don't appreciate you disrespecting my friend. She can do whatever she wants without being slut-shamed by you, or anyone else for that matter."

"Whoa whoa..." Juanmi raised his hands in surrender. "I'm just saying... Didn't mean anything by it, really..."

"It sounded pretty judgy, though..." Octavia interfered.

"Hey, not at all," Juanmi defended himself. "I'm not judging... Everyone has the right to be who they are, and Raven simply has more of a, let's say... Wild lifestyle," he tried to explain himself. "She's just not the type of person who would want to settle down, be in a monogamous relationship and raise a family, you know what I mean?" he took another bite after he stopped speaking.

"Not everyone wants that, you know? And there's nothing wrong with it," Clarke was provoked by the condescending tone in Juanmi's voice. "Anyhow, you don't really know Raven, you have no idea what she's been through and can't possible know what she wants or doesn't want out of life."

Before Juanmi could reply, Clarke stood up, determined to leave before he could say something that could ruin her day.

"I have to go," she looked at Octavia. "Talk to you later, ok?" she waved at them as she left the cafeteria.

Juanmi was a bit shocked by Clarke's reaction, watching her leave before he spoke again, this time to Octavia.

"What was that all about?"

"You were being a judgemental jerk and she was defending her friend," Octavia answered calmly.

"Oh, come on... You still think they're _just_ friends?" he laughed sarcastically.

"I don't think that... I _know_ it," Octavia was becoming more irritated by the second.

"Pffff... No way... There's definitely something going on between them, I'm sure... And poor Clarke has fallen in love with Raven, who's only going to play with her feelings until she gets bored with her and then she'll just dump her for the next 'challenge'..."

Octavia's anger was slowly taking over her and she felt like she could punch her cousin in the face for talking trash about the woman she was in love with, so she the decided to do the more reasonable thing instead.

"You're an idiot," she said to him as she stood up and walked away.

Juanmi had no idea what he had said wrong, but was not too concerned about it, as he was unaware of the important role that Raven had in his cousin's life.

* * *

By the time Octavia caught up with her, Clarke was already in the conference room, about twenty minutes early for the morning meeting of the medical staff.

"Hey," Octavia approached the blonde and sat next to her.

"Sorry I left like that..." Clarke said as she put away her phone in the white coat's side pocket. "I just couldn't be around him anymore..."

"Yeah, me neither... He was being a total jerk."

"I can't wait to see the look on his face when you tell him that Raven is actually your girlfriend," Clarke clapped her hands excitedly.

"Um..." Octavia's cheeks were burning. "We haven't really defined our relationship yet..."

"Oh, come on..." Clarke gave her a nudge. "Of course she's your girlfriend!"

"Is Lexa yours?" Octavia raised an eyebrow, challenging Clarke.

"Well... I mean... That's different..." she didn't quite know how to answer that question.

"How is it different?" Octavia wasn't going to let it go.

"We live on different continents, for starters..."

"So? You wouldn't be the first couple doing a long distance relationship, you know?"

"I know, but still... I did that once and it didn't work out... And I never thought I'd find myself in that situation again..." Clarke sighed.

"Yet, here you are..." Octavia said playfully.

"Don't change the subject!" Clarke laughed. "We were talking about you."

In that moment Octavia felt her phone vibrate in the pocket of her white coat, so she quickly took it out and unlocked the screen.

"Is it your girlfriend?" Clarke teased her.

"Shut up!" Octavia shoved her shoulder, unable to hide the big smile that lit her face as she opened the text message from Raven.

**Text** ** message:**

_Raven (8:42 __am__):_  
"I can't stop thinking about you 😳"

_Octavia (8:42 __am__):_  
"Yeah? 😊 Anything in particular? 😏"

_Raven (8:43 __am__):_  
"Is this your attempt at _sexting_? 😝"

_Octavia (8:43 am):_  
"Maybe 😎"

_Raven (8:43 am):_  
"You're insatiable! And naughty! 😆 I like it 😏"

_Octavia (8:43 am):_  
"Naughty? Me? 😇😜"

_Raven (8:44 am):_  
"Yup... Good girls don't do the things we did last night 🤭"

_Octavia (8:44 am):_  
"Don't remind me! 🤤🙈 I'm dying to see you, Ray..."

_Raven (8:44 am):_  
"Me too 😘 Pizza and chill by the pool after work?"

_Octavia (8:45 am):_  
"Yes, please 😊 And orgasm for dessert?"

_Raven (8:45 am):_  
"Yes, please 😁 Have a good day at work ❤️"

_Octavia (8:45 am):_  
"You too ❤️"

Octavia put the phone back in her pocket and soon after that, the rest of the Traumatology department's medical staff occupied the empty chairs in the conference room, ready to start the morning meeting.

* * *

The afternoon went by quickly and Octavia was having so much fun with Clarke and Raven that she pretty much forgot about Juanmi's comments earlier that day.

It had certainly crossed her mind throughout the morning, making her wonder if her cousin would ever accept her relationship with Raven. She was really hoping that he would, especially because she way as counting on him to help her out when she would _out_ herself to the rest of her family.

And that was when it dawned on her: she would have to face her parents and come out of the closet.

While the thought of it pretty much terrified her, at the same time she couldn't help but feel excited about it, wondering what it would actually feel like to be unapologetically herself, finally accepting all those parts of her that had remained hidden for far too long. And who knew if she would've ever gotten to that point if she hadn't met Raven, whose lips she was now ogling as she was saying something that Octavia was not even putting an effort to understand, being too busy imagining her own breast inside the Latina's mouth, gently nibbling on her nipple.

"Hello?" Raven waved her hand in front of Octavia's face, trying to get her attention.

"Huh? What?" Octavia got off the train of thoughts and focused on Raven's voice.

"Where did you go?" Raven laughed.

"She was probably imagining you naked," Clarke joined the conversation, still inside the pool.

"Were you, now?" Raven put her arms around Octavia's waist and tilted her head to the side. "But I'm not even wearing clothes right now..."

"As much as I like how good this bikini looks on you, I still prefer to see you naked," Octavia wrapped her arms around the Latina's neck and winked at her playfully before giving her a quick kiss on the lips.

"And as much as I love the fact that my two best friends have fallen madly in love, what you are doing right now feels like eating a delicious meal in front of a very hungry person!" Clarke joked.

"I think it's more accurate to say you're starving, Clarkie..." Raven was quick to reply, letting go of Octavia as they both sat by the pool.

"I'm famished, Ray... Famished!" Clarke said theatrically and they all laughed.

"How long has it been now?" Octavia asked.

"Exactly one week..."

"Oh... you poor thing," Raven said in a sarcastic tone, receiving a splash of water as punishment.

"We have to cheer her up, Ray! Why don't we go out on Friday night?" Octavia suggested excitedly.

"Yes! I'm in!" Raven agreed instantly. "What do you say, Clarke?"

"Sure, why not..." she shrugged as she was getting out of the pool.

"Good, it's a deal then!" Raven said as she stood up and helped Octavia get up on her feet as well. "Babe, I'm gonna go get ready for the gym, I'm meeting Ricky in fifteen minutes... and maybe you'd like to do something after?" she asked while raising an eyebrow.

"Hmmm..." Octavia had a pensive look on her face as she intertwined her fingers behind Raven's neck. "Tell you what... why don't you come to my place afterwards and I'm pretty sure we'll find something to _do_..." she said suggestively.

"Sold!" Raven's lips widened into a big smile. "I'll see you later!" she gave her a peck on the lips before she hurried back to the apartment.

Clarke was observing the situation, wiping the water off her body with a towel and felt happy for her friends, even more when she saw the goofy smile on Octavia's face as she was watching Raven walk away from them.

"Babe, huh?" Clarke couldn't resist to tease her.

"Shut up!" Octavia laughed as she started picking up her things, trying to hide her flushed cheeks.

* * *

About two hours later she was at home, sitting on the sofa with a glass of wine in her hand and anxiously waiting for Raven, wearing nothing but a black, mid-thigh, v-cut satin robe.

Her heart started racing the moment she heard the doorbell and she rushed to buzz the Latina in.

Octavia grabbed the two glasses of wine after leaving the door ajar and leaned on the kitchen island.

"Hello?" she heard Raven's voice just a few moments later.

"In the kitchen!" Octavia shouted and couldn't help but bite her lower lip, excited to see the look on the Latina's face.

Raven entered the kitchen and almost drooled when she saw Octavia looking at her seductively, holding two glasses of white wine. Her eyes were immediately drawn to the naked skin between her breasts, discretely revealed by the slightly loosened robe, not caring at all for being so obvious.

Octavia was pleased with the elicited response, especially when Raven lowered her eyes to her toned legs, all the way down to her feet and she smiled contently when the Latina's jaw dropped the moment she noticed that Octavia was wearing high heels.

"Thirsty?" she reached towards Raven, offering her a glass of wine.

Raven managed to close her mouth and slowly walked over to where Octavia was standing, keeping the intense eye contact.

"I am, yes..." she said after clearing her throat and took the glass from Octavia's hand. "But not for this..."

She left the glass of wine on the counter without even taking a sip and then grabbed Octavia by the waist, lifted her up and sat her on the kitchen island.

They were staring at each other, their breathing becoming heavier as Raven's hands moved from Octavia's waist down her thighs, over the smooth material which was now covering only a small portion of the upper part of her legs.

She spread them apart rather hastily and could feel her clitoris throbbing when the robe slid aside just enough to reveal Octavia's naked pussy.

"Damn, O... Do you want to kill me?" she asked and licked her lips.

"No... I want to fuck you," she said in a sexy voice moments before Raven mashed her lips against hers.

They were kissing passionately, as if they needed each other more than oxygen and as if they had no intent of stopping anytime soon.

Raven groaned when Octavia bit her lower lip, a little more harshly than usual, but she didn't mind at all, in fact she welcomed everything that the brunette had to offer.

Her lips then travelled down her neck at the same time her hands unhooked the tie waist and slid under the robe.

Octavia moaned as she felt Raven's hands on her abdomen, moving up slowly almost at the same speed her lips were approaching her breasts.

She grabbed them tight and trapped one of her nipples in her mouth, pleased with the sounds that were coming out of Octavia's mouth as the latter pulled her hair and tilted her head backwards.

"Fuck, Ray..." she moaned louder the moment Raven moved to the other nipple.

Shorty after, she kissed her way down Octavia's abdomen, approaching her mons pubis and skipping her sex intentionally to make her even more desperate. Instead, she started leaving kisses on the inner side of her thigh all the way to her ankle.

Lifting Octavia's legs, she forced her to lean back on her hands as she began her way back to where she was most needed, this time following an invisible trail up the other leg.

As soon as her head was between Octavia's thighs, she didn't wait before burying her tongue inside her folds, covered in her arousal.

"Mmmm... You taste so good," she said in between moans as she grabbed her glutes and pulled her closer to the edge of the counter.

The sounds of pleasure leaving Octavia's throat were becoming louder with each new stroke of Raven's tongue, and she was about to place one finger at her entrance when she suddenly felt Octavia's hands grab the back of her head, pulling her closer.

Octavia's hips started moving up and down and she couldn't stop the orgasm that spread through her body, feeling the increased pressure of Raven's tongue directly on her clitoris.

After riding out the post-orgasmic aftershocks, she loosened the grip on Raven's hair, allowing her to straighten up.

She quickly cupped her cheeks with her hands and wiped the evidence of her arousal off Raven's face before giving her a soft kiss on the lips.

"Let's go to the bedroom," she whispered.

Raven nodded and they both drank up their wine before the started walking in the direction of the bedroom.

Octavia knew exactly what she wanted to do that night, so it didn't take long before Raven was sitting on her face, enjoying the way she was looking at her from below.

She was moving her hips sensually, feeling Octavia's hands on her behind at the same time her tongue was exploring her folds and was surprised when she suddenly felt Octavia's finger at the entrance of her anus.

At first she didn't say anything, thinking she'd eventually realize she was at the wrong entrance, but instead of moving away, Octavia pushed the tip of her finger inside.

"Babe... You're at the wrong hole..." she decided to speak up, still _riding_ Octavia's face.

Octavia made an eye contact and simply shook her head before she pushed a little deeper as she pressed her tongue directly on Raven's clitoris.

Raven moaned louder, becoming even more aroused the moment she figured out Octavia's intentions.

She smiled softly as she tightened her grip on the headboard, giving Octavia permission to continue.

Her finger was about halfway in when Raven felt the slow, but steady build up that made her move her hips faster until she reached her climax; an all-consuming feeling that took over her body until the _spasms_ finally stopped, allowing her to move away from Octavia's face and fall down on her back.

As her breathing was starting to calm down, she turned her head to the side and locked eyes with Octavia, who was lying on her side, with her arm around Raven's body.

"Was that okay?" Octavia was the first to speak.

"Which part?" Raven smiled.

"All of it..."

"It was a lot more than just _okay_..." Raven winked at her. "I love having sex with you."

"Is... Um..." Octavia was reluctant to open the subject that had been on her mind lately. "Actually, never mind..."

"What?" Raven was intrigued. "O... What is it?"

"Nothing, it's just that I was wondering if that's all that you love doing with me... Sex..." she said softly, her voice sounding a bit insecure.

"Are you serious?" Raven turned to her side to face Octavia. "Of course not... I love doing absolutely everything with you!"

"You do?" Octavia's lips curled into a timid smile.

"Yes, very much! I thought it was obvious..."

"No, yes... I mean, yes..." Octavia laughed at her own confusion. "The thing is, Clarke was teasing me today about you being my... Well, you know..."

"Um... I don't..." Raven had a pretty clear idea of where the conversation was going, but she needed to hear it from Octavia.

"My..." she paused again, wondering if Raven could see the redness displayed on her cheeks. "Girlfriend..."

"And what did you say to her?" she was determined to see if Octavia's cheeks could acquire an ever darker shade of red.

"Nothing really... I wasn't sure what were your thoughts on the subject..."

"Well... I had a bit similar conversation with Ricky today," Raven said, noticing Octavia's eyes become wider.

"About us?"

"Yes... He wanted to know why I have been in such good mood lately," Raven smiled as she moved a strand of Octavia's hair behind her ear.

"What did you say?"

"I told him I was in love... I didn't say that it was you, though... I wanted to talk to you before telling anyone else..." she explained.

"You're so thoughtful..." Octavia couldn't believe her luck. "Just when I thought I couldn't be more in love with you..."

Raven smiled and leaned into a soft kiss before continuing with the conversation.

"So... Does that answer your question, then?"

"I think so..." Octavia was trying to make Raven say it first.

"Oh, I see... We're doing it this way, then..." Raven laughed and saw Octavia nod at her repeatedly. "Okay, then Ms. Romero... Would you like to be my girlfriend?"

"Hmmm... Let me think about it..." Octavia laughed out loud when Raven climbed on top and started tickling her. "Stooop, pleaaase..." she couldn't stop laughing.

"Need more time to think?" Raven stopped with the tickles, keeping a huge smile on her face.

"That's no way to treat your girlfriend, young lady!" Octavia stuck out her tongue at Raven, making her laugh.

"I guess I got my answer, then..." she climbed down and lay next to Octavia again.

"Yes... and yes..." she smiled. "Now I can tell Clarke that she was right."

"What else did you two talk about?" Raven was curious.

"Um... Nothing much, really..." Octavia started blushing again.

"You know I can tell when you're lying, right?" Raven smiled at Octavia's cuteness. "Sex stuff, am I right?"

"Ugh... I have a terrible poker face..." Octavia sighed. "Yes, we talked about it... I'm sure you did too..."

"Of course, we talk about sex all the time..." Raven confirmed casually. "So... Was it her idea to do what you did tonight?"

"What do you mean?"

"Um... Anal?"

"Oh..." Octavia was feeling the heat rise up again. "No... I wanted to try, actually, so I asked her for some advice... Did... Did I make you uncomfortable?"

"Not at all," Raven cupped her cheek with her hand. "I was surprised at first, but after I saw you weren't mistaken, it was actually a big turn on..."

"You liked it, then?" Octavia couldn't hide the enthusiasm.

"Yes... Did you?"

"Loved it... As I've told you before, I want to try everything with you."

"Awesome!" Raven smiled. "Next time we can try it on you as well, and we can maybe get some lube... To deepen the penetration..."

"Sure!" Octavia agreed. "And by _next time_ you mean _now_, right?" she moved her eyebrows up and down repeatedly.

Raven laughed out loud and lay on top of Octavia, with her thigh between her legs.

"Well, there's enough 'lube' right here," she moved her thigh up and down her wetness, "so I don't see why not..."

She leaned over, silencing Octavia's moans with a wet kiss, followed by another hour of hot, passionate sex with her GIRLFRIEND.  
  



	32. Perturbation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CLEXA 100%

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!
> 
> Here's another chapter, this time it's 100% Clexa ;)
> 
> Let me know what you think <3
> 
> S.

Lexa was wondering what on Earth had possessed her to suddenly decide to be spontaneous and show up unannounced, standing in front of the building that gave her the best memories of her life. She found it funny how looking at a simple concrete structure could make her heart beat absurdly fast, knowing that the person who lived behind those walls was about to come out. The brunette couldn't even remember getting on a plane and she had no idea where her suitcase was, attributing her confusion to the jet lag and the nerves she felt in her stomach as she passed the parking lot's entrance ramp.

Instead of ringing the bell, she decided to lean on the motorcycle parked in front of the buidling's main door, anxious to see a smile crop up on the lips she desperately needed to feel on her own.

The door suddenly opened and her heart almost jumped out of her chest when she laid eyes on the soft blonde curls, swinging lightly against the woman's shoulders as she held the door for another woman who intertwined her fingers behind the blonde's neck, giving her a kiss on the lips.

Lexa stood still as she witnessed the passionate embrace of the two women, feeling a sharp pain in her chest, finding it difficult to breathe as the lump in her throat seemed to have cut off the air supply to her lungs.

"Cla... Clarke ... ?" she barely let out a whisper, tears falling down her cheeks.

The two women didn't seem to acknowledge her presence, noticing her only after their lips separated and she could now clearly recognize the other woman as Clarke's ex.

Eva looked at Lexa with a smirk on her face and whispered something in the blonde's ear who laughed out loud before finally making an eye contact with the young actress.

It was a shade of blue she had never seen before, colder than she could've ever imagined possible, so much that it froze Lexa's heart to death. She could swear it ceased to beat, turning her body into a lifeless shell, completely empty and ready to crumble into dust.

"Lexie! Wake up!" she could hear her mother's voice from a distance.

Suddenly Clarke's face started fading away and Lexa could feel her mother's hands on her sweaty cheeks. She finally opened her eyes and saw Becca's face, covered in concern as she stroke her chestnut curls.

"It was just a nightmare, honey... it's ok..." she comforted Lexa, seeing that she was still struggling to come back to reality.

"Mum..." Lexa spoke at last, relieved to hear her own voice.

"It's okay, honey... I'm here..." she said in a soothing voice.

Lexa looked around and her breathing was stabilizing, coming to the realization that it had been a bad dream and she was actually in bed, in her old room in Australia.

"Did I scream?" she asked as she sat up.

"You did, yes... You were calling someone... Clarke, I think?"

"Oh..." Lexa tilted her head down.

"Anyone important?" Becca inquired and saw her daughter nod repeatedly. "Would you like to talk about it?"

Lexa looked up, doubting for a second, but seeing her mother's kind eyes was the only push she needed to start talking.

"Clarke... well... she's actually the girl I've been seeing..." she said quietly and saw her mother exhale, looking relieved.

She tilted her head to the side with confusion written all over her face, looking at Becca.

"Sorry, it's just that... when I heard Clarke, I assumed it was a man... and I thought... I don't know what I thought, actually..." Becca confessed.

"Still gay all the way, mum... don't worry," Lexa gave her a genuine smile.

"It would've been fine either way, honey... I was just worried that someone might be hurting you," Becca smiled back. "So... tell me about Clarke, then."

"She's... amazing, really..." a goofy smile made its way to Lexa's lips. "We met in Paris during the convention and had dinner that night... and, well..." her cheeks were picking up a reddish tone.

"Alright, alright... no details, please..." Becca laughed, noticing her daughter's timidness.

"Um... yeah... so... we stayed in touch and I went to Spain to visit her..."

"Oh, she's Spanish?" Becca was surprised.

"No, she's Australian... well, half-Slovenian actually," Lexa explained. "Oh, right, get this... Remember Eliza? My first crush?"

"Of course! You had the same expression on your face back then as the one you have right now, talking about Clarke."

"That's because it's the same person, mum..." Lexa's smile widened. "It's her! Clarke is Eliza!"

"Oh wow!" Becca exclaimed. "What are the chances!"

"I know, right?" Lexa agreed. "So... we spent ten days together in Spain... she works there, doing her medical residency in Traumatology... and we... I guess... we fell in love..."

"Oh, honey! I'm so happy for you!" Becca leaned into a hug. "When can we meet her? Is she coming to see you?" she asked excitedly.

"What, here?" Lexa was astonished by her mother's reaction.

"Why not? You're here for another three weeks, right? There's plenty of time for her to come," she suggested.

"She has to work, mum... and I think if she plans a trip to Australia, it will probably be to visit her family in Melbourne..."

"Right, forgot about that... How often does she visit them, then?"

"She said she usually goes once a year in December... And last summer her sister and her mum visited her in Spain."

"What about her other parent?" Becca was curious.

"I love that you used the word parent instead of just assuming she has a father," Lexa smiled softly.

"Well, of course! I know better than to assume... It's 2019 for God's sake!" she laughed.

"True..." Lexa laughed as well. "Clarke and her father... well, let's just say they are not on very good terms at the moment... But she said she wants to patch things up with him, so... we'll see."

"You really love her, don't you?" Becca could see the sparkles in her daughter's eyes every time Clarke's name left her lips.

"I do..." Lexa affirmed.

"What was the nightmare about, then?"

"Ugh..." Lexa exhaled. "It's stupid, really... Right before I left, we had a fight because I found out that Clarke had a girlfriend when we met in Paris and she didn't tell me... so now I dream about her getting back together with her ex..."

"Wait a second..." Becca was puzzled. "Did Clarke continue to see the other girl after she met you?"

"No... She broke things off the moment she got back home from Paris," Lexa explained. "In fact, she told me she had sent her a message even before we had s..." her cheeks were flushed yet again. "Um... dinner."

"Good save," Becca joked, noticing Lexa's embarrassment.

"Khm," Lexa cleared her throat, ignoring her mother's comment. "Anyway... they had been having problems for a while and Clarke told me they had had a fight the night before she flew to Paris and she had already decided to break up with her... But the thing is, I was really upset because she didn't tell me any of this before her ex showed up at her doorstep one morning..."

"While you were there?" Becca asked and Lexa nodded. "What did she want?"

"To reproach Clarke for not telling her about me when she broke up with her... I guess some friend of hers saw us together and told her..."

"Ugh... Drama, huh?"

"Pretty much, yeah... And then I left and slept in a hotel that night... But I came back the next day to say goodbye before I went to the airport the next morning..."

"So you made up, then? You're good now?"

"We did... And I suppose we're good, but..." Lexa shrugged.

"But you're not sure if you can trust her?" Becca asked. "Lexie... Trust is everything... If you can't find it in your heart to forgive her and give her your trust... Then it's not fair to either of you..."

Lexa didn't say anything, as she saw her mother was about to continue the conversation.

"I never told you this, but... I was actually with someone else when I met your father..." Lexa's eyes widened at Becca's words. "I was in one of those comfortable relationships, you know? We'd been together for a long time and I was simply used to having him in my life... But deep down I knew there was something missing... I just didn't have the courage nor the will to deal with it, because it was easier to stay with him. Until I met your father..."

"What did you do?" Lexa was curious.

"I tried to ignore my feelings for your father... Even though I knew that seeing him was the best part of my day and I was avoiding going home, because it would mean I'd have to spend time with my boyfriend..."

"Wait, wait... You lived together?" Lexa was surprised.

"Yes," Becca confirmed. "So anyway... I'm not proud of it, but I did cheat on him with your father... And I broke up with my boyfriend the next day..."

"Like Clarke... And did you start dating dad right away?" Lexa asked and her mother nodded. "Didn't you need time to process everything? And wasn't dad afraid that he might be your rebound?"

"I didn't need time... You see, when a relationship has been dead for a long time, the 'grieving' and getting over it usually happens long before the break up," Becca explained. "Staying in a relationship like that is like watering a dead plant... so one day you just stop doing it..." she shrugged. "When it's over, you still have a bucket full of water and you're eager to use it on another plant, so to speak... And about your father's feelings on the subject... you'll have to ask him about it... But what I _can_ tell you is that the first time I kissed him, I knew he was the one for me... We just clicked... And I haven't thought about being with another man ever since."

Becca's words made a lot of sense, calming Lexa's mind, especially after hearing the part about her parents 'clicking' the same way she felt she did with Clarke.

Lexa was about to thank her mother when she heard her phone vibrate few times in a row. She hoped it would be Clarke and was eager to reach for the phone and find out, but didn't want to be rude as she was in the middle of the conversation with her mother.

"You can check your phone," Becca smiled, seeing the dilemma on Lexa's face. "I'll go make some breakfast... come to the kitchen when you're ready, okay?" she leaned and pressed her lips on her daughter's forehead, before getting off the bed, turning away from her.

"Mum..." Becca turned around to face Lexa after hearing her voice. "Thank you."

"Of course, honey..." she smiled at Lexa and left her room.

Lexa hurried to grab the phone from the nightstand and she quickly unlocked the screen, happy to find out there were three messages from Clarke waiting for her.

Her lips curled into a big smile when she opened the chat and saw that one of them was a selfie of Clarke and Raven, making silly faces.

**Text** ** message**

_Clarke (9:02 am):_  
"It's not even midnight and Raven is already shitfaced! 🙈"

_Clarke (9:03 am):_  
"Wish you were here, baby... 😘"

Lexa's eyes were immediately drawn to Clarke, who was wearing dark red and black flannel shirt, her soft blonde curls falling over her shoulder and big, blue eyes looking directly at the camera. The thick black line along her eyelids made her eyes pop out even more and Lexa loved that the blonde never really wore a lot of make up, and still managed to look gorgeous.

In fact, according to Lexa, Clarke was even more beautiful in the mornings, completely natural, with messy hair and slightly puffy eyes.

She often caught herself daydreaming about their mornings in bed after making love all night and she could easily slip into it as she was looking at Clarke's selfie, but stopped herself in time and started typing.

_Lexa (9:05 am):_  
"Good morning 😊 I wish I was there too! 😘 You have no idea how much I want to kiss you right now... You look stunning, baby 😍"

_Clarke (9:06 am):_  
"I hope I didn't wake you 😳 But if I did... I would be willing to do a lot more than just kissing to make it up to you 😏"

_Lexa (9:06 am):_  
"Yeah? 😏 What did you have in mind?"

_Clarke (9:06 am):_  
"Did I wake you?"

_Lexa (9:07 am):_  
"Maybe..."

_Clarke (9:07 am):_  
"🤥"

_Lexa (9:07 am):_  
"Alright... You didn't 🙄 "

_Clarke (9:07 am):_  
"No need to make it up to you then! 😝"

_Lexa (9:07 am):_  
"You're bad! 😒 And I was just telling my mum about how sweet you were..."

_Clarke (9:08 am):_  
"You told your mum about me? 😳"

_Lexa (9:08 am):_  
"Yes... I told her everything... Well, not quite everything 😉"

_Clarke (9:08 am):_  
"🤭 I should hope not 😁 Damn... Now you're being all cute... Telling your mum about me and all... Hmm... I think you deserve a little something from me 😏"

A few moments later, Lexa recieved another photo of Clarke with her sunglasses on, wearing a light pink bikini, lying on her back on an inflatable pool bed, floating in the pool and sunbathing.

_Clarke (9:09 am):_  
"Paparazzi aka Raven took it this afternoon 😎"

_Lexa (9:09 am):_  
"🤤😍 Damn, baby... I want you so bad."

_Clarke (9:09 am):_  
"❤️ You have no idea how much I want to feel you right now..."

_Lexa (9:09 am):_  
"😘 So... What do I get if I tell my dad about you over breakfast? 😏"

_Clarke (9:10 am):_  
"🤔 I guess you'll gave to wait and see! 😝 Btw, you owe me something too - I told my mum and sis as well!"

A few seconds later, Lexa sent Clarke a photo of her, wearing a black bra and high waist light blue jeans.

_Clarke (9:10 am):_  
"My God, baby... 🤤🤤🤤 I'd give anything to be able to put my lips on that cute little mole you have next to your belly button... 😍 And everywhere else, for that matter... 😏"

_Lexa (9:11 am):_  
"And I'd let you do whatever you want to me... 😏 "

_Clarke (9:11 am):_  
"Whatever I want? 😳 Sure about that? 🤭 'Cause there are a lot of things I'm dying to do to you, baby... 😏"

_Lexa (9:11 am):_  
"Like what? 😲"

_Clarke (9:12 am):_  
"I'd like to tie you up... Completely naked and helpless... And make you watch me touch myself... And then I want to make you cum over and over again..."

_Lexa (9:12 am):_  
"Fuck."

_Clarke (9:12 am):_  
"I'm so fucking turned on, baby... I wish we could continue but I have to stop being antisocial because Ray and Octavia are treatening to take away my phone 😒"

_Lexa (9:12 am):_  
"😑 I guess I'll have a cold shower, then..."

_Clarke (9:13 am):_  
"Sorry, love... 😟 I'll make it up to you, I promise ❤️"

_Lexa (9:13 am):_  
"You better 😏 Have fun tonight! 😘"

_Clarke (9:14 am):_  
"I'll be thinking of you 😘"

Lexa smiled as she put away the phone before going to the bathroom.

After taking a very much needed cold shower, she joined her parents in the kitchen where she told her father about her vacation with Clarke. They both wanted to know everything about the blonde and Lexa was more than happy to show them all the photos they took on their roadtrip.

"Your girlfriend seems lovely, honey..." Gus said as he hugged Lexa. "I'm so happy for you!"

"Thanks, dad..." Lexa couldn't help but blush. "But we haven't really talked about... You know... Making it official and all that..."

"Hmmm..." he lowered his eyebrows. "Do you love each other?" he asked and saw his daughter confirm timidly with a nod. "Do you talk every day?" Lexa nodded again. "Is either of you dating other people?"

"No..." she was quick to answer. "I mean... I haven't asked her directly, but... She's not dating anyone else as far as I know..."

"Do you think about her a lot?" Gus continued.

"All the time," Lexa replied, her cheeks burning at the confession.

"Oh, Lexie..." Gus smiled softly. "She's definitely your girlfriend! You just haven't said it to each other yet..."

"Awwww that's so cute!" Becca joined the conversation.

"Alright, alright... Let's talk about something else," Lexa was desperate to change the subject. "Is Aden coming back from his tour today or tomorrow?"

"He said he'd be here tomorrow evening," Becca answered. "I made him promise to stay in his old room for the next couple of weeks... It's not like he gets to see his sister that often, right?"

"Yeah... I miss that little dork," Lexa smiled nostalgically.

"He hasn't been _little_ since 8th grade, honey..." Gus reminded Lexa of her brother's growth spurt back in elementary school.

"I don't care... He'll always be my little brother," she stated as she went over to the stove to make herself another cup of tea.

* * *

Lexa hadn't made plans with her friends, as it was Saturday and her parents didn't work on weekends, so they decided to have some family time, taking advantage of the surprisingly warm weather.

The three of them did the Bay Run cycle track down the Iron Cove foreshore, stopping for a cup of coffee at Drummoyne before heading back home.

Augustus was a cycling enthusiast, actively participating in quite a few bike races and he was always excited to go on a ride with the rest of his family.

They spent a lovely morning together, even though Lexa's thoughts wandered off in more than one ocassion, thinking about Clarke being out, in a lgbt club, surrounded by sexy Spanish women who were probably hitting on her. And she couldn't blame them, in fact, she knew she would be doing the same thing if she were there.

She couldn't help but wonder if Clarke was flirting with any of them and she felt uneasiness as well as a hint of jealousy spread inside her like a virus. Completely aware that her fear was unfounded, she tried to shake it off, but not long after succeeding, it would crawl back into her head, making her feel restless.

Fortunately, she received a text message from the blonde just when she was about to take the last bite of the delicious meal her father had prepared for lunch.

Lexa quickly swallowed the remaining food on her plate and excused herself on her way to her room.

She pretty much jumped on the bed, excited to open the message and nearly stopped breathing when she opened the chat and found a photo message from Clarke.

It was a _selfie_ and she was looking at the camera seductively, biting her lower lip and exposing one of her breasts that was peeking out of the unbuttoned flannel shirt, pulling down her black bra with her hand. In the background, Lexa could see that she was in a bathroom stall, so she assumed that Clarke was probably still at the club.

_Clarke (2:13 pm):_  
"I can't stop thinking about you..."

_Clarke (2:14 pm):_  
"I need you, baby... Please..."

The arousal took over Lexa's body the moment she laid eyes on Clarke's pink nipple, errect and ready to be devoured. She could almost taste it in her mouth, taking it all in and giving it all the attention with her tongue.

She swallowed hard, ignoring the wetness between her legs and hurried to write back, noticing that Clarke was still online.

_Lexa (2:15 pm):_  
"🤤🤤🤤 I'm speechless..."

_Clarke (2:15 pm):_  
"Are you wet?"

_Lexa (2:15 pm):_  
"Yes... 😳 Are you drunk?"

_Clarke (2:15 pm):_  
"A little bit 🤭 But more importantly, I'm reaaally horny, baby..."

_Lexa (2:16 pm):_  
"I'd love to take care of that for you..."

_Clarke (2:16 pm):_  
"What would you like to do to me? 😏"

_Lexa (2:16 pm):_  
"You know what 😏"

_Clarke (2:16 pm):_  
"I want you to say it."

_Lexa (2:17 pm):_  
"Are you still at the club?"

_Clarke (2:17 pm):_  
"Yes. Bathroom stall. Say it, Lexa... Please..."

_Lexa (2:17 pm):_  
"Babe..."

_Clarke (2:17 pm):_  
"My hand is inside my panties and I'm touching my clit, thinking about you... Please, love..."

_Lexa (2:17 pm):_  
"My God, baby... I want to fuck you so bad..."

_Clarke (2:18 pm):_  
"I need to hear your voice, Lex... Call me?"

Lexa stood up and locked the door before she lay on the bed, under the blankets. Two dial tones later, Clarke answered the phone.

**Phone call**

_Clarke:_  
"Hey, babe..."

Lexa heard her raspy and unbelievably sexy voice over the loud music in the background.

_Lexa:_  
"Hey..."

_Clarke:_  
"It feels so good hearing your voice..."

_Lexa:_  
"Yours too... I love your voice...It's very sexy..."

_Clarke:_  
"Yeah? Mmm... Do you like it when I scream your name?" she asked, leaning on the stall panel, her fingers gently touching her clit.

_Lexa:_  
"I love it... I love making you cum, baby..."

_Clarke:_  
"Mmm... Tell me how much you wanna fuck me, Lex..." she said in between shallow breaths.

_Lexa:_  
"I'm dying to fuck you, Clarke..." Lexa had copied the blonde's action and was touching her bulging clit as well.

_Clarke:_  
"Are you touching yourself?"

_Lexa:_  
"Yes..." Lexa replied and heard Clarke moan softly into the phone. "You make me so wet..."

_Clarke:_  
"Ah... Lexa..." Clarke applied more pressure on her clit, moving her finger faster and moaning. "I want to be inside you, baby..."

_Lexa:_  
"I'm inside..." Lexa said as she slid one finger inside her, imagining Clarke's fingers instead of her own. "It's so warm... and wet..." she moaned.

_Clarke:_  
"Fuck... Yeah... It feels so good... Mmm..." the blonde could feel the pressure in her lower abdomen, getting closer to her release.

_Lexa:_  
"Mmm... I'm so close, baby..." Lexa was moving her finger faster and deeper, applying pressure on her clit with the base of her palm.

_Clarke:_  
"Me too... Ahhh... Cum with me, babe..."

_Lexa:_  
"Fuck..." Lexa was moaning softly, trying not to be too loud, considering that her parents were in the house.

_Clarke:_  
"Mmm I want... you... to cum in my mouth, Lex..." her body started shaking, hearing Lexa's sexy moans as she reached her orgasm.

_Lexa:_  
"Ahhh fuck... I'm coming..." Lexa joined her shortly after, riding out her orgasm with the phone pressed on her ear, taking in every sound that came out of Clarke's throat.

Suddenly they heard loud banging as they were catching up their breath, Clarke almost dropping her phone on the ground.

"Clarke? Are you here?" she recognized Raven's voice.

"Yeah, I'll be right out..." Clarke shouted, panting.

"What are you doing in there for so long? Are you sick?" Octavia added, sounding a bit worried.

"No, I'm fine!" Clarke shouted again. "I'm on the phone, ok? Just give me a minute..." she decided to come clean, knowing they wouldn't leave her alone otherwise.

"Awwwww you miss your girlfriend!" Ray teased her.

"Shut up!" Clarke was hoping Lexa couldn't hear Raven's words over the phone. "Go, please... I'll meet you at the bar in two minutes."

"Fine, fine..." Ray gave up. "But hurry, they are about to close the club," she said as they left the bathroom.

Lexa had been patiently waiting for Clarke to stop talking to her friends, using that time to calm her breathing, even though her heart rate increased dangerously when she heard Raven refer to her as Clarke's girlfriend.

**Phone call**

_Clarke:_  
"Lex? You're still here?"

_Lexa:_  
"Yes..."

_Clarke:_  
"It was Ray and O... They say it's closing time, we have to leave soon..."

_Lexa:_  
"Yeah, I heard..." she said and Clarke could feel the heat spread to her face, wondering how much of the conversation Lexa had actually heard.

_Clarke:_  
"Right, yeah... Um... Thank you for calling me... I needed to hear your voice..."

_Lexa:_  
"Of course... I really enjoyed our..." she paused. "Um... _conversation_," she accentuated the last word, making Clarke laugh.

_Clarke:_  
"I miss you so much, Lex..." Clarke said softly into the phone.

_Lexa:_  
"Me too, love... I love you."

_Clarke:_  
"I love you too."

_Lexa:_  
"Text me when you get home, yeah?"

_Clarke:_  
"Will do... Bye, baby."

_Lexa:_  
"Bye!"

Clarke put away the phone after finishing the conversation, washed her hands and joined Raven and Octavia who had been waiting for her by the bar. About five minutes later, they left the club and the three of them went to spend the night in Clarke and Raven's apartment.

Lexa, on the other hand, stayed in bed a little longer, waiting for Clarke's message. As soon she got it, she wrote back before taking an unplanned _siesta_, which wasn't nearly as good as the ones with Clarke in Spain, but at least hearing the blonde's voice over the phone earlier seemed to have chased away the nightmares.


	33. Shift in the wind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a little bit of warning - there is some offensive language in this chapter, as well as some alcohol and "drug" use.  
P.S. Madi is Clarke's older sister.

Over the next three weeks, Clarke and Lexa had been talking everyday, in spite of the time difference and Clarke's busy work schedule. They had even managed to have a very steamy video call in the on-call room during one of the blonde's 24-hour shifts, finally granting Lexa's wish to see Clarke in her scrubs. Or to be more accurate, to see her take them off slowly, piece by piece, making Lexa unable to resist touching herself at the sight of the blonde, fulfilling her fantasy.

As much as they both enjoyed their calls, Clarke was beginning to seriously crave Lexa's actual presence, which was why she had taken a very important decision that could pretty much shape the rest of her life.

On the morning of the 16th of September, Clarke was on her way up to the hospital cafeteria when she bumped into her mentor Carlos.

"Clarke, hey!" he greeted her as they were about to get something to drink.

"Good morning," she said with a smile on her face.

"Did you send the application? The deadline was yesterday, right?" he asked.

"I did, yes..." she replied. "Thank you so much for your recommendation letter, by the way."

"Of course, no problem!" he smiled. "I meant every word, you know that... But I still think you should have chosen the Special Surgery Hospital in New York," he added.

"Thank you," Clarke smiled back as she grabbed her cup of tea. "But you know my heart is in L.A.," she winked at him.

"I know, I know..." his smile widened as an employee handed him a sandwich and a cup of coffee. "She's a lucky woman and it's not going to be the same without you here," he said, placing his hand on Clarke's shoulder.

"I'll miss you too," Clarke was touched by her mentor's words, whom she had come to respect not only as a professional, but also as the wonderful human being he was.

As soon as he walked away, she heard a familiar voice behind her that startled her.

"Is Carlos going somewhere?" Octavia approached her from behind.

"What?" Clarke needed a moment to process her friend's words. "Oh, no..."

"Why are you going to miss him then?" Octavia asked as they walked over to an unoccupied table.

"Um... I'm the one who's leaving, actually..." Clarke replied as they sat down.

"You're referring to your 2 months rotation in Madrid? But that's not until January," Octavia was confused.

"No..." Clarke said and her friend lowered her eyebrows, waiting for an explanation. "I mean after that, actually..." she continued. "I've applied to do my last year of residency in _The Cedars-Sinai Medical Center_ in Los Angeles... Starting in May."

"Oh my God!" Octavia exclaimed, widening her eyes and raising her eyebrows in surprise. "Wow, Clarke... That's awesome! Lexa must be thrilled!"

"She doesn't know yet," Clarke said quietly. "I want to see if they accept the transfer first before telling her..." she explained. "Plus, she's on a flight to L.A. at the moment and the Emmys are in a week... She's got a lot on her plate. I wouldn't want to get her hopes up for nothing..."

"Of course they'll take you!" Octavia was certain. "Remember Gabriel? He did part of his residency in New York and you're way better surgeon, plus you have great credentials with all those clinical studies you did..."

"Yeah, I got an amazing recommendation letter from Carlos, too..." Clarke was starting to feel more confident. "I really want this to happen, O..."

"It will, I know it!" Octavia said optimistically. "When will they let you know if you got in?"

"By the end od December," Clarke replied.

"Awesome!" Octavia was excited. "Poor Raven, though... She'll lose her roommate..."

"Or... Maybe she can get a new one," Clarke winked at her.

"Oh, you mean..." Octavia blushed when she realized what her friend was referring to.

"Why not? Think about it... January and February I'll be in Madrid and then you'll do your two months there as well in March and April, right? And by the end of April I'm already moving to the States, so you can pretty much move out of your apartment by the end of this year!"

"Um... I don't know... I mean, we've only been dating for a month..." Octavia was doubting.

"Yes, but you have been spending every night together... You practically live together as it is," Clarke made a point. "By December it will be four months already and you're going away for two months in March..."

"True..." Octavia agreed. "I'll have to think it over I guess... Have you talked to her about it?"

"No, not yet... You're the first one I've told about L.A., except for Madi..."

"Only because I heard you talking about it with Carlos," Octavia squinted.

"True," Clarke laughed. "No, but I was going to tell you today anyway... And Raven too."

"And I have to tell my parents about Raven..." Octavia sighed.

"Are you worried about their reaction?" Clarke inquired.

"Yes..." she nodded. "I really hope they'll be able to look past all that church crap and understand that love is love..."

"I'm sure they will, O..." Clarke touched her hand gently over the table. "By the way... Did you just confess that you _love_ Raven?" she teased her.

"Shut up," Octavia pushed away Clarke's hand and laughed, hoping her cheeks weren't displaying her embarrassment.

After finishing their drinks, they went on with their day at the hospital and met Raven for lunch after finishing their shift, as it had become their rutine in the last month.

* * *

Since Lexa had arrived in Los Angeles, the communication between her and Clarke hadn't been as frequent as they would've have liked, considering Lexa had to do a lot of press, as well as go through all of the outfit choices for the Emmys with her stylists.

On top of everything, Lexa had surprised her parents by flying them out to L.A. to be her plus one, or in her case, plus two for the ceremony, so she hadn't had a moment alone in the past week.

Clarke was very understanding, even though she missed her terribly, especially after getting used to seeing her face on camera every day during Lexa's stay in Australia.

The day of the ceremony had finally come and Clarke was very excited about her girl being nominated for an Emmy award and had no doubt in her head she was going to win.

"Lexa is definitely going to win, she's the best!" she said as she sat down on the couch next to Raven and Octavia.

"She really is," Raven agreed.

"And the role of Heda is legendary!" Octavia added. "She has to win!"

Clarke's phone vibrated on the coffee table and she reached to grab it hastily, hoping it would be Lexa.

A big smile cropped up on her face as she unlocked the screen, finding three photos of Lexa: in one of them she was still at home, posing in front of her bedroom and in the second one she could see the brunette sitting with her legs crossed in the back seat of a car.

The third one was from the red carpet and Clarke's jaw dropped at the sight of Lexa posing for the photographers, looking absolutely flawless.

She was wearing a black satin floor-length dress with long sleeves and a deep V-cut neckline ending in a black bow. The ball gown silhouette of the dress gave her a very elegant look along with her hair clipped to the side, falling over her left shoulder, leaving her prominent collar bone exposed on the right side.

**Text** ** message**

_Lexa (00:34h):_  
"I have arrived 😎😘😘😘"

_Clarke (00:34h):_  
"😍😍😍 OH MY GOD. You are unreal. My God... Wow, baby... Just wow ❤️"

_Lexa_ _(00:35h):_  
"🤭 Have you become religious, Clarke? 😋"

_Clarke (00:35h):_  
"I might as well have because I can't seem to find any other explanation for this kind of beauty - you are divine! 🙌🏼 😍 Aren't you a little early, though? 🤔"

_Lexa (00:35h):_  
"Damn, you're a smooth talker 😏😘 No, the red carpet show starts in less than 30 minutes, I'll have to do some more posing and some interviews as well. I think they'll air that too."

_Clarke (00:36h):_  
"Oh, right!! I saw somewhere that they will start streaming at 1 am, but the tv programme said 2 am, so I wasn't sure... Doesn't matter, we're on the couch already with all kinds of snacks 😁"

_Lexa (00:36h):_  
"Aww now I'm nervous 'cause I know you'll be watching 🤭 But don't you work tomorrow? It's so late there... You can watch the rerun, baby..."

_Clarke (00:37h):_  
"And miss seeing you win your first Emmy? No way! 😎 I had a really long siesta and I feel very rested, don't worry 😉"

_Lexa (00:37h):_  
"You're very optimistic I see! 😳😁 Gotta go now, love... I'll give my phone to my mum, so don't send any nudes, ok? 😝😁 I love you 😘"

_Clarke (00:37h):_  
"😂 I'll try to restrain myself 😋 Have fun, baby! I love you!! 😘"

Raven and Octavia couldn't take their eyes off of Clarke who had the silliest smile on her face as she was texting Lexa. Once she was done, she connected the TV to the internet and found the live stream of the red carpet show.

"It'll start soon!" she said excitedly. "We should be able to see Lexa anytime now... She's already there," she added and noticed how her friends were looking at her with a huge grin on their faces. "What?" she asked.

"Dude... You should see your face when you're texting her," Raven spoke.

"You're sooo in love! It's adorable!" Octavia added.

"Shut up," Clarke started laughing. "You two are exactly the same when you text each other," she raised an eyebrow and they all laughed.

"Did she send you some photos?" Raven asked.

"Oh, right! Here," Clarke opened the photos from Lexa and gave the phone to Raven.

"Holy shit, Clarke..." Raven was amazed. "You're a lucky bastard, you know that, right?" she said and received a nudge in the ribs from Octavia. "Auch!" she complained. "Not as lucky as I am, of course..." she winked at her girlfriend.

"Yeah, yeah..." Octavia rolled her eyes and they all laughed. "But, seriously Clarke... She's gorgeous..."

"She really is..." Clarke agreed. "And she's also smart, kind, talented... And amazing in bed," she chuckled. "Guys... I know I've only known her about two and a half months, but... She's the one. I know it..."

"Awww Clarke!" Octavia leaned into a hug.

"Duh!" Raven exclaimed. "Dude, you're moving to the States for her... It's pretty obvious," she said as she put a potato chip in her mouth.

"IF they accept my application," Clarke added.

Not long after, the red carpet show started and Clarke nearly jumped on top of the couch when she saw Lexa giving an interview. The reporter was asking her about her outfit and about her thoughts on being nominated for an Emmy award for the first time in her career.

Lexa seemed relaxed and answered all the questions very professionally, but Clarke knew her well enough to know that the brunette was actually pretty nervous and couldn't wait to get away from the spotlight.

The main show started one hour later and after a while Clarke was the only one who was still awake, as Raven and Octavia dozed off not long after it had started.

As soon as Lexa's category was announced, she woke them up because she knew they wouldn't want to miss it.

"Guys, here it is!!" she exclaimed.

_TV announcer:_

_"The nominees for Lead actress in a Drama series are:_   
_\- Viola Davis - How to get away with murder_   
_\- Mandy Moore - This is us_   
_\- Emilia Clarke - Game of Thrones_   
_\- Robin Wright - House of Cards_   
_\- Sandra Oh - Killing Eve_   
_\- Jodie Comer - Killing Eve_   
_\- Laura Linney - Ozark_   
_\- Lexa Woods - The Last Commander"_

The camera showed all of the nominees as they were being named, and in the end it focused on Lexa who was sitting next to her parents, smiling.

Immediately after that, the show continued, introducing the person who would give the award to the winner.

_TV announcer:_  
"_From The Politician, Academy award and Emmy winner, Gwyneth Paltrow."_

The actress walked on stage and stood in front of the microphone, waiting for the applause to quiet down before she spoke.

_Gwyneth Paltrow on TV:_  
"_Whenever they were in a scene, we couldn't take our eyes away from them. And that is a sign of greatness_.   
The Emmy for _Lead actress in a Drama series goes to..._  
_..._  
_..._  
_..._  
_Lexa Woods!"_

"Oh my God!!" Clarke started screaming. "She won!! Guys, she won!!"

Raven and Octavia were still half asleep when Clarke started jumping up and down in front of the TV, where they could see Lexa hugging her parents, with a huge smile on her face as she stood up and walked on stage to accept her award.

She was visibly excited and was trying to calm her breathing while waiting for the audience to stop clapping.

_"Oh wow..._" she finally spoke, her voice slightly shaking. "_This is such an honor... I can't believe I'm standing here in front of all of you, accepting this award... Um... I'm deeply honored to share this category with my incredibly talented collegues... I am in awe of each and every single one of you... Your perfomances are breathtaking... Um... I'd like to thank The Academy of Television Arts & Sciences for giving me this recognition, it means the world to me... But I wouldn't be here without the great team behind The Last Commander, my fellow actors and actresses and every single person involved in the production and the execution of the show... My fans, I love you all, your support means so much to me... The lgbtq comunity_, it is an_ absolute pleasure to portray Heda, I feel truly welcome at all the events you have _so_ generously invited me to be a part of and you've been there since season one, thank you so much for that... Love is love... It's all that matters... Um... I'd like to thank my manager, my styling team - I'd be lost without you, guys... And of course, none of this would have been possible without the uncondicional love and support from my family and friends and all of you special people in my life who believe in me, you know who you are, I love you... Thank you!"_

Clarke was still on her feet as Lexa finished her speech and left the stage, recieving a big applause. Her face was wet due to the happy tears that had fallen down her cheeks while she was watching Lexa accept her award.

"That was amazing!" Octavia approached Clarke, hugging her from behind.

Clarke wiped her face with the back of her hand and turned around to hug her friend.

"I knew she would win," she said with a big smile on her lips.

"Your girlfriend rocks!" Raven said as she joined the hug.

"She's..."

"Yeah, yeah, you haven't asked her yet," Raven interrupted her, knowing what she was about to say.

"I will, though! As soon as I get an answer from the hospital," she said as they all walked back to the couch. "I'll send her a text to congratulate her! She probably won't see it til later, but at least she'll know I was watching..."

"Just ask her to marry you already," Raven laughed. "Let's go to bed, it's late!" Raven said as she took Octavia by the hand and started walking away from Clarke.

"Congrats from us too!" Octavia added as she followed Raven to the bedroom.

Clarke grabbed the phone and started typing.

**Text message**

_Clarke (4:28 am)_  
"You won, baby! Congratulations!! 🎉🎉🎉 I'm so happy for you! ❤️ You deserve this and so much more, love... Your speech was perfect and I'm so proud of you, Lexa! Have fun at the afterparty 😁 I love you 😘"

_Clarke (4:29 am)_  
"Oh, Raven and Octavia said congrats! They fell asleep but I woke them up in time to see you accept your award 🤭  
I'm going to bed but I'm too excited to sleep, so text me anytime, I'll probably be up 😘"

Clarke went to the bathroom to brush her teeth before putting on an oversized t-shirt and going to bed.

As she had predicted, she wasn't able to fall asleep, so she was scrolling on socal media until she saw an incoming message from Lexa and immediately opened it.

**Text message**

_Lexa (4:54 am):_  
"Thank you so much, baby!! ❤️❤️❤️ I'm still in shock, I can't believe I won 🤭 I met Gwyneth Paltrow, can you believe it? 😂 Go to bed, love, you need to be at work in three hours! 😘😘😘"

_Clarke (4:54 am):_  
"I saw, yes! She kissed you on the cheek! 😤 Nah, just kidding 😝   
Don't worry about me, babe, I only have to do check ups tomorrow anyway, so I probably won't kill anyone just yet 😁😘😘😘"

She waited a little while, but there was no reply from Lexa, which was to be expected as she probably needed to do a lot of press and meet tons of new people.

Sooner than she thought, she fell asleep and dreamed about going to Los Angeles first thing in the morning, surprising Lexa and finally asking her to be her girlfriend.

* * *

Thankfully, Clarke's morning at the hospital was pretty calm, as she only had to do check ups and external consultations, so the lack of sleep didn't really affect her that much.

Every now and then she would check her phone, even though she knew Lexa was probably too busy to text her, after all, winning an Emmy was a big deal and she was most likely surrounded by reporters and cameras.

And there was the afterparty, of course, a great opportunity for Lexa to meet other actresses and actors, producers, directors and people with a lot of influence in the show business, which could be extremely beneficial for her career.

Right as Clarke was finishing up one of her appointments, she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket and could barely wait for the patient to exit the consultation room before she grabbed the phone and unlocked the screen.

**Text message**

_Lexa (11:14 am):_  
"What a night! 🤯 I'm exhausted 😩 I just got back from the afterparty, it was crazy! 🤪 How's your day so far? 😘"

_Clarke (11:16 am):_  
"Did you meet anyone interesting? 😁 I had an energy drink, so I'm pretty pumped 🤭 So far so good 😘"

_Lexa (11:16 am):_  
"I did! 😄 I'll tell you all about it once I get some sleep 😉 I can't keep my eyes open... 😴 Talk to you later? Goodnight ❤️"

_Clarke (11:17 am):_  
"Sure 😊 Sweet dreams ❤️"

She put away her phone and called in the next patient, thinking about how she'd rather be curled up next to Lexa, watching her fall asleep.

* * *

In the next couple of days, Clarke and Lexa had managed to have one short video call, after the latter had driven her parents to the airport and she told the blonde all about the Emmys and the afterparty where she made a lot of new contacts, even got some offers for potential colaborations.

Lexa was pretty much all over the place, doing interviews and photoshoots for magazines before she had to fly to Vancouver for the shooting of the 4th season of The Last Commander. Even though Clarke was always on her mind, she missed seeing her face and talking to her everyday, making an effort to at least send her a good morning and a goodnight text, which was very much appreciated by the blonde, who did the same.

The last week of October, Lexa had to fly back to LA for an interview on _The Ellen show_, which was an amazing opportunity for her to promote the new season as well as her career in general.

It aired on the 31th of October and Clarke was excited to watch it with Raven and Octavia while they were waiting for the rest of their friends to arrive.

They had made plans to meet at their apartment to have some drinks before going to the Halloween party at the club.

Clarke found the video of the interview on YouTube and played it on the TV in the living room.

It started when Ellen introduced Lexa and the audience welcomed her with a big round of applause as she gave the host a hug before sitting down.

They talked about the recent events in her career, as well as the importance of portraying such an iconic character on TV and what it meant for the lgbt community, especially after the recognition obtained by winning an Emmy.

Lexa seemed very comfortable talking to Ellen, beautiful as always, wearing a white, buttoned up, cap sleeve classic shirt, tucked inside a long, floor length black skirt. The upper part of her long chestnut hair was pulled back, her soft curls falling gently on her shoulders as she was laughing at Ellen's jokes.

**Part of the TV interview**

_"So... Lexa... I think everyone is dying to know..." Ellen said as she moved her eyebrows up and down playfully._

_"Oh no... Why do I feel you're about to make me blush?" Lexa laughed._

_"Naaah, I wouldn't do that to you... I'm just going to ask you about your love life, that's all," she said sarcastically and the audience laughed as well._

_"Nothing to tell, really..." Lexa was quick to reply._

_"Oh, come on..." she insisted. "How is that possible? I mean, look at you! You expect me to believe you're not taken?"_

_"Why not?" Lexa shrugged, laughing at Ellen's comment._

_"So you're saying you're single?" she continued with the interrogation._

_"I'm saying I'm at a stage in my life when I'm really focused on my career and I'm not looking for a romantic relationship..." she answered._

_"What about dating? No strings attached, just fun?" Ellen inquired._

_"You sound like you already have someone in mind for me!" Lexa joked, making the audience laugh._

_"Let's say I did... Would you be open to that?" Ellen played along._

_"Honestly... No..." Lexa replied. "I really don't need any distractions right now, I just want to direct all of my energy to really making it in the show business... I actually have some projects lined up, so I'm very excited to see how it all turns out for me..."_

_"Well, this is definitely a very exciting period for you and you've earned it 100%... I wish you a lot of success and a lot more awards in the future... Thank you for coming to the show, it was very nice meeting you..."_

_"Thank you so much for having me," Lexa smiled politely._

_"Lexa Woods, ladies and gentlemen!" Ellen said, facing the audience, followed by another applause. "We'll be right back..."_

With those words, the interview was over, but Clarke's heart hadn't stopped racing ever since the mention of Lexa's love life.

Of course she didn't think that Lexa would _out_ herself just like that, let alone tell everyone about them, but it still stung when she so convincingly assured Ellen that not only was she single, but that she wasn't looking for a commitment either.

"Um... She had to say that, Clarke... You know that, right?" Raven broke the silence as if she had read Clarke's mind, seeing the expression on her face.

"Oh... You mean what she said about... Yeah, yeah, of course!" Clarke forced a smile. "It was a great interview! She did a great job..." she added as she got off the couch and picked up her gin & tonic on her way to the balcony.

Octavia and Raven looked at each other, wondering if they should say anything, but knowing Clarke, they figured it was best to let her deal with her thoughts on her own first.

Clarke was leaning on the fence, unable to shake off the image of Lexa talking about her non-existent love life on TV and no matter how hard she tried to convince herself that it was all an act, there was a tiny little whisper of doubt she couldn't seem to be able to completely get rid off.

Even dressed up as the strong wrestling champion Becky Lynch, she couldn't help but feel weak and powerless, wondering if she had been foolish to have made plans to turn her life around, leaving her amazing workplace and all of her friends behind for a woman who wasn't even considering being in a relationship anytime soon.

Was that the reason they still hadn't made it official? Was Lexa having doubts? Had the thought of a future together even crossed her mind? Or was Clarke just someone to spend her summer vacations with? Was it possible that Clarke had ruined everything by not being completely honest from the beginning? Was Lexa still not over it and was this her way of letting her know?

But then again, why would she claim she loved her? Why would she text her everyday? Sometimes even just to let her know she was thinking about her...

Yet, she never mentioned anything about making plans to see each other again... Not even once. And Clarke had been putting away the annual trip to Australia she usually took in December to spend the holidays with her family, hoping that maybe Lexa would invite her to visit her instead.

She was well aware of Lexa's busy schedule and that she would probably have no vacation time in December, except for maybe a few days around Christmas, but that didn't mean that Clarke wouldn't be willing to cross the ocean in a heartbeat, even if it meant she got to spend one day with her.

The doorbell startled her, announcing the arrival of their friends and she quickly pulled herself together, putting a smile on her face, ready to greet them.

Not long after, they were all hanging out, having drinks and snacks in the living room, as well as on the balcony and Clarke had somehow managed to calm the storm of thoughts inside her head. The good company had a lot to do with that, but the alcohol also did its part, considering it was only 11 pm and Clarke was way past tipsy.

Surprisingly, the selfie she took in the bathroom didn't reflect her current state and she decided it was good enough for her Instagram page.

She looked very attractive, wearing a long orange wig with bangs, steampunk goggles with elastic band on top of her head, black sleeveless top with a cleavage revealing the upper part of her generous natural bosom and wrestling gloves.

Clarke uploaded the photo on Instagram, leaving a caption that read: _Dressed up as the one and only #BeckyLynchWWE and feelin like a badass! Let's go be wrestlers #halloween_

As she left the bathroom, she ran into Raven and Octavia who were whispering in the hallway, having a discussion.

"Do you really think it's a good idea to do it now, O? You know he hates my guts..." Raven said.

"He doesn't hate your guts, Ray..." Octavia replied. "Even if he did, I couldn't care less! I can't stand sitting there, pretending we're just friends! And he keeps making comments about Ricky and I, trying to find out if we're secretly dating..."

"Awwww you're so cute!" Clarke interrupted their conversation, hugging them. "You guys are like my favourite couple ever! I love you so much!"

"Shhhhh dude..." Raven tried to quiet her down, seeing her friend was clearly disinhibited by the alcohol.

"No, Ray... We ARE a couple and I want to tell everyone... Please?" Octavia insisted.

"I'm with O on this one... I wish I had a girlfriend like you, O..." she said, smiling as she cupped Octavia's cheeks with her hands.

"Hey hey... Back off, this one is mine," Raven joked. "And you do have a girlfriend, Clarke, and she loves you very much."

"Pfffff yeah, right..." the blonde chuckled. "Don't change the subject and listen to O!" she pointed her finger at the Latina as she joined their guests in the living room.

"Where's Ricky?" she asked over the music when she noticed that he wasn't with Juanmi and Luna on the couch.

"On the balcony, smoking..." Juanmi replied.

"What? Ricky doesn't smoke cigarettes!" Clarke was confused.

"Who said anything about cigarettes?" Luna winked at her, smiling.

"Oooooh! How rude of him not to offer!" Clarke exclaimed with a mischievous smile on her face on her way to the balcony.

"You're not into sharing, huh?" she asked playfully as she walked over to Ricky.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, _doctora_..." he joked. "I didn't think you'd be interested," he said as he passed the joint to Clarke.

"Thank you," she replied before taking a drag on the spliff. "Mmm it's been a while..." she said after exhaling the smoke and giving the marijuana cigarette back to Ricky.

"You're full of surprises, I see..." he teased her. "So... Raven told me you might be moving next year, is that right?"

"Ugh Raven and her big mouth..." Clarke rolled her eyes.

"Sorry, was it supposed to be a secret?" Ricky was afraid he had spilled the beans.

"Nah, it's fine... I'm just..."

Their conversation was interrupted by a loud discussion coming from the living room and they quickly went inside to see what was going on.

"She didn't do anything to me, Juanmi! We fell in love!" Octavia yelled at her cousin, standing in front of him and holding Raven's hand.

"Of course! So now you're suddenly a dyke, is that what you're saying?" Juanmi yelled back.

"Hey! Watch your language!" Clarke intervened, realizing what had happened.

"Did you know about this? Are you a part of it?" Juanmi turned his attention on the blonde.

"What do you mean 'am I a part of it'?" Clarke frowned.

"I mean, are the three of you sleeping together or is Raven playing with the both of you?" Juanmi continued with his attack.

"What the fuck!?" Clarke couldn't believe her ears.

"Excuse me?" Raven joined the heated conversation. "Clarke is my best friend... What the fuck are you talking about?"

"I told you months ago that your theory was stupid, you dipshit!" Octavia was furious.

"What theory?" Raven was confused.

"He thought that Clarke broke up with Eva because of you and that the two of you were having an affair or something like that..." Octavia explained. "Sorry I didn't tell you, babe..." she said to Raven. "I just didn't want to make him sound like an idiot... But you took care of that yourself now, didn't you?" she turned to face Juanmi again.

"Whatever, it doesn't matter! I don't give a shit who she's sleeping with, but she's definitely not going to convert you into a lesbian!" he said angrily.

"Oh my God!" Clarke laughed out loud. "Is this guy for real?"

"I can't believe I have to explain this to you, but people can't actually choose their sexual orientation, you small-minded douchebag!" Octavia was starting to lose her patience. "Not that I owe you any explanations, but I was into women long before I met Raven!" she added, to which Juamni responded only by rolling his eyes.

"I need to say something..." Clarke drew the attention to herself. "These two..." she said, pointing at Raven and Octavia, " ... are so fucking lucky to have found each other and that there aren't any obstacles to spend time together... like a fucking ocean between them or whatever... And that is fucking rare, man! Not everyone can be with the person they love, you know? When you see the love in their eyes and the way they make each other happy, there's no way you could feel anything else but happiness for them! And if you don't... You know what?" she said as she pointed at the door. "There's the fucking door and you may come back when you decide to stop being such an ignorant piece of shit... The world is fucked up as it is and we don't need any more toxic waste in our lives."

"Whatever..." Juanmi puffed, clenching his jaw as he grabbed Luna's hand. "Let's get out of here," he said to her.

"Actually... I really don't feel like being around you right now," she let go of his hand, refusing to leave with him.

"What...?" he was shocked at his girlfriend's reaction.

"This isn't the person I fell in love with..." she said, looking disappointed. "I never would've gone out with you if I had known you were homophobic..."

"I'm not homophobic!" he exclaimed. "I wouldn't be friends with Clarke if I were... I'm totally fine with people being gay!"

"As long as it's not someone in your family, right?" Luna continued and Juanmi widened his eyes, not knowing what to say. "Unless you accept that Octavia and Raven love each other and find it in your heart to be happy for them, I'm not coming home with you... Not until you show your support for your cousin and her girlfriend."

He looked at Octavia and then again at Luna, shook his head as he picked up his jacket from the couch and left the apartment, slamming the door behind him.

Raven and Octavia hugged Luna, thanking her for the support and Ricky joined them shortly after, congratulating them with a big smile on his face until they were interrupted by Clarke, who came from the direction of the kitchen with a bottle of alcohol and five shot glasses in her hands.

"Tequila shots?" she offered excitedly and everyone laughed, taking the glasses off her hands.

"I love drunk Clarke," Octavia said.

"She curses a lot, though..." Ricky added.

They all laughed out loud as they filled their glasses with alcohol, raising them together to make a toast.

"To love!" Clarke exclaimed and everyone repeated after her before finishing their drinks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... It is a bit longer chapter, I hope you enjoyed it anyway 😉
> 
> What do you think of Clexa? Are they going to make it? 🤔
> 
> What about Juanmi's reaction to Octaven? Will he come around?
> 
> Let me know about your thoughts on the subject! I'd like to hear from you! 🤓


	34. Shaken faith

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa's side of the story.

On the morning of Halloween, Lexa woke up to a text from Clarke, wishing her a good morning and also letting her know how excited she was to watch her interview on _The Ellen show_. She had written to her about how she had been anxiously waiting for Raven and Octavia to arrive before the Halloween party so they could watch it together.

A week ago, when they were shooting the interview, Lexa had told Clarke that it had gone well, but chose not to go into details about it or about how Gary, her manager, had a little talk with her before the show. He had strongly advised her to avoid talking about her personal life, but knowing Ellen, that would've been pretty much impossible, so instead he suggested that she presented herself as a strong, career-oriented woman who had absolutely no time for dating. That way, her fans wouldn't lose interest in her, especially the male fans, who would've been devastated otherwise, and on the other hand, the female fans from the lgbtq community would still keep their hope that Lexa might play on their team.

Lexa could never understand why some public person's dating life should matter anyway and she had decided early on in her career that she wouldn't reveal a lot about herself in an attempt to protect not only herself, but also the people closest to her. For her it was never about her sexual orientation, as she felt that she had nothing to be ashamed of, in fact she would've loved to be able to be openly gay, but the sad truth was that for a young actress like her it would've been a lot more difficult to succeed if she had come out of the closet. At least that's what everyone always said and that was the example that many gay celebrities had set before her.

Were there homosexual celebrities who were out and succesful? Of course. But pretty much all of them revealed their sexual orientation only after they had become famous. It would've been a lot easier for Lexa to come out after she had been the protagonist of a world-renowned vampire franchise movie, with good scripts flying her way on a daily basis and the best directors lining up to work with her. Or if she had had her own talk show and a sitcom or if she had been the star of an Oscar-winning comedy-drama film about a pregnant teenager who decides to have the baby and gives it up for adoption to a character played by Jennifer Garner.

But no, Lexa was just a 26-year old Australian actress, getting her first recognition for playing a role in a drama series that still hadn't reached its full potential and had only recently had an increase in the number of viewers, mostly after winning an Emmy for Lead actress.

It was quite the shock waking up the next morning and seeing that the number of followers on her social media accounts had doubled in a matter of hours after the event. And by the end of October she had about 10 million followers all together and it felt pretty exciting and scary at the same time.

The last month had been a real roller coaster for Lexa, shooting in Vancouver all day long, looking over some scripts at night for a few films that had been offered to her, deciding which way she would like her career to go from there and thinking about her next big step.

It all happened all of the sudden and there were so many changes in such short period of time, although there was one thing that had remained the same.

Her love for Clarke.

It was pretty much the only thing that was a constant in her life and she wouldn't have had it any other way.

And now Clarke was going to watch her talk on national television about how she was not looking for a relationship and was perfectly happy being single. She knew it was probably not the best idea keeping it from Clarke for a whole week, but then again, she wasn't quite sure how to start a conversation like that. They hadn't even talked about their future as a couple, it was in fact something that Lexa had been actively avoiding.

Pretty cowardly of her, right?

At least that's how she saw it herself, even though she knew the real reason behind it was something much bigger that had to do with Lexa's first relationship.

Zoey was the first girl she loved and also the first one who broke her heart. They were high school sweethearts and Zoey made her feel so special and beautiful, something she never really thought of herself before she met her.

Even years after they broke up, Lexa would often catch herself thinking about the last night they were together when they promised each other that no matter the distance, they would always find a way to be together. Lexa had just turned 18 and it was her goodbye party before she left for Los Angeles to pursue her acting career.

She remembered looking into her grey-blue eyes filled with tears, as she stroke the strands of dark ash blonde hair falling down her cheeks moments before they kissed goodbye, thinking she never wanted to feel another lips on hers ever again.

Next thing she knew, she was on the phone with her friend Marny who was telling her that she had seen Zoey kissing a guy who was now, about eight years later, her husband and they were expecting a baby.

Lexa eventually got over it, but it was the last time she let herself blindly trust anyone, which was probably why she couldn't make it work with anyone after that.

And then she met Clarke.

Her first platonic teenage crush, who had grown up to become the woman who managed to break down her walls.

After so many years, Lexa finally felt ready to give herself to someone again, quite irrationally, considering she had just met Clarke, but there was something about the blonde telling her she would catch her if she fell.

And fall she did.

Crazy in love.

The kind of crazy that you suddenly find yourself on a plane, flying across the ocean to spend ten days with a person you had just met.

The kind of crazy that sends shivers down your spine everytime you think of her warm breath in your ear, whispering sweet nothings with her sexy, raspy voice.

The kind of crazy that breaks your heart in half when you find out she hadn't been completely honest with you.

The kind of crazy that no matter how hard Lexa tried, she couldn't stay mad at her, because she knew the blonde was the missing part, the yin to her yang and any other phrase she could think of to describe how Clarke completed her.

She loved how patient she was with her when Lexa would take forever to decide on a simple thing such as ice cream flavour.

Or how excited Clarke was when she told her about the Emmy nomination.

And she especially loved when Clarke would let her guard down just for her, making herself completely vulnerable, something that the blonde didn't like being at all, yet she did it for Lexa.

Clarke had opened up to her and told her about the reason she had pretty much cut off her father, feeling torn between the love and gratitude she had for him as a parent, and the huge disappointment she found him to be as a man and a husband.

Lexa loved the way Clarke's eyes lit up when she talked about how it was her father's support and enthusiasm what encouraged her to participate in the talent show, always making her feel that she could do anything she would set her mind to.

But she also knew that everytime Clarke picked up her guitar, there was a piece of her soul that ached with each chord she played, unable to shut down the memory of the day her father bought it for her.

And Lexa just wanted to hold her and make it all better, especially because she could see that Clarke had become used to being the strong one, the one that never needed to be held.

The protector and not the protected.

Yet, when she was with Lexa, Clarke seemed to be perfectly comfortable coming undone in her arms, leaving the stoic attitude aside and simply enjoying being Lexa's little spoon.

And Lexa loved that. She knew she loved her and only her, so much that she could already picture Clarke as the mother of her children.

The one she wanted to grow old with.

The one.

Interestingly enough, the idea of it was not what was scaring her. Nor the fact that they hadn't known each other that long before she developed those strong feelings.

What was scary for Lexa was the idea of making plans with Clarke, getting her hopes up and then none of them coming true.

Just like the plans she made with Zoey and all of them fell through the cracks the moment she got on the plane.

If it hurt so much back then, losing her high school love, she didn't even want to think about how much it would hurt now with Clarke, whom she loved more than she had ever imagined possible.

So maybe not making things official between them was a better solution, because if she didn't really have her, she couldn't really lose her, right?

Stupid? Probably. But it was the only thing she could come up with at the moment, even though she was aware it was pretty much like fixing a cracked windshield with a Band Aid and going at full speed on the highway, hoping it turns out for the best.

And there she was, sitting across her friend Maia in a restaurant in downtown L.A., barely touching the food on her plate, lost in her thoughts with the word 'seen' sitting heavy on her mind.

Lexa had recieved a notification that Clarke had posted a photo on Instagram, which she opened and liked immediately before she sent her a message, complimenting her Halloween outfit.

An hour later and Clarke still hadn't replied, the word 'seen' under the message staring at her every time she opened the dm, making her even more anxious than she already was.

"Lexa..." Maia's voice interrupted her thoughts.

"Mm?"

"What is up with you? You're checking your phone like crazy and you're not eating..." Maia expressed her concern.

"Sorry... I just... Ugh..." Lexa exhaled. "Never mind, it's stupid."

"Dude..." Maia tilted her head to the side and gave her a look that Lexa had seen too many times before to know there was no point in trying to keep it all in.

"It's Clarke..." she finally spoke. "She left me on 'seen'."

"Is it the first time?" Maia asked and saw Lexa nod. "What did you write?"

"I told her she looked hot in her Halloween costume and I asked about the party..."

"What time is it there, anyway?"

"It's + 9 hours, so it's... Midnight..." she answered after checking the time on the phone.

"Well, there you go... She's probably too drunk to text or maybe they went out and she forgot her phone," Maia tried to put Lexa's mind at ease.

"Clarke would never do that... She never forgets her things, even when she's super drunk... She's mad at me, I know it..."

"Why would she be mad at you?"

"Because of what I said on The Ellen show..." Lexa replied. "You know, about being single and not looking for a commitment..."

"No way, nah ah..." Maia shook her head. "I'm sure she knows that everyone lies in the interviews... Plus, I'm guessing you told her all about it last week, so why would she be mad now?" she said before she took a bite of her food.

"Well... I..." Lexa tilted her head down. "I didn't exactly tell her _that_ part..." she confessed.

"Oh..." Maia stopped chewing for a second.

"Yeah... I know I fucked up, ok? But on the other hand, we still haven't really talked about... Us."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean... We haven't had 'The talk'..." Lexa explained.

"What?" Maia widened her eyes. "But I've heard you say 'I love you' to each other over the phone... And even your mum told me how happy she was that you and Clarke were so in love..."

"I know... We know how we feel, we just haven't talked about where it's all going and we haven't made it... You know... official."

"Why the hell not?" Maia was confused.

Lexa shrugged as she unlocked the screen on her phone, checking for new messages yet again.

Maia knew there was more than Lexa was willing to tell, but decided not to inquire at the moment.

"Well, you better do it soon before you lose her..." she said, seeing the impact of her words reflected on Lexa's face.

Lexa frowned as she grabbed her phone again after asking the waiter to bring her the check.

_"Seen"_

_ClarkeGriffin Active 1h ago._

Lexa paid for lunch and put the phone inside her bag before they left the restaurant, unpleasantly surprised by the paparazzi waiting in front of the entrance, taking photos of them as they were trying to get to their car.

* * *

Meanwhile, Clarke was dancing with Ricky and Luna at the club, having fun, thankful for the temporary amnesia the alcohol had provided her. She left them on the dance floor as she walked over to the bar to get the next round of drinks.

It was 4 am and Raven and Octavia had already left about an hour ago in order to take advantage of the empty apartment before Clarke and Luna would come back from the club.

Clarke asked for three glasses of vodka and two energy drinks, because she needed something to keep her up so she could keep dancing. It didn't even cross her mind that it might not have been the best idea, considering she had already drunk gin-tonic and tequila at home, so adding vodka to the mix was probably not something she'd be thankful for in the morning.

As she was pouring the energy drink into the glasses, she became aware that the person next to her was watching her closely. Clarke was about to open the second energy drink and it nearly slipped from her hands when she looked up and saw... Lexa?

Only it wasn't Lexa, it was actually someone dressed as_ Heda_ and the moment she smiled at Clarke, she knew that it wasn't the smile that had won her heart.

"You made the cutest face when you were mixing the drinks," the girl leaned over to talk into Clarke's ear.

"Great costume!" Clarke replied, ignoring the compliment.

"Thanks! I love Heda!" the girl said excitedly. "And Lexa Woods, of course."

"So do I..." Clarke said quietly as she smiled at the girl, before she grabbed the drinks and walked away from her.

She found Ricky and Luna on the dance floor and gave them the drinks, telling them she needed to get some fresh air. They offered to go outside with her, but Clarke assured them she would be fine on her own and that she would be back shortly.

There were a lot od people standing in front of the entrance, so she walked a little further until she saw the bench where they sat when Lexa was there.

She reached in her pocket, took out her phone and opened the YouTube app. There was a song that kept coming up on the radio over the last couple of days and she hadn't been able to get it out of her mind.

It reminded her so much of Lexa and the situation between them, and the lyrics especially hit a spot after seeing Lexa's interview, confirming what she had been fearing all along.

Nothing came to mind when she wanted to reply to Lexa's message on Instagram earlier that night, and she still found herself troubled.

In fact, she was grateful that the incident with Juanmi happened around the same time she had gotten the message, so she didn't mind being distracted by it, giving her the perfect excuse not to reply immediately.

Five hours later and she still hadn't come up with anything.

The only thing she was sure of was that she couldn't pretend and reply something simple to the message, avoiding the elephant in the room and acting as if everything was alright.

Instead she opened the chat she had with Lexa on WhatsApp and shared the link of the lyric video of the song.

**Text message**

_Clarke (4:13 am):_

After sending the text, Clarke went back inside to occupy her mind with something other than Lexa.

* * *

It was a little after 7 pm in L.A. and Lexa had just gotten out of the shower when she heard the sound of an incoming message on her phone. She grabbed it instantly, feeling a mixture of excitement and fear at the thought that it could be Clarke.

Her heart nearly jumped out of her chest when she saw Clarke's name, her fingers shaking as she opened the chat on WhatsApp and all she found was a link of a video.

She clicked on it and started listening to the song, paying special attention to the lyrics.

🎶 _Lewis Capaldi - Hold me while you wait_ 🎶

_I'm waitin' up, savin' all my precious time_   
_Losin' light, I'm missin' my same old us_   
_Before we learned our truth too late_   
_Resigned to fate, fadin' away_   
_So tell me, can you turn around?_   
_I need someone to tear me down_   
_Oh, tell me, can you turn around?_   
_But either way_

_Hold me while you wait_   
_I wish that I was good enough (hold me while you wait)_   
_If only I could wake you up (hold me while you wait)_   
_My love, my love, my love, my love_   
_Won't you stay a while? (Hold me while you wait)_

_Tell me more, tell me something I don't know_   
_Could we come close to havin' it all?_   
_If you're gonna waste my time_   
_Let's waste it right_

_And hold me while you wait_   
_I wish that I was good enough (hold me while you wait)_   
_If only I could wake you up (hold me while you wait)_   
_My love, my love, my love, my love_   
_Won't you stay a while? (Hold me while you wait)_   
_I wish you'd cared a little more (hold me while you wait)_   
_I wish you'd told me this before (hold me while you wait)_   
_My love, my love, my love, my love_   
_Won't you stay a while? (Hold me while you wait)_

_This is you, this is me, this is all we need_   
_Is it true? My faith is shaken, but I still believe_   
_This is you, this is me, this is all we need_   
_So won't you stay a while?_

_And hold me while you wait_   
_I wish that I was good enough (hold me while you wait)_   
_If only I could wake you up (hold me while you wait)_   
_My love, my love, my love, my love_   
_Won't you stay a while? (Hold me while you wait)_   
_I wish you'd cared a little more (hold me while you wait)_   
_I wish you'd told me this before (hold me while you wait)_   
_My love, my love, my love, my love_   
_Won't you stay a while? (Hold me while you wait)_

_Stay a while (hold me while you wait)_   
_(My faith is shaken, but I still believe) Stay a while_   
_(Hold me while you wait)_   
_My love, my love, my love (hold me while you wait)_   
_Won't you stay a while?_

By the time the song was over, Lexa's face was wet from the warm tears falling down her cheeks, feeling sad to see that Clarke could ever think she didn't care for her.

_"I wished you'd cared a little more..."_

_"I wish that I was good enough..."_

Was it a reaction to the interview and to Lexa being reluctant to make their relationship official?

Was it possible that Clarke thought she wasn't good enough for Lexa?

_"My faith is shaken, but I still believe..."_

Hope. There was still hope.

Lexa held onto it, praying Clarke might not be ready to give up on them just yet.

She didn't think twice before she went to the bedroom and called Clarke.

* * *

Around 5 am, the club announced its closing time by turning on the lights, so Clarke, Ricky and Luna were on their way out when the blonde took the phone out of her pocket.

The alcohol had started to wear off and she remembered she had sent Lexa a song as she unlocked the screen and saw two missed calls and a message from Lexa.

_Lexa_  
2 Missed Video Calls

**Text message**

_Lexa (4:20 am)_  
"Clarke, could you call me, please?"

Shit. Lexa wanted to talk.

What had she done?

She shouldn't have sent her that song.

Clarke started to panic on the inside, wondering if Lexa was about to break things off. Or maybe she just wanted to explain herself...

But Lexa didn't owe her an explanation, did she?

It was more likely that she thought Clarke was becoming needy and wanted to get rid of her before it got too complicated.

There was only one way of finding out.

She started typing.

_Clarke (5:02 am):_  
"Hey... I didn't hear the phone. I'm on my way home now."

The ticks turned blue instantly and she saw that Lexa was typing.

_Lexa (5:02 am):_  
"It's ok... Could we talk when you get home? Unless you're too tired..."

_Clarke (5:03 am):_  
"Sure. I'll text you."

* * *

Twenty minutes later, after making the sofa bed for Luna, Clarke went to her bedroom and sat on the bed, getting ready to let Lexa know she was home.

She was holding the phone in her hands and forced herself to start typing.

_Clarke (5:25 am):_  
"I'm home. Video call?"

About fifteen seconds later she pressed the green button, answering the video call from Lexa.

**Video call**

_Lexa:_  
"Hey..." she smiled softly.

_Clarke:_  
"Hey..." Clarke smiled back.

_Lexa:_  
"You don't have your wig on," Lexa was struggling to start a conversation.

_Clarke:_  
"Oh... Yeah..." she touched the top of her head awkwardly. "I took it off in the club already... It was too hot."

_Lexa:_  
"It... Um... It looked really good on you..." Lexa said timidly.

_Clarke:_  
"Thank you..." she smiled.

_Lexa:_  
"How was it? At the club...?"

_Clarke:_  
"It was good... I needed to sweat out the alcohol, though, so I danced a lot and drank only water in the last hour..."

_Lexa:_  
"How drunk were you?" Lexa was curious.

_Clarke:_  
"Well... I started drinking around 9 pm, I think? So... Yeah, pretty drunk..." she chuckled.

_Lexa:_  
"Oh... I hadn't heard from you since this morning... when you were waiting for Raven and Octavia to arrive..." she was getting closer to what she really wanted to know.

_Clarke:_  
"Um... yeah, sorry about that... I just... Things got complicated around here... Juanmi was being an asshole because Octavia told him about Raven and, well..." Clarke explained.

_Lexa:_  
"Wow, really?" Lexa was beginning to wonder if Clarke wasn't mad at her after all. "What happened?"

_Clarke:_  
"It was right about the time you sent me the message on Instagram, actually... I was on the balcony with Ricky when we heard the yelling... So we went inside and after hearing his homophobic bullshit, I threw him out of the apartment."

_Lexa:_  
"You did?" she widened her eyes. "It was that bad, huh?"

_Clarke:_  
"Pretty much... and his girlfriend, Luna, she's also mad at him for being an ignorant jerk, so she's sleeping here tonight..."

_Lexa:_  
"Damn... sounds like one hell of a night..."

_Clarke:_  
"Yeah... but we didn't let him ruin it for us... plus, there's nothing that tequila shots can't fix," she winked at Lexa playfully.

_Lexa:_  
"True that..." she laughed. "Did you go to Fenix?"

_Clarke:_  
"Yes... Oh, I almost forgot... there was a girl dressed like you for Halloween! I mean, like Heda... and in my drunken state, for a second I thought it was you..." she smiled softly.

_Lexa:_  
"Yeah? That's so cool when people dress up as Heda..." Lexa smiled back. "I hope you didn't kiss her, thinking it was me, though..."

_Clarke:_  
"Well... she did flirt with me..." Clarke said with a smug on her face.

_Lexa:_  
"Of course she did..." she rolled her eyes. "Who wouldn't, really... I mean... look at you..." she gave her a timid smile. "Did... um... did you flirt back?" she almost whispered it, afraid to hear the answer.

_Clarke:_  
"Would it matter to you if I did?" she replied with a counter-question.

_Lexa:_  
"Um... I... I mean... It's not up to me, but... if it were... I'd prefer if you didn't..." she managed to give Clarke an answer.

_Clarke:_  
"Okay..." she found Lexa's blushed cheeks adorable, but chose to keep the poker face. "Well, I didn't flirt... I'm not looking for a... distraction..." she emphasized the last word, trying to get a reaction from Lexa, since it was the same word she used in the interview.

_Lexa:_  
"Right..." she nodded, understanding the direction of the conversation. "You saw it, then..."

_Clarke:_  
"Saw what?" Clarke pretended she didn't know what Lexa was referring to.

_Lexa:_  
"Clarke..." Lexa tilted her head to the side, looking at the blonde. "I just followed Gary's instructions and told Ellen what he thought would be best for my career..."

_Clarke:_  
"You did a great job..." she smiled gently. "It was a great interview, really..."

_Lexa:_  
"Are you having doubts about us?"

_Clarke:_  
"What?" Clarke frowned.

_Lexa:_  
"The song..." Lexa explained. "Is that how you feel?"

Clarke shrugged and tilted her head down.

_Lexa:_  
"Clarke... I know that this last month has been very chaotic and we haven't been able to talk as much with me being in Vancouver and now back in L.A., but... I hope you know I think about you all the time... like... constantly..." Lexa said with determination.

_Clarke:_  
"You do?" she looked up at Lexa's face on the screen.

_Lexa:_  
"You know I do..." Lexa smiled softly, realizing it was the first time she was seeing this rather insecure side of Clarke and suddenly felt the need to hold her in her arms tighter than ever. "But, you know it's not a great time for me to come out of the closet..."

_Clarke:_  
"I know... I would never ask you to do that," she was quick to reply. "It's just that..." she exhaled, doubting if it was the right time for _The talk_. "Never mind, I'm still drunk and I'm also cranky because I'm sleepy..." she decided to back off.

_Lexa:_  
"Baby, please..." Lexa wasn't ready to let it go. "Talk to me..."

_Clarke:_  
"Lex, it's fine, really... I guess I was just feeling a bit insecure, that's all..."

_Lexa:_  
"It's my fault... I should've told you about it... I'm sorry, Clarke..." her eyes were starting to tear up.

_Clarke:_  
"Hey, love... Look at me... It's fine, really..." she was touched by Lexa's unexpected apology. "I know you had to say what you said, I understand..."

_Lexa:_  
"Thank you for understanding..." she gave her a sad smile. "You are not a distraction... You are the best thing that has ever happened to me..."

_Clarke:_  
"Babe..." Clarke's heart was racing as a tear of happiness rolled down her cheek. "I love you so much..."

_Lexa:_  
"I love you too," Lexa was also unable to hold back the tears. "God, look at me..." she said as she wiped her face with the back of her hand. "I'm pathetic."

_Clarke:_  
"You are perfect to me," the blonde smiled, looking at Lexa with all the love in the world.

_Lexa:_  
"I don't want this to end..." she confessed.

_Clarke:_  
"Me neither."

_Lexa:_  
"We're good, then?"

_Clarke:_  
"We're good."

They talked for another ten minutes before Lexa had to start getting ready for the Halloween party she was definitely going to be late for, but she didn't mind at all if it meant she got to look at Clarke's face a little longer.

Clarke went to bed immediately after they had stopped talking and woke up about six hours later, smiling at the photo she had recieved from Lexa, who was dressed as Mia Wallace, posing with her friends.

She was wearing a black short bob hair wig with bangs, red lipstick and fake blood under her nose, black pants, classic white shirt, unbottoned in the chest area, where Clarke could see Lexa's black bra and she was holding a fake adrenaline injection over her heart.

**Text message**

_Lexa (11:32 am):_  
"You make my heart beat faster than all the adrenaline in the world ever could ❤️"

Clarke's lips curled into a big smile as she hurried to write back.

_Clarke (11:59 am):_  
"And you have brought mine back to life ❤️"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo... What did you think of this chapter? 🤓 Do you feel like they fixed the problem or only scratched the surface? 🤔🤷🏼♀️
> 
> Let me know what you think will happen next 🤗
> 
> S.


	35. Blindfolded

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm publishing two chapters today 😊  
In the first one, "Blindfolded" I wrote about how sometimes all of us can be too quick to judge, about how communication is pretty much the key to everything and how the lack of it can lead to unresolved issues.  
Also I wouldn't advise you to read this chapter in public... there's a 🔥 Clexa 🔥 scene 🤭
> 
> Hope you like it!
> 
> S.

When it came to religion, Clarke was somewhere in between agnostic and atheist, but on the morning after Halloween she was glad that she lived in a Catholic country where the All Saints' Day was celebrated on the 1st of November. After the night she'd had, it most certainly came in very handy as it would've been impossible for her to function properly if she had had to go to work.

It was a little after noon when she emerged from the bedroom and found Raven and Octavia having coffee on the balcony.

"Where's Luna?" she asked after noticing the empty sofa bed on her way to joining her friends.

"Good morning to you too," Raven joked. –"In the bathroom," she answered after Clarke had sat at the table.

"Coffee?" Octavia offered.

"No, thanks... I just took Omeprazole and Naproxen, I'll wait for it to start working and then probably eat something..." Clarke explained.

"You're not so young anymore, are you Clarkie?" Raven teased her.

"You're the one to talk!" Clarke said playfully. "You two left like two hours before closing time..."

"That's only because we were horny and Octavia didn't want to do it in the bathroom at the club," she explained and received a shove on the shoulder from Octavia. "What? It's true!" she laughed as she leaned to give her girlfriend a peck on the lips.

"Awww you two are the cutest!" Luna said to the couple as she joined them on the balcony.

"I know someone who wouldn't agree with you..." Octavia said and the mood changed instantly.

"Yeah... Speaking of him... He has been texting me all morning," Luna added.

"Is he ready to apologize?" Clarke asked, raising an eyebrow.

"He swears he doesn't have a problem with Octavia dating a woman..." Luna replied.

"It's because she's with _me_, isn't it?" Raven took a guess. "He has a problem with _me_."

"Um... Yeah... Sorry..." Luna confirmed.

"What the fuck?" Octavia exclaimed. "He doesn't even know her! He never even talks to you when we all hang out together," she said, turning to Raven.

"Yeah..." Raven confirmed. "Except when... actually... Um... He kinda hit on me when we first met..." she said reluctantly.

"What? Did you...?" Octavia widened her eyes.

"No! No, no! Nothing happened... I wasn't interested... He was way too cocky and totally not my type..." Raven answered and looked at Luna. "Sorry..."

"Why are you sorry?" Luna laughed. "He's exactly like that when you first meet him... And he has a huge ego, which is probably why it must be killing him that his cousin got the only girl who has ever rejected him..."

"She can't be the only one, come on..." Clarke joined the conversation.

"Oh, believe me... I'm sure of it," Luna replied. "He really knows how to woo a woman... When I met him, he had the vibe of a player and I liked it, because I wasn't looking for anything serious at the time. But after a while, I saw that it was not just about the sex for him... He really started to open up to me and was being really nice and attentive... All that cockiness is just for show... He's actually a real teddy bear once you get to know him... That's why I fell in love with him... And let's just say that his ego is not the only thing that's huge, if you know what I mean..." she finished and winked at the girls as she took a sip of her coffee.

"Ewwww I did not need to know that!" Octavia frowned as she covered her ears with her hands, making everyone laugh.

"So, wait a minute... Are you saying he doesn't want Raven to be Octavia's girlfriend because she rejected him like... more than three years ago?" Clarke was confused.

"No... I don't think so... According to him, he's just trying to look out for Octavia because he thinks Raven is going to hurt her..." Luna explained. "Because..." she looked at Raven before continuing. "He thinks you're a player..."

"I see his point..." Raven tilted her head down. "He's right to have doubts about me..."

"No, he's not!" Octavia said as she cupped Raven's cheeks with her hands. "I know who you are and that's what matters. I'm choosing to be with you and I don't need his approval or anyone else's for that matter..."

"Yeah, but... I don't want you to lose your cousin over me..." Raven said quietly.

"If that happens, it will have nothing to do with you... That will be all on him... Okay?" Octavia leaned with her forehead on Raven's.

"He says he wants to talk," Luna interrupted the moment. "To all of you... He feels bad about what he said... What should I tell him?" she asked and they all looked at each other without saying a word.

"O... What do you say?" Clarke interrupted the silence.

"Only if you and Raven want to..." she said.

"I'm fine with it if he wants to come over and talk..." Clarke shrugged.

"Yeah... Me too," Raven agreed.

"Great! I'll text him," Luna smiled as she grabbed her phone.

* * *

About twenty minutes later, Juanmi arrived and they were all on the balcony, waiting for him to start the conversation.

Octavia's arm was resting over Raven's shoulders, letting her cousin know she had no intention of giving her girl up regardless of his opinion on the matter.

Clarke was sitting directly across from him and Luna, with her arms crossed over her chest and tapping her foot impatiently on the ground.

"So?" she interrupted the awkward silence. "I don't have all day."

"Um... Yes, sorry..." Juanmi swallowed hard. "I just don't know where to start..."

"Maybe you could start by apologizing," Luna suggested, as she squeezed gently his upper arm, trying to encourage him.

"Right... Yes..." he smiled at her before facing the women across from him. "I'm really sorry about what I said... I'm not blaming the alcohol, but I was really drunk and all this time I thought Raven was dating Clarke... So I guess I freaked out when O told me she was her girlfriend..." he explained.

"Okay, let's just make one thing clear, yeah?" Clarke interrupted. "Ray and I have never made out, had sex or dated. Two lesbians can actually live together without being involved in sexual activities with each other, orgies or whatever twisted things you thought of yesterday..."

"I know, I know..." he tilted his head down, remembering his acusations. "I'm really sorry about that... And, O..." he looked at Octavia. "I'm sorry if you thought that I wouldn't accept you for who you are... I swear I'm not homophobic..."

"You just don't accept Raven, is that right?" Octavia challenged him.

"Look... I don't have anything against Raven," he said and then turned to the Latina. "Raven, I think you're great and really fun to hang out with..."

"But not good enough to date your cousin, right?" Raven asked, sensing what he really meant to say.

"I just don't want Octavia to get hurt... And no ofense, but in all this time I've known you, you've been with a different person every week..." he said.

"So what?" Octavia interfered. "Like you weren't just like that before you met Luna? You know, right about the time you hit on Raven?" Octavia raised her eyebrows.

"Hey, that has nothing to do with this!" Juanmi defended himself. "That was a long time ago and I tried my luck, didn't work, so I moved on to the next girl I met that night... I was a mess back then."

2So it was okay for you to be with a different girl every week, but not for Raven?" Clarke asked. "Because for men it's allowed and even encouraged, but when a woman does it, she's considered promiscuous, to say the least..."

"I'm not saying that... It wasn't okay for me to do it either... But then I met Luna and everything changed... I changed," he explained.

"So you don't think it's possible that the same thing happened to me when I fell in love with Octavia?" Raven spoke, leaving Juanmi speechless. "Why can't you give me the benefit of the doubt? Look... I know we don't know each other that well, but I want you to know that my intentions with your cousin are serious... You met me in a period of my life when I was avoiding any kind of commitment not because I was afraid of it, but because I was still grieving..." she said and felt Octavia's hand on hers, giving her a gentle squeeze. "You see... My first girlfriend back in the U.S., she... she died and I thought I wasn't going to be able to love ever again... And not just that... I didn't _want_ to love anyone else... Until I met Octavia..." she looked at her greyish green eyes filled with love and smiled. "And believe me, I tried to fight it at first, I didn't want to admit to myself that I had been falling for her long before our first kiss in May..." Octavia smiled at her, remembering the first time she felt her lips on hers. "But I just couldn't stay away... I even tried being with other people and it felt all wrong... Because once I knew what it felt like having her in my arms, I didn't want to hold anyone else ever again..." she finished and looked around the table, noticing everyone's teary eyes.

"That was so beautiful, Raven..." Luna said as she wiped a tear off her cheek.

"Damn it, Ray... Now I miss Lexa even more..." Clarke's tear-stained face was suddenly wreathed in smiles.

They all started laughing, until Juanmi cleared his throat before speaking.

"Raven... I had no idea..." he said remorsefully. "I can't tell you how sorry I am for judging you and I hope one day you'll be able to forgive me... I can see how happy you make Octavia and I'm so glad you've found each other..." he said before he faced his cousin. "O, I'm so sorry..."

Octavia turned her head to Raven, looking for a confirmation in her eyes and once the Latina smiled at her, she stood up and went over to Juanmi.

"Come here, you idiot!" she grabbed his arm and pulled him up into a hug.

Not long after that, Raven and Clarke approached him as well and it became a group hug once all of them had joined, including Luna.

"Who wants a pizza?" Clarke offered as they were about to enter the living room.

"We all do, duh..." Raven laughed. "Right?" she asked as she looked at Juanmi.

"Um... Yeah, sure... If that's all right with you," he looked almost timidly at Luna.

"Of course, babe..." Luna smiled at him. "I'm starving."

"Awesome, I'll call the pizza place," Clarke said as she grabbed her phone.

After making the order, they were all sitting in the living room, listening to some music and chatting, except for Clarke who was not participating in the conversation as she was busy texting a pretty drunk Lexa.

"Hey, Clarke..." Juanmi tried to get her attention.

"Mm?" she responded without taking her eyes off the screen.

"You mentioned something about you missing... Alexa, was it?" he asked.

"What?" she looked up, confused because she heard only a part of the question.

"Alexa?" Juanmi repeated.

"Oh... Um.." Clarke was surprised by the heat she felt in her cheeks. "It's Lexa, actually..."

"Right, sorry..." Juanmi apologized. "You said something about missing her..."

"Yes... She's in the States and we haven't seen each other in a while..." she replied.

"That sucks..." he said with compassion in his eyes. "I didn't know you had a girlfriend..."

"Oh, well... She's um..." Clarke felt her cheeks blush yet again.

"Clarke claims they haven't made it official yet," Raven joined the conversation. "But we all know they can't breathe without each other, right blondie?" she winked at Clarke.

"Whatever..." she rolled her eyes at Raven and looked at the phone again, noticing there was a new message from Lexa.

She zoned out as Raven and Octavia started telling Juanmi and Luna the story about how they met in Paris, making them swear to secrecy before they revealed Lexa's identity.

Clarke would've told them herself, but she was too busy drooling over a selfie that Lexa had sent her, lying in bed with nothing but the black wig on, holding her naked breast in her hand, the hard nipple peeking in between her fingers.

**Messages**

_Lexa (1:04 pm):_  
"I want you so bad..."

_Clarke (1:04 pm):_  
"Fuck! 🤤"

_Lexa (1:04 pm):_  
"Yes, please... 😏"

_Clarke (1:05 pm):_  
"I wish I could, babe..."

_Lexa (1:05 pm):_  
"Why can't you?"

_Clarke (1:05 pm):_  
"I'm not alone... There are four other people in the living room..."

_Lexa (1:05 pm):_  
"Go to your room then 😉"

_Clarke (1:06 pm):_  
"And say what? 😁"

_Lexa (1:06 pm):_  
"Tell them it's a medical emergency... I'm burning up... And I need a doctor... 🌡️"

_Clarke (1:06 pm):_  
"You're killing me right now, you know that? 😩"

Clarke was starting to feel the wetness between her thighs soaking her underwear, struggling not to make it obvious that she was sexting Lexa.

And then she received two more photos from Lexa.

In the first one she could see the lower part of her abdomen, in a horizontal position, her legs flexed in the knees and wide open with her hand disappearing between them, covering her mons pubis.

The second one was a photo of Lexa's fingers, completely covered in her own wetness.

Clarke swallowed hard, feeling the walls of her sex tense as she was looking at the photos.

**Message**

_Lexa (1:07 pm)_:  
"I'm so wet for you, baby..."

_Clarke (1:07 pm):_  
"🤤🤤🤤 Fuck."

_Lexa (1:08 pm):_  
"Fuck? 😏"

_Clarke (1:08 pm):_  
"Yes. I'm on my way to my room."

Clarke suddenly stood up and saw the confussion on her friends' faces.

"I'll... I'll be right back," she said as she started to walk away from them.

"The pizzas should be here any minute," Octavia reminded her.

"Start without me!" she shouted from the hallway.

Clarke entered the bedroom and locked the door behind her before she sat on the bed.

Two ringtones later she saw Lexa on the phone screen, a naughty smile covering her face.

**Video call**

_Clarke:_  
"You're bad!" she laughed.

_Lexa:_  
"Who? Me?" Lexa blinked repeatedly, making a sad puppy face.

_Clarke:_  
"Oh, so you're all innocent now," Clarke raised an eyebrow and saw Lexa nod a few times, still faking innocence. "Mmm I don't buy it... I think you've been a bad girl..." she said with a smirk on her face.

_Lexa:_  
"Mmm maybe... you should... punish me then?" she said seductively.

_Clarke:_  
"I think I should, yes..."

Clarke stood up and left the phone leaning against the wall on the nightstand with the front camera facing her.

_Clarke:_  
"Lexa... Hold your phone in one hand... and the other one I need to see sitting still over your chest at all time, do you understand?" she gave an order and saw Lexa nod at her, biting her lower lip at the anticipation. "You are not allowed to touch yourself until I give you permission to do so, understood?" Lexa nodded again. "Good..."

The blonde stood in front of the camera and pulled off her top over her head, revealing a dark red bra covering her big breasts.

Lexa's eyes widened and she bit her lower lip even harder, trying to contain her arousal.

Clarke lips curled on one side, satisfied with the elicited reaction from the brunette and she turned to the side before she slid the jeans down her legs, observing how Lexa's eyes were focused on her ass.

She kicked her jeans off before she moved closer to the camera and leaned in front of it, offering Lexa the beautiful view of what she knew was the brunette's favourite part of her anatomy.

A moan escaped Lexa's throat when Clarke squeezed her breasts over the bra and she found it extremely difficult not to disobey Clarke's orders.

_Lexa:_  
"Fuck, Clarke... I'm so turned on..."

_Clarke:_  
"Don't even think about touching yourself, Lexa..." she said with a smirk, seeing the frustration on the brunette's face.

The blonde took a step back and moved her hands behind her back, reaching the clasp of the bra. She unhooked it quickly before she put her fingers under the straps and slowly slid them down her arms, letting the bra fall on the ground, exposing her naked torso.

Lexa's breathing was becoming heavier as Clarke moved her hand up and down her abdomen, between her breasts all the way to her lips and put two fingers in her mouth. As she was sucking them, her other hand was placed on one of her breasts, giving it gentle squeezes.

_Lexa:_  
"Baby, please... Please..." Lexa was desperate.

_Clarke:_  
"Not yet..." she said as she took her wet fingers out of her mouth, lowering them to her pink nipple where she made a few circles around it before continuing in the direction of her underwear.

She dug her hands under it, her fingers playing with the elastic band as she turned around and slowly bent over, sliding the panties down her thighs and showing Lexa the full extent of her behind.

The expression on Lexa's face curled Clarke's lips into a smirk as she looked at the camera over her shoulder, before she leaned forward even more and spread her buttcheeks with her hands, revealing her wetness.

Lexa's moans were becoming louder and the blonde decided to have mercy and to give her permission to finally touch herself. She turned around and walked over to the phone, rotating it towards the bed before she sat and spread her legs apart.

_Clarke:_  
"I want you to put the phone on the nightstand now, Lexa..." she gave another order, which the brunette immediately obeyed. "Good... Now I want you to take the pillow... And straddle it..."

As soon as Lexa did what was asked of her, she continued.

_Clarke:_  
"Now I want you to ride your own hand, imagining you're sitting on my face... And I want you to watch me cum..." she said as she touched her throbbing clitoris, content to see that Lexa was following her instructions.

The brunette's arousal was at its highest long before she was allowed to touch herself, so it didn't take a lot of time before she started moving her hips at a frenetic pace, with her fingers buried deep inside of her, loud moans leaving her throat as she rode out an intense orgasm while looking at Clarke, whose release followed only a few seconds after Lexa's.

After their breathing had calmed down, they smiled at each other as they sat up in bed, sweaty and flushed.

_Lexa:_  
"Damn..." she broke the comfortable silence.

_Clarke:_  
"Yeah..."

_Lexa:_  
"The best bedtime story ever!" they both laughed.

_Clarke:_  
"It's very late there, babe... You should sleep..."

_Lexa:_  
"Not done giving orders, huh?" she teased her.

_Clarke:_  
"I didn't see you complain earlier," she raised an eyebrow.

_Lexa:_  
"Mmm... I wouldn't dream of it," she smiled. "I really needed to see you before I go back to Vancouver tomorrow..."

_Clarke:_  
"Well... I think you saw pretty much all of me," she joked.

_Lexa:_  
"And I stored every single detail in my _spank bank_," she winked at her.

_Clarke:_  
"Spank bank?" Clarke laughed out loud. "My God, Lex... I love you so much."

_Lexa:_  
"I love you too, babe..."

_Clarke:_  
"Sleep well..."

_Lexa:_  
"Thanks... I'll text you when I wake up."

_Clarke:_  
"Okay, love... Talk to you soon."

They blew kisses to the camera before ending the video call.

* * *

In the next three weeks, Clarke and Lexa had stayed in contact, videocalling whenever they could and in the last week of November, the blonde was trying to get her courage up to open up the subject of the possibility of seeing each other over the Christmas holidays.

It was Wednesday morning and she had just got home after finishing a 24-hour shift at the hospital when she received a message from Lexa, sending her a photo from the set. She was dressed as Heda and there were some stunt actors and people from production in the back.

Her head was turned to the side and Clarke couldn't help but ogle Lexa's strong, but elegant jawline all the way to her full lips, stopping at last at the bright green eyes shining through the black war paint around them.

**Messages**

_Lexa (8:50 am):_  
"Aaaand... It's a wrap! 🎬 I've been meaning to send you this photo since this morning but we only finished shooting 15 minutes ago 😩"

_Clarke (8:50 am):_  
"👀🔥🔥🔥 Damn... How are you this perfect? 😍 And how did I get so lucky? 😏"

_Lexa (8:51 am):_  
"You could've been getting even luckier 😏 if they hadn't drained the life out of me... 😴"

_Clarke (8:51 am):_  
"It's almost midnight over there... That's brutal... Why did you shoot all day? Are you behind schedule or something?"

_Lexa (8:52 am):_  
"It's because of stupid Thanksgiving 😤 It's on Thursday, so we were trying to wrap things up a day early, because most of the crew are flying out to the States tomorrow morning..."

_Clarke (8:52 am):_  
"Oh, right... I forgot about that stupid holiday... You're staying then?"

_Lexa (8:53 am):_  
"Yeah... It's only 5 days and I don't feel like getting on a plane. Plus, Maia just called to tell me that she, Rudy and some friends are coming over tomorrow. They've rented a cabin in the woods for the Holidays."

_Clarke (8:54 am):_  
"That's cool 😊 you won't be alone then."

_Lexa (8:54 am):_  
"Yeah, it should be fun 😉 How was your shift? Are you home already?"

_Clarke (8:54 am):_  
"I just got home 😊 It was good actually, I even had time to answer a videocall from Madi and you know how long those can get 🤭"

_Lexa (8:55 am):_  
"Oh, cool! 😁 How is she?"

_Clarke (8:55 am):_  
"She's good, she was actually trying to get me to book a flight to Melbourne..."

_Lexa (8:55 am):_  
"Right, I keep forgeting it's almost December 🤦🏻♀️ So, did you?"

_Clarke (8:56 am):_  
"No... I'm not sure I want to go this year..."

_Lexa (8:56 am):_  
"Why not? 🤨"

_Clarke (8:56 am):_  
"I was hoping you'd might want to spend the Holidays together? If you don't have other plans, of course..."

_Lexa (8:57 am):_  
"I don't have that many days off... 😔 I'm flying to L.A. over the weekend before Christmas, because I have to do a photoshoot on the 23rd... Then the production's Christmas party is on the 24th. And also Aden is talking something about coming to L.A. to spend New Year's Eve together..."

_Clarke (8:58 am):_  
"Wow, you're all booked then 🙂"

_Lexa (8:58 am):_  
"I'm sorry... I'm pretty much stuck here until we're done shooting the season..."

_Clarke (8:58 am):_  
"So when do you think will that be?"

_Lexa (8:59 am):_  
"Probably by the end of February..."

_Clarke (8:59 am):_  
"Okay."

_Lexa (8:59 am):_  
"I'm sorry, baby... There's just no way for me to travel right now... Do you have a lot of vacation days left?"

Clarke's heart jumped at the question, hoping Lexa was about to ask her to visit her instead.

_Clarke (9:00 am):_  
"It's okay, I understand 😘 Yes, I have two weeks left..."

_Lexa (9:00 am):_  
"That's awesome, babe... You should go see your family, they must miss you like crazy 😉"

Clarke's eyes widened, unable to process what she had just read. She wasn't upset at all about Lexa not being able to come to Spain, in fact, she understood that perfectly, no doubt about it. It was about the fact that not only Lexa hadn't brought up the subject about seeing each other again, but she also seemed to have no intention of inviting her to L.A. instead. Even after telling her she could take two weeks off work. Plenty of time to make the trip.

Even if they wouldn't had been able to spend all that time together, there were still enough ways to plan around it, so it would actually work for both of them. It was obvious Lexa was going to stay in L.A. for at least ten days before going back to Canada, and she surely didn't have all of them booked, so why wouldn't she want Clarke to visit her?

Was it possible that she was afraid someone would see them together and out her?

If that was the case, Clarke wouldn't mind not leaving Lexa's apartment at all during her stay, it wasn't like she would be going to L.A. for the sightseeing anyway.

Or maybe it was that Lexa wanted to save Clarke the trouble of travelling all the way to the States and was in fact just reluctant to ask?

But she was comfortable sending her to Australia to visit her family? Her family, who must miss her like crazy, as she had put it.

Didn't Lexa miss her like crazy as well?

The wheels in Clarke's head started spinning fast, coming up with all sorts of explanations why Lexa was not showing an interest in seeing her again, and she didn't like what she came up with.

She didn't like it at all.

The sound of an incoming message forced her to come down from the train of thoughts.

**Messages**

_Lexa (9:03 am):_  
"Babe, I just got to the hotel, so I'm going to have a shower and go to bed 😴 Talk later? Love you 😘"

Whatever questions Clarke had, they sure weren't going to be answered anytime soon, so she decided to wish Lexa goodnight and leave it at that.

_Clarke (9:04 am):_  
"Sleep well 😘 love you too."

She was too pissed to talk to anyone and felt glad that she was alone at the apartment.

After a quick shower, things were actually starting to become clearer, as if the water had washed away the blindfold she seemed to had been wearing ever since she had fallen in love with Lexa.

Suddenly Clarke saw no reason for her to make any plans regarding Lexa, since it seemed the brunette had absolutely no intention of doing it either.

Instead, she took her phone and texted her sister Madi, inviting her to come to Spain for the holidays instead of Clarke going to Australia.

Madi didn't think twice before she booked the flight, excited to see her little sister.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, I'd like to hear your opinions before you continue to the next chapter...  
\- Do you think Juanmi's apology was genuine?  
\- Did you like Clexa's video... call? 🤭  
\- What do you think the lack of communication will lead to? Why do you think Lexa didn't invite Clarke to visit her in L.A.?


	36. Foundation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's the second chapter of the day, as promised 😉  
Instead of writing a chapter summary, I'm going to leave this with you:  
1\. The actress I have in mind for Madi's character is Kaya Scodelario 😊  
2\. Please, don't hate me.
> 
> S.

On the late afternoon of the 20th of December, Clarke and her friends were on their way to Málaga to pick up Madi from the airport.

Raven was driving and Octavia was buckled up in the front passenger seat, shuffling through her playlist, taking on the role of a dj for the road.

It had been a little more than three weeks since Clarke had invited her sister and in that period she and Lexa had been mostly texting, having had only a few video calls, all of them on the brunette's initiative.

Clarke was not even mad any more, she had pretty much resigned to her fate and had decided to adopt a new philosophy on life and to just _go with the flow_, wherever it might take her.

It was something she had always found pretty hard to do, since she was more of a _stick to the plan _kind of person, but she figured she had no choice but to try it, if she didn't want to lose her mind overthinking the whole 'Lexa situation'.

That was until an hour ago when she received an email from the _The Cedars-Sinai Medical Center _in Los Angeles, congratulating her on being accepted to their 5th year residency program of Orthopaedic Surgery and Traumatology.

That was definitely a game changer.

She was sitting in the back seat of Raven's car, wondering if she should tell Lexa before officially accepting the residency or if she should just take the spot and simply inform her that she would be moving to L.A. in less than five months.

Taking Lexa out of the equation, she asked herself if she was actually excited about it and quickly realized that she was definitely glad she had applied and was looking forward to spend her last year as a resident in one of the top 3 Orthopaedic Surgery and Traumatology Centers in the States.

After all, medicine was her passion and she had already moved twice pursuing her dream, so she didn't stress at all about doing it all over again.

What was the worst thing that could happen anyway? If she didn't like it, she could always go back to Spain where the chief of the ward had assured her many times that there would always be a spot waiting for her.

So she decided to write back, officially accepting the residency, and tell Lexa later.

Go with the flow, right?

* * *

Once they had picked up Madi from the airport, they decided to go right back to Marbella, so they could all be well rested for Octavia's birthday party the following day.

Clarke had decided to talk to Lexa on Sunday, since she was going to be in L.A. since the day before, so she figured they could have a video call.

On Saturday evening, Clarke, Madi and Raven were in the living room, getting the place ready for the guests, putting out the food and drinks Octavia had brought by earlier that day.

A little before 9 pm, the doorbell rang and Raven rushed to answer the intercom, buzzing them in once she recognized Octavia's voice.

She didn't even notice Juanmi and Luna behind her once she laid eyes on her beautiful girlfriend, who looked stunning, wearing a short, fitted V-cut black dress with long, lace sleeves.

Octavia gave her a broad smile as she threw herself in Raven's arms, oblivious to the fact she was blocking the entrance for Juanmi and Luna.

Raven lifted her up and moved her around to make space for the couple to enter the apartment.

"Babe, you were blocking them," Raven whispered in her ear.

"I know and I don't care," she said as she placed a kiss just below Raven's jaw. "It's my birthday and I can do whatever I want," she continued leaving kisses down Raven's neck.

"Mmm you're right," the Latina could only smile at Octavia's wit. "You look amazing, by the way..."

"You like the dress?" Octavia moved away from her girlfriend's neck to find her eyes.

"Love it... It looks really good on you..." Raven leaned into a quick kiss.

"Mmm... Wait till you see how it'll look on the floor of my bedroom later," Octavia winked at Raven, leaving her with her mouth open, nearly drooling while ogling her girlfriend's alluring curves in that tiny black dress as she was walking away from her.

About fifteen minutes later, the doorbell rang again and this time Clarke was closest to the intercom, so she buzzed Ricky in.

Once he was inside the apartment, he gave Octavia her present and then greeted everyone else.

"Ricky, you haven't met my sister, right?" Clarke remembered.

"No, I haven't... I didn't know she was visiting," he smiled.

"She just arrived yesterday," Clarke explained. "There she is now, I'll introduce you," she said as she tilted her head in the direction of the kitchen.

Ricky turned around at the moment Madi was entering the living room, holding two glasses of gin-tonic and was walking over to where he and Clarke were standing.

He was instantly captivated by her beauty and suddenly the room seemed brighter, as if she had lit it up just with her presence.

Madi had opted for a knee-length red dress, cut straight across her _decolletage_, allowing a hint at her cleavage, in combination with a black fake leather jacket and black ankle boots.

Unlike Clarke, her hair was brown and they didn't look much alike, expect for their blue eyes, even though Madi's were a bit darker. She was taller and slimmer as well, and her bra size was probably about two cups smaller than her sister's who envied her for inheriting the smaller breasts in the family.

"Ricky, this is my sister Madi," Clarke started the introduction in English once her sister had given her the beverage. "Madi, this is Ricky."

"Hi, I'm Madeline," she said as she shook Ricky's hand.

"Ricky, nice to meet you," he smiled at her, getting lost in her blue eyes.

"Oh, thank God, you speak English..." her smile widened once she realized she could finally have a conversation with someone other than her sister, as Octavia and Raven often seemed to be disappearing every now and then, whereas Juanmi and Luna didn't really speak English.

"I do," he laughed. "Do you understand Spanish?"

"Not really..." she confessed. "I mean, I know a few simple phrases but here everyone speaks so fast, it sound pretty much like Chinese to me," they both laughed, Madi noticing for the first time how beautiful Ricky's smile was.

"I'll leave you two talk... I have to check something in the kitchen," Clarke said before she left them alone to work something out of the chemistry she was sure she had just witnessed.

"Yes, this part of Spain is known for the typical Andalusian dialect where they speak fast and most words are pronounced without the last letter..." he explained. "And not just the last letter, actually..."

"See? I knew it wasn't my fault!" she laughed. "Give me an example."

"Well, you'll probably hear someone say _pesao _instead of _pesado_, or _comé _instead of _comer_."

"The first word you said... Doesn't that mean _fish_?" she took a guess.

"That's actually _pescado,"_ he smiled gently.

"Damn it!" she laughed. "And here I was thinking I had remembered at least one of the words I was trying to memorize on the flight here."

"It's understandable, it's only one letter anyway," he winked at her.

"I hope the waiter will be as understanding as you are when I order a _pesado _instead of _pescado,"_ she said, making Ricky laugh out loud. "What? What does it mean?" Madi laughed as well.

"It means _heavy,"_ he explained. "Like, if you say '_Es un pesado'_, you're saying someone is a heavy person, character-wise."

"Well, that's just great... My sister had to move to a country where I can't even order a meal without completely embarrassing myself," Madi laughed.

"Don't worry about it..." he smiled softly. "I could help you out with that, if you'd like... Plus, I'm a great cook and I'd be happy to prepare a home-cooked Cuban meal for you if you get thrown out of every fish restaurant in Marbella."

"Well, I might just have to take you up on that offer," Madi smiled back. "How long have you lived in Spain?"

They continued getting to know each other and Madi couldn't help but stare at his big, strong hands as he was telling her how passionate he felt about his profession and was seriously considering to book him for a one-hour whole body massage session.

Ricky was mesmerized by everything Madi did or said and when she showed him the newest line of clothing she had designed, he found it to be exactly how he saw Madi - simply elegant, sophisticated and beautiful.

* * *

A few hours later, after they each had a piece of the birthday cake Clarke had made for Octavia, the group was on their way to Fenix to dance the night away.

They were having a great time and Clarke was standing by the bar behind Raven and Octavia, who were laughing and talking with Juanmi and Luna.

Ricky and Madi were on the dance floor, whereas Clarke was about to ask for the second round of drinks when she felt someone tapping her on the shoulder.

She turned around and saw a familiar face she hadn't seen in months, but recognized immediately.

"Claudia!" she smiled at her former patient. "What are you doing here?"

"Hello, Dr. Griffin," the young woman leaned to talk near Clarke's ear. "It's December... I'm legal now, remember?" she said and winked seductively at the blonde.

"Oh, right... You turned 18 this month," Clarke smiled awkwardly, trying to keep the necessary distance between them.

"Let me buy you a drink," Claudia moved closer to the bar, standing next to Clarke.

"Oh, no no, that's fine," the blonde politely declined Claudia's offer. "I was just about to ask for another round for my friends."

"Your friends?" Claudia inquired. "No girlfriend?"

"Um..." Clarke was caught off guard, surprised at the girl's bluntness.

"Oh, please don't tell me you're still with that doctor..." Claudia continued.

"What?" Clarke was intrigued. "Who are you talking about?"

"That Catalan chick," she replied, clearly referring to Clarke's ex. "Eva something... I saw her name on the ID badge when she came to your consultation room that one time... So I googled her and saw some photos of the two of you on her Instagram."

"Wow... That's... Um... I'm not sure how to react to that," Clarke was feeling a bit uncomfortable, although she couldn't say she was really surprised, knowing how shamelessly Claudia always tried to flirt with her when Clarke was her doctor.

"I hope you're not together any more, because honestly... You could do so much better..." she leaned a little closer. "You could do me, for example..."

"Claudia..." Clarke took a step back, increasing the distance between them. "I'm not with Eva any more, but that doesn't mean..."

Claudia interrupted her mid-sentence as she hastily moved her head towards Clarke's, trying to reach her lips, all of it happening so fast that the blonde barely had time to grasp what was going on before she pushed the young woman away from her, almost instinctively.

"Claudia!" she have her a fury look. "That's unacceptable!"

"What? You said you're not dating Eva any more," Claudia bit her lower lip playfully, still looking at Clarke.

"That doesn't mean you can kiss me without my permission!" Clarke was getting angrier by the minute.

"Don't you like me?" Claudia was still not ready to give up, although she was starting to feel the cold coming from Clarke's eyes.

"I'm sorry... I don't look at you that way..." she managed to say it calmly, seeing the insecurity in Claudia's eyes, overshadowing the young woman's once confident demeanour. "It's not you... Trust me... You seem like a nice girl and you're very attractive... But I'm in love with someone else."

"Oh..." Claudia tilted her head down, finally accepting the defeat.

"Hey..." Clarke placed her fingers under the girl's chin, making her lift her head up, finding her sad eyes. "I bet there's thousands of other girls who would give anything for you to even glance in their direction," Clarke tried to comfort her.

"Yeah... But none of them is you..." Claudia shrugged, giving Clarke one last half-smile before she walked away from her.

Clarke exhaled as she watched Claudia disappear in the crowd, before Octavia's voice startled her.

"Who was that?" the brunette asked.

"Shit, O... You scared me..." Clarke put her hand on her chest. "It was an old patient of mine."

"Really? Was it that hot one we operated on together? With the broken femur?" Octavia was curious.

"Who?" Clarke frowned.

"You remember... I think she was Brazilian or something like that..."

"Joana?" the blonde took a guess.

"Yes! That's it!" Octavia exclaimed. "Do you remember those long, tanned legs, Clarke?" she grinned.

"I had no idea you had a thing for her, O!" Clarke laughed. "I see you have a type, though..." she winked at her before she caught the bartender's attention and asked for another round of drinks.

* * *

While at the club, Clarke had sent a few photos and messages to Lexa and when she and Madi arrived at the apartment around 5 am, she was surprised to see that Lexa hadn't replied to any of them.

It was definitely strange, since she knew for a fact that Lexa was in L.A., they had even texted before they went to the club and the brunette had told her that she was going to stay home all day.

Clarke opened their chat on WhatsApp and confirmed once again that the ticks were blue, which meant that Lexa had seen the messages.

She was starting to get worried, so decided to try her luck again.

**Messages**

_Clarke (5:07 am):_  
"Hey, babe... Are you here?"

Lexa's status turned to online and the ticks changed to blue yet again.

_Lexa (5:07 am):_  
"Yes."

_Clarke (5:08 am):_  
"Hi 😊 You okay?"

_Lexa (5:08 am):_  
"Probably not as good as you."

_Clarke (5:08 am):_  
"What?"

_Lexa (5:08 am):_  
"Did you have fun at the club?"

_Clarke (5:08 am):_  
"Lexa? What's going on?"

_Lexa (5:09 am):_  
"You tell me."

Right after receiving the last message, Lexa sent her a screenshot of Octavia's story on Instagram, where she was hugging Juanmi and Raven and behind them, Clarke could see herself and Claudia standing at the bar and talking. The photo was made at the exact moment when Clarke's hand was under Claudia's chin, trying to comfort her after she had turned her down.

She realized that taken out of context, it could look really bad and she rushed to call Lexa before it turned into an even a bigger deal than it already seemed to have become.

Luckily, Lexa answered right away and once the video call was established, it became clear to Clarke that she had been crying.

**Video call:**

_Clarke:_  
"Hey, Lex... I know this is probably one of the most famous phrases in the world, but I swear to you that it's not what it looks like," Clarke started explaining.

_Lexa:_  
"It looks like you were holding some girl's face in your hands moments before or after a kiss," Lexa said calmly, raising her eyebrows.

_Clarke:_  
"No no... That's not what it was about," she replied.

_Lexa:_  
"What was it about then?" she asked with the same expression on her face.

_Clarke:_  
"It's complicated..." Clarke exhaled. "Claudia is my patient... _Was_... My patient."

_Lexa:_  
"And?"

_Clarke:_  
"Well, I hadn't seen her in months and then she approached me at the club as I was about to ask for another round... I was surprised she was there at all, I mean I knew she was gay, but she's practically a child..."

_Lexa:_  
"What do you mean a child?" Lexa interrupted her.

_Clarke:_  
"She just turned 18 this month and wanted to buy me a drink, which I refused..."

_Lexa:_  
"How did you know she was gay?" Lexa interrupted her again.

_Clarke:_  
"Because... Um... I knew from the moment I treated her in the emergency room, because she immediately tried to flirt with me..." Clarke confessed.

_Lexa:_  
"Uh huh..." Lexa commented. "So what did you do?"

_Clarke:_  
"Nothing!" Clarke nearly shrieked, slightly offended by Lexa's question. "Who do you take me for, Lex? She was my patient... And a minor! Plus, I was dating Eva at the time..."

_Lexa:_  
"Yeah, cause that really stopped you from being with me in Paris..." she said sarcastically.

_Clarke:_  
"Are you being serious right now, Lexa?" Clarke couldn't believe her ears. "Are you trying to hurt me? How could you say something like that?"

_Lexa:_  
"Well, it's true, isn't is?" Lexa raised her voice as well. "You were still with Eva when you met me... So who's to say you won't run off with someone else while you're with me?"

_Clarke:_  
"Oh my God..." Clarke's eyes were instantly filled with tears. "Is that what you think of me?" she asked in disbelief, seeing Lexa shrug at the question. "What are you still doing with me, then? Is this why don't want to make plans to see each other again? Because you... You don't trust me..." she wiped the tears off her face with the back of hand. "And you never will... No matter what I do or say, I'll never be able to fix it... I'll always be the one that fucked up..."

They looked at each other, tears streaming down their faces, unsure what to say next.

_Lexa:_  
"Did... Did you kiss her?" she asked and saw Clarke frown. "The girl at the club... Why were you holding her face?"

Clarke shook her head with a sad smile covering her face as she exhaled before speaking.

_Clarke:_  
"I was holding her face because I hurt her feelings when I told her I was in love with someone else... And before you ask, that someone is you, if I haven't made it clear enough over the last 6 months... And to answer your question... No, I didn't kiss her. She did try to steal a kiss from _me, _though, while I was in the middle of a sentence, but I pushed her away before she managed to come close enough... So, yeah... I felt bad for a 18-year old girl who got turned down by her crush and I tried to comfort her and let her know that it was not her fault... Just that my heart is already taken..." Clarke could see she had finally gotten through to Lexa, who was unable to control her tears, realizing how wrong she'd been. "And if you hadn't been ignoring my texts and if you had simply asked me about it like an adult, or better yet, if you had _trusted _me, instead of calling me a cheater, we wouldn't be here now... And all of this, knowing that the reason I don't speak to my father is exactly the thing you're accusing me of..."

_Lexa:_  
"Clarke..." Lexa barely spoke through her tears. "I'm... I'm so sorry..."

_Clarke:_  
"There's no point, Lexa..." Clarke shook her head.

_Lexa:_  
"What... What do... You mean?" she managed to say in between sobs.

_Clarke:_  
"You can't build a great house on a weak foundation, Lexa..." Clarke said quietly. "A relationship can't work without trust... I'm done feeling guilty... You obviously can't forgive me for not telling you the whole truth when we met in Paris... And I'm done trying to prove myself to you..."

_Lexa:_  
"Don't... Don't say... That..." Lexa was struggling to make a sentence. "Please, Clarke... Just... Just hear me out... Please..." she begged.

_Clarke:_  
"Go ahead..." Clarke wiped her face with her hand, leaving black traces of her mascara down her cheeks.

_Lexa:_  
"Okay..." she took a few deep breaths, trying to calm herself down before continuing. "I don't want you to blame yourself... Remember I told you about Zoey and how she cheated on me when we tried to have long distance relationship after I moved to L.A.?" she asked and Clarke nodded. "I thought I had gotten over it... But it turns out that when I found out about Eva, it all kinda came back to me... And I started feeling insecure... And jealous... And I had these bad dreams about you cheating on me..."

_Clarke:_  
"Why didn't you talk to me about it?"

_Lexa:_  
"I don't know... I suppose I didn't want to deal with it... So I avoided making plans with you... Or even calling you my girlfriend... Because I made a lot of plans with Zoey and none of them came through... I guess I was afraid that it would happen all over again..."

_Clarke:_  
"So that's why you told me to go to Australia when I told you I had two weeks off..." Clarke finally got the answers she needed. "Not because you didn't want me to come to L.A.?"

_Lexa:_  
"I almost asked you to come..." she admitted. "But... I chickened out..."

_Clarke:_  
"So what was the plan here, Lexa? Keeping me on the side, talking to me only when you have time and calling me for cyber sex when you're horny? And never seeing each other in person again?" Clarke was starting to feel frustrated.

_Lexa:_  
"No... Of course not... I guess I just needed time... I don't know..."

_Clarke:_  
"Well, I'm giving it to you, then..." Clarke said with determination. "Take all the time in the world, Lexa... I can't do this any more..."

_Lexa:_  
"What... What are you trying to say?" Lexa's heart was threatening to jump out of her chest. "Are you... Are you breaking up with me?"

_Clarke:_  
"How can I break up with you when we were never truly together? You were afraid to make it official, so... Guess what? Now you won't have to..."

_Lexa:_  
"You don't mean that..." Lexa was trying to convince herself that it was just the hurt and the anger talking. "We can fix this..."

_Clarke:_  
"I can't fix it for you, Lexa... I did my part, I even turned my whole life around for you... My career... Everything... Now it's your turn..."

_Lexa:_  
"What do you mean your career?" Lexa lowered her brow, feeling confused.

_Clarke:_  
"I was going to tell you tomorrow..." Clarke decided she was going to tell Lexa anyway, even though she wasn't sure it was going to make any difference at that point. "In September I applied for a transfer to a hospital in L.A., to do my last year of residency there... And yesterday they sent me an email to tell me I got accepted..."

_Lexa:_  
"Wha... what?" Lexa widened her eyes. "Clarke, that's amazing! Why didn't you tell me?" a genuine smile surfaced on Lexa's face.

_Clarke:_  
"I wanted it to be for sure first... And I didn't want to freak you out... Or for you to think of me as some kind of stalker or something..." she shrugged.

_Lexa:_  
"My God, no... I would never think that..." she said softly. "I'm so glad you got accepted... When do you start?"

_Clarke:_  
"In May... I'm glad too... It's going to be a great opportunity for me..." she said, seeing Lexa's smile disappear from her face.

_Lexa:_  
"Clarke... I... I'm really sorry... For all of it... I love you so much..."

_Clarke:_  
"I love you too, Lex... I just... I can't even think right now..." she exhaled.

_Lexa:_  
"Yes, it's late there... You should sleep..." Lexa said, remembering the time difference. "We can talk tomorrow..."

_Clarke:_  
"No..."

_Lexa:_  
"No?" she asked and saw Clarke's eyes tear up again.

_Clarke:_  
"Nothing is going to be different tomorrow... You're not going to miraculously start trusting me out of nowhere..." she said with a shaky voice. "I think we should..."

_Lexa:_  
"No, Clarke... don't say it, I'm begging you..." Lexa started crying.

_Clarke:_  
"I'm sorry, Lexa..." Clarke wiped her tears with her palm. "I don't want to be with you if you don't think I deserve all of your trust..."

_Lexa:_  
"It's not about that... Of course you deserve it, love... I just have to learn how to entrust you with it and let go completely... I know I can do it, I just need to work through my issues..." Lexa explained.

_Clarke:_  
"That's fair... I understand..." Clarke nodded. "I just don't think we should talk until you're ready to do that... We can't keep hurting each other, Lex... And the way you talked to me today... The things you said... It cut me pretty deep..."

_Lexa:_  
"I know... You have no idea how sorry I am... Please forgive me," Lexa tilted her head down.

_Clarke:_  
"I already have, love..." she smiled gently. "I hope you'll figure it out..."

_Lexa:_  
"Will you wait for me?" Lexa whispered through her tears.

_Clarke:_  
"You have my heart, Lexa... What choice do I have?" her lips curled into a soft smile, seeing a trace of hope in Lexa's eyes. "Just take good care of it, yeah?"

_Lexa:_  
"I will..." she smiled through her tears. "Clarke... Just... Could I ask you for a favour?"

_Clarke:_  
"Of course..."

_Lexa:_  
"I don't know how much time it will take for me to be able to give you what you truly deserve... But... In the meantime, if you ever start feeling like giving up on me... Just think of us in Paris... The first time we laid eyes on each other... The way my skin reacted to your touch when you put your hand around my waist... How we needed to feel each other's lips more than oxygen... And how our bodies fitted like a puzzle... I knew right away you were special and I'm going to fight for you, Clarke... Just promise me, no matter what, _we'll always have Paris _to go to when we need to remind ourselves how beautiful and rare is what we found there... And maybe... just maybe... We won't let go..."

Clarke couldn't stop the waterfalls from her eyes as she absorbed every word that came out of Lexa's mouth, that beautiful mouth she was going to miss immensely. She knew it was going to kill her not being able to hear her voice any more, but she also knew that it had to be done.

She swallowed her tears and wiped her face with her hand before she answered.

_Clarke:_  
"We'll always have Paris... I promise."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're not too mad at me, I'd like to hear your thoughts, as always 😊  
1\. What did you think of Clarke's newfound philosophy on life?  
2\. Did you like the chemistry between Ricky and Madi?  
3\. Does anyone remember Claudia? Do you know in which chapter she was first introduced?  
4\. Aaaand... any thoughts on the break up? 😞


	37. Mending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One month after the break up.

After finishing the video call on Saturday evening, Lexa spent the next 4 hours crying her eyes out over the break up, fighting the urge to call Clarke back and beg her to reconsider. The only thing stopping her was the fact that she knew Clarke was right and unfortunately, they both needed to work on their issues separately before they could even think about giving their relationship another try. It was clear as a day, but that didn't make it easier for any of them, as the blonde was pretty much a wreck herself.

It was a little after 1 am when Lexa dialled her mother.

**Phone call:**

_Becca:_  
"Lexa, honey... Is everything alright?" she was surprised to hear from her daughter at such late hour, especially because they had already talked earlier that day when Lexa had arrived to L.A.

_Lexa:_  
"Hi, mum..." she said quietly. "I just... I wanted to talk... Are you busy?"

_Becca:_  
"I'm never busy for you, honey... Especially not on a Sunday evening..." she said, her voice sounding very soft. "You father and I just had dinner... What's the matter, honey?"

_Lexa:_  
"Oh, I can call later if you'd like... I know you usually have a glass of wine on the patio after dinner..."

_Becca:_  
"No, no..." Becca was quick to reply. "He's doing the dishes anyway... Lexie... what's going on?" she sounded worried, seeing that Lexa was reluctant to start talking.

_Lexa:_  
"I..." her voice cracked. "I messed everything up, mum..."

_Becca:_  
"Honey... Whatever it is, I'm sure it can be fixed..."

_Lexa:_  
"It's..." Lexa sniffled. "It's Clarke... I hurt her... and she doesn't want to talk to me any more..."

_Becca:_  
"Oh, love... it's just your first fight..." Becca tried to comfort her daughter. "Maybe she just needs some time to cool off."

_Lexa:_  
"No, mum... She... broke things off... and I get it... I can't give her what she needs... and deserves..." Lexa spoke through tears.

_Becca:_  
"What are you talking about, Lexa? You are a wonderful human being and you have a lot to offer!"

_Lexa:_  
"I'm broken, mum..." she cried. "I was mean to her... and I... I called... I called her a cheater... and I knew it was going to hurt her... it's the worst thing I could've said to her... and I did it anyway..."

_Becca:_  
"But... what happened? Did she...?"

_Lexa:_  
"No, no... she didn't do anything wrong..." Lexa interrupted her mother. "I got jealous because I saw a photo of her on her friend's Instagram story... and she was talking to a girl... and their faces were really close together... so I assumed..."

_Becca:_  
"Oh, Lexie... Did you ask her about it? What did she say?"

_Lexa:_  
"I did... eventually... and she started explaining, saying she would never do anything like that... but just the thought of Clarke being with someone else made me furious... so I kind of... reminded her that she... already did it once... when she met me..." she said remorsefully.

_Becca:_  
"Oh... I see..." Becca was starting to understand the course of events. "So she probably realized that you don't really trust her..." she concluded.

_Lexa:_  
"Yes..." Lexa confirmed.

_Becca:_  
"Well... do you? Trust her?" she asked.

_Lexa:_  
"I... I really want to..." she answered honestly.

_Becca:_  
"Honey... you either do or you don't..." she said calmly. "Has she done anything to make you doubt her love for you?"

_Lexa:_  
"No... I mean... I was mad at her for not telling me about her ex when we first met..."

_Becca:_  
"Right... But you chose to forgive her and put that behind you, yeah? So... If you have done that, then do you think it's fair to throw it in her face every time you have a disagreement?"

_Lexa:_  
"It's not... I know it was wrong of me to do that..."

_Becca:_  
"You know that the mistakes we've made in our past don't define us, right? Or do you think I'm capable of cheating on your father because of how we met?"

_Lexa:_  
"No, of course not... I just... I don't know how to do it... I don't know how people do it..."

_Becca:_  
"What, exactly?"

_Lexa:_  
"Trust completely... Like, I know that Clarke loves me and she says she doesn't want to be with anyone else but me... But that's today, you know what I mean? How do I know she's not going to wake up tomorrow and feel differently? Or that she's not going to meet someone else and decides to leave me?"

_Becca:_  
"You don't," Becca answered calmly. "You can't know that... There's no guarantee in love, honey... All you can do is take good care of the love you feel for each other... With absolute trust... And if you feel like you can't do that... Then maybe she's not the right one for you..."

_Lexa:_  
"But she is!" she exclaimed. "She is the one, mum... I know it..."

_Becca:_  
"Awwww, Lexie!" Becca was touched by her daughter's words. "I'm so glad you've found each other..."

_Lexa:_  
"I don't want to lose her, mum..." Lexa's eyes teared up again.

_Becca:_  
"You won't, honey..." Becca smiled. "You both made mistakes, but I'm sure you'll figure it out... And long distance relationships have its toll... But once you patch things up, you'll be able to start planning your future together..."

_Lexa:_  
"She's moving to L.A., actually... She told me yesterday... She got accepted to a residency program in a hospital in L.A... to do her final year, starting in May..."

_Becca:_  
"That's great!" her smile widened, hearing the happiness in Lexa's voice.

_Lexa:_  
"It is, yes... Mum..." she bit her lip nervously. "What should I do?"

_Becca:_  
"You'll know what to do when you're ready, love... It'll come to you."

_Lexa:_  
"I hope so..." Lexa sighed.

_Becca:_  
"Try to get some sleep now," Becca suggested. "You'll feel better tomorrow, you'll see..."

_Lexa:_  
"Thanks, mum... For everything... Goodnight."

_Becca:_  
"Of course, honey... I love you. Sleep well."

_Lexa:_  
"I love you too."

Talking to her mother gave Lexa the little peace she needed to at least try to rest her eyes. She grabbed her iPod and lay down on the bed with the earphones in, listening to Clarke's songs as she slowly drifted away.

* * *

December was over in a blink of an eye and Clarke had already started the two -month rotation at the Pediatrics Orthopaedic Surgery and Traumatology department at the University Hospital "La Paz" in Madrid. She had rented a room in an apartment she shared with two other young doctors she had met on the Traumatology residents' forum months ago when she was looking for a place to stay.

The whole situation with Lexa had been very difficult for Clarke to accept and process, especially the week following the break up when she had no choice but to tell her friends about what had happened, having to relive it all once again.

Madi had pretty much heard the whole conversation between Clarke and Lexa, so she was actually the one who stayed up with the blonde until 9 am on that Sunday morning, which was when Clarke had finally managed to calm down and close her puffy eyes to get some rest.

After informing her friends about the new developments, she asked them to avoid mentioning Lexa to her and she had also deleted her social media apps from her phone. She didn't want to unfollow Lexa's profile and she didn't want to erase all the communication between them from the last six months, but she knew that if she had access to it, it would just be a sad reminder that Lexa was out there, living her life and Clarke was no longer part of it.

So instead, she didn't delete her accounts, but she just removed the apps from her phone trying to avoid seeing any kind of information regarding Lexa or her career. She only kept WhatsApp, because it was how she talked to mostly everyone in her life, including her family and colleagues.

The days leading to her departure to Madrid were the hardest and she felt bad also for Madi, who had come to Spain all the way from Australia to spend time with her sister who really only wanted to stay home and cry. Clarke tried to put on a brave face, even went out shopping with her, which was something the blonde absolutely hated, but did it anyway to please her. Madi could see the pain her sister was in and decided not to push her too much, so she went out with Ricky pretty much every day, giving Clarke the space she knew she needed.

A few days before New Year's Eve, Clarke, Madi, Raven, Octavia and Ricky went to Madrid and stayed in a hotel, whereas Juanmi and Luna weren't able to join them because of work, so they had agreed to take care of Octavia's dog Maki.

On the 1st of January the four of them went back to Marbella and Clarke moved in the room she had rented for the next two months in Madrid.

Ricky took Madi to the airport the following day and they had a long and emotional goodbye after the amazing two weeks they had spent together. They promised they would stay in touch and were already making plans to see each other again.

Clarke couldn't remember if she had ever seen her sister so excited about someone and she was especially glad that _that _someone happened to be Ricky, whom she was very fond of.

Madi had told her that he had been a true gentlemen, showing great interest in her and treating her with a lot of respect. So much, that the first couple of times they had gone out, they had only kissed at the end of the night, and by the third date it was actually Madi who had initiated the steamy make out session that had eventually lead to what she described as the most mind-blowing, earth-shattering sex she had ever had.

* * *

In the afternoon on the last Friday of January, Clarke was enjoying her almond mocha frappuccino at the _Starbucks _near the hospital while reading a copy of the novel '_Tell it to the bees'_, avoiding going home and having to decline yet another invitation to a night out in the city.

Her roommates had been trying to get her to go out with them on the weekends, and knowing that Clarke was openly gay, they had even offered to go to _Chueca_, which was Madrid's gay neighbourhood, famous for being very lively, with many street cafes, boutique shops and rich nightlife.

Clarke appreciated them being so friendly and considerate, but she was definitely not in the mood for partying and was actually glad she was not in Marbella, because she knew Raven and Octavia would be doing the exact same thing and she wouldn't have been able to avoid them as easily as she did her roommates.

However, she had started running out of excuses, so for the last two Fridays, she had been having lunch in a restaurant near the hospital and instead of going home afterwards, she had been reading her book in _Starbucks_, feeling cosy and protected from the cold weather. Usually she stayed until closing time, so by the time she got home, around 10:30 pm, her roommates had already gone out.

The book definitely helped killing time, in fact she was so captivated by the story that she didn't even notice that someone had been quietly observing her for the last fifteen minutes.

"It's a great book, isn't it?" A soft, female voice startled her.

Clarke looked to her right, following the sound of the unknown voice and saw a smiling young woman with long, light brown hair and big green eyes. She was sitting on the sofa chair behind the empty one that was next to the coffee table with Clarke's coffee on it, timidly looking at the blonde as she was waiting for her to react.

"Indeed," Clarke smiled back and was about to continue reading when she heard the woman speak again.

"Have you seen the film yet?" she asked.

"Oh... No... I wanted to read the book first," Clarke answered. "Is it good?"

"I haven't seen it either," she said, happy to see that the blonde was participating in the conversation. "I just finished reading the book last week, actually..."

"The books are always better anyway," Clarke shrugged.

"I agree," the girl's smile widened, showing her perfect, white teeth. "I'm Isabel, by the way," she introduced herself with an awkwardly cute wave.

"Clarke," the blonde did the same.

"Clarke?" she repeated the name with a strong Spanish pronunciation.

"Yes," Clarke smiled, already accustomed to the same reaction when meeting someone new in Spain.

"I've never met a girl named Clarke before... Definitely not Spanish," she continued.

"I'm Australian," Clarke said.

"Wow... You're quite far from home," she was surprised. "Your Spanish is excellent, by the way... I actually thought you were from Cádiz or somewhere around there..."

"I might have caught some of the Andalusian dialect," Clarke laughed. "I live in Marbella," she explained.

"Close!" Isabel laughed as well. "Well, you've picked a very cold month to come to Madrid..."

"It's fine... I actually miss the cold," she said nostalgically, thinking about the snowy winters in Slovenia during her college years.

"But Australia isn't much colder than Andalusia, is it?" Isabel was curious.

"Oh, no, I was referring to Slovenia..." Clarke explained. "I lived there for a while before I moved here."

"Wow... You're a world traveller," Isabel was impressed. "Could I maybe... join you... on that empty sofa chair?" she asked timidly. "Actually, forget I asked... You were reading your book and here I am, talking your ears off when you probably want to be left alone..." she started talking fast when she saw that Clarke was taking her time to give her an answer.

Clarke actually thought it was very sweet and found that she wouldn't mind talking with the girl in the slightest.

"Not at all," she interrupted Isabel's rambling, leaving the book on the coffee table and invited her over, gesturing with her hand.

"Yeah?" Isabel's full lips curled into a big smile as she saw the blonde nod at her, so she picked up her drink and sat on the empty sofa chair next to Clarke. "Wow, your eyes are even bluer from up close..." she said and blushed the moment she realized she had said it out loud.

Clarke noticed Isabel's flushed cheeks and smiled before changing the subject.

"Are you local?" she asked.

"Yes... Born and raised," she smiled, grateful for Clarke's question. "What are you doing in Madrid?"

"Working... I have to complete two months of rotation," Clarke answered.

"What do you do?"

"I'm a doctor... What about you?"

"Nice! What kind of doctor?" she continued with the questions.

"I specialize in Orthopaedic Surgery and Traumatology..."

"Wait a minute..." Isabel had a pensive look on her face. "Australian doctor... Do you work in the Hospital Costa del Sol in Marbella?"

"Um.. yes... Why?" Clarke was intrigued.

"I'm almost 100% sure that you were my grandmother's surgeon last summer!" she said excitedly.

"Yeah? What's her name?"

"María Isabel Gallardo Martínez... But she probably insisted that you call her Maribel," she replied.

"Yes! Of course I remember her," Clarke grinned. "She broke her wrist in two places... It was somewhere around June, right?"

"That's her!" Isabel laughed.

"How could I forget... I had never seen anyone like her before... She had this... Presence... Pure elegance and grace... And she was tall and so nice..." Clarke smiled gently. "She didn't complain at all! It must've hurt like hell, but she refused to show it... She said she had given birth three times and if she hadn't complained then, she sure as hell wasn't going to start now over some cracked bones," Clarke remembered and they both laughed.

"That's my grandma," Isabel said, laughing. "She was so fascinated by you... I remember her calling me and she just wouldn't shut up about her Australian doctor..."

"Aww... I was very fond of her too," Clarke was touched.

"The first time she told me about you she said that she had just met my future wife," Isabel confessed.

"So that's why she wanted to know about my love life," Clarke laughed.

"Yeah... Sorry about that," Isabel chuckled. "The next time she called, though, she told me she had seen you with some other doctor and that she had asked you about her... And you were taken..."

"I remember, yes..." Clarke smiled. "But I didn't mind, really... She did it so elegantly that we ended up talking about love and relationships... She gave me some great advice, too..."

"Oh, I'm sure she did... She is an amazing woman... ahead of her time... Her parents didn't want her to become an actress, because back in the days it wasn't an admired profession as it is now..." Isabel explained. "But she did it anyway... And her films are now part of the Spanish classics."

"So brave... I saw them all, actually..." Clarke admitted. "I had seen one as a child, but I found the rest of them when she told me who she was... You have her eyes, by the way..."

"Yeah..." Isabel smiled softly. "I also inherited her passion for acting..."

"So _you're _the granddaughter who followed in her footsteps!"

"Of course she told you about me," Isabel laughed.

"She did... She said she was really proud of you," Clarke smiled. "Have I seen you in anything?"

"I've done some smaller projects so far, but you will probably see me this year if you like going to the cinema... I just got back from shooting a film in London and it's a big production... That's why I didn't go to our vacation house in Marbella over the summer..."

"Wow! That sounds amazing!" Clarke said excitedly. "I'm glad you're following your dreams and succeeding at it..."

"Thank you... I'm very excited about it..." she said before she bit her lower lip nervously, reluctant to ask Clarke something that had been on her mind ever since she found out she was her grandmother's doctor. "Clarke, I... Well... My grandmother would kill me if I didn't ask... Um... I'm sure she would love to see you again... And you're here now... So, would you maybe... Have lunch with us... Sometime?"

"I'd like that, actually..." Clarke replied without hesitation.

"Yeah?" Isabel widened her eyes. "She will be thrilled!" she exclaimed. "Would you mind taking a selfie with me? I want to send it to her..."

"Sure," Clarke agreed and moved closer to Isabel, leaning her head as the latter extended her arm, holding the phone and took the photo.

"Awesome, thank you!" she said as she started typing with a huge smile on her face. "I wrote 'Look who I found' and I bet she'll be calling me in less than 2 minutes... Look, she's online," she showed Clarke the chat on WhatsApp.

"Wow, I wish my grandma was so technologically advanced," Clarke stated.

"Yeah, the woman is 84 years old and she's even on Instagram, sending me memes and everything," they both laughed and just a few moments later they answered the incoming video call from Isabel's grandmother.

They talked for about five minutes and made plans to have lunch at María Isabel's place on Sunday and for the first time in the last month and a half Clarke actually felt excited about something outside of work.

She had even managed not to think about Lexa for longer than ten minutes, which was a big success, considering she hadn't been able to get the brunette out of her mind at all. No matter what she did, no matter where she was, Lexa was constantly there and Clarke's head was flooded with memories of her voice, the smell of her skin, her silly jokes or the way she always moaned at the first bite of the breakfast the blonde prepared for her almost every day during their vacation in Spain. It even got to the point where Clarke would often freeze in the middle of the street, thinking she had recognized her in the crowd and sometimes she could even smell her perfume lying in bed at night. She knew that her mind was playing tricks on her and that Lexa was nowhere near Madrid and she definitely hadn't been in her bed in the new apartment.

Clarke had even stopped sleeping with the shirt that Lexa wore the last day they spent together in Marbella because she knew it would make things even harder and eventually drive her crazy.

So she welcomed the things that took away even the slightest piece of the constant pain in her chest and meeting María Isabel and her granddaughter on Sunday just seemed like the perfect distraction.

* * *

Meanwhile in Marbella, Raven was pacing nervously in front of the restaurant her girlfriend had chosen for them to have lunch with her parents.

Over the Christmas holidays, Octavia had taken a few days off work to visit her home town and spend time with her family. After talking to Juanmi and her friends, she made the decision to come out to her parents and to tell them about Raven as well.

She did exactly that at their traditional dinner on Christmas Eve and contrary to what she had been expecting, they both stood up almost simultaneously, not to leave the table, but to actually give their only daughter a big, long hug.

It turned out they had had their suspicions ever since Octavia was a little girl and according to her father, he knew for sure when she was about 12 years old and had developed a huge crush on Jessica Alba after seeing '_Honey'_.

Her mother also confessed that she had noticed the happiness in Octavia's voice every time they would talk in the last five months and when she learned that Raven was responsible for it, she said that their relationship was in fact a blessing and in no way a sin.

Even though they were deeply religious, they didn't think of homosexuality as something impure or unnatural, in fact, they were convinced that God made no mistake, creating people in His image and that He loved all of his children equally.

Raven was relieved when Octavia called her that night to tell her that not only her parents had accepted their relationship, but they also wanted to meet her some day soon.

And that day had finally come about a month later, when Octavia's parents drove to Marbella for the weekend to finally meet the woman who made their daughter so happy.

Raven could feel her heart in her throat as she was standing in front of the entrance of the restaurant, watching the three of them walk towards her.

Octavia's grin was becoming bigger with each step she took and once she was in front of Raven, she threw herself in her arms and placed a soft kiss on her cheek, making the Latina blush.

"Mum, dad... I'd like you to meet Raven," she said as soon as she moved away from her girlfriend, turning to her parents.

"Nice to meet you, Mis..."

"No no, none of that Mr. and Mrs.," Octavia's father interrupted Raven, moving closer to her. "I am Álvaro and this is my wife Carmen," he said as he put his hands on Raven's shoulders and gave her a kiss on each cheek.

Raven was pleasantly surprised by the warm introduction, especially when Octavia's mother did the same and then cupped the Latina's cheeks with her hands before she spoke.

"You are even more beautiful in person than in the photos Octavia showed us," she smiled at her.

"Th... thank you," Raven's cheeks were burning.

"She actually reminds me of that actress that Octavia was in love with in 6th grade," Álvaro added. "What was her name again?"

"Dad!" Octavia protested.

"Oh.. wasn't it Jennifer... Something?" Carmen tried to remember.

"Who?" Raven turned her head to Octavia, amused by the whole situation.

"Can we please go inside?" Octavia tried to change the subject.

"No, the name started with a "J", but it's not Jennifer..." Álvaro continued. "She was a dancer in the film and wanted to save the dancing school for the children in her neighbourhood or something like that..."

"Jessica Alba?" Raven grinned.

"Yes! That's it!" Álvaro exclaimed.

"Aargh!" Octavia sighed, frustrated and slightly embarrassed.

"You never told me you had a crush on Jessica Alba," Raven said to Octavia, entertained by the new information.

"Oh, yes, she had a huge poster of her in her bedroom and she has probably seen that film about a hundred times," Carmen was happy to reveal the details.

"Can we please go inside?" Octavia was desperately trying to move the focus away from her adolescent years.

"Sure," Raven smiled at her girlfriend, who was already walking through the door of the restaurant, feeling relieved. "But I would definitely like to hear more about this," she winked at Octavia's parents as she held the door for them.

"Oh, I already love this girl," Álvaro smiled to his wife as they entered the restaurant.

The lunch went better than Raven could've ever expected and she invited them to have a cup of coffee in her apartment afterwards, which they gladly accepted.

Octavia pouted every time her parents told an embarrassing story from her childhood, but in fact she loved that they seemed to have taken to her girlfriend so quickly and that Raven was very relaxed around them, laughing and enjoying their company.

They said their goodbyes in the evening, leaving Raven at home and went to Octavia's apartment to get some rest.

Ever since Clarke moved to Madrid, Octavia had been practically living at Raven's apartment, but she had decided to keep hers until she would have to move to Madrid herself in March.

After talking to Raven about it, they agreed that once Octavia would come back from two-month rotation in the capital, they would move in together officially, which was something they were both very excited about.

Octavia's parents were already asleep in her bedroom when she threw herself on the sofa bed and grabbed her phone.

She took a selfie and sent it to Raven.

**Messages**

_Octavia (11:37 pm):_  
"Remember this sofa bed? 😏"

_Raven (11:37 pm):_  
"Hmmm 🤔 It doesn't ring a bell..."

_Octavia (11:38 pm):_  
"Would this help to refresh your memory? 👉🏼👌🏼💦"

_Raven (11:38 pm):_  
"😂😂😂 You're crazy!"

_Octavia (11:38 pm):_  
"Crazy about you 😍 Although I'm pretty sure my parents have fallen head over heels for you too!"

_Raven (11:39 pm):_  
"They are the best! ❤️ I think there should be a statue of them, honouring them as the greatest Spanish artists..."

_Octavia (11:39 pm):_  
"Huh? Are you drunk? 😂 My parents are not artists."

_Raven (11:39 pm):_  
"Of course they are... They made YOU 😎😁"

_Octavia (11:40 pm):_  
"🤦🏻♀️ I can't believe I fell right into it! 😂 That was so cheesy, Reyes!"

_Raven (11:40 pm):_  
"But you love me anyway 😜😘"

_Octavia (11:40 pm):_  
"I do... 😊 I love you so much, Ray ❤️"

_Raven (11:41 pm):_  
"I love you too ❤️ Sleep well, baby 😘"

_Octavia (11:41 pm):_  
"You too 🤗 See you tomorrow 😘"

She put her phone on the coffee table and stroke Maki's head before she drifted away, feeling absolutely content with her life, knowing that the woman she loved with all of her heart loved her back and her parents couldn't have been more thrilled about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are, life goes on... let's see how our favourite girls deal with the break up and if they will be able to mend the broken pieces of their hearts like Kintsugi (a Japanese art of repairing broken pottery by mending the areas of breakage with lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum).
> 
> I'd like to read your thoughts on the subject, as always... Also, did you like the new character Isabel?  
Do you think there's any possibility that Clarke might get involved with her?  
What did you think of Octavia's parents? Were you surprised at their reaction?
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> S.


	38. The missing part

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 🔥🔥🔥

Long brown hair, spread all over Clarke's stomach, soft lips leaving kisses in the direction of her mons pubis, a skilled tongue plunging into her wet folds as she grabbed the brown curls and pulled her even closer.

"Mmm fuck, yeah..." Clarke moaned as she arched her back, spreading her legs wide open, eager to receive the sweet intrusion.

Two long fingers were soon buried inside her wetness, giving her the pleasure she had been deprived of for so long, driving her to the point of insanity and now she finally felt complete and ready to come undone.

Clarke tried hard not to scream as the intense orgasm took over her body, shaking and twitching at the end of it, her fingers clenching in the chestnut hair until she was ready to come back down to earth.

She opened her eyes, slowly regaining the rest of her senses and saw the same fingers that only seconds ago were deep inside her, covered in her wetness, being brought to the full lips she desperately needed to feel on hers. They parted to receive the slick fingers that she saw disappear inside the brunette's mouth, breathing heavy as she watched her lick them clean without taking her green eyes off of her.

"You taste so good... mmm..." she said as soon as she took her fingers out of her mouth.

"Yeah?" Clarke was still hypnotized by the perfect view in front of her.

"Uh huh," the brunette said, smirking. "Here, see for yourself..." she climbed on top of Clarke and pressed her plump lips on hers.

Clarke opened her mouth, welcoming the brunette's warm tongue and moaned when she felt her own taste. The kiss was slow, but lustful, as if they wanted to devour each other and wouldn't even care if they sucked the air out of their lungs in the process.

They slowed down after a while, finally interrupting the make out session and trying to catch their breath as Clarke cupped the brunette's sweaty cheeks with her hands and found her big eyes staring at her with the green in them almost completely eclipsed by the arousal.

"I missed you so much, Lex ..." she whispered and saw the brunette close her eyes as she leaned her head into Clarke's palm.

"I'm right here, love..." she looked at her again, this time with nothing but pure love written all over her face. "I'll always be with you..."

She was about to pull her into another kiss when she heard something vibrating near her head repeatedly and suddenly the warmth of Lexa's naked body on top of her vanished as she opened her eyes, realizing it had been just a dream.

Again.

The days Clarke dreamed about Lexa were the worst and always lead to an increase in the level of her usual sadness, plus the added moodiness after waking up to a reality that didn't have Lexa in it.

Still, she needed to convince herself of it, so she turned her head to the side and touched the empty side of the bed to make sure, because maybe it would still be warm and Lexa had actually slept there.

Maybe she was about to enter the room and bring her breakfast in bed.

Maybe they never broke up.

Maybe it was just a nightmare.

Or maybe they did, but Lexa came back to her and they spent the whole night adoring each other, making up for lost time.

Or maybe...

The hope vaporized the moment her hand touched the cold sheets, feeling stupid for doing that to herself, foolishly getting her hopes up only to hit the ground hard each time.

Clarke shut her eyes tightly and exhaled, trying not to start the day with tears and felt grateful when the phone vibrated yet again.

She grabbed it from the bedside table and saw that she had 4 unread messages from Raven.

**Messages**

_Raven (8:35 am):_  
"Clarke, I'm freaking out... Do you think she'll like it?"

_Raven (8:35 am):_  
"What if she laughs? Maybe it's stupid..."

_Raven (8:36 am):_  
"I don't know if I should do it... I mean, she doesn't even like Beyoncé, right?"

_Raven (8:37 am):_  
"Dude! She'll be home any minute now... Wake up! I need your help!"

There was no way Clarke could stay mad at Raven for waking her up, especially after reading her messages that even managed to make her laugh.

_Clarke (8:37 am):_  
"Ray... just breathe 😁 She's going to love it! And the song is perfect, trust me."

_Raven (8:38 am):_  
"I hope you're right! God... I feel stupid!"

_Clarke (8:38 am):_  
"Who are you and what have you done to Raven?"

_Raven (8:38 am):_  
"Ha ha very funny 😒"

_Clarke (8:38 am):_  
"Seriously, though... You are the most confident person I know. And don't get me started on your body... it's a freaking piece of art. Plus you have the rhythm in your bones... you're fucking sexy!"

_Raven (8:39 am):_  
"Stop hitting on me, jeez... I have a girlfriend 😝"

_Clarke (8:39 am):_  
"There's my Ray Ray 😀 You'll make her squirt before the song is even over 😉"

_Raven (8:39 am):_  
"I'm totally telling her you said that 😂 After I make her squirt, of course 😏"

_Clarke (8:40 am):_  
"🤭 Go get her!"

_Raven (8:40 am):_  
"Thank you, Clarkie 😊❤️"

_Clarke (8:40 am):_  
"Anytime, Ray ❤️"

Clarke left the phone on the bedside table and sat up, touching the cold floor with her feet. As she stood up she couldn't help but notice that her panties were soaked and wondered if her period had come early since she didn't remember seeing a notification from the calendar app in the previous days. She grabbed a towel and went to the bathroom where she took off her clothes and realized it was actually the result of her wet dream and definitely not blood.

And the worst part of it was that it all came back to her in that exact moment, remembering every detail, every touch, the smell of Lexa's skin, her warmth, her lips, her fingers inside of her and the arousal spread throughout her body yet again, knowing she had no choice but to release the tension.

Once in the shower, she leaned with her hand on the cold tiles as she started touching herself with the other one, feeling the stream of hot water down her spine. Her fingers pinched her erect nipple, before she grabbed her breast, imagining it was actually Lexa's hand doing that, which was not hard to do at all, since it was the brunette's favourite activity and her hands were pretty much glued to Clarke's breasts whenever they were in bed.

The next image in her head was Lexa in her 'bossy commander' state, riding her face and not letting Clarke touch her or do anything else except what she was allowed to do with her tongue.

By the time she recalled the last memory of Lexa, her hand was already between her legs, rubbing her bulged clitoris as she pictured the brunette on all fours in her sexy lingerie and Clarke was behind her, on her knees, giving her pleasure with the strap on.

Just a few seconds before she reached her orgasm, she brought back the memory of when she grabbed the leather belt around the brunette's waist and started moving faster and deeper inside of her until Lexa finally turned her head around and looked at the blonde over her shoulder, biting her lower lip. Remembering the pleasure on Lexa's face was the last push Clarke needed to moan her release and felt grateful for the noise from the shower, since she was not alone in the apartment and already felt pathetic enough for masturbating to the memory of Lexa, so she didn't want to add any more embarrassment to it by being heard by her roommates.

She wondered if Lexa might be doing the same and then she recalled the time when the brunette told her she had been collecting the memories of their hot moments in her 'spank bank' and it made her laugh, suddenly feeling a little less stupid, although remembering silly things like that made her miss Lexa even more.

* * *

Raven was sure she had never been as nervous as she was the moment she heard her girlfriend unlock the apartment's door.

Octavia turned the key carefully, thinking Raven might still be asleep and was surprised to see that it wasn't the case when she entered the living room.

The blinds were pulled down, making the space almost completely dark, except for the strategically placed lit candles, giving it a romantic touch.

"Babe?" she shouted, eager to see what her girlfriend had prepared for her.

"Sit down on the couch!" she heard Raven's voice coming from the bedroom. "I'll be right out!"

Octavia left her bag on the dining table on her way to the couch and sat down, noticing the coffee table pushed all the way to the balcony door and on its usual place there was a chair instead, placed directly in front of the couch.

"I'm sitting!" she shouted excitedly.

Few moments later, she saw Raven's silhouette loom up from the hallway, extending her arm in the direction of the sound system.

Suddenly a soft, slow rhythm spread through the room and Octavia's jaw drooped when Raven started walking in her high heels towards the chair, dressed in a thigh-length leather trench coat and high stockings.

When she stood in front of her, she stripped off her coat, revealing a satin dress over black panties and thigh-high sheers held up by garters.

The song slowly started and Octavia could recognize it as Beyoncé's 'Dance for you', realizing immediately the treat she was in for.

With winged eyeliner and wavy hair, Raven smiled seductively at her girlfriend before she sat on the chair and started playing with her long hair, her back facing Octavia.

The latter leaned forward while watching Raven, who was moving sensually on the chair and flipped her hair before she started dancing around the chair, exposing her vintage-style underwear.

Octavia's breathing was becoming heavier as Raven's hips moved sensually to the rhythm of the music, feeling the arousal accumulate in her lower abdomen.

After several minutes of teasing, Raven approached Octavia, who was now smiling as the Latina started rubbing against her.

She was desperate to rip the Latina's clothes off and take her right there on the couch, but at the same time she was enjoying the show very much and didn't want it to be over just yet.

As the song was coming to an end, Raven climbed on top of her, straddling her and Octavia couldn't help but grab her ass, eliciting a soft moan from the Latina.

"Mmm... You liked it, then?" she teased, seeing the lust in Octavia's eyes.

"Liked it?" Octavia raised her eyebrows. "I'm pretty sure I just had like three mini orgasms..."

Raven laughed before she leaned and gave her girlfriend a soft peck on the lips.

"Did you squirt, though?" she asked playfully.

"I might have..." Octavia played along. "I'm soaking wet..."

"Good... 'Cause I'm very thirsty... From all that dancing and all..." Raven winked at her.

Their lips mashed lustfully as Raven's hips increased the pace of the grinding, enjoying the way Octavia's moans were disappearing inside her mouth.

She pulled away only to find Octavia's neck, licking and biting it softly as she took off her girlfriend's top over her head.

Octavia quickly did the same with Raven's dress and tossed it on the ground, revealing her naked breasts, the cold air brushing her nipples and making them hard. She took one of them in her mouth and felt Raven's hands behind her neck, holding onto her as she tilted her head backwards, enjoying the way Octavia's tongue felt on her skin.

Their lips met again in a passionate kiss and Octavia lifted Raven's body and laid her on the couch.

Raven was on her back and she spread her legs, making space for her girlfriend to lie on top of her.

"Take off your pants," she said after a few minutes of rubbing against each other, desperate to feel Octavia's skin on hers.

Octavia quickly stood up and slid the pants down her legs, eager to return to her girlfriend.

"Wait..." Raven stopped her as she was about to lie on top of her again. "Pick up the box from the ground... next to the couch... There, to your right..." she tilted her head in the direction of the object.

Octavia was intrigued and excited, so she hastily grabbed the box from the ground and opened it, finding a pair of handcuffs, a strap on and a tube of lubricant in it.

She then saw Raven turn around, with her knees on the couch, her head on the armrest and her ass up in the air, putting her hands behind her back.

"I want you to take me from behind," she smiled seductively at Octavia, looking at her over the shoulder. "With the handcuffs on..." she added and saw her girlfriend's eyes fill up with lust.

In a blink of an eye, Octavia had strapped the dildo around her hips and hurried to put the metal handcuffs around Raven's wrists.

After completing the task, she placed her hands on Raven's hips and pulled her underwear down, under the garters, leaving it in the middle of her thighs.

She licked her lips, spreading Raven's buttocks apart and gazed at her wetness, anxious to feel it in her mouth.

Raven moaned when she felt Octavia's tongue inside her pussy, penetrating her deeper with each thrust until she was ready to move up, starting with slow circles around her anus before she buried her tongue inside.

The loud moans spread throughout the room, making Octavia's body burn with desire as she inserted one finger inside her girlfriend's vagina. It didn't take long before she replaced the finger with the dildo, pushing it deep and fast while latching onto Raven's cuffed wrists.

In the last six months, Octavia had learned that she often enjoyed rough sex and was thrilled to see that Raven also liked it very much and didn't mind being on the receiving end at all.

It wasn't the first time they were using sex toys, but this time Octavia thought it might be the perfect opportunity to try something she had been thinking about for a while.

She knew Raven was pretty close to reaching the first orgasm of the day, so she stopped the movements of her hips and slowly removed the dildo from her sex.

"Something wrong?" Raven asked, turning her head around and gasping.

"Not at all..." Octavia smiled softly. "I just... want to try something," she said with a smirk on her face. "Will you let me?"

"Do whatever you want with my body, just make me cum, please... I'm so close, baby..." Raven said, almost begging.

"Don't move," Octavia said before she took the lube out of the box and poured some of it in the palm of her hand.

She started rubbing the dildo with her hand, making sure it was covered in it from tip to shaft before she spread the remaining lube on her fingers around Raven's anus. She then slid one finger inside, eliciting a loud moan from the Latina who bit her lower lip and looked at Octavia with lust.

"Do you want me to release your hands?" Octavia offered.

"No... just fuck me, please..." Raven was starting to get impatient.

Octavia grabbed the dildo hanging down the upper part of her thigh and brought its tip near Raven's anal entrance.

Their eyes met, receiving a confirmation from Raven in the form of a nod and then she pushed, watching the tip disappear slowly inside her girlfriend.

A brand new sound of pleasure escaped Raven's throat, unlike anything Octavia had ever heard before, sending a vigorous wave of arousal throughout her body.

"You okay?" She didn't dare to go deeper without making sure Raven was alright.

"Uh huh..." the Latina moaned. "It feels good... Go for it..."

Octavia pushed further and soon enough the dildo disappeared completely inside Raven, who was gasping and moaning louder than ever, feeling her girlfriend's skin on hers at the end of each thrust.

"Fuck... Yeah... Ah... Fuck, baby..." she managed to say in between moans, giving Octavia the permission to start moving faster.

It was a very intense feeling for the both of them, a moment of complete trust and pure pleasure they knew they were definitely going to repeat in the near future.

Octavia moved her hand in the direction of Raven's lower abdomen until she reached her bulged clitoris and started rubbing it hard, knowing that it was exactly what her girlfriend needed to reach her climax.

Once her body had stopped shaking, Octavia slowly pulled the dildo out and took off the handcuffs, letting Raven fall down on the couch and enjoy the post-orgasmic serenity.

She didn't need a lot to get her own release, which Raven was happy to provide with her head between Octavia's thighs.

"If this is how you're going to welcome me every time I come home from a 24-hour shift, I'll start doing them more often," Octavia joked, resting her head on Raven's chest.

"How about you don't and we use that time for sex marathons instead?" Raven winked at Octavia before placing a kiss on her cheek.

"That's definitely a better plan," Octavia smiled and climbed on top of Raven, ready for round two.

* * *

Clarke was standing on the pavement in front of the building she was living in, waiting for Isabel.

It was Sunday and they had agreed that she would pick her up to go to her grandmother's house together.

They hadn't been in contact since Friday, when they met in Starbucks, except for the message Isabel sent Clarke the night before to offer her a ride to the upcoming lunch.

A little after 1 pm, Clarke noticed a blue Toyota Prius driving towards where she had been standing and when it was close enough, she recognized the driver.

The moment the car stopped, Clarke opened the door and sat down on the passenger seat.

"Hello," she greeted Isabel with a smile.

"Hi," Isabel greeted her back and leaned, giving her a kiss on each cheek. "You smell so nice... What are you wearing?" she asked as she started driving.

"Thanks... It's Pure Poison by Dior," Clarke answered.

"I like it very much," Isabel smiled. "How's your weekend so far? Did you go out last night?"

"No..." she smiled politely. "What about you?"

"Me neither..." Isabel answered. "I mean, I had a drink or two with a friend, but we didn't go to a club or anything..."

The 10-minute drive went by quickly, the small talk between the women seemed to flow and Clarke felt even more comfortable around Isabel than she already did two days ago.

Isabel had the keys to her grandmother's garage, so as soon as they arrived at the apartment building, she pressed the remote and opened the garage door.

María Isabel lived alone in a two-bedroom penthouse, located in the Salamanca district of Madrid, about 2km from Retiro Park.

Once they left the car in the garage, Clarke and Isabel took the elevator to the top floor and rang the bell.

A big smile emerged on Clarke's face when María Isabel opened the door and she immediately greeted the older woman with a kiss on each cheek.

"My Australian doctor!" María Isabel exclaimed, smiling. "Come in, dear, welcome..."

"What about me?" Isabel protested playfully. "Don't I get a kiss and a hug?"

"Of course you do," she hugged her granddaughter as she let the young women in.

"Thank you for having me," Clarke finally spoke. "It is so good to see you again!"

"It's a pleasure! You were so good to me... It's the least I could do," María Isabel replied as she took their coats. "Have a sit in the living room, please, I will be right there."

The apartment was very spacious and bright, with a big balcony and views of the city. In the living room, Clarke noticed a lot of framed photos of María Isabel's family, as well as many awards from her acting days.

There was also a small piano and a guitar in the corner, next to the balcony door.

"I made some tea," María Isabel came back with a tea pot and three ceramic cups. "I remember you said you're not a big fan of coffee," she said to Clarke as she laid the tray on the coffee table.

"You remember correctly... Thank you," Clarke smiled at her. "How's your wrist, by the way?"

"Perfect! You did an amazing job!" she answered as she sat down next to Clarke.

"Yes? Good enough to play the guitar?" Clarke asked.

"Oh... I haven't played much, to be honest..." a sad smile appeared on her lips. "Ever since Ramón passed away... I just don't enjoy it as much, I suppose..."

"Oh... I'm sorry..." Clarke felt bad for bringing up the subject.

"No no, don't apologize, dear... It's life..." she placed her hand on Clarke's knee, assuring her it was all good.

"Maybe you could play something for us?" Isabel suggested and saw Clarke's confusion. "Grandma said you were into music..." she explained.

"Right... I don't know if..." Clarke was reluctant.

"That's an amazing idea!" María Isabel encouraged her. "I would love to hear you sing, Clarke... Please."

"Alright, then..." Clarke gave in, seeing the joy on her ex patient's face. "Sure... I'll play something for you later..."

"Great!" the smile on the older woman's face widened after getting her wish granted. "So, Clarke... How have you been? How's the residency going?"

"Good, thank you... It's going well, I have one year left..."

"How wonderful... Are you going to stay at the same hospital afterwards?"

"I don't know... I'm going to do my last year elsewhere, actually..." Clarke replied.

"Oh, tell me you're coming to Madrid!" María Isabel exclaimed, sounding hopeful.

"A little further than that..." Clarke was sorry to disappoint her. "I'm moving to Los Angeles..."

"America?" the grandmother and the granddaughter were both visibly surprised by that information. "But... That's so far away, dear... Aren't you going to miss your family? Your friends? Your... Girlfriend... The doctor?"

"Well... My family's in Australia anyway... My friends can visit anytime... And I... Well, Eva and I are not together any more," Clarke explained.

"Oh... I'm sorry to hear that, dear..." she said softly. "Can't say I'm surprised, though..."

"Grandma!" Isabel interfered.

"What? Clarke was too good for her, it was obvious!" María Isabel continued.

"I'm so sorry, Clarke..." Isabel turned to the blonde. "She can't help herself..."

"It's perfectly fine," Clarke laughed, finding the situation amusing.

"See?" María Isabel looked at her granddaughter and raised her eyebrows. "There was something about that girl that I didn't like... You deserve someone better, Clarke..." she turned her head to the blonde again. "You know... Isabel is actually single," she said in a low voice as she winked at her.

"Grandma!" Isabel protested. "That's enough!"

"Alright, alright..." the older woman put her hands up in the air.

"Actually..." Clarke decided to set things straight before it got any further. "There is someone... in my life..." her eyes lit up at the thought of Lexa.

"There you go," Isabel smiled, looking at her grandmother. "You can stop the matchmaking now, yes?"

"Fine..." María Isabel gave up. "You love her very much..." she said as she looked at Clarke. "I can see it in your eyes..."

"I do," Clarke smiled gently.

"Is she coming with you? To the States?" Isabel inquired.

"She lives there, actually..." Clarke replied.

"Good for you, Clarke..." María Isabel said. "I remember you saying how you wanted to be more spontaneous and try new things... you said you felt like there was something missing in your life... Have you found it?"

"Yes..." Clarke nodded. "It's her... She's the missing part..."

"Oh, that's just lovely!" María Isabel was touched. "I'm so happy for you, dear!" she exclaimed as she leaned into a hug.

They talked a little more before they sat at the dining table to have lunch. All the food was vegan, since María Isabel had remembered Clarke's preferences, and also because Isabel was vegan as well and the older woman had gotten used to cooking cruelty-free food whenever her granddaughter came to visit.

After lunch, Clarke kept her promise and sang a song for the host and her granddaughter.

It was a song she had heard many times before over the radio, but lately it reminded her of Lexa and it was pretty much all she sang whenever she played the guitar.

_🎶Me cuesta tanto olvidarte_ _\- Mecano_🎶

_Entre el cielo y el suelo hay algo_   
_Con tendencia a quedarse calvo_   
_De tanto recordar_   
_Y ese algo que soy yo mismo_   
_Es un cuadro de bifrontismo_   
_Que sólo da una faz_

_La cara vista es un anuncio de señal_   
_La cara oculta es la resulta_   
_De mi idea genial de echarte_   
_Me cuesta tanto olvidarte_   
_Me cuenta tanto olvidarte_   
_Me cuesta tanto_

_Olvidarte me cuesta tanto_   
_Olvidar quince mil encantos es_   
_Mucha sensatez_   
_Y no sé si seré sensato_   
_Lo que sé es que me cuesta un rato_   
_Hacer las cosas sin querer_

_Y aunque fui yo quien decidió_   
_Que ya no más_   
_Y no me cansé se jurarte_   
_Que no habrá segunda parte_   
_Me cuesta tanto olvidarte_   
_Me cuesta tanto olvidarte_   
_Me cuesta tanto_

_Translation_ _:_

🎶 _Hard to forget you - Mecano_🎶

_Between the sky and the ground there is something _   
_With a tendency to go bald _   
_From so much remembering _   
_And that something that I am myself _   
_It is a picture of bifrontism _   
_That only gives one face _

_The exposed face is an announcement of a sign_   
_The hidden face is the result of my great idea to push you away_

_It's so hard to forget you _   
_It's so hard to forget you _   
_It's so hard _

_Forgetting you is so hard _   
_Forgetting fifteen thousand charms is a lot of good sense _   
_And I don't know if I'll be reasonable What I know is that it's hard for me to do things _ _inadvertently_

_And although I was the one who decided that no more _   
_And I didn't get tired of swearing to you that there will be no second part _

_It's so hard to forget you _   
_It's so hard to forget you_   
_It's so hard_

At the end of the song, Clarke opened her eyes and saw the two women who seemed mesmerized moments before they started clapping their hands.

"Wow, Clarke... That was... Amazing!" Isabel was the first to speak.

"Thank you," Clarke couldn't help but blush at the complement.

They sang a few more songs together before Isabel offered to take Clarke home. The blonde said goodbye to her favourite patient and followed Isabel to the garage, where they got in the car and drove off in the direction of Clarke's apartment.

About ten minutes later, Isabel parked the car in front of the entrance of the building and looked at Clarke who was thanking her for the ride.

"No problem, Clarke..." she replied.

"I'll see you around, then..." Clarke unfastened the seat belt, getting ready to say goodbye to Isabel.

"Can I..." the brunette hesitated. "Um... Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," Clarke was curious, noticing the hesitation in Isabel's voice.

"The song earlier... When you were singing it... Were you thinking about someone?" she asked.

"I was, yes..." Clarke answered honestly.

"The girl from L.A.?" Isabel took a guess and saw Clarke nod. "So... The two of you are not... together?"

"Um... It's complicated..." the blonde was not willing to go into details.

"Of course, sorry..." Isabel backed off. "I was a bit curious..."

"It's fine, really... It's just that it's a long story... And I'm a bit tired..." Clarke explained.

"Sure... I understand..." Isabel smiled at her softly. "Rest well, then... And if you'd like to share some of it with me... Or if you'd just like to hang out... You've got my number, yeah?"

"Thank you," Clarke smiled back. "I'll keep that in mind," she said before she opened the door, waved at Isabel and got out of the car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... here's another chapter for all of you who are still here with me 😉 I'd like to thank you for your support after the last chapter, it meant a lot to me!  
I think the story will have 40 chapters in total and probably an epilogue afterwards... Thanks again and let me know what you thought of this chapter and how you think the story will end 😄
> 
> Oh, and here's me, trying to get the chords right: https://youtu.be/xbWW04uD9Sw
> 
> S.


	39. Dear Clarke

"Are you sure?" Maia asked.

"Yes..." Lexa bit her lip nervously.

"You don't need more time?" Maia continued. "You're sure this is how you want to do it?"

"It's been almost two months... And you know how hard it's been for me..."

"Don't you think you should call her?"

"No..." Lexa shook her head. "If I hear her voice I won't be able to say everything that needs to be said... This is better..." she tilted her head down, looking at the envelope in her hand.

"Alright then..." Maia gave up. "I'll come to the Post Office with you."

Lexa nodded, smiling at her friend and grabbed her jacket before they left the apartment.

* * *

It was Friday and Clarke had just finished her shift at the hospital, completing the first half of February.

In the last two weeks, she had been spending time with Isabel, whom she'd found to be a great conversationalist, which Clarke really appreciated in a person. She had also discovered that Isabel was a good listener and she soon felt comfortable enough to start talking to her about Lexa. The blonde didn't reveal Lexa's identity, which Isabel understood completely and didn't push for more information, instead they talked about their trust issues and how to work on them.

Clarke always felt better after talking to Isabel, who seemed to understand the situation and didn't judge, on the contrary, she agreed that Clarke and Lexa had done the right thing to take some time apart to work on themselves. The blonde felt a lot more hopeful about their future together, knowing that no matter how much time they had been apart, her feelings for Lexa stayed strong and there was no doubt in her head that Lexa loved her back and that they would find their way back to each other.

Work had been great and Clarke had learn a lot from her mentor in Madrid, but she was also anxious to finish the remaining two weeks of her rotation and go back to Marbella.

In the afternoon she had just gotten out of the shower when she noticed the notification light on her phone. She unlocked the screen and saw that she had one unread message from Isabel.

**Messages**

_Isabel (6:13 pm):_  
"So... How are you spending Valentine's Day? 🤔"

_Clarke (6:18 pm):_  
"I would've totally forgotten it was today if it weren't for my roommates 🙄"

_Isabel (6:18 pm):_  
"Yeah? Big Valentine's Day fans? 🤭"

_Clarke (6:18 pm):_  
"Pretty much 😄 They're gone for the weekend... spending it with their boyfriends🤷♀️"

_Isabel (6:19 pm):_  
"Are you saying you're going to be all alone? On a Friday evening?"

_Clarke (6:19 pm):_  
"Nope, I have a collection of horror films to keep me company 😁 And some porn as well... you know, to mix it up a little 🤣"

_Isabel (6:19 pm):_  
"I was going to ask if I could join you... and then I saw the second part of the message 😅"

_Clarke (6:20 pm):_  
"😂😂😂 I can totally postpone that. I have the apartment to myself until Sunday evening 😝 So, no hot date for you tonight?"

_Isabel (6:20 pm):_  
"Nope... I'm boycotting Valentine's Day 🙃"

_Clarke (6:20 pm):_  
"For anti-capitalism or anti-love reasons?"

_Isabel (6:20 pm):_  
"Anti-capitalism 💪Love is not something to profit from."

_Clarke (6:21 pm):_  
"You have said the magic words and unlocked the next level of our friendship 🤘 I'm starting the marathon with _The Shining _at 8 pm."

_Isabel (6:21 pm):_  
"🙏 I will be there with a bottle of... gin?"

_Clarke (6:21 pm):_  
"Good choice 👍 It will go perfectly with the loads of junk food I brought home earlier."

_Isabel (6:22 pm):_  
"Awesome! See you soon 🤜"

_Clarke (6:22 pm):_  
"🤛"

* * *

About an hour and a half later, Isabel arrived at Clarke's apartment and they started watching the first film on the blonde's list. By the end of it, they had engaged in a conversation which forced them to pause the film, feeling a bit tipsy.

"You know... when we were in Marbella, we watched a horror film one night and she was so scared, but excited at the same time, you know?" Clarke said, remembering her time with Lexa. "It was so cute how she jumped at the scary scenes and squeezed my hand tighter, but still pretended she wasn't scared at all," she smiled nostalgically.

"She's not that into the genre, then?" Isabel inquired.

"Oh, she likes it alright... maybe not as much as I do... she wouldn't watch it alone, that's for sure," Clarke laughed. "God... I miss her so much..."

"I'm sure she misses you too..." Isabel was trying to make her feel better.

"What if she's right not to trust me?" Clarke tilted her head down.

"What do you mean?" Isabel was confused.

"I mean, how can I be sure that I won't do to her what my father did to my mother?"

"Your father?" Isabel was not sure what Clarke was referring to.

"Yeah..." Clarke realized she hadn't shared that part of her life with her new friend. "Couple of years ago my mum found out that my dad had been cheating on her... it was after he lost his job and... well, I suppose he had a lot of time on his hands... and since he doesn't drink or smoke, looks like the next best thing was to sleep with someone else," she shrugged.

"Oh... What did your mother do when she found out?" Isabel was curious.

"She was a mess... it broke her heart... but she forgave him... and I was so mad at her for letting him off the hook just like that... it's not like it was a one time thing either... turns out he had been seeing that woman and flirting with others for at least a year..." Clarke said angrily. "After a while I realized it wasn't my mother who was the weak one... it takes a lot of strength to forgive someone... she's the strongest person I know... And he... well... he just pretends that nothing happened."

"I can feel your anger when you talk about him..."

"Of course I'm angry!" Clarke said heatedly. "I'm angry at him for being weak... and I'm angry at myself..."

"At yourself?" Isabel asked.

"Yes..." Clarke nodded. "Cheating is something that I always thought it went against my nature... That I wouldn't be able to cheat on someone, no matter what... And then last year I met Le... I met her... And I was still with Eva..."

"But, Clarke..." Isabel interrupted.

"I know what you're going to say... yes, we had problems and I was going to break up with her anyway... But it still doesn't justify what I did, Isabel... I was weak... like my father," Clarke said, sounding defeated. "What if I'm more like him than I'd like to admit?"

"Does your father love your mother?" Isabel asked.

"If he does, he has a strange way of showing it," Clarke chuckled sarcastically. "He's definitely not _in love _with her, if that's what you mean... I know it..."

"Were you in love with Eva when you met your... the actress?" Isabel continued with the questions.

"No..." Clarke answered honestly.

"How long would you say you felt that way before Paris?"

"Ugh... Months... Maybe 3-4 months... Definitely even before my birthday in May..."

"And in that time did you sleep with someone else?"

"No! Of course not..."

"Why not? I'm sure there were tons of opportunities," Isabel insisted.

"Because... I'm not... I wouldn't..."

"Because you're not a cheater, Clarke..." Isabel smiled at the blonde. "What happened in Paris was one of those one-in-a million type of situation... You happened to be in a relationship with the wrong person when you met the right one. Should you have broken up with Eva earlier? Probably, yes. But we're humans, Clarke... we're not perfect... cut yourself some slack... It's not like you went back to Eva afterwards... you came back and broke things off immediately."

"But..."

"Do you find me attractive?" Isabel interrupted her again and saw Clarke's eyes widen at the question. "It's a simple question... yes or no?"

"Um... You know you're attractive," Clarke said.

"I do know that, yes..." Isabel grinned. "I repeat... do you find me attractive? Am I your type?"

"You are definitely my type," Clarke laughed, thinking about the physical similarities between her and Lexa.

"Great! So... let's say I'm attracted to you... we're alone in your apartment, we've had some drinks, we're having fun, right? And you are in a complicated... let's say... relationship with someone who lives on a different continent and hasn't been in contact with you in the last two months... No one would blame you if you felt like you needed something more than that, even if it's just for the night... Would you have sex with me? Right now?"

"No," Clarke said without hesitation.

"Why not? Who says she's not having sex with someone else as we speak?" Isabel continued, noticing the pain in Clarke's eyes, caused by her words.

"Because I love her..." a single tear rolled down Clarke's cheek. "I don't want to be with anyone else... I want to feel only her and to be touched by her and no one else..."

"There it is, my friend..." Isabel smiled, feeling satisfied. "There's your answer... And from what you've told me... the connection you two had... I'm sure she knows who you are... her trust issues have nothing to do with you and as soon as she deals with it, she'll come for you, I know it..."

Clarke couldn't stop the stream of tears down her cheeks as she threw herself at Isabel, hugging her tightly, grateful for the unexpected friendship they had developed.

"Thank you... thank you so much..." Clarke said as she moved away, wiping the tears off her face.

"You have nothing to thank me for, Clarke..." Isabel smiled gently. "You already knew this... you just needed someone to remind you."

They smiled at each other as they brought their glasses together in a toast.

"To love!" Isabel exclaimed.

"To love!" Clarke repeated after her before they drank up.

* * *

The next two weeks went by quickly and on Sunday, the 1st of March, Clarke was on her way back to Marbella with Raven, who had spent the weekend with Octavia in Madrid in an apartment the Latina had rented, so she could go visit her girlfriend every week over the next two months.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you..." Raven remembered and looked over at Clarke, who was sitting in the front passenger seat. "There's a note for you from the Post Office, seems like there's some mail you have to pick up personally."

"Yeah?" Clarke lowered her eyebrows. "Does it say who it is from?"

"No... I just saw that it was from L.A., but I didn't look at it too much, to be honest..." Raven answered, focused on the road ahead. "It came on Wednesday, when I was at work... and I just took the note upstairs to your room."

"It's probably from the hospital," Clarke shrugged, without thinking much of it.

* * *

On Monday, when Clarke arrived to work, she ran into Juanmi on the way to the cafeteria. He had just finished a 24-hour shift and was on his way home after the morning staff meeting. They talked for a bit about Clarke's experience in Madrid and he suggested that they should hang out sometime over the next month, before the blonde's trip to Australia, which she gladly accepted.

Clarke had decided to use what was left of her vacation days to visit her family over the Easter Holidays in the beginning of April. It was mostly because she wanted to say goodbye before she moved to L.A., but also because she had decided to finally have the overdue conversation with her father and try to restore their father-daughter relationship.

After deciding on a day to have drinks with Juanmi and Luna, she ordered a cup of tea in the hospital cafeteria and sat at her usual table.

She was about to send Octavia a message, when she noticed the shadow of someone standing over her.

Clarke looked up and was surprised to see her ex girlfriend, who was looking at her and smiling kindly.

"Hi, Clarke..." Eva greeted her politely. "May I join you?"

"Um..." Clarke was unsure how to react.

"I come in peace, I promise..." Eva said, raising her hands up in surrender.

"I guess... it's fine..." Clarke said cautiously.

"Thank you," Eva smiled as she sat across the table. "How have you been? I heard you're moving to L.A. in May..."

"Yes... I'm finishing my residency there..." Clarke replied.

"That's great!" Eva's smile widened. "And you'll be closer to Lexa..."

Clarke looked at her with mistrust, wondering why the sudden interest on Eva's part.

"Look..." Eva continued, almost as if she had read Clarke's thoughts. "I'm sure you're thinking I must be up to something, coming up to you like this out of nowhere... especially after our last... conversation," she said remorsefully.

"I am a bit confused, yes..." Clarke admitted.

"It figures..." Eva nodded. "I've been actually waiting for you to come back from Madrid, because I... I wanted to apologize for how I behaved," she said, seeing the surprise on Clarke's face. "Yes, I know you're not used to seeing me actually apologize... but I really am sorry, Clarke... I shouldn't have said all those things to you... and I'm terribly sorry I threatened to out Lexa... I hope you know I would never do that... it's just that my ego was hurt and I wanted to make you suffer... It was wrong, I know that..."

"Thank you," Clarke was pleasantly surprised, feeling the sincere remorse in Eva's words. "I appreciate you saying that..."

"It's the truth..." Eva smiled softly.

"I'm also sorry for how I ended things between us..." Clarke felt grateful for the opportunity to have a calm conversation about it with Eva. "I should've been honest with you and..."

"It's all good, Clarke, really..." Eva interrupted her. "We both could've done things better, but I know now that we just weren't right for each other... we should've broken up months ago, but I guess we weren't ready to see it then..."

"Wow..." Clarke raised her eyebrows. "I can't believe we can finally talk about this without yelling at each other..."

"Feels good, doesn't it?" the brunette joked and they both laughed. "The truth is... it was hard for me to understand how you could have fallen in love with someone you barely knew... just like that, over a weekend... and it wasn't until it happened to me that I realized that it can not be helped..." she smiled. "When it's right, it's right... it's impossible to fight it... I know that now..."

"It's true," Clarke smiled back. "And I'm glad to hear you got to experience it as well!" her smile widened, seeing the happiness on Eva's face. "May I ask...?"

"Of course!" the brunette didn't hesitate. "I met her in December during a Dermatology seminar in Málaga... she was one of the specialists who were organizing the event... The moment we laid eyes on each other... we simply clicked..." Eva seemed thrilled to bring back the memory of it. "We have been inseparable ever since..."

"Awww... that's so cute!" Clarke was genuinely happy for her. "Oh, I'm so glad for you, Eva..."

"Thank you," Eva's cheeks were slightly flushed. "It all worked out for the best, really... and I'm happy we got to have this conversation... I wish you all the luck in L.A. and please, tell Lexa I wish she hadn't seen me on my worst behaviour," she smiled as she stood up, getting ready to leave.

"Thank you, Eva..." Clarke stood up as well. "I'll make sure she knows that," she winked, taking a step towards her.

"A hug?" Eva grinned.

"You know I'm a hugger," Clarke laughed as they wrapped their arms around each other.

"Take care," the brunette said on her way out of the cafeteria, leaving Clarke at the table, still smiling at the gratifying closure with Eva she hadn't realized just how much she needed.

* * *

After work, Clarke stopped by at the post office on her way home to pick up the mail that had arrived for her while she was still in Madrid.

She almost fainted when she held the C4 white envelope with her name and address written on the front, immediately recognizing Lexa's handwriting. Clarke could pick the brunette's handwriting out of a million, having read countless times the first letter she had left for her on the bedside table after the last day of their vacation in Spain.

Her hands were shaking when she turned the envelope around and saw Lexa's name and return address on the back, confirming what she already knew.

Clarke had no memory of the 3-minute ride to her apartment due to the state of extreme excitement and also a hint of fear she was in, finding herself in her bedroom, sitting on the bed with the envelope in her hands.

Her heart was racing and she exhaled, trying to calm her breathing before she gathered the courage and finally opened it.

Inside there were two more envelopes, one of them with her name and the words "Open this one first" written on it.

She opened it, realizing it was a letter from Lexa as she started reading it.

_Dear Clarke,_

_There were probably about twenty different versions of this letter in my mind before I actually started writing it. But here's the thing - in the end they all said the same, the one thing that has been true since the very beginning... The only constant in my life... The ultimate truth..._

_I love you._

_I am in love with you._

_I trust you. Yes... I trust you, Clarke... With all of my heart._

_It was wrong of me to bring my trust issues into our relationship and I want you to know that it had nothing to do with you. Because, Clarke... from the moment I saw you, I knew you were trustworthy._

_I regret letting my old fears and unresolved issues come between us and for I moment I let myself forget what I had always known and what you have shown me over and over again..._

_This is it._

_You and I._

_And nothing else matters. I remember saying these exact words to you in Paris... I meant it then and I mean it now._

_It's been two months since the last time we spoke and the distance really put things into perspective for me._

_At first I thought I was going to lose my mind, because I didn't think it was possible to miss someone so much. I can't even remember how many times I had to stop myself seconds before grabbing the phone and calling you. At night I would lie down in bed, wondering if you were thinking about me too... and I won't lie to you... the thought of you moving on with someone else definitely crossed my mind. But after a while, something changed inside me... It was exactly like that feeling of tranquillity that comes after a storm... I felt calm, and it wasn't because I had stopped missing you... that would be impossible. There hasn't been a single day that I didn't wish you were by my side... I felt calm, because I realized that no matter where you are, no matter how long it's been, you are a part of me. As I am a part of you._

_All those insecurities I had suddenly seemed stupid, unfounded and the only thing that made sense was **us**. _

_And I love **us**, Clarke._

_I love being loved by you. _

_I love loving you._

_It's taken me a while, but I believe I am finally able and ready to give you what you deserve. I'm offering you all of me, Clarke. If you'll have me... I'm not afraid any more, not with you by my side._

_I want us to plan a future together... I want you, sitting next to me at all the events I'll have to attend and I want to sit next to you at all of your events as well. _

_I want to hold your hand when I finally come out to the public, because what we have is too beautiful to stay hidden, love. _

_And someday, I want to have children with you. There, I said it... It's true. _

_I want **you**, Clarke. _

_I'm not saying it's going to be easy and things will be perfect. You'll have to be patient with me sometimes and I know it's going to be a lot of pressure being constantly in the public eye, especially since it's not even by your choice. And I know I am asking a lot from you... But fame or no fame, life has its ups and downs and I don't know where it's going to take us, I just know that I want to be with you for all of it._

_I'm all in._

_I'm not expecting an answer right away... I know it is a big decision and you need to take a lot of things into consideration..._

_I will be in Paris for a convention on the 25th and the 26th of April, it is the same one where we first met - the same organization, the same hotel..._

_If you have an answer by then... maybe you could meet me halfway?_

_In the other envelope you'll find plane tickets, hotel reservations and weekend VIP passes for the convention for you, Raven and Octavia. The dates are flexible, you can adjust the trip however you need to, so it doesn't interfere with your work. It has all been arranged for, I left you a note with all the details and you just have to let them know when you'll be arriving, so they can send a car to pick you up from the airport._

_I really hope you'll decide to meet me, Clarke. But I'll understand if you're not ready... Either way I will be waiting for you. As long as it takes._

_Always._

_Yours,_

_Lexa_

Clarke's cheeks were wet from the stream of tears as she finished reading the letter and carefully put it back in the envelope.

It felt unreal. She had dreamed many times about Lexa coming back to her, confessing her love and how they would start over, but none of her dreams could have ever predicted the level of commitment that Lexa seemed to be ready to make with her.

Lexa was offering her the world and wanted nothing else but her love in return.

Little did she know that _she _was Clarke's world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter left! 😵 What did you think of this one? Isabel? Eva? Lexa's letter?  
Let's talk about it 🤓


	40. Genesis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here we are... Welcome to the last chapter! I am so thankful to all of you who took the time to read my story, and I am especially grateful for all the comments you've left throughout the chapters. It has really helped me shape the narrative and I believe I have become a better writer because of you. 
> 
> Thank you!
> 
> P.S. I have deliberately made the COVID-19 nonexistent in the story, as I feel we are all surrounded by all kinds of information and disinformation about it and honestly, as a doctor, it has become a huge part of my work in the last few weeks... So I chose to give our Clexa a Coronavirus-free world, which is why the Convention in Paris was NOT cancelled 😄
> 
> It has been an absolute pleasure and I hope you have enjoyed reading the story as much as I enjoyed writing it.
> 
> S.

It was almost unbearable how time seemed to stand still in the month of March and no matter how busy she tried to stay, Clarke's impatience actually grew as the days went by. Patience had never been her strong suit anyway and she was becoming even more aware of it on the last day of the month as she was counting the minutes, waiting for her shift to be over so she could go home and get ready for her flight that same evening.

Once Clarke had made sure she had everything she needed for the ten days she would spend with her family in Australia, she got in the car with Raven who had offered to take her to the Málaga airport.

After a 45-minute drive, they arrived at the departure terminal and Raven walked with Clarke to the security checkpoint after leaving the car at the airport parking.

"Thank you for the ride, Ray..." Clarke said as she was getting ready to pass the security control.

"Of course, dude... don't even mention it," Raven winked at her friend.

"You must be sick and tired of driving around, though... going to Madrid every weekend to be with Octavia and now taking me to the airport..."

"Not at all," Raven shook her head. "As soon as I see her face, I forget all about the long drive..." she smiled softly.

"Awww my Ray Ray is sooo in love," Clarke teased her.

"Yeah yeah," Raven gave her a push on the shoulder, trying to steer attention away from her flushed cheeks. "Don't forget to tell Ana I said hi..." she changed the subject, moving her eyebrows up and down.

"Ew... Please, don't ever say my mum's name like that again..." Clarke frowned. "It's gross."

"What?" Raven laughed. "It's her name, isn't it?"

"You know what I mean!" Clarke couldn't help but laugh as well. "Gotta go... thank you again... Drive safe!"

"Will do," Raven assured her. "Text me when you land, okay?"

"Yes... Bye, Ray!" Clarke hugged her friend before she walked away in the direction of the security checkpoint.

* * *

A little less than 30 hours and two layovers later, Clarke arrived to the Melbourne Airport at around 2 pm on April the 2nd.

Her sister and her mum picked Clarke up at the arrivals terminal, since they had taken two weeks off work so they could spend time with her.

"I missed you so much!" Ana said with tears in her eyes, cupping her daughter's face with her hands.

"I missed you too, mum..." Clarke couldn't help but tear up as well.

"Alright, alright..." Madi interfered. "Let's get going... Dad's making barbecue... and before you say anything," she said, seeing that Clarke was about to make a remark, "he's doing your vegan burger separately, don't worry."

"Good," Clarke smiled, satisfied with the information. "Let's go..."

Half an hour later, they arrived at their house in Williamstown and proceeded directly to the backyard where they found Clarke and Madi's father, wearing an apron and standing near the barbecue.

His blue eyes sparkled the moment he saw Clarke, unable to resist the need to hug his daughter.

He was a very attractive man, not particularly tall, but very well built and in good shape, with grey beard and very short haircut.

When Clarke was younger, people would always say she looked exactly like her mother, except for her eyes, but as years went by, there was no doubt that she had inherited not only her father's looks, but also his undeniable charm.

Madi on the other hand was more like Ana, personality-wise as well as her physique and the only thing she had in common with her father was the colour of her eyes and her birthday month.

Ana was also born in July and she was an attractive woman, about 170 cm tall, with shoulder length auburn hair, nut brown eyes and light skin.

When Clarke and Madi were still kids, the latter had convinced her little sister that she was actually adopted, claiming that Clarke couldn't possibly be their parents' biological child, since she was blonde, unlike them. And for a while, Clarke actually believed her and had even spent a lot of time searching through the family's documents, looking for her birth certificate. She didn't dare to ask her parents about it, because according to Madi, they would never confess and on top of everything they would ground her for telling Clarke about it. It was years later when Clarke learned about the inheritance of eye and hair colour in Biology class, right about the time her hair had started changing to a darker tone, and she had also found some old photos of her parents from their pre-puberty years where it was clear that, back then, their hair had been pretty much the same colour as hers.

By the time Clarke told her parents about Madi's lie, she was already all grown up and it had become a well known anecdote in the family. They knew that Madi's actions had been a consequence of the older sibling syndrome, probably because she had been feeling worried about being excluded after the arrival of the second child, but it was still funny reminding her about it years later. Especially because she kept denying ever having said any of it, always with a mischievous smile on her face, of course.

It felt good being home again, all the memories rushing back to her as she was hugging her father, whom she was finally ready to confront after the three-year pause in their relationship.

"Welcome home, Clarke..." Liam smiled at her before he returned to the barbecue.

"Thank you," Clarke smiled back, thankful that her father was not the chatty type, at least not with her.

They had lunch in the back yard, talking about Clarke's upcoming move to L.A. and her plans for the future. Madi was also happy to tell her sister about the wonderful time she had spent with Ricky when he visited her in February and she was excited about going to Spain with Clarke in about ten days to surprise him.

Once they were up to speed with the new developments in their lives, Clarke went to bed, determined to talk to her father as soon as possible, hopefully the following day.

* * *

It was Friday afternoon and Clarke was finally feeling the effects of jet lag lessen, so she went outside, leaving her mother and sister in the living room, going through some of Madi's new designs for the new collection.

The moment she stepped outside, she saw her father cleaning his bicycle and walked towards him.

"Going for a ride?" she inquired.

"Oh, hey Clarke..." Liam was surprised to see his daughter take an interest in his every day activities. "The weather is perfect for it today... Maybe you'd like to join me?" he offered.

"I'd like that, actually..." she replied, noticing the joy on her father's face.

"Great!" he couldn't hide his enthusiasm. "I'll get your mum's bicycle ready for you, then..."

"Alright... I'll go change and I'll be right back," she said before she went inside the house.

They started their ride from their home, passing the Altona Coastal Park all the way down the bay along Williamstown and headed towards Newport Riverside Park. There they decided to rest for a bit at HMAS Yarra (II) National Memorial, which Clarke saw as a great opportunity to start a conversation with her father.

"Dad... I wanted to talk to you about something..." Clarke felt a bit nervous as she sat on the bench.

"Yeah? Is everything alright?" Liam seemed concerned. "Do you need help with the move? Your mum said you didn't want to take any money..."

"No, no..." Clarke shook her head. "That's all under control... I sold my motorcycle a week ago and I've been using Octavia's car to go to work... I'll just take my guitar with me and two big suitcases... Raven and Octavia will be living in the apartment in Marbella anyway, so anything I leave behind, they can ship it to me in case I need it..." she explained. "And I have enough savings, so everything is good..."

"Good, good..." he nodded. "Just let us know if you need anything... My job doesn't pay much, but we have more than enough..."

"I know, Dad... thank you..." Clarke felt grateful for her father's concern. "Listen... I know I haven't been calling you lately..."

"You've been busy, it's understandable..." Liam tried to take away importance from the lack of communication between them in the last three years, realizing where the conversation was actually headed.

"Dad..." Clarke said with a pleading tone of her voice, locking eyes with her father. "It's been three years... We need to talk about it..."

"About what?" Liam was desperately trying to avoid the confrontation.

"You know what..." Clarke insisted. "I'm not a child any more... I wasn't here, but I know what happened between you and..."

"You may not be a child any more, but you are still MY child," he interrupted her. "Whatever happens in my marriage, it doesn't concern you, Clarke!" he said firmly. "Let's get back on the bikes..." he stood up abruptly.

"No!" Clarke raised her voice. "What you did, it didn't affect only your marriage, whether you realize it or not! It affected us all!"

"I am still your father, Clarke!" Liam was visibly upset. "You don't talk to me like that!"

"Shouting is the last thing I want to do..." Clarke said, trying to calm her voice. "I'm begging you to sit down and listen to what I have to say... Could you do that for me, please?"

Liam exhaled before he slowly approached the bench and sat next to Clarke, still unable to look her in the eye.

"Thank you," she said. "You are my father... and I love you," she started speaking calmly. "I am incredibly thankful for all the support you have given me and for always being there for me... But you really need to understand why I was so affected by what happened between you and mum..." Clarke continued and saw her father's jaw tense. "I have always looked up to your marriage, hoping to find love like yours someday... and seeing it fall apart like it did... and seeing a side of you that I had no idea existed... Dad..." Clarke couldn't contain the tears in her eyes. "I was so angry... Everything I ever believed in was suddenly gone... Mum was a mess... you were pretending everything was alright... So I distanced myself... and you let me..."

"What do you want me to say, Clarke?" Liam finally spoke. "Do you think it's easy for me seeing how big of a failure I am in my own daughter's eyes? Do you think I don't know how I've let everyone down? Well, guess what..." he looked at Clarke. "I let myself down too... I never thought I'd be so lost... You have no idea how it is to never have found your place in life..."

"What... what do you mean?" Clarke lowered her eyebrows.

"I mean, I don't have what you have, Clarke... You love what you do... so does your mother and your sister... You all have something you're passionate about and you make a very good living..." he explained. "And look at me... I studied something I didn't even like, because it was what what people thought there was a demand for back then... never worked in the field anyway... All the jobs I ever had were nothing more but a way to provide... and now I'm driving around tourists... This is not how I pictured my life would be..."

"Dad..." Clarke knew her father had never been satisfied with his job, but was not aware to what degree it had actually affected him. "Wasn't there anything you felt passionate about?"

"Soccer..." Liam answered. "That's the only thing that I've ever loved doing... and I was pretty damn good at it... Still am..."

"You were in the Australian national youth soccer team..." Clarke remembered.

"I was..."

"And then you fell and broke your arm... or leg, was it?" she asked.

"It was my arm..." he replied. "It wasn't serious, but it was enough to make your grandparents scared for my future... they meant well, I don't blame them... they thought going to college was the safe thing to do, that I could get a nice job... whereas if I had been a professional soccer player, it would've only taken one bad injury and I'd be out of work in a blink of an eye... So I quit..." he shrugged. "I didn't take the risk... and that's one of my biggest regrets... along with... you know... my other big regret... doing what I did to your mum..."

"So... you do regret it, then..." she said softly.

"Of course I do!" he raised his voice. "I'm not a monster, Clarke..."

"I know you're not... It's just that you never showed it... It felt like you didn't think it was a big deal..."

"You know how I am, Clarke... Just because I don't show it, doesn't mean I don't feel it..." he exhaled before continuing. "I was in a bad place back then... The company I worked for went bankrupt and I felt worthless... again. I know it's not an excuse, and I know times have changed and that I shouldn't have felt less of a man for not being the bread earner in the family... but I guess I did... and you know the rest..."

"Did you feel more of a man by cheating on mum?" Clarke couldn't help but ask, still in a soft tone.

"I have no idea how I felt, Clarke..." he tilted his head down. "I just know that in that moment it felt like it was an escape... She was an unknown woman who saw only the version of me I wanted her to see, you know what I mean? She thought of me as a big shot... and I liked it... Your mum on the other hand... she'd known me for years and had seen all my failures... and when I failed once more, I felt ashamed... and it was just too painful being around her..."

"But you didn't fail at anything... You had no control over the company's bankruptcy..." Clarke spoke. "And in spite of the unhappiness you felt regarding your career path, you never let that stop you from always being there for us, dad... not only did you provide for us, but you also supported us in every way possible, always making sure to spend time with Madi and me, doing sports together, trips in nature... And look at us now..." she smiled, putting her hand on his shoulder. "We are who we are today because of you and mum..."

Liam still couldn't look at Clarke, trying to hide the fact that his eyes were filled with tears. Clarke had seen him cry only once in her entire life, after her grandfather's funeral, which he had no idea his daughter had actually witnessed, as he was alone in the bedroom after all of the guests had already left.

"It's good to know that I was at least a good father... even though I've been a lousy husband..." there was a hint of a smile through the tears that had escaped his eyes.

"You're lucky mum forgave you..." Clarke said quietly.

"If I did anything right, it was marrying your mother..." he said as he finally looked at her. "I don't know why she did it... and I know I don't deserve her or her forgiveness..."

"We all deserve forgiveness, dad... I believe that now..."

"Have you forgiven me, then?" he asked.

"You made a terrible mistake... completely unfair to mum who had always been there for you no matter what..." she said and saw her father nod as he tilted his head down again. "And she had to pay the price for your insecurities... Until now, I really thought that you didn't care... or maybe I wanted to think that, because it was easier to stay angry at you thinking you weren't sorry for what you did... After talking to you about it... there is still no excuse for it, because I believe cheating is not something you can justify... trust me, I also learned my lesson..." she chuckled softly as her father turned his head to look at her. "But at least now, knowing that you truly regret your actions, I believe you deserve forgiveness... You already have mum's and I'm giving you mine as well... if you want it..."

"Thank you..." he said as he wiped a tear off his cheek. "I don't know what to say..."

"How about we hug instead?" Clarke smiled and they wrapped their arms around each other, tighter than ever, finally ready to let things fall into place and fill the gap that had been keeping them apart for nearly three years.

"What did you mean when you said that you learned your lesson?" Liam asked as soon as they moved away from each other.

"Oh... You caught that," she smiled. "It's something I'm not proud of... Um... so, there's someone in my life that I..."

"Lexa?" Liam interrupted her.

"You know?" Clarke raised her eyebrows.

"Yes... I heard something in one of your video calls with your mum... And she told me afterwards..." he confessed. "Don't be mad at her... I wanted to know how you were..."

"I'm not mad at all," Clarke grinned. "I'm glad she told you... I don't know if she mentioned that I was actually still with my ex girlfriend Eva when Lexa and I ... um... met ... in Paris," she blushed at the end of the sentence.

"She didn't go into details, actually..." he smiled.

"Well... I messed up because I wasn't honest with Lexa from the beginning... And even though I broke up with Eva the moment I got back from Paris, it still didn't take away the fact that I cheated... I hurt Eva, I hurt Lexa... And I had to accept the fact that I was capable of doing something I thought I would never ever do... Especially after seeing what it did to mum..."

"I'm..." he exhaled. "This is all my fault... I was selfish and I didn't want to see all the damage my actions actually did to all of you..."

"Dad, it's okay, really..." Clarke didn't want to make her father feel even worse. "I mean, yes... it affected us all, but I'm not blaming you for what I did... I did that all by myself... There was a moment where I had to make a decision and I chose the easy way... I admit, it would've been very difficult to stop myself from doing it, but I should've been able to control it... I chose not to..."

"Hm... Clarke Eliza Griffin letting go of control?" Liam said sarcastically. "This Lexa must be a force or nature or something..."

"Oh, you have no idea," Clarke laughed. "But... I messed up... and I almost lost her because of it... Thank God she found it in her heart to forgive me..."

"Looks like we both must have done something right in our previous lives," Liam joked.

"Definitely," Clarke smiled. "But even after she forgave me... I realized I hadn't really forgiven myself... Because, how could I let myself off the hook so easily and at the same time not give my own father a chance to explain himself... I needed to forgive you... And now I have... Because I believe we shouldn't let our mistakes define us. We should learn from them and do better next time..."

"It's interesting, you know... I think I never forgave myself either... I'm actually not sure if I'll ever be able to... but talking to you about it definitely helps..." he smiled gently at his daughter. "I'm glad we did this, kiddo..."

"Me too, dad..." Clarke smiled back, feeling relieved.

"It's getting late... we should head back," Liam suggested.

"Let's go," Clarke agreed and they starting riding in the direction of their house in a lot better mood than at the beginning of the afternoon.

* * *

The rest of Clarke's vacation home was better than ever, spending wonderful moments with her family and they even attended a junior league soccer game of the local team that her father had started couching recently.

The week went by quickly and next thing she knew, she and Madi were saying goodbye to their parents at the airport as they were passing the security checkpoint on their way to board the flight back to Spain.

* * *

_Paris, 25th of April, 2020_

It was almost 10 am when Lexa checked her phone for the last time before getting ready to join the rest of the crew on the ground floor.

Lexa had called the reception the night before, as well as that morning, to ask if the two rooms she had reserved for Clarke and her friends had been occupied and was disappointed to find out that it was not the case.

Was it possible that Clarke had actually moved on and had no intention of showing up or even contacting her ever again?

She knew that Clarke had received the letter she had sent her because of the tracked delivery and also because the blonde had sent her a video of her singing as a response to the letter, but Lexa hadn't heard from her since then, which she wasn't really worried about until that morning when she realized that she hadn't arrived yet.

Lexa had already checked Clarke's Instagram and Facebook profile, as well as Raven's and Octavia's, but there was no indication of an upcoming trip on any of them. Clarke hadn't really posted anything basically since the last time they spoke, but Raven and Octavia were always very active on social media and she was sure they would've posted something about the trip.

She opened the chat she had with Clarke on WhatsApp and after confirming that the blonde wasn't online, she listened to Clarke's cover of the song one more time before she left the hotel room.

_Lyrics:_

_Solamente oír tu voz_   
_Ver tu foto en blanco y negro_   
_Recorrer esa ciudad_   
_Yo ya me muero de amor_

_Ver la vida sin reloj_   
_O contarte mis secretos_   
_No saber ya si besarte_   
_O esperar a que salga solo_

_Y vivir así, yo quiero vivir así_   
_Ni siquiera sé si sientes tú lo mismo_

_Me desperté soñando, que estaba a tu lado_   
_Y me quedé pensando, que tienen esas manos_   
_Sé que no es el momento, para que pase algo_   
_Quiero volverte a ver, quiero volverte a ver_

_Y me siento como un niño_   
_Imaginándome contigo_   
_Como si hubiéramos ganado por habernos conocido_

_Esta sensación extraña_   
_Que se adueña de mi cara_   
_Juega con esta sonrisa_   
_Dibujándola a sus anchas_

_Y vivir así, yo quiero vivir así_   
_Ni siquiera sé si sientes tú lo mismo_   
_Me desperté soñando, que estaba a tu lado_   
_Y me quedé pensando, que tienen esas manos_   
_Sé que no es el momento, para que pase algo_   
_Quiero volverte a ver, quiero volverte a ver_   
_Quiero volverte a ver_

_ Translation: _

_Just hearing your voice_   
_Seeing your black and white photo_   
_Walking around that city_ _I'm already dying of love_

_Going through life without a watch_   
_Or telling you my secrets_   
_Not knowing whether to kiss you_   
_Or wait for it to just happen_

_And live like this, I want to live like this_   
_I don't even know if you feel the same_

_I woke up dreaming I was beside you_   
_And I kept thinking, what is it about your hands_   
_I know this is not the time for something to happen_   
_I want to see you again, I want to see you again_

_And I feel like a child_   
_Imagining us together_   
_As if we had won because we met_

_This strange feeling_   
_That takes over my face_   
_Playing with this smile_   
_Drawing it at ease_

_And live like this, I want to live like this_   
_I don't even know if you feel the same_

_I woke up dreaming I was beside you_   
_And I kept thinking, what is it about your hands_   
_I know this is not the time for something to happen_   
_I want to see you again, I want to see you again_

The convention was about to start and she was walking with one of the organizers of the event towards the big Conference room she remembered all too well, but she was quite absent-minded, thinking about the fact that Clarke still hadn't arrived to the hotel. 

The only explanation Lexa could now think of was that she hadn't been able to come and it took all the strength she got to get up on stage with a smile on her face and greet the room full of fans that had come to see her and the rest of the cast of the show.

It was impossible to resist the need to scan the room, looking for blonde hair in the audience and after a while she had no choice but to give up, considering that if Clarke was there, she would've been in the VIP zone, which was closest to the stage, and yet she was nowhere to be found.

Still, she didn't lose hope. She hung on to it, deciding not to overthink the situation and relax, because it was quite possible that Clarke's plane may have been late and she was actually on the way to the hotel.

About ten minutes later, they started receiving questions from the audience and after the other actors answered a few of them, there was one fan who had a question for Lexa.

It was a French girl with long brown hair and pale skin, who nervously stood up and held the microphone, almost shaking before she finally managed to speak up.

"This question is for Lexa..." she said in a strong French accent. "Um... I was wondering if... maybe... you would like to go out on a date... with me?"

The audience started cheering, everyone visibly excited to hear Lexa's answer.

"Thank you..." Lexa spoke with a smile on her face, after having waited for the audience to calm down. "Um... I'm flattered, really... However..." she said, making her fans laugh. "Um... I'm actually... not available..." she finished and the audience started cheering again, throwing more questions at her.

The presentor noticed the interest that Lexa's answer had generated, so she decided to give the fans what they wanted.

"Lexa... you have always said you were single..." she said. "Does this mean that it is not the case any more?"

"Well... I'm... I'm in love with someone... I have been for a while now..." she said, feeling the heat in her cheeks, especially when the fans started screaming.

"Wow!" the presentor was surprised at Lexa's honesty. "Will you reveal their identity? Are the two of you officially a couple, then?"

"I will not reveal any information for now, no..." Lexa smiled softly. "All I can say is that I'm hoping to make it official soon..."

"Alright, aright..." the presentor tried to calm down the audience. "Just tell us if it is someone famous? Maybe someone from the show? Someone in the acting or in the music industry?"

"No, not from the show..." she answered. "Not a celebrity either... but I can tell you that they have the most beautiful voice I have ever heard... That's all I'm prepared to say for now," she smiled politely and gave the microphone back to the presentor.

The woman had no choice but to move on to the next fan and about twenty minutes later, the first part of the questions section was over and they announced that they would proceed to the photoshoot for the fans with VIP passes.

Lexa left the stage and followed the person from the organization who was in charge of taking her to the space reserved for the photoshoot sessions.

The moment she stood in front of the photography backdrop, she felt overwhelmed by the memory of standing in that exact same spot almost a year ago, unaware that the person she would fall madly in love with was about to enter.

She was becoming more nervous as she was unsuccessfully trying to concentrate on what one of the organizers was saying to her, unable to stop looking in the direction of the entrance, hoping to see Clarke there.

A few minutes later, they finally let the fans in and one by one they were approaching Lexa who was posing with them in front of the photographer. In between photoshoots, she would quickly scan the room, looking for Clarke and after the fifth fan, she suddenly felt weak in her knees when she noticed the blonde standing by the entrance.

She looked even more beautiful than Lexa remembered, her hair was now shorter, shoulder length and slightly darker, and she was wearing her favourite black Topanga t-shirt, a blue denim jacket and dark grey skinny jeans in combination with her black old skool Vans shoes.

Lexa blinked repeatedly, trying to make sure she was not imagining it and her heart almost jumped out of her chest when Clarke smiled at her, finally accepting that she was actually there.

Clarke was there and she was smiling at her, just like the first time they laid eyes on each other, only this time she knew for sure that she was looking at the love of her life.

There were still three people in front of Clarke though, so Lexa had no choice but to continue with the photoshoot, impatient to have the blonde in front of her.

What felt like an eternity later, it was finally Clarke's turn and Lexa could feel her heart pounding in her ears as the blonde approached her with a smile on her face, her ocean blue eyes locked on Lexa's emerald green.

"You came," Lexa managed to say when Clarke stood directly in front of her, a soft smile finding its way on her full lips.

"Of course I did," Clarke replied. "You have my heart, remember?"

Lexa's eyes instantly filled up with tears, overcome with all the love she felt for the blonde, ready to explode inside her chest after all those months she was forced to live without her.

She bit her lower lip, trying not to cry when she saw that Clarke's eyes were starting to tear up as well and Lexa took a step forward, surprising the blonde when she was suddenly so close to her that she could feel her breath on her lips.

"And you have mine," she finally said as she cupped her cheeks with her hands and leaned, desperate to feel Clarke's lips on hers.

The blonde welcomed Lexa's advances, letting her take what belong to her anyway and placed her arms around the brunette's waist the moment their lips touched, pulling her closer.

It felt like they were in their own bubble, unaware of the cheering of the people around them, including Raven and Octavia who had been standing behind Clarke the whole time, which Lexa hadn't noticed at all due to her tunnel vision whenever the blond was in question.

Tears fell down their cheeks as they interrupted the kiss to fill their lungs with air, leaning with their foreheads together.

"So, this person you're in love with..." Clarke was the first to speak. "Do they sing better than me?" she said with a smirk.

"You were there?" Lexa smiled, raising her eyebrows.

"Yes..." Clarke smiled back. "We were in the back... I didn't want you to see me before the photoshoot..."

"Is that so?" Lexa laughed.

"Yes... I wanted to recreate the moment from last year..." she confessed.

"It was very romantic..." Lexa said as she pulled her closer, pressing her lips on Clarke's neck before she whispered in her ear. "I missed you so much, baby..."

"I missed you too..." Clarke said in a low voice. "But I'm here now... and I'm not going anywhere without you, love..."

Lexa locked eyes with Clarke and they smiled at each other before they leaned into another kiss, followed by an applause from the people in the room, to whom it was obvious that they were in presence of true love, the kind you read about in books and only see in films, yet Clarke and Lexa were lucky enough to find when they least expected.

They kept their promise and found their way back to each other, finally reunited in the most romantic city in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you liked the finale!   
Feel free to check out the second part of the story about Clexa's life in L.A.
> 
> Thank you again from staying with me til the end and I hope you'll be here for my next story as well.
> 
> S.


	41. Part 2

Hello! 😁 I just wanted to let you know that I have kept my promise and I wrote 3 more chapters and an epilogue as well 🤓

I published it as part 2 of Series... In case you haven't seen it, here's the link: 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23430466/chapters/56158216

Hope you like it! 🤗 I'm looking forward to reading your comments ❤️

S.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first story, it is an original piece based on some of the characters from the TV show "The 100".
> 
> *** I do not own the rights to those characters' names that belong to the TV show "The 100" ***  
I do however own the rights to this story, which is an original and it is NOT allowed to copy it or use it in any other way without my permission.


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